Axel wanted to love Roxas.
Now, granted, Roxas always scoffed and told him that Nobodies didn't possess the capacity to love, but that never stopped the pyro. He was positive that what he felt for Roxas was genuine.
Being with the blond boy made him feel whole. Made him feel like his life had a purpose and that he did, in fact, have emotions.
There were no fancy words or drawn out confessions of love to describe what he felt for Roxas. To him it was so simple, so linear, that there was no need. He loved the blond (regardless of what the others thought nobodies were capable) and that was all there really was to it. He could go on for days about how he felt and what he liked about Roxas, but to him that seemed like it was taking the magic and the mystery from the whole thing. As if it was breaking it down into something measurable and therefore able to be fabricated over and over again.
And to Axel, and what little experience he had gathered thus far, that wasn't what it was about. He thought that this shouldn't be something that can be recreated. It was something he had made to be his own illusion of emotions. It was unique, just like that scientist's snowflakes; each one different and never able to be made again.
Sometimes, when he was close enough to his precious blond, he channeled a ghost of the remnants of feeling that must be residing in Roxas. Experiencing true feeling, even if only a little and only for a short moment, made him feel real. Reassured him that he was capable of loving, and that is was not all for naught and only part of some sad illusion.
So, armed with the memories of such emotions, it didn't bother Axel when Roxas would reject his company or disappear to who knows where; because there were always those times that Roxas proved he felt for the redhead. Times like after missions, where he'd spend the rest of the afternoon him, without the pyro having even to ask.
Hey, the first word out of the kid's mouth was his name. That counted for something, right?
And so Axel spent every waking moment possible with Roxas, whether the other wanted him around or not.
Axel grabbed the front of Zexion's cloak as soon as the shorter nobody stepped into the common area.
"Well, hello there little mole," he sneered, seeming to be delighted with the name, "is there a reason why you've crawled out of your tunnels?"
Zexion chuckled lightly, "Really? That's the best you could come up with? Words really aren't your forte."
The red head scowled and shook him slightly, yanking their faces closer together, "Just tell me what the hell you want before I end your pitiful existence."
Zexion smirked at his short temper; after all, fire was fickle and quick to turn on you. So he decided to ignore the somewhat lacking threat and merely leaned forward to kiss him.
Axel jerked back, his unguarded expression a mix of furry and shock, "What…the…fuck?"
The blue haired nobody smiled politely, "Ah, my apologies, I seem to have gotten ahead of myself there," and melted into the image of Roxas. The other gaped and dropped him to the ground.
"Well, that isn't very nice, now is it?" 'Roxas' asked with a frown, the formal words sounding wrong coming from his mouth.
Axel snarled, "I don't know what the hell you're trying to pull, but you better knock it off before I turn you into a pile of ashes!"
"My, my, how terrifying" 'Roxas' pouted mockingly, expression turning wicked "But…can you kill him? Would you actually harm his pretty face and his precious figure?"
The red head looked absolutely murderous, but Zexion was quite confident that he was safe as long as he kept this image.
"Come now," 'Roxas' reasoned as he picked himself up off the floor, "There's no need to get all up in arms, I'm simply offering you a chance. An illusion all the same, yes; but it's much better than your own lacking imagination, hmm?"
Axel watched him warily, curiosity overpowering the initial anger. It would be a lie for him to say this possible situation didn't appeal to him greatly.
"What's in it for you? What am I going to have to give up for this?"
'Roxas' held up his hands in mock surrender, "Why, nothing at all, it is a no strings attached arrangement. I am merely fulfilling my orders, from the Superior himself no less. It would be foolish to pass up this prospect, as well as causing myself to fail this particular assignment."
Axel hated when Zexion started talking in that pretentious manner of his; it meant that the smaller nobody knew he had won, knew before the argument was even half over. At this point it was futile to resist, as Zexion always found a method to get his way in the end. And besides, nobodies don't feel or have emotions at all, why should he throw away a perfectly good chance for an outlet?
You knew things were hopeless when you started seeing things the cloaked schemer's way.
"Whatever," Axel growled, "I have a mission now, but when I come back…you better be near, got it memorized? And if I find that is one of your newest ploys…there will be hell to pay, you can be sure of that!"
'Roxas' merely smirked and yanked the pyro down for one last forceful kiss, pulling back moments later to reply, "Understood. I shall be waiting then."
As Axel portaled away Zexion dropped the guise and leered; this game was becoming far too easy, especially when his subjects were unknowingly drowning in their own facades.
Zexion enjoyed Axel immensely, almost to the point of pretend fondness, of faux love.
Or rather, he reveled in messing with him. Yes, there was that small flicker of real adoration, something not so different from a young girl falling for the school's residential bad boy. But Zexion's love for getting him needlessly worked up overshadowed the notion that Axel was considerably balanced, as far as guys like him came.
But Zexion rather liked seeing the redhead's expression flare with rage or annoyance; preferred seeing the sneer over an actual smile, as the latter made the pretending too real for comfort. He favored the pyro rough and uncaring, instead of that fake appearance of love and gentleness; otherwise it was akin to twisting the knife, and Zexion didn't quite want to deal with that anymore.
He did everything he could to keep Axel in an aggressive mood. The redhead was too easily lost in the image of Roxas that Zexion would wear; too easily slipping into some sense of being whole and harboring true emotions. Which not only pained Zexion, seeing as it only made it agonizingly obvious that they were empty, but also made it very clear to him that he was unable to trick himself into such a blissfully unaware state. One could not trick the trickster after all.
Yes, if he did not keep Axel's consciousness in the present then the pyro would lose himself completely.
Because to Axel this was more than a mere game. He relied on Zexion. As if Zexion could fill that empty space, as if Zexion could make him feel. Could give him what no one else had been able to.
Zexion had been able to give him Roxas, and to him that spoke volumes.
Fuck. The pain. The burning. The unnatural stretching. He'd never taken before; as Marluxia had merely sent his vines to do his dirty work, contenting himself with watching, but oh shit– Axel started moving.
'Roxas' sucked in a ragged breath, trying to keep his sounds in check; unsure whether to moan in pleasure or cry out in discomfort.
The redhead kept pushing; piercing green eyes out of focus and his consciousness drowning somewhere deep where nothing -not even the writhing body beneath him- could reach him.
He knew it sound cliché, but having sex with Axel was just like playing with fire. It burned and stung, but filled you with an overwhelming, suffocating euphoria. Exactly like a drug; knowing it hurt, knowing it would kill you someday, but always coming back for more; always craving the poisonous touch, consuming all thoughts, ignoring the warnings, not caring, constantly needing more just to breath, necessary to pull in those shaking and shuddered gasps of air laced with keens.
Every time Axel shoved in, unaware of the smaller blond's discomfort, a moan or whine would tumbled from his lips and a spark of addictive pain shot up Roxas' spine. It hurt more than anything, but oh god…he wouldn't trade anything for this feeling. Maybe this was why the other nobodies held on to their pretty fantasies so tightly.
The pyro's wiry hands crushed Roxas' shoulders in a frantic grip. But the younger one was too busy moaning and clutching the fiery crimson locks to care. He forced a leg around the moving hips haphazardly, wanting to feel this potent mix of sensations deeper, marveling at how each time Axel shoved in it seemed like he was shoving Roxas' consciousness into oblivion with it. Pain, even more than pleasure, obliterated all rationality. There was no need for thought here, not anymore. There was only feeling and reactions, everything Zexion(currently Roxas) worked so hard to build up regressing within moments to carnal instincts. And for once…the cloaked schemer couldn't care less.
