((Note: This is literally being crossposted from AO3 only as a joke. While the chapters will be published here the same as they are on other sites, if you want the full experience with proper authors notes, links to fanart and side stories, etc., I suggest you try the original copy on AO3:

(archiveofourown)(.org)(/works/5571245/chapters/12843326) (please note the url is split up to get around this site's bullshit formatting. You'll have to copy and paste in pieces.))

Waterfall is a quiet stillness and tranquility that Sans has grown to love. It's the least populated area of the Underground, its natural mazes and endless rivers making it a difficult to navigate and, to many, uninhabitable area. But, to Sans, this very nature of the place is what makes it safe to him. He knows this area like the back of his hand. His knowledge of its secrets is subpar to only a few, and considering he's only been living here a couple years, much less than the decades, or even centuries, some others have had, Sans thinks he's done pretty well. He's a naturally observant person, and he's put that to use.

Which, Sans reckons, will be something that will come in handy now.

When the boat touches down on the banks of the dock, Sans steps out quickly, and then reaches down to grab the human's backpack while she stands up from where she'd been crouching against the floor of the almost flat boat, trailing a hand in the water in amazement as the Riverperson's magic pushed them to Waterfall in a bare few minutes. Once she's out of the boat, Sans hands her bag back to her and turns to the Riverperson.

"Wait here, please. There's someone that will need a ride back to Snowdin."

The Riverperson nods, and Sans leads the human up the way that leads to Gerson's cave. She pauses as they pass the other two pathways, and Sans waves his hand in dismissal. "That first one just leads to an abandoned house, the other's a snail farm."

"…A snail farm?"

"Run by these three ghosts. They're all kinda nutty, really. Always either screaming at each other over nothing or refusing to go anywhere unless it's together. Cousins, or something."

The human hums contemplatively, but nods and follows Sans the rest of the way up the path. At the entrance to Gerson's cave, he stops and signals the human to do the same. "You might want to wait here. Gerson's pretty harmless, but I wouldn't exactly call him a… fan of most humans. It's probably better if you just—"

He's cut off when a small force slams into him from behind. The human yelps and he stumbles back slightly at the sudden weight hanging off of him, but looks down and relaxes when he realizes who it is. Only his brother would manage to turn a well-meaning hug into a flying, full-bodied assault. Papyrus looks up at him, and grins, and Sans feels properly at ease for the first time all day.

"Heya, Paps. Were you well-behaved for Gerson while I was in Snowdin?"

His brother pouts. "Of course. The Great Papyrus is always well-behaved."

Sans grins, and reaches down to scoop him up. "Well I don't know about that," He says, "but I think it's fair to say your well-behaved most of the time." Papyrus makes a face at him, and Sans laughs.

"Ah, see you found your brother, kiddo."

Gerson steps out and leans against the entrance to his cave, observing them with a neutral expression. He raises an eyebrow at the human in her heavy cloak standing behind Sans, but doesn't comment on it. Instead, he fixes his eyes on the brothers and gives Sans a polite nod. "Sans, you're back a bit early. Not much to do today?"

"Something like that." Sans says, trying to keeps his nervousness out of his voice. "Well, thanks for watching Papyrus, but we've actually got to be going now, so if you'll excuse us…" He wraps an arm firmly around Papyrus, and uses the other to grab the edge of the human's cloak, pulling her along. They don't get more than two steps when Sans hears a pointed cough from behind them.

"Kid, that cloak may not be too bad of a disguise, but I fought a years-long war against the human race. You really think I wouldn't recognize one when they show up on my doorstep?"

Sans freezes, turning back around to face him slowly. He feels the human hesitate next to him, and makes to pull her behind him, but she twists out of his grip and steps forward. She's trembling when she pulls down her hood, but determinedly looks Gerson in the eye. Papyrus gasps, and Sans shushes him quickly.

"What of it?" She asks, the barest quiver in her voice betraying her fear.

Gerson shrugs. "Nothing really, I suppose. Just observing the facts. Of course, theoretically, if I wanted, I could hand you over to ol' Fluffybuns or his Royal Guards. Sans too, for willingly aiding a known human."

Sans frowns. He knows Gerson well enough to tell when he's bluffing, and he definitely is now. He goes to step forward, but the human side-steps in front of him, throwing an arm out to keep him from stepping around her.

"No, you won't."

Gerson looks at her calmly. "And you'd stop me, kid? Humans may be pretty tough creatures down here compared to most monsters, but even I can tell you're not much of a fighter."

The human tilts her head. "You're right, I'm not a fighter. But there's a difference between not usually having the will to fight, and the ability to. I…" She breaks off, and Sans sees the hand that's still by her side curl into a fist. "I haven't hurt anyone, and I would like to keep it that way. But, my own safety aside… Sans is helping me purely because he chose to, and I won't risk letting anything happen to him as a result of that, no matter what he says about monsters looking out for their own." She turns her head and gives him a pointed look. "Not because of me."

The human's expression is resolute when she turns to face Gerson again, but he merely gives an easy chuckle. "Relax, kid. That's all I needed to hear." He studies her carefully. "You're quite the honest little thing, aren't you?"

"Yes." The human says, bluntly. "I don't like people who lie to me. So how can I expect someone to trust me if I'm not honest with them? It's only fair."

Gerson hums thoughtfully and nods. "Maybe you're one of the rare good ones, kid. Regardless, I'm not gonna stop you. I said goodbye to all this human-related nonsense of Asgore's years ago." He pauses. "Be careful, though. There are a lot of others who wouldn't feel that way."

The human nods. "Thank you." She turns to leave, and Sans grabs her arm.

"Wait." He looks at Gerson. "The barrier— Do you know how a human can get across it? Why does Asgore—"

"I meant it when I said I was done with that stuff, son. " Gerson tells him firmly. "I retired when monsters came to the Underground, and cut ties with Asgore the minute he started with his ridiculous plans to get out and wage war with humanity. I'm sorry, but I don't have the information you're looking for. I'm sure you know where you can go to get it, though."

Sans sighs and nods, turning and walking down the pathway out to the dock. The human falls into step beside him, and he grins. It's the first time she's walked next to him rather than hiding behind him since time flipped backwards. It feels more comfortable, like they are on even footing for once. He leans over and nudges her in the side gently. "You didn't have to say all that stuff, y'know. You didn't even need to talk to him. It looked like you were pretty frightened."

She looks at him with wide eyes. "Are you kidding? I was terrified." She pauses. "I still had to say that though, had to be honest. He was testing me, to make sure I wouldn't use you to keep myself safe at your own expense. And… I think I needed to hear myself say that." She smiles at him. "If I don't make an effort to protect myself and find my own way out of here, then I really am just letting you put yourself in more unnecessary danger. I'm… I've been enough of a burden to people before. I don't want to be one again."

Sans frowns. "You're not a—"

"Are you really a human?" Papyrus asks loudly, interrupting him.

The human startles, but looks down at Papyrus and grins. "Yes, I am. And you're Papyrus, right?"

"Mhmm!" Papyrus nods emphatically. "I'm the Great Papyrus, coolest and bestest skeleton there is!"

"I bet you are." The human says. "Though what about your brother? Is he cool too, or just a boring-bones?" She gives Sans an amused look, and he makes a face at her in retaliation.

"Sans no rude faces!" Papyrus unhooks one of his arms from around Sans's neck and baps him on the head, before scrunching up his face in thought. "Sans is… cool, too. But he makes too many bad puns."

"Oh? I think your brother's puns are a ton of fun."

Sans raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yup." She says. "A skele-ton."

Papyrus blinks once, and then lets out a howl of enraged disbelief. "SANSSSS! NO! SHE'S DOING IT TOO!" Sans can barely contain his snickers, and neither can the human, though they're both drowned out by Papyrus's continued shrieks of exaggerated anguish. Once all three of them quiet down, Papyrus looks between the two of them and hums happily. "Are you two friends?"

The human pauses, then nods decisively. "Yes, we are. I could be your friend too, if you like?"

Papyrus's whole face lights up, and he cheers. "Wowie! I'm friends with a human! And Sans has a friend who doesn't smell like grease!" He pouts theatrically. "…Even if they do also make puns."

Sans grins easily, but when they turn the corner and the dock is there with the Riverperson waiting, his smile falters. "Actually Paps, speaking of grease…." He bends down and deposits Papyrus on the ground carefully, then crouches down so that they are looking at each other on the same level. "You're going to have to stay with Grillby and his parents for a bit, okay?"

"What?" Papyrus's pout is back, but this time it's real. "Without you?"

Sans sighs. "Yes, without me."

"No!"

"Papyrus please. This is really important. It'll only be for a day or two, I promise."

Papyrus crosses his arms and glares at him. "I don't want to! Not without you!"

"I can't Paps." He says quietly. "The human… It isn't safe for her here. There are bad monsters that would want to hurt her. She needs to get to the castle, but she can't get there without someone to guide her. As her friend, I need to help her."

"I… don't understand." Papyrus frowns in confusion and looks at the human. "Monsters want to hurt you?" The human sighs, and crouches down next to them, nodding to Papyrus.

"Yes, your brother has offered to help me get back home. Though…" She looks down, and twists her hands together nervously. "I'd… probably be okay on my own, if you wanted to stay with your brother, Sans." She glances at Sans. "You should take care of Papyrus. I can figure something out."

Sans glares at her. "I already said I'd help you. Stop backing out because you expect me to suddenly change my mind, I'm not going to. I promised, didn't I?"

"But, your brother…"

"Paps will be alright without me for a couple days." He says firmly, consciously ignoring the part of him that rebelled in horror at not being able to keep an eye on his brother. He trusts Grillby and his parents, he could trust them to watch Papyrus for a day or two. His brother would be fine. It was the human that needed help right now. "Right, Paps?"

Papyrus looks between the two of them. "You're… only going for a couple days, to help the human get home."

"Yes."

His little brother sighs loudly. "Fine. Though you have to be back as soon as possible. I hate Grillby's house, it always smells like grease."

Sans grins. "You got it, bro." He goes to stand up, and Papyrus jumps on him, hugging him tightly. Gently, he wraps his arms around Papyrus and rests his skull on the top of his brother's, breathing in the faint smell that is a mix of earth, and wool, and all things Papyrus.

It'll be okay, he tells himself. You'll get the human out of here. You'll come back to your brother. Everything will be fine.

Taking a deep breath and resigning himself to the inevitable, Sans breaks away from the hug. Reaching down and fixing Papyrus's favorite scarf, the red one that's way too big for him, he nods to himself once, a reassurance, and then picks his brother up and lifts him over the gap between the shore and the boat, setting him down carefully in the middle of the base of the boat.

"Snowdin." He says. "And make sure Grillby's the one who picks him up."

The Riverperson hums an affirmative, and Sans can't bring himself to look at Papyrus's nervous face, he can't, he can't—

"Wait." The human steps forward, and kneels at the shore next to the boat, pulling something out of her backpack. "Before you go, Papyrus. I have a present for you."

In the blink of an eye, Papyrus goes from nervous to excited. "A Present?!"

The human grins. "Yep. Here, hold out your hand." Papyrus sticks out his hand excitedly, and the human drops a smooth pinkish-brown pebble into it. "This is from the Surface, where my home is. I don't know if you have stones like these down here, but even by Surface standards, this one's color is pretty cool. I think so, at least. Though… I mean, it's just a pebble, so if you don't want it, I completely understand—"

"I love it!" Papyrus's entire face is one big smile as he brings his hand back to his chest and cradles the stone in his palms, looking down at it with excitement. "I can really have it?"

"Of course." The human says, voice warm. "Consider it a friendship gift."

Sans watches his brother's eyes widen. "A friendship gift?"

"Of course." The human says with a wink. "Those are very important, you know." Papyrus nods excitedly, and she smiles. "It's also a promise gift. I'm giving that to you with a promise that I'll keep Sans safe just like he's keeping me safe, and he'll be back home before you know it. Ok?"

"Okay!" Papyrus shouts. "I hope you get home soon, too."

"Thank you."

Papyrus grins, and then turns to the Riverperson. "I'm ready to go now, please." The Eiverperson looks to Sans, and with a nod from him, encircles the boat with their magic and pulls it down the river out of sight.

"Bye Paps." Sans mumbles, as he watches the boat go, then looks to the human as she straightens up, holding her backpack. "You really have a thing for gifts, don't you?"

She shrugs, and looks down, running a hand over the pink frills that still stick out of her backpack, an almost sad expression on her face. "Gifts are important. A gift from the heart, even an impromptu one, is, to me at least, much better than an expensive one when it's given with no love behind it."

Sans hums thoughtfully. "I'd have to agree with you on that one."

A slight wind whistles through the river tunnel, and they both turn and look out over the water. It's the same dark, rushing blue Sans has seen a thousand times, but he doesn't think he'll ever get tired of it. To many monsters, the river that runs through the Underground is just a convenient mode of transportation. But to Sans, who can never look at it without remembering the first time he saw it, with wide eyes at the realization that something that big and lively existed in the strange place of gentle waterfalls and small pools that had become his new home, the river is its own force of nature— Dangerous, but beautiful. He wonders if they have sights like that up on the Surface, with all its supposed great big open spaces. Ones that are small, easy to ignore, if you're not the kind of person to focus on them while passing by, yet so strangely beautiful and unique, if only mostly to those who haven't seen too much of the world, and if only in the smallest of ways for everyone else who has.

"What now?" The human asks.

"Now," He says, "We go barter for some information."

xxx

"Right." Sans says, kicking open the dimensional storage box that sits outside Gerson's shop and pulling out the sack of emergency trade items he keeps in there. "Rule one of dealing with the monsters we're about to go see: Don't let their physical appearance fool you. Temmies are possibly some of the most vicious and cunning creatures in existence when they choose to be. Their happy-go-lucky attitude and idiotic persona are simply a cover for their intelligence. I can't stress this enough— Do not underestimate them."

The human's face is pale, but she nods. "Um… If they're so bad, why are we going to see them?"

"Because." Sans straightens up and slings the sack over his shoulder. "They trade either directly or indirectly with almost everyone in the Underground, they run a good portion of the economy that way, and as such, they make it a point to know what's going on." He offers the human a grim smile. "Once you get past their bullshit, Temmies are the ultimate source of information, so long as you're willing to pay them what they want for it. Luckily," He motions to the sack. "I keep a sort of emergency supply of tradable items here, in case I ever need something urgently and for whatever reason can't or won't go back home for my regular stuff. Never had to use it, but looks like it'll finally come in handy."

The human frowns. "We could just try to use what's in my backpack, you know. You don't need to waste your stuff on me."

Sans waves his hand. "Don't worry about it. This isn't important trade items or anything I can't find again." He shrugs. "To be honest, I always sort of thought I'd never end up using it at all, it just seemed like a good idea at the time when I first put it here. Keep your stuff, you might need it later on."

"…Alright." She says. "If you're sure."

"Yup. Ok, follow me."

The walk down the cavern halls is quick, but when they reach the room that hides the entrance to the Temmies' village, the human stops and grabs Sans's sleeve, her eyes wide and frightened.

"This is going to sound stupid, but I really don't like the dark."

"It's not that far, I promise." He says. "I've walked it loads of times. You can hold onto me if you want."

The human shakes her head. She's even paler now, hands grabbing at the fabric of her cloak and pulling it more snugly around herself. "No, you don't understand. I really, really don't like the dark. I'm terrified of it. I…" She cuts herself off, pressing a shaking hand to her mouth. She looks close to tears.

Sans blinks.

Oh.

It's that type of fear. The type that claws at your throat and pulls all the air out of your lungs and leave you screaming on the inside. The type that makes absolutely no sense in the vast perspective of things or when explained to someone else, but makes perfect sense to the one person who feels it. The type that crawls to the forefront of your mind and takes over any logical thought.

…The type of fear Sans felt that first time he saw the Underground's river, mixing with and eventually overwhelming the awe he primarily felt at its beauty, when Papyrus got too close to the edge, and all of a sudden all he could feel was breathless terror.

The type of fear Sans still feels sometimes when he sees the patches of frozen river in Snowdin, especially when Papyrus is anywhere near them.

It's a paranoia that won't be leaving him anytime soon. As it is now, he still struggles occasionally with letting Papyrus ride in the Riverperson's boat, despite knowing it's perfectly safe. Sans doesn't think it's a fear he'll ever really be over, irrational and impossible to explain as it is— Just another piece of wherever he came from before Waterfall to haunt him.

That fear on the human's face? He knows it all too well.

"Okay," He says, backing her out of the shadows of the entryway. "Okay. Not a problem. Just wait here for a second, all right?" The human nods stiffly, and he ducks inside the room, walking with practiced precision the steps he's learned to navigate perfectly in the dark, until he reaches the first glowstool in the room, tapping it to activate its quiet blue light. After that, he merely has to follow the glowing patterns on the floor to each consecutive glowstool, until he's lit up the last one in the room, and the whole area is laid out in a soft blue glow. With a grin, he backtracks to the human and gives her a thumbs up. "This should solve the problem." The human follows him into the room, and upon seeing the glowing pathway that lights up the space around them, instantly relaxes.

"Thank you."

He shrugs. "No problem. I get it. Well… I mean, not the dark thing, but… I get crazy nervous around rivers sometimes. Frozen rivers, to be more exact. 'Specially when Pap's near 'em. So…" He coughs. "Right. Temmie village, this way."

The human follows him calmly this time, and at the edge of the entrance to the village, he stops and motions to her cloak. "Should probably put the hood back up. They might recognize you're human anyways, cause, like I said, they know basically everything, but it's still best to give them as little of an idea as possible 'bout what you look like." The human hums an agreement and pulls up her hood. Out of instinct, Sans reaches up and does the same, drawing the hood of his coat low over his brow. It's pretty much pointless these days, the Temmies know his name and probably basically everything about him, but he'd really rather not leave the back of his head exposed to those things.

Stepping inside Temmie village is, to Sans, like stepping into his own personal, custom-designed hell. Everything is obnoxiously bright, and loud, and lord help him why is one of them always humming that damn song.

He freezes in his tracks and tries very hard not to turn around and bolt the other way. It's only when the human brushes past him, shooting him a confused look as she passes him, that he manages to get himself moving again.

He's spent this whole time promising the human she can trust him to keep her alive and safe— Like hell he's going to hide behind her here of all places.

"H0i, i'M TeMmiE!"

The human stops, and blinks at the Temmie that's wandered up to her, offering a smile to it. "Hello there." She crouches down and peers at it with interest, and hurriedly Sans grabs the back of her cloak and pulls her up.

"What happened to rule one?" He asks her with a sigh, before looking down at the Temmie still standing in front of them. "Go away. Shoo." In an instant, the Temmie's vacant eyes harden to a death glare, which never leaves Sans's face as it slinks away from them, stepping into line with the other Temmies that dot the area. Multitudes of beady eyes look up at him, and Sans, against all biological possibility, feels himself begin to sweat nervously. He's never figured out if the Temmies are a species that just inherently looks the same no matter what, a bunch of clones, or just demon spawn. He's always leaned towards the third option, but he's never been to keen to properly find out, and he isn't about to either.

"C'mon." He says, dragging the human into the shop and ignoring her half-voiced complaints as she gazes longingly back at the main room. "Believe me, they're not as sweet as they look."

"Awww… wHy Say tHaT? MaKE TemMiE sAd…"

With a cringe, Sans turns and faces the head Temmie staring at him with her head cocked slightly to the left in a deceptively innocent manner, a dumb half smile on her face. He glares at her. "Cut the crap, I'm not in the mood." Lifting the sack off his shoulder, he swings it in front of her, watching her eyes track it with intent, before chucking it down on the table in front of her. "I've come to trade." The Temmie's small closed smile stretches up into a wide grin, showing off sharp incisors, and Sans shivers nervously as he hears the human gasp and instinctively grab his sleeve.

Yeah… he really doesn't like these things.

The Temmie motions him closer, and he steps forward to the edge of the table, the human a careful step behind him. Reaching down, he opens the sack and upends it, spilling the contents out onto the table. Sans looks at them, and winces. It's mostly human junk he'd fished out of the lower pools, which, depending on the items, could be quite valuable on the goods market. But these, looking at them under the more experienced eye for these things he has gained over the last couple years, they… aren't. It isn't a bad stash considering it was only for a hypothetical emergency, and was put together after he'd barely been around for a couple months, but it definitely could have been better.

The head Temmie's eyes sweep over the items quickly, and she clucks her tounge in mock disappointment. "Not enough for that coat for your brother, though I suppose you already knew that?"

Sans nods. "That's not what I'm here for."

"No." Says the Temmie. "I didn't think you were." Her eyes glint, and she looks around Sans, focusing in on the human standing behind him. "Come here. Let me get a look at you, human."

The human gulps, but shuffles forward until she's standing next to Sans. The Temmie hops up from her seat behind the counter and walks across it towards her. Quickly, Sans shoots up an arm in front of the human and glares at the Temmie, sending her a clear message.

No further.

The Temmie chuckles and stops, looking over the human with scrutinizing eyes. "Just a child, aren't you? Then again, they're always children." She hums and walks backwards, hopping into her seat. "You're younger than the two humans that came before you, but older than the first who died at Asgore's hand." She gazes at the human, expression curious. "How will you fare against him, I wonder? You're not a fighter, but you are a survivor, aren't you? Or you were. Are you still? Or have you given up? I doesn't matter, really. Every human that comes down here is a survivor, in their own way. It still didn't save any of them from death."

The human whimpers, curling in on herself. "That's enough." Sans snaps. "We're here to get information, not listen to cryptic threats. So are we going to trade or not?"

"But of course." The Temmie says. "Please, take a seat." The human yelps as suddenly, two chairs slam into them from behind, forcing them both to sit. Sans looks back at the two Temmies that have appeared seemingly from nowhere with the chairs and glares, but then turns back to the counter with a sigh. The Temmies' rough version of 'hospitality' is nothing new to him.

"Ask away."

Sans wishes it was that simple, but he knows the drill. Quickly, he scans the items on the desk in front of them and picks out three, sliding them towards the head Temmie. "What does Asgore want with human souls? Why are they so valuable?" The Temmie blinks, and he sighs and grabs another piece of human junk, adding it to the pile in front of her. The Temmie grins and straightens up.

"Humans are made of layers of inverses of monsters. While a monster's body is sustained mostly of magic, human bodies are made of much tougher stuff. As cost for this, almost all humans lose the ability to perform magic, but in return they are much physically stronger than monsters. A side effect, of course, is that, while a monster's strongest attribute is their soul, as it holds deep connections with magic, a human's weakest, and yet, also their most powerful, attribute is their soul. A human's soul is very susceptible to magical attacks— Unless a human kills magical beings, their soul will remain on par in that regard with the very weakest of monsters, no matter how physically strong in body they are. However, the inherent power, barring magic, of a human's soul is incredible compared to our own. For whatever reason, something about what makes humans 'human' allows their souls to often persist for some time after death. " The Temmie offers the human a sharp-toothed smile. "Extraordinary, is it not?

"A monster who takes a human's soul and absorbs it can gain immense power. They become a beast with both the magical capability of a monster, and the physical power and strength of soul of a human— Something more formidable than even a Boss Monster or human Witch. One such creature could pass through the barrier, a proven fact. It has been done before."

Sans frowns in thought. He's never heard of such a thing happening, but then again it's become apparent he's rather behind the times on a lot of these things. "So then why is Asgore collecting multiple souls? He is, right? You said there have been other humans." The Temmie mimes zipping her mouth shut, and with a sigh, Sans chucks another two items over the table to her.

"There is, of course, another option. If one could gather enough human souls, seven to be exact, then they could absorb them all, and become something else entirely." The Temmie says. "A literal god among monsters, and a near unstoppable force to even the humans. This is what King Asgore plans, and what he gathers the souls for. With seven human souls, he can become God. Using his immense power, he will shatter the barrier, and lead us into the second human and monster war. At least, that is what he has said he will do." The Temmie tips her head to the side. "Who knows what will really happen? After all, he is rather… wishy-washy, and who is to say we would win in this theoretical battle? There are more humans than us, as there always have been. And humans do so like to tear down false gods, don't they?"

Sans shifts, and fights the urge to turn and run, now, because she must be lying, she must— But Temmies never lie, and if she's not lying then they're dead, they're all dead, because that's crazy, that's the craziest plan for getting out of the Underground possible. They can't go to war against humans and win, they can't. Even Sans accepts that as a universal fact, and he's barely been around here a few years. Has everyone forgotten how they ended up in the Underground in the first place?

The human places a hand on his arm, her expression worried, and Sans shakes himself out of his stupor, because, right, priorities. Focus on getting the human out now, panic about their apparently insane King's plan to reawaken a war that happened over a century and a half ago and nearly wiped out their entire race.

He pushes forward two of the last few items left. "Theoretically, how does a human get out from the Underground then?" The Temmie looks coolly at him, and he adds another item. That leaves only one left. Sans hopes, against all odds, that the Temmie will give them everything they need. "How does a human get out?" He repeats.

The Temmie hums contemplatively. "The general belief is that a human could cross the barrier of their own free will, as the barrier was constructed to keep monsters in, not humans. Still, that's just a general theory, untested and unproven. There have been… rumors about whether or not it is possible, but no one truly knows. If Asgore knows the definitive answer, then he's being wise and keeping his cards close to his chest." The Temmie pauses. "Of course, there is always the guaranteed option." She offers the human a dark smile, light glinting off her pointed teeth. "Since it has been proven that the combination of human and monster soul is enough to cross the barrier, if a human killed a monster and managed to claim their soul before it eroded, perhaps not even absorb it, just carry it with them, they could most definitely cross the barrier."

"Absolutely not." Snaps the human.

"Oh? Then I suppose you're willing to take the risk that, should you even make it as far as the castle, you may just be trapped regardless and fall to Asgore?" The Temmie chuckles. "If we count you, he'll only need three more. Such a shame, war is so bad for business. Though I suppose it might make an interesting spectacle."

"You're awfully neutral about the destruction of monsterkind." Sans mutters, unable to stop himself.

The head Temmie simply shrugs. "Temmies will survive, we always do. The rest of you, though? It's the luck of the draw. Not that it makes a difference to— Oh." Sans blinks. A Temmie has appeared from…somewhere, he has no clue how, and is standing next to the head Temmie's chair. "What is it, sweetie?" The Temmie gestures, she leans down, and the Temmie whispers something in her ear. Whatever it is brinks back the sharp-toothed, sadistic smile full force, and instantly Sans feels nervous. "Oh really?" She straightens up and gazes at them. "That is very interesting."

"I think we're done here." Sans says with a scowl, going to stand up. "C'mon—" His chair slams into his knees forcefully from behind, no doubt pushed by a Temmie, cutting him off and forcing him to sit down again.

"Don't you want to know the interesting news my dear Tem just heard?" The Temmie asks, all faux-innocence. "It concerns you and your little human friend, you know."

With a rather pointed glare, Sans looks down at the one item he has left to trade, just a pair of human sunglasses with one lens shattered, not worth much value at all on the goods market, and back up at her. The Temmie simply sighs, and looks to the human, who's already pulled her backpack out and is rummaging around inside.

"Don't." Sans grumbles. "It's what she wants." The human just gives him a look with a rather clear message.

It's not like we have a choice not to.

Pulling out two candy bars from the bag, the human holds them up for the Temmie's inspection with a raised eyebrow. When the Temmie nods, she chucks them down next to the sunglasses. "Now talk."

"Well apparently…" Could the Temmie's smile get any wider? "Word's gotten out about a possible human in the Underground. A couple monsters caught sight of what they thought was a human walking through the trees of Snowdin forest, and when the Royal Guard dogs were sent to investigate, they picked up what could be a human's scent and traced it back to Snowdin, where a couple citizens told them about the strange monster they'd never seen before walking with a skeleton through town. Until the threat is either confirmed or denied, the Underground are now on high security mode, and there's talk of sending a couple sweeps of guards through parts of the Underground. Waterfall is likely one of those possibilities, as someone thought they saw the skeleton get on the Riverperson's boat with a monster in a cloak."

Sans blanches, and glancing over he can see the human trembling slightly next to him.

God dammit, he thought they'd been careful enough.

"So if I was you two…" The Temmie purred. "I'd get moving awful quick."

Sans stood up with a growl. "They come by and you sell us out? I'm never trading again. You can try to find someone else capable of navigating the lower pools who's willing to take your shit prices."

The Temmie waves a paw. "Calm down. Our deal remains in place. The Royal Guard never pays well for information anyways."

"Wait." The human stands up and places her backpack on the table. "Before we go, how much for the coat for Papyrus?"

"Don't bother, it's fine." Sans mumbles, trying to tug her away from the table, but she ignores him, staring at the Temmie with a neutral expression.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to part with a finger or two? There are always people in the market for human flesh." The human turns faintly green and shakes her head. "No? Didn't think so. Let's see what you've got then."

The human opens her backpack wider and tips it toward the Temmie, who peers inside and mumbles as she digs around. "Would you part with the tutu?"

"No." The human says firmly. "Anything else, though, is fair game."

The Temmie pulls out of the bag, holding three books, a pair of socks, and a water bottle. "Any more candy bars?" The human opens the side pocket and hands the Temmie two more. The Temmie looks over her hoard and grins widely. "Normally this wouldn't be enough, but good human food is difficult to find, as are good-condition human books, so I suppose you have a deal." A Temmie appears by her side, holding the heavy winter coat Sans had been trying to buy for weeks now. "It's yours."

Picking it up without a word, the human hands it to Sans, still so surprised the Temmies actually traded for what they'd been holding over his head for so long that he takes it without a second thought, and walks out of the room.

Sans blinks, and chases after her. "Hey!" She's standing in the village, observing the Temmies with none of the previous awe she had earlier. "You didn't have to trade for that. I would have gotten it eventually."

"Consider it repayment." She mumbles, turning towards the entrance. Quickly, he grabs her arm, tugging her back around to face him.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm helping you out of choice? You don't need to pay me for that."

The human shrugs. "You wasted all that stuff helping me, I think me offering a few things in return is fair trade. Besides, that's something your brother needs, and all the stuff she took from me is stuff I can do without. They weren't of much value to me."

"Well…" Sans sighs. "If you're sure…." She nods. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She hesitates slightly. "…We should probably get moving, right? Just in case there really are guards coming through."

"I'm not going to let them hurt you." Sans says, to reassure both himself and her.

"I know you won't." The human says quietly. With a sigh she surveys the room, and then tips her head back, closing her eyes.

"You alright?"

"Yes." She hums. "I just… feel very determined all of a sudden. I don't know why."

"Well… that's probably a good thing, right?"

She nods, looking at him and grinning happily. "Yes, I think it might be."

((The official blog for Not As Simple is on tumblr here: (fallendownfallenback)(.tumblr) (.com))