I OWN NOTHING, now I'm gonna start playing Metal Gear Rising's sweet-ass soundtrack while writing this chapter.
XXXXXX
You're already extinct
A certain mercenary PMC leader was currently in his office enjoying a fine red wine from the nineteenth century. It was expensive as Hell, mind you, but right now it felt so worth every single penny. So Slade Wilson thought to himself to spoil himself a bit. He never asked for much, just that his little brother, niece and disciple could stay calm without giving him a headache every time he tried to relax and have some peace and quiet- What was that annoying buzz? Oh, right, his cell-phone.
"Naruto?" the white haired man asked as he looked at the ID of the caller, a picture of Naruto when he and Wade had one too many chimichangas and laid on the living room. It turned out to be a message, and a simple one at that:
I need back-up.
XXXXXX
Naruto stood before the large museum, midnight was nearing and the tension was killing him. And yet, here he was, on a bench across the museum's street, cross-legged and meditating. Recalling his old memories certainly helped to get his nerves away, much more when even when said memories were just about how he put his fist in some arrogant bastard's face. But for now, he wanted to be prepared, so his mental training served to both calm his nerves and recall a complicated but effective technique that took him quite a while to master. It may be common knowledge to most ninjas, but for him it wasn't easy considering his type of chakra was already very rare even with the fox in him.
Ah yes, Kurama… That damn fox became a part of him to save him. Strange, when he was a kid both wanted to eliminate each other, but after facing his own darkness, accepting that Sasuke needed to be stopped and acknowledging what a real friend was in the reluctant alliance he made with the fox… It was kind of melancholic to feel that furry asshole in him. He was a bastard, but he was an ok bastard that the blond would miss.
Soon the sound of a chopper's blades reached his hearing range. Up in the night sky of Gotham a certain Russian, fellow blond man was grinning like a shark. "Kid, a little present from Rose!" Emil shouted at the top of his lungs, throwing a familiarly large suitcase at the youth. Soon the kid's cell-phone rang, Emil's voice calling, "Kick some ass! I'll be patrolling the area, the guys are looking around for where that Pamela cutie is, and if you need help just give me a call and I'll jump with Sasha here." He said, and Naruto could swear the man was patting his Saiga shotgun.
"Thanks, man, I owe you." Naruto said.
Emil grinned, "You bet you owe me and the guys. You went in first class, we had to go with the economic class… but I guess I can forgive you because the air-hostesses were moderately hot."
Naruto hung the phone, letting out a sigh, "Pervert…"
The blond boy put the suitcase on the bench he had been sitting in and opened it to find out really neat stuff… Ok, better elaborate there. The gift was not only from Rose, but also had touches from all the other Wilson's. From Slade it was torso armor, not chainmail, but a black, body fitting, skin-tight armor like in Metal Gear, with both gauntlets being orange while the fingers were black. Naruto simply took off his black jacket and put it over his orange muscle shirt, the material was very resistant but felt incredibly flexible. Other parts were orange knee guards and orange boots made of the same material, he put his pants inside the boots, giving them a ballooning effect. From Wade and Wanda was a belt with several pouches, he tied it up around his waist and put all his kunais, shurikens and explosives in them, Wanda's touch was to leave a note with a lipstick kiss signing it. Last but not least, from Rose he got a sweet katana, its sheath and handle were entirely red, like his wakizashi tied to his right thigh, and while having no guard it made up by being longer than his usual bladed weapon. The katana had a belt to tie it to his back, and the belt was a bit loose so he could sheathe and unsheathe it without dislocating his shoulder.
With determination and his new gear on, Naruto looked at the museum's entrance, atop its large doors a clock signaled it was already midnight. Blonsky and his crew were currently flying over the museum with the elder soldier shouting, "Knock them dead, kid!" while taking pictures with his cell-phone and sending them to a certain girl, "Heh, Wanda's gonna be happy for her late birthday gift." He then threw a line for Naruto to put the suitcase in so Blonsky kept his stuff safe.
Naruto even took off his cap, with the metal plate of his old headband on it. Without the cap he looked like a character from Metal Gear. Inside the cap was the lace of his old headband protector, which he tied up to his forehead. He didn't want the metal plate to be damaged, with the slash it had it could break rather easily if he wasn't careful, but he felt the need to have something on his forehead. It gave him that familiar feeling of doing something he knew, that he was familiar with, a habit he couldn't shake off and that made him feel at ease. Though, in all honesty, he looked a bit more like he'd be a new character for Metal Gear now.
Our mercenary ninja walked up to the entrance, he was on time and the place was empty. The guards, of course, were immediately baffled at seeing a helicopter and a kid in some fancy armor with swords appear before them. However, they knew who the kid was from his fight earlier that day with the Titans, not to mention they had been updated on what had happened and were ordered, by the mayor no less, to let Naruto do what he needed to save Pam. Even if this situation was freaking them out, they felt a bit at ease that someone who could take on super mercs was around.
Every visitor was home and all bystanders were little to none due to the lack of security provided by the night on the city. So, save for Blonsky patrolling the area, the guards who were nervous about an incoming attack, and whoever might show up to greet Naruto, the streets deserted. Once entering the museum it was pretty much the same, save for the fact the guards in it, being warned by Naruto, were looking around for anything suspicious, even if they felt like running away. However, that didn't mean they were the only resources around, the police was also looking for Pamela and the Titans, not to mention some patrols had the place surrounded at safe distances to avoid triggering any alarms for whoever would greet Uzumaki Naruto.
So far, Naruto didn't sense any form of life… Until a large black portal appeared in the large main hall of the museum to drop out someone! The guards, shocked as they were, pulled out tazers and aimed them at the small figure that started to raise from the ground. "Ouch… Stupid Raven, she didn't have to throw me like that after that joke…" complained the small figure of a… a… a fourteen year old boy?
This kid wasn't human, or not entirely, however. He had green skin, pointy elfish ears and short green spiky hair. The small boy wore a white uniform with red covering his front torso, back and acting as if it were shorts, he had purple combat shoes, gray gloves with sharp claw-like ends in each finger and a gray belt (A combo of the Teen Titans uniform with the Young Justice color pattern).
He then looked at Naruto with a smirk, "Hey, you're that guy who I'm supposed to bite his head off, right?" the kid's grin then changed, his teeth morphing into sharp fangs, "I'm a vegetarian, but a little meat sounds good for a midnight snack."
Naruto dead-panned, "Man… you… your jokes suck." He stated bluntly, even the guards had to admit the one-liner was lame.
The green boy shrugged with a cocky smirk, "Heh, serves to break the ice for me. Haters gonna hate and all that jazz." The boy then aimed a finger at Naruto, "And, you and I have a little game."
"Yeah, what is this 'game' you and that other green girl are talking about?" the blond asked, scratching the back of his head.
The younger kid hooked a thumb to himself, "A fair fight, one-on-one, you against each of us until either you break or get to that girl…However…" the fanged smirk returned, "If some cop, or one of those soldiers working in your organization butts in, we'll have to kill your girlfriend."
"She's not my… Well, not that I wouldn't mind if she were…" Naruto started by being defensive and even a bit embarrassed, but when the idea sunk he couldn't say he didn't like it as he thought it well with a hand on his chin… Damn those green, long, shapely legs of Pamela's.
And the green elfish boy agreed, "Dude, I know. Geesh, and you gotta guard her… There's someone I wouldn't mind having to look around all day long." The kid said with a slight blush and a perverted, fanged smirk before shaking his head, "Anyways… Damn, I'm still supposed to fight you and either eat you up or turn you to the boss. And I wanted to ask for some tips…"
Naruto shook his head with a sigh of dread, "Can't say I'm good for advice… My own experience… Let's just say my closest time to a woman was when she cut my cheek and enjoyed the taste of my blood."
The green kid winced at the thought, "That's messed up… Real messed up…"
Before both could continue talking, one of the guards spoke, "Aren't you two going to fight?"
Both kids snapped their fingers, "Oh, right." They said in perfect unison.
Naruto, even when having a brand new katana, got into his basic fighting stance while the green kid simply charged at him. The fanged boy soon jumped up, and to Naruto's utter shock morphed into an enormous green T-Rex. The first thought in Naruto's head was to let out a loud, "Oh fuck me!" before rolling away from the supposedly extinct animal's enormous feet. Several guards, knowing some tazers and flashing lights wouldn't help with a prehistoric reptile, took the wise choice of making themselves scarce.
Once Naruto managed to get up to his own feet he saw as the former boy, now dinosaur, ran at him with his enormous maw opened to either swallow him whole or separate his torso from his legs in one clean bite. A rancid breath that smelled a lot like expired tofu arrived to the blond boy's nostrils as he spread his arms to his sides. The green oversized reptile was soon very shocked when Naruto grabbed its jaws and kept them open while pushing him back.
While the big, green Godzilla wannabe was being kept at bay, the changeling noticed that the blond had struggled to stop him. Due to his (current) bigger size and greater weight the dinosaur was able to push the now smaller blond a few yards back, making the merc skid to a half. If it had lips right now the dinosaur would have smiled as it put a foot forward and pushed the blond back before lifting his skull up and shaking his head wildly with Naruto still grabbing the very sharp set of teeth to keep them away from his face.
Naruto's back got introduced to another very hard object for who knows how many times this day alone. He had crashed, guessing by the times he was hit and the number of times he listened to collapsing debris, through five walls. From the museum's main hall he had been introduced to its Civil War exposition in record time. He was currently laying on a broken bench, his back still killing him and now a green ox stampeding towards him.
Naruto forced himself to stand up, but a sudden crack and a powerful surge of pain made him wince as he knew one of his vertebrae was about to break. However, there was an stampeding creature charging at him… and an unsettling idea came to his mind. As best as he could he turned and let the ox hit him, right where his back had made him feel a hundred years older. A satisfying crack and an actually enjoyable feel of rearranging bones was what sent the blond flying to the ceiling. But with a better back the blond maneuvered his body midair, put both his feet on the ceiling and with a simple jump sent himself back to the ground.
He landed on his own two feet in a ceremonious manner, smirking widely at the changeling, "Man, that certainly helped a lot!" the kitsune said, stretching and enjoying the way his back was feeling. The ox tilted his head to the side, wondering what was up with this crazy doofus. But the changeling decided it was better to have his meal and prove his worth to his team by charging as a triceratops at the blond.
Our smirking hero flipped over the new dinosaur and landed on top of it, had he his cap he could have parodied any cowboy movie. The changeling wasn't happy and trashed around, like a true rodeo animal. Chakra helped a lot to keep the blond glued to his enemy as the green skinned kid morphed into everything he could think off to shake the soldier off and sent him flying into another wall. Mannequins and canons were turned into pieces of trash by the following animals: a bull, a whale, a wolf, a horse, a lion, a tiger, a raptor, a Komodo dragon, a rhinoceros and even an ostrich.
Finally tired, the changeling morphed once again into a T-Rex and, with the blond on his back, jumped up to smash his back into the ceiling. As soon as he saw this Naruto flipped with his back on the green dinosaur's back with his legs and feet aimed up. The changeling expected the sound of his huge form squashing the blond like a squishy bug, but he didn't expect to be instantly sent back to the ground face-first. Whatever this whiskered merc had for breakfast wasn't normal. The landing on his own lower jaw made small tears come to the green boy's eyes as he morphed to his usual form and rubbed his chin.
Naruto landed beside him, now in his fighting stance, "Are you sure you can fight?" the blond asked curiously, "All you do is move around like an animal. You don't even have basic combat moves. If it weren't for your transformations, I'd have easily beaten you."
The changeling's eyes snapped wide open, "What did you say?!" he snapped, punching the ground hard enough to leave some cracks on it.
Mercenaries could be honest, "You can't fight, at all." the whiskered young man said, rubbing the back of his head in a completely uninterested manner, "I've fought animals before… You simply took me by surprise by being able to change into several forms, but I've faced some guys who could do that, too." he then rubbed his chin, "In all seriousness… I should probably stop being shocked when I fight someone who can pull something crazy outta their ass every second." He then looked at the changeling, "But since you can only change into animals… I'm sorry, but this is gonna be easy."
The changeling's eyes were dangerously narrow, his nostrils widened to get hot air out as he hunched, clearly ready to lung and pummel this bastard, "I am not an animal, nor am I a man… I'm a beast!"
The kid charged, showing that both his real nails and gloves were clawed by trying to slice Naruto's neck wide open. The blond parried the blow by using his arm to block the green kid's forearm while mid-swing. He pushed the changeling back, who charged again with his other arm. Naruto parried the blow again, but made a quick step forward to grab the boy by his neck and trip him, forcing him down and slamming the changeling's head to the ground.
The younger of the animalistic fighters gasped in pain before growling, "You bastard…" he said while grabbing Naruto's arm, still holding his neck, and trying to pry it off with little to no success.
Naruto crouched beside the kid while still keeping him pinned down, effortlessly, to the ground with one arm. "What's with you?" the blond asked with some clear concern, "At first you were all chill, cool… and even if your jokes were lame, they were funny lame…"
"Guess what, freak… I'm not human at all." The green kid almost shouted as he tried harder to take Naruto's hand off his neck. "I am Beastboy, the name says already that I am a monster, so get your hands off me, you damn dirty human."
A blank look appeared on Naruto's face, "I'm not human."
"W… What now?" this certainly shocked the green kid... then again, the guy had stopped a T-Rex mid-charge more than once. "Then, what the Hell are you?"
Shrugging was Naruto's best answer, "I don't know. I'm not even sure myself of what I am now. But you are right… I am a freak." The blond shrugged again, "Never really let it bother me now… I mean, I lived it, hated it, and more than once wanted to let it all out… Then, I met someone like you… another freak…" Naruto's face and voice turned somber, "He tried to kill me, he tried to kill everyone around him… But I couldn't just let him do that, it felt wrong… So…" at this, Naruto lifted Beastboy by his throat, and held his belt with his free hand, all while putting his face closer to the green boy's and narrowing his eyes, "I beat him senseless."
Beastboy was thrown high into the air, screaming at the top of his lungs as he spun all the way up and down as if he were trapped in a washing machine, before Naruto reeled a leg back and brought it right up, using the flexibility earned by training along Rose and Wanda to lift his foot above his head. The kick had been more than enough to send Beastboy through the holes he had created in the walls by throwing Naruto, back to the main hall. Naruto jumped right after him, knowing that while he'd have to give an explanation for this damage to the mayor, the curators and Slade, he had to beat this kid no matter the cost.
He had to move and find where the kid had landed, demand some answers about Pam's whereabouts and beat him senseless, but as soon as he stepped into the lobby, he was greeted by a now very familiar T-Rex. And like last time, Naruto managed to catch its lower and upper jaw and keeping them away from biting half his upper body off. The large dinosaur was pushing him back, but it was Naruto's turn to do something. Before Beastboy could react, Naruto gave a step forward and pushed the changeling's mouth up. The change of balance caused the changeling to stagger a bit before his head fell down where Naruto waited for it. The blond closed his arms around the T-Rex's maw, keeping it closed, and struggled against the large reptile.
"One good thing about being a freak…" Naruto growled, before a large smirk was plastered all over his face, "It's that I can do this."
At those words crimson, ethereal energy erupted from Naruto. A dark, foul power emanated from the blond, and even Beastboy felt it through his every cell. Now the green changeling knew one thing…Fear like he had never felt before rushed through him. The blond was supposed to be a joke in the super powered community: just some random merc who was hired to try to protect a dead cause; a new punching bag for every member in Beastboy's team; the guy who would have is hopes shattered. Suddenly he knew they were all wrong. They were all very, very wrong. And he was going to be able to experience why.
Naruto spun on his heels, dragging the large dinosaur with him and, to every nearby observer's shock, lifted him from the ground. He spun around just once before throwing Beastboy right through the front gate of the museum. The changeling finally morphed to his original form after he crashed through the entrance, bounced on the steps and landed on the streets where every police officer who had heard the commotion had hurried up to and aimed their guns at the green, half-conscious kid.
Inside the museum, Naruto took a deep breath as the demonic chakra in him stopped pouring out of his every pore. He then stepped outside, where the green kid was already being cuffed and put on one of those collars that restrain someone's powers, the same kind Connor had on before he was broke out of jail.
The officers turned to look in shocked silence at the blond, before he spoke up, "Can I talk to him for a bit?" he was obviously aiming a finger at Beastboy.
"Tch, whatever…" the kid said with his mood soured by his loss, "If you need to know where your girlfriend's at, you're wasting your time."
"Figured as much." Naruto said with a sigh, already knowing Pam's location wouldn't be given so easily, But he had a few more questions, "Why did you break those three out of jail?" Naruto asked, leaving Beastboy baffled to say the least, "You don't seem to like them, they don't seem to like you, nobody seems to like each other. So, why would you all go through all this trouble?"
Beastboy looked at Naruto for a good five seconds, sizing him up, before answering, "We all wanted to see who was the best. And to do so, you were the perfect punching bag… Guess I ended with the short straw." He then looked at the blond, as if he were struggling to get something out, before speaking as calm as he could, "Listen… about being a freak… What was that all about?"
Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and gave the kid a simple, warning gaze, "It's all in the past, and that's where it stays." He said to make it clear he'd keep things to himself.
Beastboy growled, "Fine, be that way, you whisker-faced bastard." He then threw his head back, sighing loud and deeply, "But… Damn it, you piss me off so much…" he tried to get his act together, before finally speaking clearly, "The next of us will be waiting for you in Gotham's docks. Since I lost, you should get there, or else the show will be delayed, and the boss loves when it's scheduled as he planned it."
"What show?"
As soon as Naruto asked that, his answer arrived as a large zeppelin flew over him and the cops, several spotlights illuminating the city. The zeppelin also had enormous screens attached to both sides, showing images of Naruto's fight with Beastboy. And it wasn't only on the flying airship. Every TV in Gotham had turned on to life, waking the citizens and showing them the fight in high definition. Then the screens turned to show Naruto and the police of Gotham with whatever camera was around did a close up to the blond kitsune's perplexed face, which wasn't his best at the moment, mind you, because he looked like a pants-on-head moron.
Sadly for Naruto and whatever popularity he could have gotten in this strange event, the image froze like that while a creepy, gruff voice spoke, "Greetings, Gotham. And welcome to another chapter of the Dark Hour show. Our newest guest is Uzumaki Naruto, a member of a very efficient private military corporation, and the one my Titans want to see broken by their hands… Speaking of which… Beastboy, you better enjoy your stay on prison, because your punishment for failure is waiting for you."
Said green kid's eyes widened, "Wait a second! This is my first fault! You can't do this to me! I did my best… I… I haven't made a mistake in so long! Even the others didn't get punished for going to jail today!"
"You know the consequences." The voice replied, speaking from everywhere at once while Beastboy's words were heard all around every TV in Gotham.
Seeing the changeling's head hanging loud, Naruto aimed a finger at where he, correctly, deduced the nearest camera was, "And what will happen when I beat your other Titans?!" he shouted, to make sure everyone heard him.
The voice pondered for a few seconds, "In that minimal chance you call hope… Well, I guess it might be time to bring in a special guest for you to fight. If you make it interesting, I might even fight you."
"Then it's a deal." Naruto said, "I'll beat every single person you send my way, and then it's you and me. Man to coward."
"Coward, you say?" the voice asked with some dark merriment. "Kid, I am the night. I am the darkness. I am someone more powerful than you could ever think off. I am Batman."
"You're a Bat-hole!" Naruto replied by giving the camera the finger, and even if it was a show about beating Naruto to death, the finger was censored.
The voice snorted, speaking in merriment despite feeling irritated at the boy's attitude, "Heh, cocky little brat… Fine, be that way, it'll be more entertaining when you're broken." And with that, the audio was cut, all so the arrogant voice could have the last word.
Naruto turned to Beastboy with a fist up, "What happens if I defeat the son of a bitch?"
The green boy was quite surprised, the happy-go-lucky doofus was gone, and now a very angry blond stood before him. Beastboy replied, nonetheless, "Who knows? If you humiliate him enough, he might get obsessed like he does with everything he doesn't like and leave us alone to plan ways to kill you."
A smile crossed Naruto's face, "Well, I can live with that." He then looked at the changeling dead in the eye, smashing one fist into an opened palm, "So, if I beat him, that asshole won't punish you for losing, right?"
The green kid was shocked, but that changed into making him very annoyed "Why do you even care?! You're our target! We want to kill you and that green girl! You shouldn't put your nose where it doesn't belong."
The kitsune scratched the back of his head, "Well… I don't know…" he then smiled at the changeling, rubbing the tip of his nose as he tried to explain himself, "I simply don't like guys like him… Besides…" Naruto's look hardened a bit, he had a laidback smile, and seemed strangely calm while his eyes had a far-off gaze, "You and another guy in your team remind me of some old friends…"
Beastboy groaned, "But we're not your friends, you idiot!"
Naruto chuckled, showing a large, goofy grin that he was infamous for, "I know."
The green kid grunted in annoyance, "Are you trying to piss me off?"
"Maybe."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"What's with the fucking silence?!" Beastboy exploded, trying to charge at the blond, but sadly for him two police officers pulled him back, "You stupid, whisker-faced retard! Once I get outta here I'll show you how I truly fight! I won't even need to be an animal to rip your head off your shoulders! You hear me?! I'll freaking kick your ass!"
Naruto, to every officer's shock, had on a large smile as he waved at Beastboy like they were long time friends, looking relaxed as Hell, "Yeah, I'll be waiting! Next time you might want to try different animals to make it a fairer fight!" A very, VERY loud profanity was cut thanks to the gates of the van being closed. Naruto still had on a very large smile even when he stopped waving. He put his hands on the back of his head, "Well, that was fun… it's been a while since I had someone wanting to kill me… Kinda missed the challenge."
It was official: Naruto was not in as much touch with reality as many would like him to be. But others wouldn't want him to be any other way.
XXXXXX
After a session of rooftop jumping with Emil close behind in the chopper and the police staying at a safe distance due to the threat to Pam's life, Naruto finally arrived at Gotham's ducks, where his next enemy was patiently waiting for him.
Meanwhile, Pamela had successfully made her way off the chair she had been in. It hadn't been easy, but she was currently outside of the room she had been held captive in. Sadly for her, she was atop a very large, abandoned building. And while out of the room meant she was safe, the rest of the building was covered in dirt, trash and had its once white walls peeling off the paint due to the humid air and obvious lack of life. It all had that Silent Hill vibe, no enemies in sight, just that unnerving feeling of being watched by someone or something in a dark and overwhelming empty hall, and the true dread of being alone in a place that seemed to have no escape. All windows were covered by steel curtains, and due to this claustrophobic like state she was put in, she could feel her body weakening. She needed air, fresh air, and some sun, this whole place felt so closed that it was like no fresh air was allowed in…
That's when a terrifying occurrence came to her: there was no ventilation, no way for fresh air to come in. The whole place was sealed tightly, all doors had been closed and didn't even have a keyhole, and despite being quite a spacious hall, she felt that the atmosphere was more oppressive the longer she stood there. If Naruto didn't find her and soon, then…
No. She wasn't going to give up. She knew that her bodyguard wouldn't give up until he found her, so she could at least do something to find him, or at least make sure she could breath until either help arrived or she managed to find a way out. If she at least could find any form of plant life, then it may give her at least some chance to get either more air through those steel curtains or help her get down.
However, one of her assumptions was right, someone was looking at her. A shadow watched in interest while making Pam's experience as dreadful as possible, but feeling some joy whenever the girl found a way out, only to crush it with a booby-trap. But she also wanted that blond guy to find this redhead, if he had beaten Beastboy like that, then he needed to be studied. Whatever he was, it felt similar, even familiar, to what she was.
XXXXXX
And that's my rap!
Now, time for you readers to help with something. Tell me, which one of the Titans would you like to see Naruto fight next? I'm not making a poll, just wanting to see who and why, and then see what I can make out of it. Still, the fights, scenarios and settings are already planned, all I'm giving you is the chronological order in which Naruto will face them.
Man, am I having fun writing this fic! And I can't believe it… Whenever I type for this fic, it feels like I'm a kid again, having fun with my own adventures… When I write my other fics, it's starting to feel like a chore when I have an idea that I know can work, and I try to make it work. But this sort of mindless fun, rather than me experimenting on new possible personalities for Naruto, possible stories nobody ever thought before, or just simply the heck of doing something different, it feels truly fun.
Don't get me wrong, I won't ditch my other fics. I mean that I might get to this one whenever it feels like I'm being asked one too many times to write something and then I need to take a break from. And with some of my fics I either try to think of the perfect idea, try to come up with a perfect storyline, clever comebacks or make things seem cool just to see a perfect fic. This fic is sort of my break from trying to come up with clever, original and satisfying ideas for my other fics. It's like my stress reliever, and so far it's working quite a lot on me.
So, from now onwards, I'll do this with all my fics. Because now I finally remembered what it's like to write not for readers to enjoy a story, but for me to make a story that is both fun to write as it is to read because it was made for the sake of fun.
Swordslinger out!
