A/N And for not posting in so long, here's another chapter for you guys :D

Chapter Four -Neela

"Look at her face,

She's crying, see her disgrace, it's blinding,

I hope you figure it out,

Look at her face,

She's blinded by her mistakes"

-The Coral Sea

"You saw Ray? Ray Barnett?"

I smiled. "The one and only."

Brett looked stupefied. "And they always try to say how big America is."

"It was so weird. I had to tell him... about us and all."

He nodded. "What did he say?"

"Not much." I remembered his expressions of shock but Brett didn't need to know about that. "But he said to say hi and everything..."

"He's going to kill me," Brett said to himself.

"Why? It's me who... he'll be disappointed with." There I had said it. I knew the look that had been in his eyes, knew what it meant. There he was making a new life for himself, bettering his career. And here I was, still in Chicago and accidentally pregnant.

"No-one could ever be disappointed with such a wonderful woman as you Neela. Especially not Ray Barnett," Brett said kindly.

"You didn't see the look on his face."

It was nothing I hadn't gotten used to. My parents were barely talking to me, a child born out of wed-lock was simply out of order. People at work couldn't look me in the face when they were talking to me. They whispered when I walked past. But I'd hoped that Ray, maybe, could understand.

I should have known better.

"Anyway, we better get upstairs for this appointment right Doctor Neela?" Brett asked, glancing at his watch.

I grinned at his use of my nickname. "Yeah I guess so."

We crossed the road to the hospital where I was about to have my 5 month check-up. I'd decided to have all my scans and things at Mercy rather than County, at least that way the gossip could be kept to a minimum. Brett always came with me to any appointment as well. For moral support. He asked so many questions it was beginning to get on my nerves but he was also so cheerful that I couldn't help but be cheerful too.

He loped up the corridor while I hurried along behind him, trying unsuccessfully to keep pace with his long legs. We got to the lift doors just as they were opening.

"Barnett!"

My eyes widened as Ray, dressed in a dark grey suit, stepped out of the lift. He smiled sheepishly. "Um hey Neela... Brett... What are you guys doing here?"

Brett and I looked at each other, "We... I... what..." I stammered.

"God man, I could ask you that! And why the hell didn't you call us? It's been too long man," Brett said, pulling Ray into a hug.

"It's good to see you Brett. Well I didn't want to tell you... until I knew for sure I mean. I'm here for an interview."

"An interview... at Mercy?" I said, "You're moving back to Chicago?"

He nodded, "Well, if I get this job... hopefully."

"Of course you'll get it," Brett said with a grin, "You're the best doctor out there. Apart from Doctor Neela of course. And I guess maybe Luka's up there too... and Abby and..."

"Yeah I get the point Brett," Ray said, laughing.

"But yeah, if you're back in Chicago, it'll be just like old times!"

Ray and I glanced at each other. We both knew it wouldn't be like old times. So much was different, so much had happened. Brett was naïve enough to believe none of it mattered but of course it did.

"So um what are you two doing here?"

"I have my five month scan," I said, smiling.

"Oh right, well I'll leave you's to it... I'll phone or something, if I get this."

Brett shook his head, "No way man, don't think you're getting away that easily. You have got to come round to mine tonight, ok?"

"Well I... yeah," Ray smiled, "That'd be great. Just like old times."

As we went up in the lift Brett chattered away about how amazing it was that Ray was back. I kept quiet. I didn't know how to react to the thought that Ray Barnett might be moving back to Chicago. I was just getting my life together without him... how on earth would I cope with a new life that involved him. Before I knew it tears were running down my face.

Brett pulled me into a hug, "Look I know it's gonna be tough. There's a hell of a lot of history to get over. But you two are... there's something special about you two. If any two people can get passed all you've been through, it's you and Ray."

"But how can I be around him, knowing he's disappointed in me... oh god maybe if I wasn't pregnant he'd..."

"Stop that right now. This is something amazing Neela, you're going to have a baby! And me and Abby and Luka and everyone can see how brilliant that is going to be for you and everyone else. And I'll take ten bets that Ray can see that too. Just... stop worrying, and start enjoying."

I smiled up at him, sniffling still. "You're right. But Ray..."

"Is going to be around, and there's nothing either of us can do about that. Look I'm pretty sure I can still read that guy and I'm pretty sure that this move is not just a coincidence. I saw how he looked at you, how he has always looked at you."

"I can't even think about that right now. Being pregnant is hard enough, never mind still... still being in love with him."

Brett smiled. "At least you're admitting it this time. Look, don't worry about it, don't think about it. Just... see how everything turns out."

"You're not allowed to meddle," I said, looking at him sternly.

"Would I do that?" he asked, trying to look innocent.

"You would. And so would Abby. God... I need to tell Abby."


A/N reviews would be nice!