Chapter 4: Plans for the Future
"I will not have this!" Mr. White, a member of Eastland's Board of Trustees, furiously shouted out in Mr. Bradley's office. "This school has always held nothing but the highest moral standards for its students! I will not have a student walking Eastland's halls, going to classes, and interacting with other students who is carrying a baby out of wedlock! Just think what a terrible precedent it would set for all the other girls who attend school here!"
"I agree with Mr. White," Mr. Hawkins, another member, announced.
"So do I," said Mr. Hurst.
"Gentlemen, with all due respect, this is not the 1950s," Mr. Bradley told them, trying desperately hard to stay calm despite the fact that he was boiling with anger inside. "We don't just send pregnant teenagers away like we used to. Nowadays, when a young girl is in trouble, we take a more humane approach. We get involved. We help her."
"And where precisely is that kind of 'help' leading us?" asked Mr. Collins. "Teenage pregnancies are on the rise in this country, and I think that in part, it's because of that so-called 'humane' approach we're taking. By allowing a pregnant teenager to stay in her regular school, surrounded by her classmates, I think we're only sending other teenage girls the message that it's not shameful to be pregnant out of wedlock and at their age – which it certainly is! I feel for young Miss Ramsey. I really do. However, we cannot take only her well-being into account. We must also take into consideration what is best for the Eastland student body as a whole. Having a pregnant student in their midst will send these girls the wrong message."
"With respect, Mr. Collins, I could not disagree more strongly," said Mr. Bradley. "We all know that Dorothy Ramsey has done absolutely nothing wrong. The only thing this girl is guilty of is walking through her own front door during summer vacation and getting sexually assaulted. Raped. She may be pregnant, which is tragic, but she had no choice in the matter. And now you all want to punish this girl after everything she's already been through by forcing her to give up the education she's receiving here; her friends; her home, for something she is not even responsible for in the first place? For something she is the victim of? Is Eastland really that heartless of a place, that we shoot our own wounded like that? What kind of message would that really be sending out to the rest of the Eastland student body? 'Girls, if you are ever attacked, this school is going to punish you for crimes you didn't commit and abandon you whenever you need help.' That's the message they're going to hear from us if we abandon Dorothy Ramsey now. Is that who we really are, gentlemen? Are we really that cruel?"
"We cannot think solely about what is best for Miss Ramsey," argued Mr. Hurst. "I am sorry for what she has been through. We all are. But allowing her to stay could not only be harmful to other students; it could be harmful to Eastland's reputation as a whole. It could be sending a message that Eastland is a school with no values; that promotes teenage pregnancy. And if that is what people end up thinking about Eastland, it could cause irreparable damage. Parents could decide that they want to put their daughters in other schools. We could lose countless financial contributions. Allowing Miss Ramsey to stay could spell disaster for Eastland Academy."
"Alfred, if we are more concerned about money and profit and our reputation than we are about doing the right thing, then Eastland Academy is already in the midst of disaster," John Hamilton, the Head Trustee, chimed in. The other trustees were a bunch of old, gray-haired, wealthy and privileged white men, and while Mr. Hamilton was an old, wealthy white man himself, he'd come from a vastly different background than the others. They'd all inherited their wealth, whereas he had built his own business from the ground up and had spent about half his life struggling to get his family out of poverty. He knew far more about life in the real world than his counterparts who'd always been sheltered. "Gentlemen, I'm going to tell you a story," he continued. "Many years ago, a little sixteen-year-old girl went out on a date with a boy at her high school whom she'd had a huge crush on. He took her out to dinner and then to a drive-in movie. Then he drove her out to a place much like Skyview Ridge Road, which the kids in my neighborhood also called 'Make-Out Mountain.' And he did a lot more to her besides just making out with her that night, and he did it without her permission, if you all get my drift. The next day, he bragged to all his buddies at school about how he'd scored with her, and the whole school made fun of her. Everybody believed him over her. They believed she was easy. They relentlessly taunted her. They made her excruciating inner-pain a million times worse than it already was. In the end, she couldn't take it. She dropped out of school the next year; never finished her high school education. And it wasn't just silly, immature kids that bought into the lie. Adults did, too. The whole town believed that she was a loose girl with no values, and that's how they treated her. The way she suffered was beyond heartbreaking." After a long pause, Mr. Hamilton told them, "That girl was my baby sister.
"Ever since I was a boy, that's been the way of the world: when a girl gets raped, we never punish her rapist; we punish her. I have never understood why that is. Maybe my sister was unfairly punished decades ago, but it's not going to be that way now. We are not going to punish Miss Ramsey the way my sister was punished. We are not going to turn this girl away and rob her of her education like my sister got robbed of hers. Is that clear, everyone?"
Unable to say anything to defend themselves, all the trustees murmured a simple "Yes," and then they turned around and walked out of Mr. Bradley's office.
The instant Mr. Bradley's office door opened, Mrs. Garrett swiftly took a couple of steps back and put her hands behind her back. She tried to be cordial and nod hello to them all, but they didn't even take notice of her. The other trustees were too busy grumbling amongst themselves, and Mr. Hamilton had his mind on his sister and was too lost in his own thoughts to notice. Once they were gone, Mrs. Garrett walked inside, still with her hands behind her back.
"Oh, hi, Edna. I've got some good news."
"I know!" Edna cried out while beaming a smile.
"Oh, I see," Mr. Bradley chuckled as he folded his arms and leaned back against his desk. "Did the school dietician have her ear at my door by any chance?"
Edna shook her head and told him, "No." Then she brought her hands out from behind her back, revealing a glass in the left one. "She had this at your door!"
Mr. Bradley laughed out loud, and then he said, "It's alright, Edna. I don't blame you. Had it been me, I would've done the same thing."
Edna laughed at herself in that moment, and after setting the glass down on Mr. Bradley's desk, she told him more seriously, "You were wonderful."
"Wonderful my foot. I was drowning. I was dying in here, that is, until Mr. Hamilton came along and saved my neck."
She shook her head and said, "I heard everything you said. Believe me, you put up a valiant fight. You really were incredible."
"No, Mr. Hamilton was incredible. I always knew he was a tough old geyser, but I never realized what a tender heart he had underneath."
"I know. And anyway, I want you to know how much I appreciate the way you've stood by Tootie through all of this. You don't know what a load off my mind it is to know that she'll be allowed to stay throughout her pregnancy."
"It's only right. Not allowing Tootie to stay at Eastland would be cruel. This school is her home away from home, and you and the girls are her family. And it's obvious that Tootie needs her family now more than ever."
"Yes, she does. And speaking of Tootie, I'd better go call her and her parents and give them all the good news."
"Alright, Edna. I'll see you later."
"Goodbye," Edna told him with a smile and a wave as she started walking out the door.
"Oh, Edna?" Mr. Bradley called after her in that moment, and she turned around. Then he picked up the glass and said, "Don't forget this."
Mrs. Garrett laughed at herself once again as she took the glass from him, and then she headed for the lounge.
Since Tootie and her parents were uncertain if she'd be allowed to stay at Eastland or not, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey had seen no sense in letting her go back to Peekskill with Mrs. Garrett when she left Washington, D.C. a week ago. During the past week, Mrs. Garrett, the girls, Tootie, and her parents had all been on pins and needles waiting for Mr. Bradley's superiors to decide whether or not Tootie would be allowed to remain at Eastland. Mrs. Garrett was now more than happy to start telling everyone the good news that Friday afternoon.
Mrs. Garrett, Natalie, Jo, and Blair were all there to meet Tootie at the airport the following afternoon, and then they all came back to Eastland and took it easy for the rest of that Saturday, with the exception of all the cooking and cleaning they had to do in the kitchen and cafeteria, of course. Once they were all finished cleaning up after supper that evening, Mrs. Garrett turned in early because of the cold she had started coming down with earlier that day while the girls went into their room to really talk to each other and catch up with Tootie.
"Tootie, I know we've all asked you this already, but how are you doing?" asked Natalie once they'd all sat down at their big desk table together. "I mean, how are you really doing since you found out the news? The truth."
"The truth is, I…I really don't know how I'm doing. I just have so many different emotions going on inside of me. It's like a great big roller coaster ride inside. One minute, I'm still feeling as shocked and stunned as I felt at the doctor's office when I first found out I was pregnant. The next minute, I think about everything my body is going to go through, not to mention my mind, and I get really scared. The minute after that, I think about how my parents forced this decision on me without letting me have any say so at all, even though this is my life and my baby, and I get so furious. I think I get that emotion most often. I still can't believe my parents would treat me like that; force me into a corner that way. It makes me so angry the way that they just don't seem to care about how I feel; how they only seem to want the option that makes their lives easiest for them." It was true that in the beginning, Tootie's father had been much more supportive of the idea of her keeping the baby; however, it was blatantly obvious to Tootie that by the time her parents had the "compromise" talk with her and Mrs. Garrett, he'd caved in order to make peace with his wife – and make his own life with her easier.
Jo, who was sitting beside Tootie, put her arm around her shoulders and said, "I hear ya, Tootie. If I were in your shoes right now, I'd be just as pissed off as you are. With all due respect to your parents, they're really a couple of selfish creeps."
"Tootie, I know you've made it crystal clear how you feel about abortion," said Natalie. "Personally, I've always felt the same way…until now. Until it actually hit me this close to home. I understand you wanting to listen to your maternal instincts and take care of your baby, but speaking as your best friend, I really don't want to see you get hurt any more than you've already been hurt. Tootie, are absolutely certain about not getting an abortion? I for one wouldn't blame you if you felt you couldn't go through with the pregnancy."
Tootie let out a long sigh, and then she responded, "I've been over and over and over this in my mind a million times since the doctor first told me I was pregnant. I know that what I'm going to be going through these next six and a half months is going to be the hardest experience of my life. And I won't lie. I am really, really scared. But no matter how many times I run it all through my mind and keep asking myself what I should do, I always come up with the same answer. I know that at the end of the day, if I ended my baby's life just to spare myself pain, I could never live with myself."
Blair looked into Tootie's eyes then and put her hand on top of Tootie's and said, "We're with you, Tootie. If bringing this baby into the world is what you need to do, then we're with you."
"Absolutely," Jo agreed.
"You know me, Tootie. We're best friends for life. We're sisters. Of course I'm with you," Natalie assured her.
"Thanks, you guys. I just wish Mom could be as supportive as you and Mrs. Garrett have been."
"Tootie, we already know how your mom and dad feel about this. We know that your mom hasn't exactly made it a secret that she wants you to get an abortion. And we know that in the beginning, your dad wanted to help you with the baby, but that he and your mom eventually came to a compromise and said you had to give the baby up. I hope you don't mind my asking; I can't help but be curious. What do you want to do?" Blair asked.
Tootie was silent for the next several moments before she finally replied, "I don't know. I'm so mixed up. I'm so confused. I know for certain that I'm not getting an abortion no matter what my mother says. As for this whole adoption thing, I just don't know what to think right now. Part of me thinks that it's really what's best, both for me and the baby. I can't take care of a baby at fourteen. I know that. And besides, I don't want this baby to have to have a grandmother who hates it," Tootie said dismally, and the girls' silence in the next few seconds said it all. She'd had several conversations with them over the phone while she'd been in D.C. and she'd told them all about what she'd heard her mother say. Now, the pained looks on all their faces clearly expressed what words couldn't. "But then again," Tootie continued, "the idea of giving my baby away to total strangers really frightens me. I know there are a lot of good people out there who want to adopt. I know your adoptive parents have always been good to you, Natalie. But still, I don't like the idea of just handing my baby over to people I don't even know. At least if Mom and Dad would let me keep the baby, I'd have the peace of mind of knowing that my baby's going to be safe and well cared for."
"I know it's hard not to worry about it, Tootie, but try not to. Adoption agencies don't give babies to just anybody. You wouldn't believe what my parents had to go through to adopt me."
"I know, Nat, and I keep trying to remind myself of that. But you remember me telling you about Earl's daughters, Melissa and Rebecca Brown? How I used to play with them a lot when I was a little kid?"
"Yeah," said Jo.
"Well Melissa and Rebecca aren't his biological daughters. His wife Elaine couldn't have kids so they adopted. Now Elaine's saying that the reason she eventually kicked him out of the house was because he was abusing all of them. I try not to let myself think about it too much. If I allow myself to keep dwelling on it all the time, I'll only drive myself crazy, and like I said before, I know that there's no way I can take care of a baby at age fourteen. But no matter how hard I try to just accept the fact that I have to give the baby up and not think about all my fears, it's hard not to. The truth is, in the end, it didn't matter what Earl Brown had to go through in order to adopt. It didn't matter how closely the adoption agency looked into his background. He was still allowed to adopt, not just once but twice. Earl fooled everybody. He fooled the adoption agency, my entire neighborhood, everyone at my church, even my own parents. Everybody loved him. Everybody adored him. He was a pillar of the community. He made financial contributions to my church all the time. He donated to charities. He was everybody's best friend, and we all were convinced he was a terrific husband and father. But behind closed doors, he was an abuser and a rapist. It just gets me to thinking, 'How many other Earl Browns are there out there?' What if Earl Brown's adoption of Melissa and Rebecca wasn't an isolated incident? What if there are other people out there, just as terrible and abusive as he is, who are trying to adopt and get away with adopting an innocent child just like Earl did? How many abusers manage to fool the system?" After a long pause, Tootie somberly asked, "What if somebody like Earl winds up adopting my baby?"
Jo immediately responded by tightening her arm around Tootie's shoulders, and then she told her, "Hey, Tootie, that is not going to happen. Your baby's going to be just fine."
"Tootie, I promise you, my mom and dad had to go through hell and high water in order to adopt me. It is not that easy to fool the system the way Earl Brown did. There may be an Earl Brown or two around out there trying to adopt, but the vast majority of the people who want to adopt really are good people like my parents."
"Natalie's right, Tootie," Blair chimed in. "I'm certain that what happened with Earl Brown is a very rare thing. Adoption agencies are extremely thorough. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
Tootie rose from her seat then and said with tears in her eyes, "You guys don't get it because you're not the one who's pregnant. This baby isn't a part of any of you and you aren't the ones carrying it so it's not your concern. It is a part of me, though. I'm the one who's carrying it and I'm the one who's responsible for it. As long as there is any chance that someone like Earl could end up adopting my baby, no matter how small that chance is, I can never be at peace inside. I'll be terrified for the rest of this pregnancy of putting my baby into the hands of a rapist. I'll be terrified of that for as long as I live. And I will always hate my parents for being so selfish and putting me in this position in the first place!" she cried out, and then she broke down into sobs. The girls knew that mood swings were to be expected, but still, when they saw it happen to Tootie, they weren't exactly sure what to do to help her.
Natalie, Blair, and Jo huddled around her as she cried for the next couple of minutes until finally, Blair said, "Tootie, why don't you just lie down and try to relax for a while, huh?"
"That's a good idea," Natalie agreed.
"Wait a minute, Tootie. Before you do, I have a suggestion. I've been thinkin' here lately that you probably shouldn't use the top bunk in case you tripped and fell while you were trying to climb on top of it. And I know how Nat always complains about wakin' up in the middle of the night and feelin' like she's in a coffin, so instead of switching bunks with her, why don't you switch beds with me? It'll probably be safer that way."
"Thanks, Jo. I really appreciate that."
"No problem."
"Why don't we all clear out of here for a little while so Tootie can get some rest?" Blair suggested, and Nat and Jo agreed, so they all said goodbye to Tootie and left.
While Tootie rested upstairs, Natalie and Jo watched a little TV in the lounge and Blair sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria reading a chapter of a Harlequin romance novel she'd begun the weekend before.
However, what was in that chapter was a complete surprise that not only blindsided her, but made her furious. She was suddenly so outraged and disgusted by what she read that she let out a scream of frustration, got up and stomped through the cafeteria and the kitchen to the outside, and she threw the book into the dumpster with all her strength.
In that next moment, Blair looked up at the stars and moon above and yelled at God, "Where's Tootie's knight?!"
"What are you talking about?" Jo's voice startled her from behind. When Jo had heard Blair's frustrated scream in the cafeteria, she left the lounge and followed her outside to see what was going on.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. It's that stupid Harlequin romance novel I was reading. This girl was in love with this wealthy sculptor all her life, but he was engaged to someone else. Well anyway, her sister ended up getting pregnant by her high school sweetheart who she was really in love with, and when he found out she was having his baby, he married her. Right before they left for their honeymoon, she started going on about how he rescued her and the baby from being alone and how he was her knight in shining armor. It just made me sick! How come in a dumb Harlequin romance novel, a grown, adult woman can have sex of her own free will, get pregnant, and then have the baby's father 'rescue' her and her baby and be 'her knight in shining armor' while in the real world, an innocent fourteen-year-old girl gets raped and then gets pregnant and doesn't have anybody to rescue her?! I was just asking God where Tootie's knight in shining armor got off to. How come a stupid, shallow character in a book gets a knight when she needs one and Tootie doesn't?"
"I don't know, Blair," Jo sighed. "You know what makes me maddest of all?"
"What?"
"How helpless I feel. How powerless I am to do anything to help Tootie myself. You see, I have all these other responsibilities I have to worry about. My mom has really busted her butt all these years to put me through Eastland, and I know she expects me to finish college too. The whole neighborhood does. I'm the first person in my neighborhood to get to go to college, so it's like when I start college next year, I'll be takin' my mom and the rest of the neighborhood along with me. I know they're all countin' on me and I can't let 'em down. But if I only had myself to worry about, I'd forget about tryin' to go to college next year and just get a job and a place of my own and I'd take care of Tootie's baby myself so she wouldn't have to worry. It's just that Mom's invested too much of herself into me graduating from Eastland and getting a college degree someday. I couldn't do that to her."
"Jo, you make it sound like you have to apologize for going to college next year. That's nothing you have to be sorry about, regardless of Tootie's situation. And maybe your mom has been working really hard all this time to send you to Eastland, but that's nothing you have to feel guilty about or beat yourself up over like I know you do inside. Your mother's just doing her job. Parents are supposed to do everything they can to give their children the best possible future, Jo. The fact that your mother is simply living up to her parental responsibilities is nothing for you to personally feel ashamed of. I wish you'd stop beating yourself up over that. And even though I know you feel you owe it to your mother to do the best you can at Eastland and at college someday, don't just do it all for her and the rest of your neighborhood. Do it for yourself too, because it's something that you want. You matter too, you know. You matter just as much as your mother and everybody else does."
"Wow, Blair. I don't know what to say. That's really great advice. When did you turn into Mrs. Garrett?"
"Well, I wouldn't say that I've necessarily turned into Mrs. Garrett. It's just that I've always noticed how hard you are on yourself and how you beat yourself up all the time because of how hard your mother works to send you to Eastland. It's rather obvious you have a real guilt complex and I hate to see it. You are a good, kind, hardworking person and you deserve good things. I hope you know that."
"Blair, stay right there and don't move. I'm gonna go get Mrs. G. and have her take your temperature! Something is definitely wrong with you! You must've caught her cold. I'll bet you're delirious with fever!"
Blair stifled a laugh in that moment and then she said, "I'm serious, Jo. Listen, I know we fight and argue all time, and ninety-nine percent of the time what we fuss about is silly stuff that doesn't even matter. I guess what's happened to Tootie recently has really made me grow up. I mean, I look at how she's handling all of this; how strong she's being despite how unhelpful her parents are. It's just made me realize how childish I've been in my own life. Just a few short weeks ago during summer vacation, before this whole disaster happened, the most important thing in my life was planning my latest shopping spree with my mother. Now, the most important thing in Tootie's life is making sure the baby she's carrying doesn't get adopted by some sick child molester like Earl Brown. It really puts things in perspective."
"You're right. It does. I think watchin' Tootie go through all this has had a similar effect on me. I think it's really made me do a lot of growin' up, too; made me realize what's really important in life."
"Jo, I know that you and I have different beliefs about God. I know that being in a relationship with Christ really means a lot to you."
"Yeah, that's true. I don't agree with everything Catholicism teaches, but my relationship with Jesus is everything to me."
"Well how does somebody like you explain this? I just don't understand how you could have any faith in God at all after seeing something like this happen to one of your closest friends. The night before my parents' divorce became final, I begged God the whole night not to let it happen; to keep my family together. God just ignored me. Abandoned me. And He didn't do anything to help Tootie, either, or Melissa and Rebecca Brown for that matter. And the sad fact of the matter is, we can pray and pray and pray all we want for God not to allow someone abusive like Earl Brown to adopt Tootie's baby, but that still might happen. How can you put your faith in a God like that?"
"Blair, you obviously have some kind of messed up notion that putting your faith in God automatically means that He's going to come into your life like some kind of magic fairy and solve all your problems for you. It doesn't work that way. We live in a sinful, cruel world, Blair. It didn't start out that way. God never intended for things to be like this. Earth used to be a perfect place, but because Adam and Eve disobeyed Him in the Garden of Eden, the world's been a cruel place to live ever since. God doesn't always protect us from bad things. Sometimes He allows us to go through painful experiences that end up being worked out for good if we trust Him. God didn't stop Earl Brown from raping Tootie because He gave us free will. If He hadn't given us free will, humanity would be nothing but a bunch of mindless robots. God wanted us to be able to think for ourselves. And in this sick, fallen world, the gift of free will is often twisted in order to hurt others. Earl Brown had the free will, the choice, to hurt Tootie or to not hurt her, and he chose to hurt her, and when he did, I'm sure the Lord wanted to punch his lights out. Jesus doesn't like it any better than we do when crap like this happens. But He's always working behind the scenes to turn bad things – even the most terrible things like this – into good things. Just think about Joseph's story in the book of Genesis."
"Wasn't he the one with the coat of many colors?"
"Right. He was one of Jacob's sons – his favorite son as a matter of fact, which really made his other brothers hate his guts. His brothers sold him into slavery and lied to their father, telling him that he'd been killed. Then after that, his master's wife in Egypt falsely accused him of trying to have sex with her and he was imprisoned. Some time later, the pharaoh started having dreams and Joseph accurately interpreted them. God was warning the pharaoh in his dreams that after seven plentiful years, there would be seven years of famine. The pharaoh went on to make Joseph the second most powerful person in Egypt, and they managed to save up extra food during the seven good years so that they could be prepared for the seven years of famine. What happened to Joseph in the beginning was awful. First he became a slave and then a prisoner. It wasn't fair. But look what happened in the end. God used him to save countless lives. God does things like that all the time."
"He's never done anything like that in my life," Blair said petulantly.
"You wanna bet?"
"What are you talking about? Of course He hasn't," she still insisted.
"What about us? What about the family you have here at Eastland with Natalie, Tootie, Mrs. G. and me? Blair, in the beginning, you and I couldn't stand each other. I couldn't stand Eastland at all, period. I hated it here at first. I was so angry at Mom for sendin' me away to this school. I didn't want anything to do with a bunch of snooty preppies. Then after I arrived, I went and messed everything up, not just for myself but for you, Nat, and Tootie, too. We landed ourselves in jail; got expelled from Eastland; got put on probation. I didn't exactly get off to a good start here at Eastland, and you girls were furious at me for getting you into so much trouble. But then something happened. I got to know you guys, and you got to know me. We became friends. We even became a family. I love my mom, but if I'm gonna be really honest, here, then I have to admit that the life I have here with all of you is tons better than what I had back home, bein' a latchkey kid and all. Personally, I think Jesus had a lot to do with that. Think about it. Would you have really been happy back in one of your parents' homes, spendin' more time with the nanny than with your mom and dad? And would you have really been happier living in one of the dorms than you would be here? Come on, Blair. Admit it. You know you're better off here with us. God took our mistake – our big mistake – and turned it around for all of us; made us a family."
"I never thought of it that way before, but I guess you're right," Blair reluctantly admitted. "Getting thrown in jail, put on probation, and expelled from Eastland wasn't exactly a good thing, but somehow, the five of us did end up with something pretty special that we wouldn't have had otherwise. I never realized that before. I guess I never really thought about it until now. But I still fail to see what possible good could come out of Tootie being raped and then getting pregnant as a result of that rape."
"I know. There's no doubt about it. It's a crappy situation, and I don't know why this had to happen to Tootie of all people. The bottom line is, we don't have knowledge, the intelligence, or the power to run this planet. God does. God is not unjust or cruel; He is remarkably caring and merciful. When Adam and Eve sinned and the entire human race fell, He could have chosen to forget all about us and leave us to our own devices, but He didn't. He chose to love us so incredibly much that He actually gave up His only begotten Son to die on a cross for us so that our relationship with Him could be restored and so we wouldn't have to pay the just penalty for our sins by going to hell, as long as we accepted the gift of Christ's perfect sacrifice on our behalf. It's nothing we have to work for or do penance for, because we can never do enough good works to earn or preserve a gift like that. In God's utterly remarkable mercy, the most precious gift mankind could ever hope to receive is free, and all we have to do is say yes. As long as we trust Him, Jesus does all the work of salvation for us; holds onto us throughout our lives and brings us Home in the end, because He knows we can't do it for ourselves. That's some pretty astounding love there, Blair. And when terrible things happen in this cruel world we've inherited, like Tootie getting raped, the only thing we can do is trust Christ to work it out and live our lives as best we can. All we can do now is try to be the best friends to Tootie that we can be, and do everything in our power to help her through this. After that, we just have to leave the rest to God and know that He knows what He's doing."
After a long silence, Blair finally admitted, "You've given me a lot to think about, Jo."
"I think this whole thing has given us all a lot to think about."
"Agreed."
"Well, I think I'll go back inside now. I'll leave you with your thoughts," Jo said, and then Blair nodded. In the next moment, Jo turned around and went back inside, and Blair let out a long sigh as she gazed up at the night sky.
Over the next five weeks, Blair continued to wrestle with both God and herself inside. At first, she didn't want to break down and admit it because of her own personal pride, but she finally got to a point where she had to be completely honest with herself and admit that Jo had been right about everything she'd said that night about the Lord. She also struggled inside because Jo's words about how she'd willingly give up her college education to care for Tootie's baby wouldn't stop repeating in Blair's mind. She couldn't stop thinking about how a person with far less money and opportunities than she had was willing to sacrifice her one and only shot at making a better life for herself in order to help a friend. Finally, one Sunday afternoon, Blair couldn't stand it anymore and she got Jo alone in the lounge to talk to her.
Without so much as a hello, Blair suddenly blurted out as they were standing in front of each other, "You were right!"
"Right about what?"
"You were right about everything you said to me that night, Jo. You were right about Christ and everything you said in the story about Joseph and everything."
"So you decided to stop being angry at Him and start trusting Him with your life instead?"
"Yes."
"Good deal," Jo said with a big smile.
"I may be brilliant when it comes to things like fashion and hooking a man, but there are some things in life – like running the whole planet – that are even beyond my comprehension," Blair said goofily, and Jo rolled her eyes at her silliness.
"Blair Warner actually admitting that somebody else knows better than she does. Be still my heart!" Jo said sarcastically.
After they laughed together for a moment, Blair said more seriously, "I know that if there's anybody worth trusting with my life, it's Jesus. I know He knows better than I do, even in crazy, awful situations like Tootie's where things don't make any sense."
"Right."
A quiet moment passed between them, and then Blair eventually said, "Jo, I have something else that's really serious that I need to talk to you about."
"What's up?"
"Jo, what kind of a mother do you think I'd make? Seriously. If I tried to take care of a child in my life right now, do you think I'd be any good at it? Tell me honestly. No jokes."
"Sure you'd be good at it."
To put it mildly, Blair was stunned by Jo's answer. "Are you serious?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course I'm serious."
After a pause, Blair said, "Wow. Jo, you're more critical of me than anyone. I was expecting you to tell me about all my flaws and all the things I would do wrong as a mother."
"Well, you would make the kid even more spoiled than you are, but other than that, you'd be great."
"What makes you think so?"
"Blair, over the years, you have told me over and over again how much you look forward to getting married, having children, and giving your children all the things you never got as a kid. You've told me before how even though your parents have always given you everything that money could buy, you've constantly had to work hard to get their time and attention, and how your kids will never have to work to get time and attention from you. It's always been your dream to be a mother someday, or to be more precise, the kind of parent you needed but never got. I think maybe you've always wanted that even more than you've wanted to become a professional painter."
"Yeah, I think you might be right," Blair said thoughtfully.
"Why do you ask?"
"There's something else you said that night a few weeks ago that really got me thinking."
"What'd I say?"
"You said that if you didn't owe it to your mother and the rest of your neighborhood to finish college, you'd give up going to college and raise Tootie's baby yourself. Well Jo, I've really been thinking about that. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind as a matter of fact. We both know that even if you didn't have your mom to think about, you'd never be able to postpone college and adopt Tootie's baby because you're only eighteen. I imagine that in order to adopt, you'd have to be at least twenty-one. And even if you were able to adopt the baby, you know as well as I do that you'd never be able to go back to college if you did. All the money you made would go into taking care of the baby.
"But it's different for me. I don't have those restrictions. My mom used to date a judge and a senator. My dad is also on a first-name basis with the governor and several mayors, and he knows a congressman as well. I'm the daughter of not just one but two multimillionaires with friends in very high places. If I talked to my parents about it, it is possible that I could convince them to use their connections to help me adopt Tootie's baby, even though I am only eighteen. And unlike you, I have the financial freedom to be able to postpone college indefinitely and then go back to school again whenever I want. I have enough money that I can easily support myself and a baby and just throw myself into full-time motherhood until the baby's old enough for me to start college."
Jo just stood before her in silent shock for the next several moments, until at last she said, "Let me see if I get this straight. You want to postpone going to college indefinitely so you can adopt Tootie's baby yourself?"
Blair's chestnut eyes locked with Jo's green ones for a long moment, and then Blair answered, "Yes."
"Wow, Blair. Wow. Just wow."
"I know it probably sounds crazy, but–"
"Well, crazy's not necessarily a bad thing," Jo interrupted. "Love for another person can make you want to do 'crazy' things sometimes, whether it's love for a guy or for a parent…or for a friend who's like your baby sister."
They shared a knowing smile, and then Blair asked, "Do you really think I can do it?"
"I think that if any eighteen-year-old in the world could pull this off, it's you. I know how you were wanting to know where Tootie's knight in shining armor was a few weeks ago. I wouldn't have expected you to end up being Tootie's knight who suddenly came in to save the day. But the truth is, as far as knights go, I think you'll be a good one. Well, maybe not when it comes to sword-fighting and slaying dragons, but I think you do have what it takes to rescue Tootie and her baby."
"Wow," Blair gasped. "A vote of confidence from Jo Polniaczek. Who could ask for more?"
Jo smiled again, and then she told Blair, "You know, I think this might really be the perfect solution to Tootie's problem. If you buy your own house here in Peekskill, you and the baby will be near Tootie and she'll be able to see it anytime she wants. And with you raising it, Tootie won't have to worry about trying to take care of a baby at fourteen. She'll be able to relax because she won't be giving her baby away to some stranger she doesn't know. She'll be giving it to somebody she knows she can trust."
"I was thinking the same thing. But there are some important things that have to happen first, though. I've got to get all my ducks in a row. First, I have to talk to my parents and convince them to go along with this. Then, I should talk to Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey and get them on board. I figure it'll be a lot easier to do this if I have their support since they're both such skilled lawyers."
"Right," Jo agreed, and then in that next instant, she and Blair heard a thump behind them.
"What was that?" asked Blair while Jo went out into the cafeteria to check. Jo quickly found Natalie, who had just tripped, still on her hands and knees on the floor.
"Natalie!" Jo shouted. "Just what do you think you're doin'?!"
Natalie looked up then and sheepishly replied, "Looking for loose change?"
"Get up!" she barked, and Natalie slowly rose to her feet as Blair came out from the lounge.
"Natalie, were you listening to us?" asked a very irritated Blair with her hands on her hips.
Without even bothering to answer that question, Natalie asked, "Blair, is it really true that you're going to try to adopt Tootie's baby?!"
"Shh!" Blair quietened her, and then she grabbed Natalie by the arm and pulled her into the lounge while Jo followed them. "Natalie, I don't want anybody to know about this yet," she scolded.
"Not even Tootie?"
"Especially not Tootie," Blair responded.
"But why not? She'll be thrilled! She'll be so relieved."
"Think about it, Nat. If we tell Tootie about all this now and she gets to thinkin' that she doesn't have to worry about her baby anymore, and then Blair isn't able to convince her parents to support her and it all falls through, Tootie'll be even more crushed than she is right now," Jo explained.
"That's right," Blair agreed. "And I don't want Mrs. Garrett to know about this either."
"Why not?" asked Natalie.
"Because this is the scariest, most challenging thing I've ever decided to do in my entire life and what I need most right now is support. What I don't need is to have to hear a bunch of lectures from Mrs. Garrett about how I'm too young to be a parent. I love Mrs. Garrett, but the last thing I need is for her to try to discourage me from doing this. I need all the help and all the support I can get."
"You need support and not lectures," Natalie said knowingly.
"Exactly," said Blair.
"Gotcha. Don't worry, Blair. I won't say a word about this to anyone."
Jo got up in Natalie's face then, held up a fist, and said, "If you do, you can kiss your teeth goodbye. Are we clear?"
Natalie's blue eyes grew wide with fear in that moment, and then she replied, "Crystal."
"Good," said Jo with a smile and a nod as she brought her fist down.
After another minute or two of chitchat, the threesome went out in Blair's Porsche to get something to eat, and they spent the rest of the afternoon excitedly talking and making plans for the future.
