a/n: sooo, my arm has been killing me and i've been getting sick.
alice: again
me: yes, again. so i do apologize if my updates are slow and the chapters don't have much meat to it
alice: uh-huh. so, anyways, enjoy the chapter! :)
Chapter 4: Heartache
"Can I help you, Director Mearing?" I really did not want to deal with her sour face today. I walked up to my desk and I noticed Lennox was sitting in one of the chairs against the wall. He didn't look comfortable at all.
"Yes, you can," I raised an eyebrow and she gestured to a seat, "Have a seat, Witwicky."
"I'd prefer standing," I crossed my arms. After all, she was sitting in my seat in my office.
"After this, I'd think you should sit," She narrowed her eyes at me but gave up after I didn't budge. Leaning back, she gave me a once-over, "I hear that you're... dating one of the recruits here?"
"You could say that..." What was she thinking?
"Well, I need you two to cut it off."
Excuse me?
"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked, incredulous. I spread my hands atop of the cherry wood desk I had that matched Katy's, "You want me to what?"
"I want you to cut it off. You know, break up," She snapped her fingers.
"No," I said plainly. She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"I know that you are young and think you're in love but this thing you guys have is jeopardizing this whole operation."
"What? How? Tell me that, Director Mearing," I crossed my arms. She opened her mouth and then shut it, "I am not going to break it off with Bee."
"That's the other thing. Why are you dating a 17 foot robot? It's not like he has the capacity to love nor have any other emotion," My hand curled into a fist. Not have the capacity to love or have any other emotion? She's messing with fire now.
"I am dating him because Bee sees me for me, unlike any other guy I've met. He likes me for me and isn't trying to get into my pants."
"That's not what I've heard from some of the recruits."
My face flushed a deep color but I kept my composure, "That was both of our decisions. He didn't push me to do it nor did I push him. It was both of our doing and whether you like it or not is up to you."
She leant forward, "What if you get pregnant? You can complicate things further here at NEST."
"I've seen co-workers here continue with their work as they're pregnant. I don't even think that I can get pregnant!" I threw my hands up. It was true, it was Bee's holoform, I don't think it could do that to me... could it? "Anyways, why aren't you degrading the pregnant women here?"
"Because they're married! You're not! You're just a hormone-driven teen!"
"I am not!"
"Do not shout at me!" She got up and leaned in towards me, "You will break it off with him now or some serious consequences are coming your way."
"Lennox?" I turned to him, pleading with my eyes, "A little help?"
"I'm cornered," He held up his hands and stood up, "I'm sorry, Jess. What the Director wants, she gets. She's part of our main funding."
I couldn't believe this! They wanted me to break up with Bee? The one who has been with me since the beginning of all this? The one who has helped us save the world twice? The one who held my heart? And they expect me to just quit him cold turkey? I looked at Lennox unbelivingly, my heart beginning to tear in two pieces. I heard the Director sit back down in my chair.
"Oh, and this office? It's now mine," Turning sharply, I felt Lennox grab ahold of my elbow. He leaned in close to my ear.
"Don't do anything stupid. We need good reps," I looked up at Lennox, tears bubbling up in my eyes. He pressed his lips together and I saw the sympathy in his eyes. Tearing my arm away from him, I walked to the door.
"Oh, Witwicky?" I turned slowly in the doorway, a hand on the frame.
"Yes, Director Mearing?" Right now, I was to drained to fight. My emotions were doing that for me.
"I want you guys over by the end of today."
"Yes, Director Mearing," I said quietly and looked at her, "But by doing this, you do know that it will effect our productivity negatively. It will cause both me and Bee to be distracted and not as focused. You're making a huge mistake here and you don't know how big the consequences will be."
She scoffed and waved a hand, "I think I can handle two depressed people."
I shook my head and walked out of the office. Stepping down the ladder, I walked past a few of the Autobots and up to Bee. He chirped happily and knelt down.
"Hey, Bee," I smiled softly, "We need to talk. Alone."
He nodded and I saw his holoform appear. He wrapped me in a hug and kissed me on top of my head. We began to walk to the living quarters, knowing that's where we'd get the most privacy. Walking into my room, I sat down on my bed with a sigh and ran a hand through my bangs.
"What's wrong?" Bee asked as he sat next to me, "Not regretting things are we?"
"No, that's not it," I said quickly. I turned to him with a soft smile but he continued to look worriedly at me.
"Then, what is it? I can feel that you're stressed out."
"How?" I asked, my eyebrows scrunching together. He sighed and passed his own hand through his shaggy bangs.
"It's a concept that Ratchet's been trying to work out. You know how Cybertronians have a SparkMate?"
I nodded. Bee told me about it. It was like marriage but a deeper connection. If one of the SparkMate's died, the other one basically does the same since their Sparks were merged.
"It's like that, only he calls it a Soul SparkMate or something like that. He hasn't told us much about it, but it's what you guys call a Soul Mate. The one person that was made for you and such. Ratchet thought of it because of us. He thinks that's why we're so in tune with each other. How we can feel what each other feels and more. It's still a work in progress, but I think he may be onto something."
Well, that's going to make this that much harder. He grabbed my hands and laced his fingers with mine. Sighing, I unhooked our hands and stood up, turning to him.
"Bee, I don't know how to say this..." I started. He got up and grabbed my shoulders, making me look at him.
"You can tell me anything, Jess," He smiled. I felt the tears begin to bubble up in my eyes and spill over. It felt as if my heart was being torn apart and smashed to the ground. He began to wipe away the tears and brought me into a hug, "Tell me what the matter is, Jess."
"We can't..." I said, clasping to his shirt before pushing him away. Bee looked confused.
"What do you mean, Jess? What are you trying to say?"
"We need to break up," I hiccupped slightly. His eyebrows scrunched together.
"Break up?"
"It means we can't see each other. We can't be together. Can't kiss, can't hug, nothing like a boyfriend and girlfriend would do," I rubbed my arms with my hands slightly. Bee just stared blankly at me.
"I-If this was about last night, Jess-"
"It's not Bee," I held up a hand, cutting him off, "I... think that we just need a break. Perhaps it would do us both some good."
I couldn't look at him. I could feel that he was getting what I was saying and I felt his own heart begin to break. He stood up straight.
"If that's what you want," He said quietly, unemotionally. I nodded and he made his way to the door silently. I watched him go, feeling like he was taking my heart with him.
He was.
As soon as the door shut and I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore, I collapsed onto my bed, sobbing. I gripped my pillow and hugged it close to me, feeling like something was just jabbed straight into my heart and it tore straight out. It probably was when Bee walked away. I ended up crying myself to sleep.
"Jess?" I heard someone knock on my door. I groaned and flopped onto my back, my joints yelling at me as I looked at the clock: 19:25.
"It's open," I called, my voice hoarse. I knew it was Katy from the way she knocked. Katy came in quietly with a plate of food.
"What's wrong, Strawberry?" She asked as she closed the door quietly and walked over to the bed. I sat up slowly, my head pounding and my nose clogged up from here to hell and back. I looked at her and she gave a small laugh, "You look like crap."
"I feel like crap," And my voice sounded worse. She gave me a soft smile and placed the plate of food in front of me. My appetite went out the window a long time ago.
"What's wrong? I asked Lennox where you were all day and he said to not bug you. I asked anyone else and they didn't know. Did you know Director Mearing is taking over your office?" I held up a hand.
"Please lower your tone and talk slower. My head feels like a buncha cows are stampeding on it," Katy chuckled and hooked an arm around my shoulder, shaking it a bit.
"What happened to the bubbly Jess I've come to know and love? What happened?" I looked at her, feeling more tears bubble up in the back of my throat.
"I broke up with Bee..." She stopped shaking my shoulder and stared at me in shock.
"You what?" She asked quietly. I felt more tears spill over my cheeks.
"We had to."
"Why? You guys are just... you guys! It's not Jess and Bee, it's Jess-and-Bee. You guys just go together!" She exclaimed, much to my displeasure. I winced, "Sorry, Jess. Why? Tell me."
I opened my mouth when I heard shouting.
"Don't you dare tell me that I can't see my best friend! Let me in!" It was Mikaela. She was shouting distinctively from the other side of the door.
"Guys, let her in. I called her," I heard Lennox and then a knock at the door. Katy got up and answered it.
"Hey Lennox," I heard her say. I didn't hear what Lennox said but I was suddenly engulfed in Mikaela's arms.
"Oh, god, I'm sooo sorry, Jess! Lennox didn't tell me anything but the main deal of it. Tell me everything!" She sat down in front of me. I waited until Katy sat beside her and I told what happened in my office and the room. Somewhere in the middle, the tears began to flow again. At the end, Mikaela wrapped me in a hug again while Katy let us have the moment.
"I'm sorry, Katy, you shouldn't have to be put through this just because of our stupid Director," Katy fumed. Shaking my head, I pulled away from Mikaela's embrace and wiped away any traces of tears.
"It's not your fault, Katy. The Director thinks that we're distracting each other," This time, I saw Mikaela shake her head.
"If anything, this will make you guys more distracted. When I walked in, I saw Bee peel out of here like a bat out of hell with Optimus calling after him."
"Yeah," Katy nodded, "Optimus was not happy with the Director. Well, even more than he usually is. I was talking with Ironhide and all of the Autobots are not happy with the Director. They were happy to see Bee as happy as he was. Ironhide told me that it was the happiest he's ever seen Bee and then this happens and Bee walks in like a zombie. Bee may get on Ironhide's nerves, but he's like a little brother to him and he wanted to wail on Director Mearing for breaking both your hearts- er, your heart, his spark."
I choked out a laugh and a small smile, messing with the piece of watermelon on my plate. Mikaela shook my shoulder.
"Hey, cheer up! Lennox said you could spend the night at my place to clear your head. He said he would give you tomorrow and the day after off to get back into your game," I looked at her, bewildered.
"Lennox would do that for me?"
"He would," I turned to the doorway and saw Lennox leaning against the door frame, "In the past few years we worked together, you've become like a second daughter to me. You've helped me out with the children on base and my child off."
Smiling, I remembered that Lennox and Sarah had called me on more than one occasion to watch after their adorable baby, Annabelle, while they went on dates.
"Besides that, you and Bee need a reprieve from here. Both of you have been working to hard for to long. Bee already took off, so I thought you'd probably would like to as well," He shrugged and walked into the dark room, "So I called in Mikaela. She'll take you in for tonight for sure. If you'd like to stay more than a day, just call me an let me know."
I nodded, getting up and gathering my things in my suitcases. Katy and Mikaela helped. I turned to Katy just as I was finishing up.
"Do you wanna come?"
"No," She shook her head with a smile, "1. I want you to spend some time with your friend you haven't seen in a long time, and 2. I have work here to deal with. You go. Let loose, have fun. Forget about today and I hope to see you better by the time you get back."
I nodded, more tears bubbling up as I hugged her, "You're a good friend, Katy."
"Tell me about it," She laughed and let me go, "Go have fun. Let me deal with Mearing."
Nodding, I went to go press a button on my bracelet when I realized it was the charm bracelet Bee gave me. Staring at it, I pressed the button after a while and picked up my newly shruken suitcases, slipping them into my pocket. Walking over to Lennox, I wrapped him in a surprise hug. He was taken off gaurd but then wrapped his arms gingerly around my waist before I pulled away.
"Thanks, Lennox. For everything," He nodded and then saluted. I saluted back, then gave way to a smile. He smiled and waved, turning.
"I gotta go. I'll see you when you get back, Jess!" Lennox said before jogging off in the opposite direction of the room. Sighing, I turned to Katy and wrapped her in a hug again. Hugging me back, she pulled away and looked at Mikaela.
"Take care of her. You're not her only best friend."
"I promise I will," Mikaela smiled at Katy. They shook hands and I waved to Katy as we walked out of the building. I climbed into Mikaela's old, rundown Lincoln and buckled in my seatbelt. Mikaela slid into the drivers seat and turned on the car, the engine sputtering a bit, "It's not a muscle car, but it will get me places."
I smiled softly as she pulled out of the parking lot. I looked out of the window as she drove down the streets of D.C, dark clouds rolling in and opening to let the rain pour down on us. The darkness of the clouds felt like the thoughts that were clouding my heart and mind.
How ironic.
a/n: awww. poor Jeee :(
alice: you have a plan to this, don't you
me: i dunno
alice: =.=
me: anyways, i'm leaving ya'll with a question again :3
How do you think the Autobots reacted when they heard about the break-up?
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW :D
