Chapter 4: Smalltown
Naomi
I feel like shit, which is normal, considering. I haven't even opened my eyes yet but I can feel someone's arms around me. Though it's starting to come back to me. I don't even need to open my eyes to know it's Effy. I remember I was crying, I think it was the middle of the night.
I don't really know why I was crying, maybe it's that I was suddenly in some strange house, or the blurry memories of a few hours before. I had a strange dream. It was mostly about Emily. I was apparently in college again, and for some reason I really hated Emily. That's strange because I only just met Emily yesterday. I'd be surprised if the Emily in my dream even looked like the Emily in real life.
I don't hate her. In fact, I'm pretty sure she snogged me yesterday. I think we can both blame that on the MDMA.
I can't seem to muster up the strength to even open my eyes. Everything just feels... sad. Strange how some mornings you can just wonder if anything matters at all. I can name five people in the whole world that would actually care if I disappeared. I don't think I'm having much of an impact.
Effy is warm, and that's helping, though her breathing is a little shaky. I finally get my eyes to open, and now I can look up to see Effy's eyes are closed. Her brow is furrowed, and I can see her eyes are rapidly moving under her eyelids. I think she's having a nightmare.
I move my hand from my side to gently shake Effy's shoulder, and her eyes quickly open. She's a little puzzled at first. It's hard not to be confused when you first wake up. Effy's eyes then move back to only showing hazy picture of her feelings.
"Morning..." I say, and I must be showing my sadness at the moment because she moves her hand to push a strand of hair behind my ear. Gosh, people are actually going to think I'm gay. I snogged a girl and I'm cuddling with one now.
Fuck it, no one's watching anyway. One slip-up doesn't make you gay. I lean my head on Effy's arm.
"We're robbing a convenience store tomorrow..." Effy says. It sounds like she's already talked this over with the twins. Guess that's a sign to stop cuddling.
"Fucks sake Effy, you really think I'm gonna join you on your conquest? I have a job. A lousy one, but at least it's a job." I answer.
"Do you have a job? Doesn't seem like you do on account that it's a week day."
I think and then immediately feel dread wash over me. Shit. I'm scared to look at the clock. After some second-guessing, I finally muster the courage to turn my gaze to the digital alarm clock on the dresser.
9:47
This means I'm basically fucked. I'm supposed to be there at nine, and since my boss is a bitch I'm probably not going to have a very good day. I groan. "Shit Effy, I have to go." I say, and I notice her hand is gripping my arm. I think she wants me to stay, but she's able to cover that with her empty gaze. She lets go of my arm.
"You're struggling with cash, aren't you? If you just take up my offer you won't have to worry..." Effy states, though I think she knows I'm not mental. I grab my floral jacket from the ground and try fixing my hair in the vertical mirror she has set up next to her bed. I look about as good as you can look after a night of sweaty partying and crying that smears your make-up.
"Just... call before midnight tomorrow if you change you mind..." Effy's still trying to get me to join her 'gang'. I shake my head slightly and move my eyes to look at hers.
Even though our eye color is nearly the same, I think our eyes are so much more... different. Mine show things, while hers perfectly conceal. It makes her look like she's so much more intelligent, and that might even be true. I can feel a bruise on my leg and I distinctly remember Effy putting ice on it.
"Thank you for... for finding me at the party, yeah? You didn't need to do that, or even bring me here..." I feel bad now as I say this. I feel like she wasn't just helping because she wants me to help her rob a place. She was sincere.
"Katie can be a bit of a bitch when she wants to be. Don't dwell on what she said, she can't be blamed for it..." Effy says. I can barely remember what Katie said, but I'm still wondering why Effy's defending her.
"Ecstasy is a hell of a drug, innit?" I answer with a small smile before I turn around. I walk slowly down Effy's stairs, pulling my mobile from my pocket. I think on calling a cab, but I freeze right outside Effy's door after seeing Emily's contact in my phone. I want to call her, maybe forgive her for kissing me. She's probably pretty self-conscious about it, and I can't imagine what Katie is saying to her.
I sigh. Might as well walk, I'm already late anyway. I deserve a shower, even if the water is cold in my flat. My walk is fairly easy once I figure out where I am. My flat isn't very far from Effy's house. Once I've walked up the creaky and probably-not-up-to-code stairs I can clearly see the note taped to my door.
You barely even own this place now, pay your rent.
- Thomas
My landlord isn't really a bad guy. He just doesn't like bullshit. He's nice to me because I think he knows my situation. I saw him where I worked once. He probably shouldn't let me get away with paying less and less of my stacking rent, but I think he feels bad about me.
I step into my flat after unlocking it, and for some reason there's something calm about the sound of the floorboards. It's familiar. The sun is showing through the window, and the light succeeds in showing me how dusty everything is. I take a couple more deep breaths before looking at the clock. 10:10. I grab the discarded "Fitch Diner" uniform off the ground. I think Jenna really needs to veer away from this yellow color she has us wearing.
After a very cold shower and a granola bar, I'm finally walking to the fast food restaurant Jenna Fitch has named a diner. Diners must be turning in their building-sized graves. When I step inside I'm immediately greeted with a "What is wrong with you Naomi?"
That's not the first time I've heard that phrase. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's beginning to become a new nickname for me. My boss seemed to appear from the back room the second I walked in the door.
"Sorry Jenna I wasn't-"
"It doesn't matter, go take orders at the drive-thru. We are talking about this later missy!" Jenna states. I don't know why she always wears those fancy clothes to a restaurant like this. She then turns and walks back into the back room. I don't know exactly what she does back there. There can't be much work in managing a fast-food place.
I fucking hate taking orders. It probably shows through my voice as I say the phrase over and over. "Welcome to Fitch Diner, how can I take your order this morning?"
Then I have to deal with actually seeing the families, all on road trips or something. And then the people seemingly off to work at a job that starts this late in the morning. God how I'd like one of those jobs.
Three hours of this and the boredom is beginning to take hold of me. I'm starting to think I should just have an MDMA pill waiting for this part of the day. Not even completely halfway through yet.
Oh, then it's made all the better by Katie, who apparently has her own car. She pulls up to the window and then turns her face to me. I prepare my onslaught of passive-aggressive phrases.
Okay, my mood softens just a little when I realize it's Emily. They do look different, it hard to tell when they're not looking at you though.
"Heard you work here..." Emily says. She's holding up the line, because she hasn't taken her money out yet. She was the one that ordered a small milkshake. Those things aren't even worth the money.
"Yeah, so?" I answer, and for some reason there is annoyance in my voice.
Emily stumbles with her words slightly. "I told her it was me... that I kissed you..." She says. She's clearly apologizing. My expression softens.
"Well... I don't care what your sister thinks." I hear a honk from behind Emily's car, but she doesn't stop looking at me. Her eyes change what she's looking at every so often. She's nervous.
"Yeah well... I do, but thanks anyway..." I glance down at the window-frame of the drive-thru window. "I didn't take MDMA last night..." I hear, I then look at her curiously, though I'm probably also making myself look disgusted. "I just... wanted to kiss you..." Her eyes continuously look from the ground to my eyes and back again. She even seems a little surprised at her next statement.
"I want to kiss you now..." She says, and now my brow is furrowed. Why's everything so fucking complicated. Despite this, my immediate response is a little direct.
"Your gay?" I say. I'm not really asking at all.
She falters. "No... No- I just..." She looks down again before glancing back at me with an uncertain look. "... sorry..."
Why the fuck would she be telling me this? Me? Of all people?
"Yeah... me too." I answer, rudeness clear in my tone. I wanted it to sound rude. What makes her think she just has the right to do that? I turn and grab the arm of a different girl working on a burger, pulling her to the window. "Take over, will you Panda?" Though by the time she's about to answer, I'm already gone.
