In It Together

Pam felt an undeniable flush of exhilaration at Jim's words. Just – not Karen. She unconsciously shook her head as she pushed her excitement back down. This was definitely not the time for that kind of melodrama. Jim was about to face the biggest crisis of his life, she was sure of it. He needed unconditional support now – not complications – and Pam was going to make sure he got exactly that.

"Ok, no Karen. Do you have any aunts or uncles between here and D.C.?

Jim did nothing to hide his frustration with her. "Pam, she said immediate family – over and over, I might add."

Now Pam felt a wave of defensiveness wash over her. Wow. Jim could really be a prick when he was stressed. A wry smile skittered over her face and she said evenly, "Jim, your parents' siblings are their immediate family."

Jim looked somewhat abashed as he stammered, "Oh, yeah. You're right. She meant their immediate family, not mine. I guess I'm really not thinking straight."

Pam waited. "And?"

"And what?"

"Do you have any aunts or uncles who could help you now?"

"Oh, yeah. Oh no, I mean. Close by, there's only my dad's younger sister, Penny. And she's kind of a Chicken Little – excitable. My mom calls her The Poodle. She'd be worse than having no one around. I'd have three people to worry about instead of two."

Pam considered Jim's situation. He was about to embark on an unfathomably terrifying and treacherous journey – utterly alone. She couldn't imagine one person's having the strength to bear it. "I could go with you." The shock on Jim's face made her falter. "Just until Jon gets there. So you won't have to be alone the first few days. You said you couldn't do it alone."

Jim searched her face and asked in a gruff whisper, "You would do that for me? Really?"

Without hesitation Pam replied, "Yes, Jim, I'd do that for you. You always used to be there for me when I needed support. For years. This would give me a chance to repay you just a little. And I do know my way around a hospital. I'd like to help you for once."

As Pam spoke, Jim felt the crushing pressure in his chest lessen just a little. "Man, I sure would appreciate having you with me. I'm really freaking out at the idea of walking into that ICU alone."

Pam gently touched Jim's arm. "Jim – I'm not family. We're going to arrive way after visiting hours are over. You'll still have to do that alone."

Jim blanched as if he'd just taken a body blow. "Oh shit. You're right." For the second time, Pam watched a single tear slip down Jim's cheek. He looked defeated and vulnerable. "Maybe you could – be my sister?"

Pam mulled his suggestion over in her mind for a few moments. "That probably wouldn't be a good idea, Jim. If they thought I was a daughter, they might try to involve me in medical decisions or ask me to sign a form or something. Especially if you were away for a few minutes when something came up. Seems kinda risky."

Jim expelled a long, hollow sigh. "I can see that. OK." He paused for a while. "So you'd go all the way down there to be with me and my parents for like 40 minutes a day?"

"Well, I could spend my day in the waiting room, I guess. You could always come out and spend a few minutes with me if you felt like you needed m-" she paused, "some support."

Jim pursed his lips and shook his head sadly. "I dunno, Pam. That's a lot of waiting around for you. And I really, really need someone with me more than that, I think. I don't know if 40 minutes a day would make a difference."

The pair sat together in frustrated silence. Slowly, Jim rose. "Well, I guess I'd better get going. Thanks anyway, Pam. I really do appreciate the offer."

Pam ached to do something – anything – to alleviate Jim's pain. For the second time that day, she began to cry over the devastating gulf that had grown between them. She wrapped her arms around Jim's waist and whispered, "You let me know if you change your mind. I'll do anything to help you, OK?"

As Pam wrapped her arms around him, Jim reflexively encircled her in his own and rested his cheek on her head. The warmth of her body, the gentleness of her touch, her soft hair under his skin … it all felt so reassuring. Comforting. Jim looked ahead to the next five days that he'd have to spend alone with his terror and squeezed Pam tighter, trying to provision himself with enough of her strength to last him through the coming days.

Suddenly, Jim stood erect. "Hey! Could you be my – wife? Just for a few days? Could you do it? Would that work?"

Pam smiled at his ingenuity. "Yes. I think it would."