Chapter 4: The Reason

EPOV

"I'll call you later mom, we're near the school now… Yes mom I will don't worry about me… Yes ill take care of myself… he's a grown up now mom he can take of himself!... yes yes I will… I love you too… take care of your self, ill call you as soon as we're settled.. Bye!"

We were driving now to SU and my mom just called to make sure I don't get into trouble. She has always been overprotective of me, well at least I thought of her like that.

Ever since she and my father got divorced she and I became really close, having to live with her and all that.

I never saw my mom regret their separation. It's as if they're still in love with each other its just that they are not living together. She loved my father so much but I guess living together was not an option already. She respected my father and his busy life style and they decided that it would be best for them to separate.

She grieved of course but only for a while. She and Carlisle seemed to still be good friends after that. They settled their differences and still communicate just like before.

She also wasn't into meeting other men after they divorced. She said that she did not get divorced to be with another man, its just that she and my dad are not in the "same page", my father having to travel a lot and all.

My father was a neurosurgeon and he gets to be assigned to different hospitals a lot, being good with his profession.

There were times when he was out of the house for months and my mother could not take it. They argued before often and it still bothers me from time to time. They said they were in love but still they decided to separate. If they loved each other just like they say they did could they not surpass their difficult situation?

They talked to me before they decided to divorce. Its still at the back of my mind like it just happened yesterday

Flashback

"son, could we have a word with you at the living room?" my father called. I knew that this was coming, I've overheard them discuss it once.

"Edward, your father and I have something to tell you…" I clenched my fist trying to hold the tears that threaten to spill. I don't want them to see me crying over this. I need to be strong, for them, for me..

"your father and I are having some troubles for quite some time now and we have decide that its best for both of us, for you…." She paused seeming to hold back her own tears that were about to come

"You're mother and I have decided to get a divorce son, it's for the best." I nodded my head, not looking at both of them.

There was along silence, uncomfortable silence for what seems to be forever until my mother came to sit next to me, hugging me.

"I'm really sorry son, I know this is hard for you but your father and I are starting to grow apart. I don't want us to constantly argue all the time, especially in front of you. We have talked about this for a long time and I don't want us to hate each other for that. If we get divorce it would ease up the tension growing between us and would let us go and do what we want. I don't want you to think that we are getting divorce because we hate each other. We don't" she looked at my father…

"We just need to find our selves which we have a hard time doing when we are constantly arguing."

"Son, you know that I am busy all the time and I don't get to spend a lot of time with you and your mom and I hated that. I know that my job is ruining my responsibilities as a father and as a husband but this is what I was meant to do. I love my job and people need me."

He was about to continue when I cut him off… "You love your job more than you love us I get it!" I didn't mean for it to come out rude but he needs to hear it.

"Son…" he was sitting on my other side now. "You know that I love you both, more than anything its just that its not…" he paused for a moment contemplating on what he would say..

"I'm sorry son, I don't mean for this to come out the way you think. Of course I love you both more, I was married young and there are things that I wanted to pursue even before that was put on hold when you're mother and I got married, and soon came you"

There it is, they regretted having me…

"We don't regret having you son, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, really… when you grow up, you'll understand what I am talking about. I need to find my self before I am able to give myself fully to both of you." He was looking at my mother now, as if the statement was not for me…

"Edward, you're father and I love each other, so much. We love each other so much that we don't want to deny each other of what we want and need. You're father needs to attend to his career…"

"What about you mom?" I said cutting her off.

"Well for me, I love your father enough to let him go and be himself, find his true calling. I on the other hand, need to focus more on taking care of you. I also want a business that would probably take most of my time as well. It's what I have been dreaming ever since. If your father and I would be too busy with our own careers, we won't have time for each other anymore. We don't want you to think that we're being selfish son, you'll understand…"

I'll understand what? I decide to accept it knowing that there isn't any other choice. I nodded and both of them gave me a hug.

"I love you so much son, even though we're not together anymore, don't think that you are deprive of our attention" my mom said.

"I love you too."

End of flashback

Ever since that talk, I planted on myself to not be like them. I don't want to end up marrying someone who would love herself more than she loves me. I hated that feeling.

When they separated, my mom opened up an clothing line and ended up establishing numerous stores around the world. She became very busy but she never neglected me of her time. I love her for that. My father also tried to be with me every chance he gets.

What's great about this while setting is that I get to have anything I wanted. Two gifts on birthday, two present for Christmas and any other holidays. Its as if they're trying to compensate their separation with gifts and other things money can buy. I was opposed to it before and thought that it was rather silly. I needed them to be with me and spend time with them together. I didn't need material things for me to be happy.

But as time went by, I got accustomed to it. I accepted it. "What I want, I get" that became my philosophy ever since, in everything I do.

When Emmett came to the family, I was glad, even though it was a huge adjustment for both of us. He just lost his parents and I my parents just got divorced. It was perfect. He and I depended on each other, just like real bothers. But Emmett was more of the "outspoken" one. I on the other hand, was more to myself. I don't want others pitying me.

As we got older, we became closer. We the most amazing bunch of friends. Emmett met Rosalie over high school and they have been inseparable ever since. They loved each other but in an abnormal way. I don't get it. But what's obvious is that they are mad about each other. I was happy about that.

Alice and Jasper were like them in a sense. They are more tamed unlike Emmett and Rosalie. They have this deep connection only the two of them understand.

As for me, I decided to play around the field. I'm too young to get hooked yet. I want to enjoy what's out there. I don't want to be like my parents, only deciding that they want to live their own lives after committing themselves to another for the rest of their lives. I want to settle when I have already exhausted what the world has for me.

I don't have a serious relationship, never had. Girls seem to come to me, but all of them are the same. Hormone driven, shallow and gullible (a/n: no discrimination intended). They always seem to believe anything I say, using my charm of course, which I managed to practice over the years.

I guess I haven't found "the girl" yet, the one who would truly make me change. I long for her, waiting… always waiting. But the longer I wait, the more tired I become. Is there really someone destined for only one person? Is there such thing as true love? I highly doubt it.

The longer the time passes, the more numb my heart became, numb to feel what true love is. I never found it with all the girls I've met. They all seem too familiar. Too ordinary. I'm tired of searching…

I was caught off guard with what I saw….

We arrived at the campus just in time, with the way I drive, I wasn't surprised.

We pulled up at the parking lot in front of the campus. I got out of my Volvo and took a look at the façade of the building in front of me. it was okay. We decided to go here for college so that we could still live near our families, something my mom wanted for me. I didn't mind, as long as I'm with my friends, I'm okay.

After appreciating the old campus, I looked at the other car, well… more of a piece of rusty metal with wheels…(I had to laugh at that…) across from us.

After looking at the truck, I noticed a girl beside it. I stopped to study her… well more of gawking at her…

She had long wavy brown hair that went near the top of her hips, her skin was a bit pale too… I guess she doesn't like the sun…

I stopped short at what I saw next, her eyes…. I have never seen eyes that expressive before… some say that the eyes are the windows in a person's soul. That you can see anything with their eyes. I used to laugh at that… not really believing it.. but boy was I wrong…

Her brown eyes appealed to me.. sending me a message I could not quite comprehend.

Her lips, she has pink plump lips, too tasty for her liking… her face was plain, but definitely not ordinary. It's a face I haven't seen to often. She was pale and had no make up on, something I am not used to, having girls around who looked like clowns for their heavy amount of make up. I like it..wait, l like her?

The way she dresses too was very amusing to me. She wasn't trying to look sexy but somehow she seems to me. She had a spaghetti strapped top that went above her stomach showing a bit of her toned stomach. She also has a wavy "hobo" skirt that went far down her knees. She was trying for simple but she seemed too extraordinary to me. I have met girls who wore less than that trying to look seductive. But her…she wore more yet she looked good enough to eat.

I wasn't used to girls like these… what's it with her that has me interested??

She must have noticed me staring, (well she was staring too…) so I decide to use my "dazzling smirk" on her, seeing if she was easy…

The moment she realized that I was smirking at her, she tripped… I had to laugh at that, well I tried not to, so as not to come off rude. I fought hard to not let out a boisterous laugh making my smile wide…

Shit! I think I offended her because she glared at me and stormed inside the campus. Wait, why did she not come over and introduced herself? That smile always win girls over… why didn't she?

What's wrong with her? She doesn't like me? impossible… everyone likes me.

This was a challenge for me… I wanted to get to know this girl and find out who she was and why she seemed different. I had to know.. I want to know…

I posted a mental note for myself : find out who she is and seep her off her feet I always find my way around girls, I have to have her…

As soon as she was gone, we got our stuff and went inside to find our room.

"Eddie hurry up, im starving!!"

"if you don't stop calling me that ill smack your big head over that wall right there!" Emmett always calls me that ass of a nickname and I hated it. Eddie… what a pussy name

"Then hurry up!" Emmett pounded on my door.

I finished hanging clothes in my closet and took a final glance at the mirror and headed out the door.

"What are you a girl?" Emmett chimed in taking In my appearance

"What? I have to look good for the ladies my friend… Its my responsibility" I half laughed seeing Emmett fake a gag…

"Yah okay okay Mr. Full of yourself"

"Lets go, where's Jazz?"

"He's already at the car, waiting for us"

"Fine, lets go then. I texted the girls already to meet us up there"

"Good.."

With that, we were off to the pizza place we seemed to love even when we were kids. It made us feel homey… the aura of the place makes us reminiscent of mom's home cooked meals.

Within a couple of minutes, we were already there, waiting for the girls.

Jasper chose our usual table and we all patiently waited for the girls to arrive.

After a few minutes, Emmett spotted Rosalie at the entrance door. She waved at him, which made Emmett glow.

"Need tissue dude? Your drooling.." I laughed.

"Your just jealous man" he nudged me making me fall a bit from the couch. Emmett was a huge bear.

Glanced at Rosalie and Alice as they made their way over our table when I noticed another figure behind them…

Holy shit!! It was the girl from the parking lot! why was she with them?

I suddenly felt happier, giddy… I want to know that girl. The moment I saw her from the parking lot, I must say I was attracted to her, she was beautiful in a different way, very different… she came off as a challenge, the way she seemed to brush me off awhile ago. I like challenge…

But wait, was she leaving? No… she rushed to the bathroom in a hurry without even looking here… strange..

"Hey guys, have you ordered already?" Alice said scooting over to seat next to Jasper after giving him a peck on the lips.

"No babe, we were waiting for you" Jasper answered looking at her as if she was the only girl in the room, I admired him for that, she loved Alice. She treated her like if she was a princess. I liked it that he was with Alice, they were perfect for each other.

"We have someone with us, Bella, she's our room mate. She seems nice, a little shy though" Rosalie said after seating beside Emmett.

"really? That's nice.." I smirked answering her

"don't even think about it mister!" Alice scoffed at me

"What?"

"Don't even try that with her, she wont buy it!"

I knew what she was talking about but I wanted to tease her more

"I have no idea what your talking about Al"

"Yeah I bet you don't!"

After a few moments, she was there. Bella.. beautiful..

"uhmm.." she stood awkwardly in front of us, avoiding to look at me…

I wonder why…

"Oh yeah, sorry Bella. Guys! This is Bella…" Alice introduced her

"Swan… Isabella Swan, but please call me Bella" that voice…

Alice introduce the guys to her, she seemed polite.. still avoiding to look at me… whats wrong with her?

"…and last but not the least, this is Edward" Alice said gesturing to me

time to play the game…

"Bella?... it's a pleasure meeting you" I offered my hand, preparing to touch her skin.

She took my hand.. "uh… y-you too." Did she just stutter? Im liking this…

As soon as she took my hand, I felt something different. Her tiny hands were so soft… probably one of the nicest hands I ever get the chance to touch.

We lingered there for a while, her constantly staring at me… I loved here eyes, those brown eyes…

Then she suddenly pulled away. Did I scare her?

She sat next to me, something that I planned the moment I saw her.

After all of us were settled and ordered, I decided to talk to her. When I looked at her from the corner of my eyes, she was looking away. It seemed that she was trying her very best not to touch me, slouching away from me. why would she do that? Did I do something wrong?

I had to do something. I want to get to know her.

I called her once but she didn't hear me. I decided to tap her shoulder… she flinched at that, making me giggle inside. Do I really have that effect on her that when I touch her she flinches? Oh, this is far too easy…

"yeah?" she said trying her best to remain calm.

I asked her if she was alright.

We started talking, getting to know each other. This is a good start…

While I was telling her stories about how all of us met, she had this look on her face. Like she was trying to study my every move. She had this glow in her eyes that made more interested. I talked and she listened, I rarely get that from other girls.

Most of the girls I meet are to impatient that when I start talking about myself, they always try and distract me, touching, flirting, kissing, anything to make me stop and get the hell with it already… this girl was different. Like she wants to know me… maybe if I talked the whole night, she wouldn't mind. I liked that about her… im staring to really like her already..

we talked for a while more.. I talked more. She was about to speak when I heard a girl calling my name.. shoot, I don't need this right now…

it was Lauren, one of the girls I'm seeing… well more than seeing… haha

she came over our table. She seemed giddy seeing me there. I didn't tell her I was going here because I have this thing with Tanya, another girl I was seeing later that night. Ofcourse they have no clue I was seeing both of them at the same time.

I didn't want Bella to see this,I tried my best to look good for her. I don't want her to see the real me. It would only make it harder for me to get her.

I asked Bella to scoot over so that I could talk to Lauren. I don't want her to hear us.

"I'm sorry I did not call you, it was just all of a sudden.. You know I'm sorry" she seemed to buy that.. stupid as ever…

"Ow baby you know I will always forgive you".. with that, she kissed me fervently. Man, it would be hard to get Bella now.,. but Im a man, what can I say. I kissed her eagerly making her knees weak. Man she's hot, with those clothes…

I caressed her back while kissing her. I know that would make her moan more…

After the kiss, she asked me to come over, I would have if I hadn't made plans with Tanya earlier. My phone vibrated and I looked immediately to know who it was. I tried not to let Lauren see who was calling me. yep, its Tanya.

I immediately looked at Emmett trying to send a message to him to make Lauren leave. He knew me al to well that I don't need to voice out what I meant.

"Ah… Lauren, I'm sorry honey but can Edward get tonight off? I mean he's supposed to teach me… uh… he's supposed to come with me do something tonight. We already planned it way ahead and I can't cancel it."

Nice one Em, he is a total life saver.

"Where are you going?" she asked, clueless as ever

"Band Practice",…. "Meeting some friends..!"

Shoot, im totally screwed now. "Uhmp.. We're meeting some friends at band practice, babe"

I had to use my charm to get out of this situation, so I traced my hand to her cheeks, using my "dazzling" smile at her. She bought it! Could this girl get any more gullible?

After she left, I thanked Emmett for taking my back

"No, Tanya" I told him after he asked who it was on the phone.

Among all the girls I'm with, I'm more into Tanya, she has something the other girls don't have… she does amazing things with her…. mouth… (you know what I mean)

After I called Tanya, I looked over to Bella. Her mood seemed to shift from earlier. Now, she seemed pissed. Was she pissed at me? is it because of what she saw? Dammit I think I lost my chance at her… I guess I have to try a little harder now…

All throughout the evening, she remained silent, answering some questions the others threw at her quickly, totally avoiding to look at me. she seemed pissed alright.

I mean, what does she expect?

After our late lunch, we decided to head off to our dorm to rest after an exhausting day.

I need to make this up to Bella now. I want her and I need to step the pace a little higher. So

The boys paid, something Bella opposed to by the way, and we're off to our cars.

Why is like this? Most girls would love guys to pay, heck., they love anything free… this girl really have me hooked…

As we sat up, I immediately went over to her side, wanting to talk to her again. But when I looked at her, she still looked pissed… what's wrong with her?

"did you had a great time?" I asked her trying to make her loosen up a bit

she just nodded, still not looking at me. okay, I have to try harder…

when we were about to get to the door, I placed my palm on her back trying to lead her outside. The moment I touched her, she flinched, and moved forward to avoid me.

wait! What?what does this girl want?? Im about to lose my mind here, trying to know what she was thinking. She was very in to me awhile ago and now she's trying to avoid me? I don't get it!

Okay, maybe she got pissed over Lauren, but what did she expect? Maybe I just need to act nice again.. she'll come around. They always do.

"uhmp…" I said thinking of what to say as we got to our cars

"do you want to ride with me back to the dorm?" I asked, making my "dazzling smile" at her.

She looked at me, emotion wiped away from her face. "No, id rather go back with the girls, thanks"

Im totally screwed. She's really pissed!! Im trying really hard for this girl! Who does she think she is? I didn't have to work this hard for any girl before… why would she be any different??

"fine…" I said rather a bit rude… I cant help myself , I'm too frustrated trying hard for her.

I sped back to the dorm and went to my room immediately, not managing to talk to guys on the way back.

Who does this Bella girl think she is? Giving me these mixed signals! One moment she was in to me, the next thing I know, she's pissed! I really don't get her.. but I want her!! She's the only girl who refused me! argh! It makes me frustrated! I have to know her, make her mine.. no one has ever rejected me!

Lets just see about that… tomorrow, I'll try my very best to get to her that she would not have the choice to refuse me. she'll see… let the games begin…

BPOV

I tried my very best not to let him get to me. It took almost all of my energy to try and be rude to him. When he asked me to ride with him back, I said no. I don't want him.. though my heart tells me otherwise

I lied on my bed, contemplating on the events of the day. Edward truly disappointed me. when I first saw him, when I talked to him, he seemed perfect, someone I wanted to get to know, someone I want to take a chance with. But to my disappointment, he was like the others… he was exactly like HIM…

As I lied on my bed, I fought hard not to let the tears fall, knowing that I'm not alone in the room. I looked across me and noticed that the girls were already asleep. I can't take it anymore so I went to the bathroom. The moment I closed the door, I couldn't hold it anymore. I locked the door behind me and fell to the linoleum floor, crying silently.

Remembering how Edward looked at me before made me feel nice, made me feel safe, like he would not dare to hurt me. His eyes showed the sincerity that he wanted to know me, to truly know me. the moment I realized that he was like any other guy, my heart broke. there goes my chance of forgetting the man who tear my heart apart.

Sitting there at the cold floor, made me think again of the painful experience with the guy who I thought truly loved me. what he did to me bore a whole deep in my heart and no matter what I did, the whole just wouldn't close…

Flashback

I have been with Robert for two years now and tonight he's taking me to senior prom. Apparently, today was also our second year anniversary and the day could not get any better. I picked out a dress a few weeks back. Since I saved up for this dress, I bought a quite reasonably nice dress. I wanted to look good for him.

The dress was blue, something he told me I looked good in, saying that it made my skin glow even more. I smiled remembering that.

After a long warm shower, I got dressed, put on a small amount of make up, just accentuating my eyes and my lips, put on my "not too high" heels, I didn't want to ruin the night with my clumsiness. I was so excited that I was shaking while I put on my heels.

Tonight needs to be special, extra special. After much thinking, I decided that tonight would be the night that I give myself fully to Robert. We have talked about having sex for quite some time now. I told him that I wanted to do it after I get married, being old fashioned and all. I want to give my virginity to someone I truly loved. Sharing that special moment with one person I want to spend the rest of my life with. At this moment, that person was Robert. I love him. I would do anything for him. It might sound cheesy but as long as he's happy, I am happy. I don't need to wait now, I love him and I want to show him how much.

Also, I decided that tonight would be the night since I realized that the longer we waited, the more things got complicated between us. We have pushed our physical boundaries many times. However, we haven't gotten pass touching each other. Making out with him was awesome. But as time passes, we got more and more sexually frustrated. He doesn't mind though. He was patient with that kind of stuff. When I stop, he stops, though I could see it in his eyes that we wanted more. He respected my decision, the gentleman that he is.

Robert is a year older than me and since I am a senior, he is already in college, studying at WU. It made our time together limited but I tried not to complain for I know it would only make our situation worse. I tried to be contented at what we have. We called each other everyday, he comes home to visit me during the weekends and we would spend the whole weekend together. It was perfect. And tonight, he decided to take me to my senior prom though he wasn't in high school anymore. This made me love him even more.

He called me earlier this morning telling me that he has a surprise waiting for me. I hate surprises but as long as its from him, I didn't mind. I was so excited that I nearly fell off the stairs as soon as the door bell rang.

I tried to steady myself and carefully opened the door. I was caught off guard when I saw the figure in front of me.

Robert was gorgeous, I couldn't deny that. He was tall, well built and had this smile that makes my knees weak even after two years of being together. I loved everything about him. His smile, the way he touches me, the way he cares for me. I couldn't complain one bit.

My cheeks immediately blushed as I saw him gave me that breath taking smile when he saw me. even after the long tome we've been together, he still manages to do things tome that no one else would. He took my waist and immediately kissed me with so much passion I thought I would faint.

"Happy anniversary love" he breathed on my ear, after letting gasp for air.

"Happy anniversary" and he kissed me once more

"Ahem…" I heard my father cough making us break away from our kiss.

"Good Evening Mr. Swan, Mrs. Swan.." he politely said to my parents.

My parents liked Robert. Everyone does. After taking like a thousand pictures, courtesy of my lovable mother, we were off to prom.

We sat at his car, comfortably silent all throughout the drive. He was holding my hand all the way to school, something I couldn't complain one bit. After arriving at school, he took me again and kissed me once more, knocking the breath out of me.

"what was that for?" I asked after regaining my breath

"For looking like that.." he eyed my dress with fire in his eyes, still holding me tightly by the waist.

"I should say the same to you Mr. Dazzling" I kissed him again.


"if you keep doing that, I might want to get you out of here and give you my surprise already…" he teased me, with that perfect smirk on his lips.

"Lets get inside and get this over with so that we could get to your surprise already…" I said pecking his lips once more.

We went inside the gym, and went to sit t our table. Our friends met us and after a few chat…

"May I have this dance??" he playfully kneeled in front of me taking my hand

"You know I don't dance love," I said, frowning at him

"Its all in the leading babe" with that, he took my hand and led me to the dance floor.

Sweet music was playing in the background. I placed both of my hands around his neck while he tightly placed his around my waist. We swayed to the music while looking into each other's eyes.

The way he looked at me, made my eyes water. I could see the love in his eyes, like we were the only ones in the room. He held me tighter, as if we weren't close enough. I did not complain to that. After a few moments, I kissed him, passionately, not able to take the emotion that was building inside my chest. I kissed him letting all the love I felt for him flow through that kiss. After a long moment, we pulled away, gasping for air. He placed his head at the crook of my neck, exhaling there, making me shiver with passion.

"I love you so much" I said while stroking his long hair.

"I love you too." Placing a kiss on my neck

"Let's get out of here, I couldn't take it anymore. I don't want these people to see what I want to do to you dressed like that." He said licking his lips.

"okay," I said, while giggling like a child.

We got into his car, him still holding my hand while driving.

He parked the car in not too far away from the school. The place was deserted, but not creepy at the same time. I couldn't feel afraid, knowing that Robert was with me. I could go anywhere as long as he's with me.

"Lets sit out back" he said as we got out of the car, and went to the back seat.

He immediately devoured my lips as soon as we sat. he kissed me like he hasn't kissed me before. Touching every part of me he could. My hips, my face,… the pressure was building up inside me that I could take it anymore.

I guess he sensed what I wanted and he stopped, making me breathe. As soon as I gasped for air, he took my face in his. He looked at me and I could see his emotions through his eyes.

Lust, passion, love… these was all I saw in his eyes. We looked at each other for a long moment. I need to make my plan work. We were on our side then, I took him off guard. I placed both of my knees around his legs, straddling him. I lifted my dress a bit, feeling how hard he was between my core. I grounded my hips to him eliciting a moan from him. We were still looking at each other then.

I need to feel his lips once more. I was about to erase the distance between us, but he backed away, taking my face in his hands. I didn't expect that. I felt rejected, I looked at my palms, trying to avoid his gaze.

He lifted my chin, making me look at him.

"I thought this is what you wanted? Tears threatening to spill any moment.

"I do, love, I do. I just have to give you my surprise first." The moment he said that, the rejection I felt was replace with excitement.

"Okay" was all I managed to say, feeling like an idiot for jumping into conclusion.

He reached for his pocket and took out a small box. I gasped as soon as I saw it. The tears of rejection from earlier spilled across my cheeks. But the tears now were not from rejection, but from happiness. He was going to propose? I couldn't believe it. Did he love me that much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me?

I was crying hard now, and he hasn't even spoken yet.

"I wanted this to be more romantic but I don't have enough time. Isabella Marie Swan? The moment I saw you, you already captured my heart. You are perfect, exquisite, wonderful. I couldn't think of any other word to describe how beautiful you are. You are everything to me and I love you so much." He opened the box and it wasn't what I expected. It wasn't a diamond ring. In the box was a silver ring, with a crystal blue stone embedded around it. It was perfect and I could not ask for anything more.

"This is not an engagement ring, not yet. This is a promise ring. This ring represents my promise to you. From this day on, I promise to love you, take care of you, adore you. This ring will hold a promise. A promise that one day, when both of us are ready, I will take your hand and make you my wife. I love you so much and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to be true to you and keep you safe. I am yours and you are mine, forever."

The tears flowed freely now. I couldn't think of anything to say after that. He place the ring on my left finger and kissed it. I couldn't make any coherent words, different kinds of emotion flowed through me now. He promised to make me his… I couldn't agree with him more. I love him and I want to be with him, forever.

As soon as he kissed my finger, I immediately kissed him, deeply. I kissed him like ive never kissed him before, letting my emotions fill the kiss. When I gasped for air, I kissed every part of him that I could, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose, his neck. I couldn't get enough of him.

This night could not have been any more perfect. What I planned earlier could not have fit perfectly to the situation. As soon as we broke apart, I stared right into his eyes and started unbuttoning his shirt. His vest was discarded earlier. He watched me intently as I tried to take his shirt off.

Once his muscled chest was visible, I immediately planted wet kisses anywhere my lips could reach making him moan with pleasure. I kissed his lips once again and this time, he went over to reach the back of my dress, letting the zipper flow slowly down my spine. He did this urgently, making me chuckle with his impatience.

As soon as the dress was off, he started kissing my shoulders, way down to my breasts, making me arch my back in pleasure. He cupped one of my breasts with his palm while he sucked lightly on the other. I couldn't get enough as I placed my hand on his hair, tugging him closer to my body.

He became more urgent as he went to suck on my other breast. That nearly sent me over the edge. I wanted more, I needed more. I thrust my hips on his erection making me moan while he was busy with my breast. I needed the friction, I needed release. Just as if he could read my mind, he met my thrusts making his hips sway in rhythm with mine.

I needed to taste him once more so I grabbed his head and kissed him. Our tongues played around each other fighting for dominance. I let him win, making him take over. I didn't mind one bit. As long as he's satisfied, so am I.

We managed to remove all of our clothing now and as we stared at each other, completely naked. Even though we were sitting, me straddling him, he managed to take his clothes off. I would have thought of another more romantic place to make love to him, but we couldn't wait anymore.

I was beginning to feel uncomfortable then feeling the wetness between my thighs. I could feel him fully hard under me as well and there is not much left to do. As if he could sense what I was feeling, he asked…

"I don't have a… uhmp… I didn't think we would be…" he said awkwardly looking at me

"You don't have to worry love, I'm on the pill."

"So you planned this huh?" he said a playful smile across his lips.

"Oh I dreamed of it, plus, it does great with my skin" I replied, wanting him to get inside me already.

"Are you ready?" he asked placing both his hands in between my face

"Yes…" with that, he placed the tip of his erection at my center while I buried my face in his neck.

Slowly, he pushed himself in me. I winced in pain but I did not want him to see that. It was too painful, I nearly cried… but I told my self to suck it in, knowing that I was giving him pleasure.

He thrust slowly in me, still adjusting knowing that I was still tight. He moaned as soon as he was fully inside me. he moved himself in me carefully not wanting to hurt me in the process.

"Bella, look at me…" he said and I obeyed.

We looked at each other while his pace slightly quickened. After a few more thrusts, the pain started to subside, making me feel pleasure rather than pain. When I got accustomed to his size, is started to meet his thrust with the sway of my hips. He kissed me passionately while keeping one hand firmly on my waist and the other cupping my breast.

We were panting heavily now, as we quickened our tempo. I thought that touching each other was pleasurable enough but him inside was far too much…

"Touch me Robert..." I said wanting to feel his hands rub against my center. I know that would make me fall over the edge quicker but I needed his touch.

He obeyed and rubbed his fingers along my already soaking center making me arch my back even more. The feeling was too much that I suddenly felt a notch inside my stomach threatening to loose any moment.

His thrusts came faster and shorter as he breathed heavily. "I love you so much, Bella" he said as he continued his pace.

"I love you too" and with a couple of deep thrusts, I came undone. It was a feeling I didn't expect. It's like I was riding high up and suddenly falling with a feeling far beyond comparison… pure ecstasy. I closed my eyes arching my back even more when I came. I rode out my orgasm as he came undone right after me. We were breathing heavily now, trying to recover our breaths. I collapsed above him, kissing his neck along the process.

"That was amazing" he said kissing me fully once again.

"I love you" after a few moments, trying to recover, we noticed the time and we needed to get home. We got dressed and headed home. It was a Saturday and he needed to get back to campus because he had finals on Monday. It hurt knowing that he had to leave after what we had shared that night. He dropped me off at home. We were standing at the porch now, holding each other's hand

"I hate to leave you now, after that" he said, pain in his eyes.

"I know, it kills me that you have to go. I love you so much and I don't regret every second of it."

"I could say the same to you. You were amazing love and its hard for me not to want more of that now." He said wiggling his eyebrows upward, teasing me.

"I guess you just have to visit more often then" I giggled wanting to tease him a bit. Two can play the game.

"Oh ill come by more often then. I think ill just drop out of school so I can spend each day with you" he kissed me on the lips, not long enough for my liking.

"there's nothing I love more than making love to you each and every day but you have school"

"Bummer.." I had to laugh at that

"As much as I hate you leaving,…" I pecked him on the lips… "You need to go. I don't want you driving alone in the middle of the night"

"Yeah, I love you so much Bella, remember my promise" he said as he looked me deep in the eyes

"Always.. I love you too" with one last kiss, he got into his car and drove away.

My heart sank seeing him go. I wanted to spend more time with him, after what we had shared tonight. I needed him now. I went up to my room, and decided to take a warm bath. I felt sore, having been stretched inside. I didn't mind the pain, I wanted it. I enjoyed every moment of this night. He promised to make me his wife and I couldn't be any happier. I love him and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

After getting dressed and off to bed, I immediately dozed to sleep, feeling tired of the previous event. I dreamt of him, waiting for me, while I walk down the aisle. Seeing his glowing face made me want to run to his arms. He wore my favorite smile as he held out his arms to me… I could not wish anything more.,.

The next few weeks came as a blur. Robert became more and more busy with school, with his finals and all. We hardly got to talk over the phone. He also visited frequently saying that he had study groups for the weekend. It was killing me being apart from him for far too long.

I'll visit him this weekend I said to myself. I wanted to surprise him.

After lunch, I'm off to WU after talking to my parents about my plans. I was so excited I was jumping off my seat. The drive was not that long and I packed my bag knowing that I would stay over until Sunday. He would freak out when he saw me there and I plan to make him happy all through out the weekend.

I parked in front of the campus and gathered my stuff. I immediately headed to the dorms trying to find out where his room is. He told me before where his room was teasing me, telling me that in case I wanted to visit. I laughed at that memory…

As soon as I ended up in front of his room, I took a deep breath before going in. he told me that he didn't have any room mate which was great. I don't need anyone interrupting us for what I have in store for him.

Another deep breath and I walked in, not minding to knock, wanting to surprise him.

As soon as I laid my eyes on the figures that were on the bed, I gasped. My heart sank deep down as if it went to hell and not coming back.

Robert was on top of a blonde chick, breathing heavily while he pounded on her. The sounds they were making were loud enough that they did not even recognize me walking in on them. my breathing stopped as if the air was knock out of my chest. I wanted to yell at him, throw things at him, anything!!

All I managed to say was his name, whimper is more of a description.

"Robert…" I said, tears flowing rapidly down my cheeks now…

They stopped immediately and looked at me, shocked.

He quickly got off the slut under her and wrapped himself with the blanket

"Bella, this is..."

"You cheating on me!!" I yelled not loud enough to let the people across the room to hear.

"Bella, let me explain" he said while he put on his boxers reaching for me

"It's over…" was all I managed to say, taking the ring he gave me and throwing it on the ground.

I stormed out of his room as fast as I could as if I was being chased by a pack of hungry wolves. I wanted to leave, I wanted to disappear right that moment. Anything to make the pain coursing through my chest subside.

Robert, the love of my life… the man who swore to love me, take care of me, and make me his was a lousy, evil, good for nothing cheater. I wanted to hurt him, to make him feel the hurt that he's caused me. I cannot grasp the idea that he, after the million times he swore he loved me and adored me… all of it was a lie… a lie that I would regret believing for the rest of my life.

The thing that I regret the most was I gave myself to him. I gave my whole heart, not leaving anything for myself. I gave him the whole me, and now, I don't know if I am able to take back.

I ran and ran as I reached my truck. I wasted no time and pushed the key inside and let it thunder to life. I did not look back. I did not want to. It would only make me feel worse… but I don't think that I would feel any worse than what I am feeling now.

He tried to stop me, running after my truck, but I dared not to look back. I want his face to be erased from my mind. I wanted him out of my mind…. Impossible I know, but I want to try.

I arrived at home, not really caring about my parents. I got out of my truck, eyes red and swollen from crying and went immediately to my room.

"Honey what's wrong?" I heard my mom called but I did not look at them.

I just went inside my room and locked the door. As soon as the door was locked behind me, I fell to the floor. Placing my face in my hands, I cried, and cried, and cried for what seems like forever. I didn't realize how long I was sitting there crying. I didn't care that my parents were pounding at my door, I didn't care that the sun was starting to rise out of my window. I just sat there, wanting to numb the feeling in my heart, wanting to rip my heart of my chest and throw it out the window.

How could I be so stupid? He lied to me and I let him… I loved him and this is what he does to me. I gave him me… all of me and he just played with it, did he really loved me?

The tears threaten to fall once more and I fought it. I got up, even though moving seemed impossible and went over to my bed. I didn't bother taking off my clothes, even my shoes. I just laid there, on my side, staring out the window.

It seemed like forever, me lying there. I didn't bother to eat, get up or even get dressed. Sleep crept up to me frequently but I fought it. My dreams only involved him, and me… walking down the aisle. I hated it. I tried not to let sleep take over knowing that its his face ill see.

Days passed but I could not care less. I lay there, wanting to make every tick of the clock stop. I knew that if I let time pass, it would only make the pain grow, knowing that it would crawl back again to me. every heart beat was like a sharp knife, piercing my heart open, like the wound cant get any deeper… I held myself together, clutching my knees, as if it would glue me in once piece… I wanted to disappear, to die…


End of Flashback

The feeling came all rushing back to me, here at this cold bathroom. The tears that remained a remembrance of the pain Robert has caused me flowed freely down my cheeks now.

I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, I just let the tears fall knowing I couldn't fight them.

Edward, the one guy that I felt I could take a chance with, happened to be like Robert. I hated it, I didn't want this. I mustn't want this. I don't want to feel that excruciating pain once more, like I'm being torn alive. The pain in my chest is starting to really increase now, making me breath more heavily, knocking the breath out of me. The tears were now running like a warm rush of water fall. I didn't mind wiping them away, I couldn't move, I just wept….

I didn't feel numb now, the sight of Edward, knowing who he is, made the pain alive once more… like gash that Robert left in my heart was being forced open once again. Making it ache once more… forgetting seemed impossible now…

I was take out of my misery when I heard someone pounding on my door…

"Bella? Are you okay?" the voice said… I didn't want to answer, I just remained where I was not minding the one behind it.

"we're coming in!!" with that, the door went wide open, revealing two figures I cant quite decipher from the tears that drowned my vision…

a/n: quite a long chapter here… I just wanted to let you guys know who Robert was.. sorry for the name, I just couldn't use Jacob or James anymore,.,

Reviews please.. really appreciate it.. thanks!!