A/N: Howdy-hey, I'm baaack!
So sorry for not updating for a long time. I've had writer's block, and- you know how it is. ;)
DISCLAIMER: Private! Can ya do the disclaimer?
Private: Of course! itsalollapalooza23 doesn't own anything here that has been taken. She does own Miss Jacobs and some other stuff I can't remember. But she does NOT own Swiss piggy banks!
Me: Swiss piggy-? Oh chiz, I sense a new running gag here. ENJOY LE STORY!
21. Don't sign up Skipper for a sewing class. (Requested by K TheEpicPenguin)
"I'm telling you, it'll be fun. Heck, you'll be better than me by the time you finish!" Lolla urged.
Lolla had recently enrolled her brother in an arts and crafts class. She envisioned her and her brother, sketching and giving each other tips on how to be a better artist, as this was her current goal in life.
"No. I'm not going." Skipper said firmly.
Lolla squinted. "Flatheadedpenguinwho'llgotohisartsandcraftsclasss ayswhat?"
"What?"
"Excellent!" The Yorkie let out a wicked grin while Skipper groaned. She tugged her brother to the Zoovenir shop since the arts and crafts class was being held there. She burst through the door dramatically. Eleven pairs of eyes looked back at her.
Lolla exhaled, brushing her messy bangs out of her eyes. "Sorry we're late. My brother here—" She yanked her brother forward. "—tried to skip class today. Which is totally expectant, since his name is Skipper. I'm his younger sister, Lolla, and I'm here to drop him off. "
The stork –who was the teacher for the arts and crafts class—nodded and pushed her rimless glasses up her thin beak. "Thank you for joining us today, Skipper. Please have a seat."
Skipper grumbled and took a place in the second row, between a ten-year-old chipmunk with a missing tooth and an elderly squirrel.
"Toodle-loo, Skippah mah lad!" Lolla waved and sashayed out of the shop.
The stork blinked for a few seconds, then cleared her throat. "Good morning class. My name is Ruby Jacobs. You may call me Miss Jacobs. I will be your Arts and Crafts teacher.
"For today, our theme will be crafts. We will alternate between arts and crafts." Miss Jacobs continued. "Our lesson for today shall be sewing."
Say what? Skipper snapped out of his daydream about riding on a missile to the moon.
Meanwhile, Lolla was going back home, ready to spend the whole day watching TV. Well, at least until 3 PM, because that's when the Lunacorns show.
"NEE-EEDLE!"
Lolla cringed as the ear-splitting scream hit her sensitive dog ears. She ran back to the Zoovenir shop.
When she opened the door she saw Skipper running in a panicked way, screaming a seemingly unending chant of "NEEDLE NEEDLE NEEDLE GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"
Miss Jacobs walked up to her with the look that said "I can't believe you brought this nutcase in here".
"I believe he belongs to you?" She gestured a wing at the frenzied Skipper, who was knocking over the bags of cotton and running through pieces of cloth and thread. [1]
Lolla put two paws on her head and pulled on the fur.
"Why must he embarrass me so?" She whimpered.
22. Never turn out the lights of Kowalski's lab while he's in there experimenting. (Requested by Bml1997)
"So, if I mix this hydrochloric acid with the—Lolla! Stop flickering the lights!" Kowalski shouted.
Lolla pouted and stepped away from the switch. "But I'm trying to balance the switch between on and off!" [2]
"What the—?" Kowalski sighed. "Just don't do that. The light switch is old and it might get stuck in one position."
"That's ridiculous. Why didn't you just replace it?"
"We don't have the time or money!"
"Oh, you can bring Private to a Lunacorn musical but you can't get a new light switch?" Lolla remarked sarcastically.
"Whatever! Just—leave it alone, okay?"
"Fine." Lolla scowled. She scampered out of the lab.
A few hours later, Lolla walked near the door to the lab. Kowalski was still inside, absorbed in his task of experimenting.
She flicked the switch to off and immediately heard something spill and crash. She tried to flick it to on, but the switch was stuck in the off position, just as Kowalski said it would.
"LOLLA!"
Moral of the story, Lolla thought, hurriedly climbing the ladder leading to the zoo. Always listen to Kowalski.
23. Don't steal the chimps' chessboard. (Requested by Agent Bobcat)
Almost done! Lolla thought, beaming. She was trying to make a chair out of recycled things found in the zoo—"Go green!" she said every time someone asked her why. Now, all I need is a seat, she thought, standing up the supports which were made from old pieces of wood she found when some construction workers were renovating the zoo office.
A dictionary would be too heavy for the supports; a bulletin board was out of her reach; and she had no books which could fit.
Hm, that left one other option: the chimps' chessboard. She started heading to the hatch to obtain aforementioned object when—
"Lolla, what are you planning now?" Skipper called, not averting his gaze from the Sunday newspaper.
"What do you mean planning?" Lolla asked. "I'm just going out."
"And...?"
"Gonna enjoy the sun, maybe walk around a little." Lolla shrugged.
"Well, that's not too suspicious. But I have an eye on you."
"This coming from the penguin who's to busy reading the newspaper to make eye contact with me." Lolla rolled her eyes. "Bye."
"Bye."
It was still rather early, so not many animals were up yet, and that included Mason and Phil. When she reached their habitat, the two chimps were sound asleep. Mason was slumped on a tree branch and Phil was hanging in the tire swing. But where was the chessboard?
"Chessboard? Come out, come out wherever you are." Lolla said, as though it would make the search easier. She entered a small hole, barely large enough for the Yorkie to slip through. The cave was as large as the entire habitat. It was furnished with a net hammock hanging in the corner, and a shelf carved out of concrete occupying the left wall. The shelf was filled with thick books which seemed to weigh about as much as the Yorkie, antique globes that would make a good price in any auction, and a decrepit microscope which has seen better days.
"Oh hey, there it is." Lolla murmured, spying the chessboard placed on a high shelf. It even had a pedestal, complete with a spotlight.
Some people just prize their possessions way too much, Lolla thought, beginning to climb the tall shelf. She was careful to avoid knocking over things as she ascended. Stealing their chessboard was enough, ruining their stuff would result in immediate demise.
"Got it!" She grabbed the board with both paws, before realizing her mistake.
I am an idiot. That was the last thought Lolla recalled before she felt the cold, hard, unforgiving concrete slam against her back.
"Aaahhh. Ahhh. The paaaain." Lolla wheezed as she wobbled out of the cave, chessboard in paw.
"Hi Lolla! What's that?" Private asked as soon as Lolla returned.
"I—it's a board for my chair." Lolla rasped. The pain was still there, persistently lingering on her back.
"Okay." Private smiled. He frisked over to the fridge to get some Winkies.
Later that day, Lolla finished up her new chair. It worked flawlessly until...
"Have you seen our chessboard?" Mason asked calmly. Phil made angry gestures, anything but calm.
"Whoa, chessboard? What chessboard?" Skipper questioned suspiciously.
"Ours, of course!" exclaimed Mason. "It was not in it usual place."
"Then maybe you misplaced it." Private suggested helpfully. Mason shook his head.
"We always make sure we place it in the same predictable location day after day.
"Oh, well..." Private trailed off.
"May you grant us permission to have a look around your premises in case our chessboard may be within it?"
Skipper nodded briefly. "But don't get too close." He added.
The group—Mason, Phil, Skipper and Private—began looking in the lab, where Lolla was putting the finishing touches on her chair. The second the chimps saw their precious chessboard glued to recycled wood—it was a nightmare.
...
"As if a bruised back wasn't enough." Lolla whined.
"As they say, less talking, more scraping." Mason said. The little dog pouted and continued scraping off the hardened glue.
24. Don't ever invent in Kowalski's lab without asking. It leads to nasty results... STARRING THE REQUESTER... (Requested by starfire207)
Audrey Nguyen (better known as starfire207 in the Fanfiction world) was visiting her newly-discovered cousin Kowalski today.
"Hi Audrey!" greeted Lolla. The two were friends online (God bless !) and this was the first time they met each other in real life.
"Hi Lolla!" The penguin smiled. "So, where's Ko-ko?"
"He's out buying nachos cause he lost a bet to Rico."
"Bet?"
"Yeah! Rico bet Kowalski that if he couldn't give up watching documentaries for a week he'd buy nachos for everyone."
"Pfft, impossible."
"I know. So right now he's out."
"Okay." Audrey headed towards the lab.
"Where ya going?" Her friend questioned.
"I'm gonna try inventing in Ko-ko's lab, just to see why he loves it there so much."
"You know, I was wondering about that too. I'm coming with!"
Several minutes later...
That Rico, he specifically requested nachos because they're so expensive! There goes my monthly savings... Oh, he's so gonna get it next time, I swear it...! Kowalski grumbled, carrying several small trays of nachos.
Suddenly, a green rabbit with two pairs of ears, four pairs of eyes, frog's legs, and a dragon's tail zoomed by, cawing loudly.
"What the—?!" Kowalski sputtered. How could this be? Disasters like this only happened when he was in the lab inventing, but he wasn't obviously. Then, he remembered that his cousin Audrey "Poison Ivy" Nguyen was visiting today. In some twisted way, Lolla and Audrey have already met and befriended each other. He couldn't blame them; they were very similar, especially in the "troublemaker" and "pest" departments. It would be highly likely for them to be the cause of this mess... but how?
Kowalski belly slid all the way back to the HQ, careful to keep the nachos from falling. As soon as he reach said destination, he quickly placed the nachos on the table (which Skipper, Private and Rico graciously began to eat) and dashed into his lab.
Penguin and dog were hiding in the corner. Kowalski came up to them.
"What. Did. You. DO?!" Kowalski yelled, then ducked to avoid getting hit by a ladder-microwave hybrid.
"We, uh, did some experimenting." Audrey said meekly.
"And it kinda went wrong."
"I knew this was a bad idea from the start..." Kowalski mumbled.
25. If you hear Kowalski say "Eureka!" get out of there as soon as possible. (Requested by Peach Italian Ice)
"Eureka!" Kowalski's voice rang loudly in the HQ.
"Oh no..." groaned Skipper. "Evacuate!"
"Evacuate? Why now?" Lolla asked. "I'm in the middle of doing my Digi Arts project!"
"Then bring your laptop with you; wouldn't want it to be destroyed, huh?"
Lolla snorted. "Please. It'll survive."
Skipper shrugged. "Whatever you say. Now let's get the heck out of here!
"Men! Commence Operation: Detonation Evacuation Situation!"
"Excellent codename." Lolla observed.
"Oh shut up. Move out and get away from here ASAP!"
The team quickly obeyed and instantly arrived in a safe location away from the HQ—behind a tree in the park.
"Why do you insist on doing this?" Lolla asked.
"Whenever Kowalski shouts 'Eureka!' like that, there's always gonna be a disaster and/or explosion involved." Skipper explained.
"Oh really?"
BOOM!
"Told you so." Skipper smirked.
The team went back to the HQ.
"Wow. That's the biggest explosion yet!" wondered Private.
Indeed, the explosion was so large it obliterated the entire HQ, even until the path.
"OH CHIZ!" Lolla cried out when she saw the now-ruined HQ. She immediately ran for her laptop, which was severely damaged, but could be repaired.
Kowalski randomly fell from the sky, his whole body covered in soot.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Lolla screamed at him, shaking him back and forth.
"I—" Kowalski took out his clipboard, and chuckled. "I forgot to add five when I was multiplying the most important variables of the equation."
"My laptop!"
Kowalski inspected the laptop. "Hm, it can be fixed. I'll fix it. But it's so damaged that it might take several months, maybe even a year."
"Well, if it's gonna be fixed, I guess I can deal with it." Lolla hesitantly agreed.
Ten minutes later...
"So... little... things... to do. Needs... technology..." Lolla sat in the corner, twitching.
"I told you to bring your laptop. Did you listen? No!" Skipper retorted.
26. Don't play with Ms. Perky. (Requested by Bml1997)
Private was sitting at the table in the HQ, bored to the point of counting the number of keys on Lolla's netbook [3]. The Lunacorns didn't show until 3 PM, and that was two hours from now. And there was no one to talk with, except Lolla and Kowalski, but both were too busy and they hated being bothered when they were busy.
Wandering his eyes further he spotted Ms. Perky, Rico's beloved doll. He stood up and walked over to her. Her bright blue eyes shimmered prettily, and her blond hair shone in the light. He picked her up and began playing with her.
"Hi Ms. Perky, how are you doing today?" He asked.
"Oh, I'm fine Private. How about you?" He replied in a higher pitch to represent Ms. Perky.
"I'm sad and lonely and bored."
"Oh, don't worry Private. I'm always there for you to talk to."
"Really? Thanks a lot Ms. Perky!"
Around an hour later, Rico and Skipper returned from Operation: Snowcone MDCLXII (1,642).
And, unluckily, Rico saw Private talking to Ms. Perky. He apparently thought Ms. Perky would rather spend time with the rookie than with him, and that angered him. Angered him deeply.
"NO ONE PLAY WI'H MS. PERKY!"
Private dropped Ms. Perky and bolted.
"Ms. Perky!" Rico caught the doll and dipped her down, kissing her passionately.
Private, Skipper and Lolla made faces.
"That's cute, maybe." Lolla remarked awkwardly.
27. Don't comment on Joey's pouch. (Requested by Agent Bobcat)
"Hello neighbor!"
Joey the kangaroo cringed as the loud and decidedly annoying voice hit his eardrums.
"Joey don't got no time for you." He replied stonily.
Apparently, Julien – the self-proclaimed "King of the Lemurs"—couldn't take a hint. He leaped over to Joey's habitat.
"Hey, Joey," began Julien. "I am not having noticed how, well, big your pouchy-pouch-pouch is."
"Don't. Comment. On. The. Pouch." Joey said through gritted teeth.
Julien ignored him and reached inside, startling Joey. The king pulled out a comic book, a bag of unpopped popcorn, some maracas, a jade necklace (which Julien had proceeded to wear much to Joey's chagrin), and a variety of other random stuff.
"Wow, Joey, your pouchy-pouch-pouch is the most awesomest thing ever!" exclaimed Julien.
"STOP COMMENTING ON THE POUCH!" Joey screamed in a fit of anger, irritation and exasperation. With a mighty kick he sent the king up and out of his habitat.
...
"Never ever comment on the crazy kangaroo's pouch. That's what I am having learnt." Julien replied to Lolla as Maurice treated the king's broken bones.
"Yes, I see, go on." The Yorkie scrawled down more notes in her notebook, resembling a psychiatrist.
28. Don't ever mention spies or Dr. Blowhole around Skipper unless you want him to paranoia-freak on you. (Requested by Peach Italian Ice)
"...So, as you can see, this invention shoots out bowling balls at the top speed of 23 kilometers per hour!" Kowalski continued. He was demonstrating his latest invention to the others.
"Please," scoffed Lolla, de-motivating her brother as usual. "Blowhole can make go at 30 kph."
"Since when did you become a Blowhole fangirl?" questioned the intellectual penguin.
"No way! I'm just comparing you."
"Jerk."
"Heck, Blowhole's spies can make that chiz go 100 kph if you wanted them to!"
"You know, you shouldn't be talking about potential weapons because Blowhole's spies might be eavesdropping on us right now!" Skipper screamed.
"Uh, no. I was just using his name in a sentence. That doesn't mean that he's actually eavesdropping on us." Lolla said in an attempt to calm her brother down.
"Once you mention it, there's no going back." Her brother replied with an insane expression written on his face. "Oh, I can imagine him now, laughing at us, saying that he could do better. Ha ha, so what? Us penguins can do anything! He is not superior to us! Oh ho ho, he has no idea of what we go through. Mentally challenged squirrels, killer kangaroos, low batteries, cold showers, spies... that's just the tip of the tip of the tip of the iceberg."
As Skipper ranted on and on (and on!), Kowalski faceflippered.
"Remind me to never mention Blowhole or spies around him," muttered Lolla, who was busily ripping up pieces of paper to stuff in her ears.
29. Don't say Becky and Stacy are "badgering". (Requested by Agent Bobcat)
"Hi Lolla!"
"What're you—"
"—doing today?"
"Oh, hey guys." The Yorkie greeted the two badgers.
"So—" Becky began.
"—do you have any plans for today?" finished Stacy.
"Well, uh, no." Lolla shrugged.
"Yay!" cheered the badgers.
"We're gonna have a super spontaneous outing today."
"Wanna come?"
"Uh, sure." Lolla agreed.
To summarize the next four hours:
"Ooh! Let's go hang-gliding!"
"NO! HELP ME!"
"Yum, ice cream!"
"I don't even like this flavor."
"POTATOES!"
"SALSA!"
"TANGO! Let's tango!"
"Shut up!"
(In case you didn't get the dialogue sequence: Stacy, Lolla, Becky, Lolla, Becky, Stacy, Becky, Lolla.)
On any other day Lolla would treasure this particular outing, but, put simply, she was already having a bad day before she even saw the two badgers.
"You're gonna come with us to our next outing right?"
"Please! Sometimes it kinda gets boring with just the two of us!"
"You know what they say—"
"—the more the merrier!"
"It's so much better with three!"
"I agree!"
"Ooh, that rhymed!"
"Hooray!"
"Aw, you killed it."
"Oh, sorry."
"Rhyme killer!"
"I said I was sorry!"
"Ugh, will you two badgering big mouths shut up?!" Lolla snapped.
There was a deathly pause, then—
"Badgering?" spat Becky.
"You think we badger you? Huh? Huh?" dared Stacy.
"Calm down sis, Lolla here has just been infected by Marlene," said Becky.
"Infected? What do you mean—?" Lolla questioned.
"Ugh! Can't people just stop with the badger stereotypes?!" wailed Stacy.
"Let's just teach her a lesson then," decided Becky.
The now-angry badgers cornered the frightened Lolla, who was begging for mercy and apologizing relentlessly. But said apologies and begs fell upon deaf ears.
...
"Day 10: I am still staying inside and not going out, just in case those badgers are out there, ready to teach me another lesson..." Lolla whispered to her tape recorder, lying in a hammock hanging from a ceiling.
"Only a half-brained dunderhead would tangle with the badgers," remarked Kowalski. Skipper faceflippered in shame and humiliation.
30. Never take Julien's boomy-box. (Requesteed by Bml1997)
"You know that it doesn't matter as long as we have each other. Turn it up, turn it up, mash it up, it ain't the end of the world—"
BANG! (That was the sound of a door being slammed open, not a gunshot.)
"LOLLA! TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC!" screamed Skipper. He paused, noticing that it wasn't Lolla's netbook which was the source of the music (it usually was), but a radio. Ringtail's radio.
"Lolla," he began. "Why do you have Ringtail's radio with you?"
His younger sister shrugged. "I saw it lying around last night and took it. He won't mind, after all." She added.
Before Skipper could reply, Maurice burst into the HQ.
"Uh, guys, you'd better see this." He gestured topside. (Strangely, he didn't notice the radio.)
The penguins and Lolla now stood in the lemur's habitat. Before them lay Julien. He was huddled on the ground shivering, mumbling to himself "Needs... music... cannot... make it..."
"His radio's been missing since this morning—or even before that," explained Maurice.
"It is not called a 'radio'!" Julien suddenly interrupted, making air quotes. "It is a boomy-box! My boomy-box..."
The penguins cast glances at Lolla. Then, after a certain amount of pressure and staring, she finally cracked.
"All right, all right! I took his... 'boomy-box'. And I'm sorry and all..." She avoided eye-contact with the distressed king.
"YOU WHAT?!" Julien roared.
...
"All right, I know you get into these sorts of situations frequently, but come on! This is the fifth accident this week! Fifth! Unbelievable!" Kowalski rambled as he treated Lolla.
A/N: So, this is way short, but I did the best I can. Thanks for reading guys!
Me: See Private? No Swiss piggy banks here!
Private: There's always next chapter...
Me: Whatever you say. Oh, and it's okay if you don't review with rules; kudos to Agent Bobcat because they sent in a TON of rules, and I still have enough material to get started on another chapter.
PASTAAAA~!
My Answer to the Last Chapter's Question:
Duhhh, the togetherness, the love! That magical feeling! As stated on my profile, I love Christmas!
Question of the Chapter:
What do you do if you have a serious case of writer's block?
[1]. The project the class was making is a pillow, which is an actual project at my school. I hate sewing. TT_TT (No offense to you sewaholics out there, but it's just not my thing.)
[2]. Who else did this before? xD
[3]. Without looking, try guessing how many keys are on your keyboard! :)
Happy End of the World Day!
