I still have no proprietary ownership...damn
Here's some good old fashion mystery+comedy for ya...PLEASE REVIEW!
Chapter 4: What The Who Now?
Sound asleep in his bed, Jake was dreaming about hm and Rose...and not the several acts of grand theft auto he committed just hours earlier
"Jake...Oh Jakers." Jake annoyed opened his eyes then checked his clock.
"What the-10 o'clock, I'm late for school!" Jake jumped from bed and dashed out right past his father
"Whoa whoa, easy there sport, you don't have school today, all the schools in Manhattan are shut down." Johnathon said
"Why snow day?"
"No, looting day, apparently last night a horde of "zombiefied" children went on a on a five-finger-discount spree last night, oh it was terrible son, the police were all over the place, that's no one has school today."
"Zombies...ha, get real dad, I think you've been playing my games too hard."
"Well if you don't believe me, just check the news."
"Okay I will." Jake put his shirt on and turned on the news
"That's right Dan I'm standing here on scenic Canal Street near China Town one of the worst streets hit by these so called zombie children, local shop owners claimed in the dead of night mobs of these possessed teenagers went on a stealing rampage stealing only Apple based Ipod related items, several stereo systems by Killer-sounds, over 15 imported and domestic sports cars, and for some reason doughnuts, definitely the work of teenagers." "Officials claim this was the worst riot disaster in the United States, since the Los Angeles race riots of April-and early May 1992, I'm standing here with local electronic store owner Luong Lao-Shi, a Chinese immigrant who has owned Canal Street Electronics since 1986." "Tell us sir, what exactly happened last night?"
"Oh it was terrible, they stole all my Ipods, and a Killer stereo system, and broke all my windows."
"Tragic."
"Oh grandpa, Dad I gotta go to grandpas." Jake said heading for the door
"Good call Jakeroony, he could use some company." With that Jake left and dashed towards the shop. The news crew had left when he got there "Gramps, you okay?"
"Of course young one." he said calmly sweeping up some broken glass
"Jesus, what the hell happened?" Jake asked scanning the store
"Zombies kid, that's what." Fu said
"What's the damage?" Jake asked
"$3,547 in total property loss and damages to the store and windows." he sighed
"Oh gramps, I'm sorry."
"Ah, it's alright young one, I've rebuilt this store before, I'll rebuild it again." "But, we must put our investigation with 88 and 89 on hold till we can find who made this happen, no way this was done on their own accord."
"Right." the rest of the gang, minus Spud, charged into the shop, and gasped
"My God." Niko said unhappy "They did this?"
"Over $3,500 in loss and damages." Lao Shi informed them
"...UGH...GOD DAMN!" Nick yelled stomping the ground
"Ugh, this is terrible." Rose exclaimed picking up a fallen display case.
"Need some help with the cleaning gramps?" Trixie asked
"Thank you..." they got to work "By the way, where is Spud?"
"Actually, he's starting today at Dip This." Trixie smirked
"Wonder how that's going for him?" Fu pondered
Well I'll tell ya. Here it is SuperTrooper fans, a ADJL remake of the liter of cola scene. The reason why I'm doing this is because the cashier guy is the same guy who voices Spud...Anyway Spud was being briefed by the manager.
"Alright Spud, this is your domain, the cash register, you take orders, you take cash, you make change." Mr. Schneider the manager said
"Sounds easy enough."
"And remember, always-"
"Always ask them about the dipisize."
"You'll do fine, welcome to Dip This Spud." he walked off
"Hey, I'm Tony the main cook, nice to have ya aboard, cool name by the way."
"Thanks."
"And hey, whenever a cop asks you for an order, tell me over the speaker, so I'll spit in their burger."
"Nice, I'm in."
"Hey, here comes two now, go get em." Tony said
"Okay." Spud walked to the register, one fat and one well built NYPD officer walked to the register, the fat one seemed to want to do the talking "Hi welcome to Dip This may I take your order."
"Sure...Spud...Get me uh...Double Bacon Cheeseburger."
"Coming right up...double baco cheeseburger it's for a cop."
"Roger"
"What the hells that all about, you gonna spit in it now?" he asked
"No I'm just saying that so he makes it good." he gave Spud the look, reluctantly he went to the loud speaker "Don't spit in that cop's burger."
"Yeah thanks."
"Roger, holding spit."
"...I'll have a pie, apple."
"You want me to hold the spit?" Spud chuckled "Ha-ha, nah just joking with ya officer, Far-va, would you like to Dipisize your meal for just a quarter more?"
"You want me to punchisize your face for free, don't gimme any lip!" he got mad and all up in Spud's face
"Hey it's only a quarter, and look how much more you get."
"I don't want it!"
"It's just 25 cents." the other cop decided to intervene
"Look guy, he doesn't want it."
"Stay out of this Ramathorn I can handle this, I don't want it!"
"Fine." Spud gave up "Uh beverage."
"Yeah get me uh...liter of cola?"
"Oh God." Ramathorn groaned
"A what?"
"A, a liter of cola?"
"What is that like Mr. Pibb or something?" Spud asked confused
"No it's a liter of cola." confused Spud went to the speaker
"Liter cola, do we make liter cola?"
"Will you just get a large Farva?" Ramathorn asked
"I don't wanna large Farva, I want my Got Damn liter of cola."
"Dude, I don't even know what that means!"
"Liter is French for gimme some f*cking cola before I tear off your f*cking neck!"
"Alright alright relax!" "Jeez!" Spud yelled he gave them their food, and they took to a table
"Hey...does this look like spit to you?" Farva asked Ramathorn showing him his burger
"Uh...yeah."
"Ah f*ck it." he said taking a bite.
"So, you get any word about those psycho zombie teenagers last night?"
"Hell I don't know I wasn't called in till well after the riots started." Farva shrugged
"That's the thing though, it may have lasted all of 35 minutes before it just stopped, a couple officers said he saw a large group them assemble at the dockyards but they didn't wanna spook em, by the time SWAT got assembled they were gone it was all over." Ramathorn explained
"So, what's the damage?"
"27 shops looted, most centered around Canal Street, 15 imported and domestic sports cars stolen, and about 15k worth of doughnuts taken weirdest thing, almost like they were told to do what they did." "All in all, roughly $13,535,900 in total property loss and damages, of course most of that are for the cars"
"Christ...What, you think it was hypnosis?" Farva asked taking another bite, all the while Spud was listening in on the conversation
"Nah get real Farv, still, the NYPD is right now the laughing stock of the city...we gotta find who these perps are and bring em to justice...if it is hypnosis it is possible and I will believe anything right now."
"Well at least we can pay for most of those damages."
"How do you figure?"
"I'm about to win $10,000,000." Farva peeled off the promotional sticker on his drink, which revealed a cut hole and his cola spilled all over him "What the-got damn burger punk, I'm gonna kill you, ya son of a bitch!" He lunged up but Ramathorn just grabbed him
"Okay Farva that's enough fast food for one day, and were walking, were walking." he pulled the chubby officer right out of the store, Spud sighed of relief.
"That was close." he said but then after the cops left, he noticed them show up...wearing street clothes with Huntsclan masks, and driving haphazardly in an unmarked, unlicensed recently stolen Dodge Challenger...ironically Spud had stolen it. "Great." he groaned … "Hry, welcome to Dip This might I take your lame ass order." Spud groaned
"Hey look 88 the American Dragon's dumb sidekick works at Dip This."
"Ha what a loser." 88 laughed "But seriously though, 2 chicken sandwich meals large coke."
"deuce chicko sandwich there for two morons, feel free to spit, urinate if you must." Spud said
"Uh, roger."
"Just a heads up, you two obviously don't know how marked you are." Spud assured them
"Of course, but what are you gonna do." 89 asked
"Piss on your food?"
"Oh...touche skater boy." 88 added they paid for their food and proceeded to eat in their stolen car...wheres a cop when you actually need one.
"Hey 89, does this look like piss to you?"
"Uh yeah...smells like it too."
"Ah, f*ck it."
"Aw, that's disgusting, but look we need to realize what we want for this evening."
"Hmm...I think I may know how to rid us of our pesky enemies...like send them into the game." 88 said looking through the window at Spud.
"Right, come on, we got work to do." they drove away Spud thinking
"We gotta do something about them." he sneered under his breath... "Is that for here or to go ma'am."
Ha how bout that for funny. But seriously if you wanna see the Super Troopers version, just YouTube Liter of cola in HD, very funny stuff; okay PLEASE REVIEW
