--#3--
You thought his waking up would be the end of the nightmare. No more hospitals or doctors. No more painful hours spent worrying and not knowing what to do to make it go away.
You were wrong.
It happens a lot lately.
It was clear from the beginning that something was still not quite right with Tony.
You knew he wouldn't have been at his best as soon as he woke up but…well, actually you had thought he would have been. The doctors said it was quite normal that he couldn't remember little things like what his favourite colour or food was, while he remembered major ones clearly, like full episodes of his past. Consequence of his trauma, they said. The numbness of the right side of his body was another one. As usual they told you to not worry, with time and some rehab' sessions he would be fine. It didn't make you feel better. You didn't seem able to stop worrying for him.
Today is The Day.
At 9:00 am Tony was finally released from the hospital.
Going to his house to see him is quite refreshing, for a change. Not that it would be very different from my trips to the intensive care section since, as Tony's father Jim liked to remind us all they would still be having visiting hours 10 to 12 and 3pm to 5pm and determined rules to follow, 5 to be accurate.
- ABSOLUTELY no parties
- no loud music
- no alcohol or drugs
- no talking about: parties, sex, the accident, alcohol, sex, college, drugs, sex…
- no going out
I don't know if I should feel insulted for what he implied or worried at how well he knows us.
I opt for indignation.
We know how to behave! Well, most of the time…
"Hey mate, I brought some beers to
celebrate your homecoming!"
"I can't drink Chris."
Jal anticipates all of us, giving a loud smack
to Chris' head, probably saving him from
a stronger one from Tony's father.
"What??"
"He's on me-di-ca-tion, re-mem-ber?!"
"So?!...it never stopped us before…"
- . -
"Sid…why did you never come to see me at the
hospital when I was awake?"
"uhm…I was busy, Tony"
"Oh, okay"
- . -
"…shit man, you should have seen the girl
I made out with at my birthday's…so.."
"Anwar!!"
It turned out that Jim was right and I was wrong. I should have known!
It seems that we don't have much to say, without making fools of ourselves, when topics such as sex, drugs & alcohol are banned from the conversation.
Saying the get-together was awkward is the understatement of the year.
I catch up with Tony who, at some point during the hasty departure of our friends, had hid himself in his room. I don't feel like judging them too bad since, in the end, I'm not that better. I don't know what to do or what to say most of the time I'm with him. His cocky attitude is gone, replaced by insecure glances and faltering approaches; gone are his witty remarks and inappropriate comments; gone are his cheeky smiles. A casual bystander could say Tony himself was gone. I know I hope he's not. Having to deal with this new version of him is difficult and so fucking scary but giving him up would be the biggest mistake I…they have ever made. So I'm staying and that's something. I think.
"Hey Tone." He's lying on the bed with his eyes closed but I know he's not asleep. His breath is too erratic to be sleeping …unless he's having a nightmare…shit! It happened before when he was still in the hospital and every time he tossed and turned so much I wasn't able to keep him still. I had to call the other two nurses for that.
I move towards him but he speaks before I can reach the bed.
"Not run away like everybody else, Maxxie?" Not sleeping then.
"I'm here, aren't I?" He looks up at me and an odd expression crosses his face but it's gone as soon as it arrived. Time for some quick thinking.
"Come on Tone, stand up. We're going out"
"They won't let me"
"Fuck it! We're going anyway. I'll take on your father's wrath when we come back"
The mask of indifference on his face is gone again. If I'd started to hate that look quite forcefully, I hate the new one even more.
"…scared…"
Cooing him wouldn't do any good so I try to refrain myself from hugging the shit out of him, which is exactly what I'd like to do, and I start out towards the door not even looking at him.
"What for?! I'll be there! I'll be your knight in shining armour …"
"I'm no fucking Sleeping Beauty, twat!"
I slightly turn back to him and he's smiling and following me down the stairs so I know I did the right thing, despite the glares he enjoys sending my way. Not quite willing to lose this moment, I open the door for him with a theatrical gesture and stand up just in time to see the rude sign he aims at me.
Tony is still Tony. Some part of him is locked away, somewhere in his mind, but he's not gone.
I'll bring it back to him. I'll bring Tony back to us, to me.
