Nico woke up, sweating. His heart was beating at a pace, that couldn't have been healthy. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He had lost Bianca, again. He hadn't saved her, again.
Nico felt hot tears streaming down his face, to his neck. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged his knees.
He hated waking up like this. Sobbing and feeling guilty.
That was when he realized where he was. He was in his new bed, in his room, at the Solace'. This place felt so knew and unwelcoming. He needed to get out of here. If he started to freak out now, he would soon get a panic attack. And he did not want to let that happen in the first night, in his new home.
Nico looked around himself. He hadn't had time to set u anything during the day. So there wasn't really anything in his room, that would help him distract himself.
Stupid, he could have set up at least something. But no, he had been to busy hiding in the bathroom.
The bathroom.
That was when he remembered how freaked out he had been earlier that day. He felt like everything was going down the hill, before anything really happened. But then Will had spoken to him with this gentle voice.
Nico remembered Callie also using that voice on him, whenever Nico backed away from her. The first time he had heard that voice, had been the first time Callie had tried to touch Nico. He had jumped away from her hand, almost immediately. She had just tried to brush a strand of hair, out of his face. But of course, Nico had to panic at the innocent action.
He hated that. It was getting better. Meanwhile Nico even let other people come near him, or even touch his arms and shoulders. But he was freaking out about the tiniest things, that went over that. Which was pathetic, but still left him no space to breath.
Will, Nico thought.
No, he could not just wake him up in the middle of the night, and annoy him with his panic attack.
Nico felt his breath gaining speed, until it turned into desperate gasping for air. His hands were trembling and he tried to roll himself together, to a ball. But the trembling and shaking did not stop.
Flames. Slowly surrounding him, like snakes hunting down their prey.
The room was getting hot, and the air was getting thin. It was getting harder to breath by the second.
All the people staring blankly at him, as if Nico had lost his mind.
"Why is no one helping her? Why is no one going in to find Bianca?", he heard himself shout, until he only whispered the words because the anesthetic started to work on him.
Suddenly Nico felt something approach to him, Jason had tried to make go away, by soothingly holding Nico night after night. But it returned, as soon as Nico couldn't bear it all anymore. So he did the one thing, he had sworn himself, he would never do again. Nico screamed out in pain.
/O.o_
Will was sharply awoken, by a horrifying sound, coming from Nico's bedroom. He jumped out of bed, immediately, and made his way to said bedroom. Will didn't remember when it was, that he ran that fast. But it didn't matter. That sound he had just heard... was the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced in his life.
Well he was only twelve, but still.
As soon as he approached the door, he pushed it open, without thinking. And as he saw Nico, all curled up and whimpering in pain, Will could have sworn, he heard his heart break in two.
The smaller boy probably hadn't noticed Will stepping inside his room.
He was clenching at his dark hair, as if he was trying to rip something out of his head. Something that was tearing him apart from inside. He looked so... fragile.
Will immediately made his way to the bed were Nico lay. As he arrived the slightly shaking boy, he lay a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey Nico, Buddy, it's okay. I'm here now." Nico looked up. His eyes were dark, almost black now. Glistening with tears, but not quite allowing them to stream down his face.
Will climbed onto the bed, next to Nico, and put his arms around him. He held the smaller boy close and pressed his head against his chest.
Nico may have not liked physical contact, but Will could see it when someone needed to be comforted. And Nico desperately needed that right now. That was confirmed as the raven haired boy slung his arms around Will's waist and his fingers clung onto the fabric of his shirt.
He suddenly felt Nico sobbing against his shoulder. Will held him even tighter and started whispering soothing words to him.
He didn't know how long they had stayed like this, but he sure as hell was relieved when he felt Nico breath on a regular basis again. Everything quieted down and they just lay there, wrapped in each others arms.
Nico had even loosened his grip around Will's waist a bit. Not much, he still held him close to his body, but not any longer, as if his life depended on it.
He had his face buried deep in the crook of Will's neck, as he mumbled something that Will couldn't quite understand.
"What was that?", he asked softly.
"This is all my fault.", Nico repeated. "All this mess, just because of me." Will did not understand what Nico meant.
"What is your fault, Nico?", Will tried again. Being careful not to push the younger boy into telling him something, he wanted to keep to himself. He let a breath out, he didn't he was holding, when Nico started talking.
"Callie and Kevin may have told you, that there had been a fire at the place I lived with my sister Bianca." Nico stopped for a moment, as if only mentioning his sister's name, was painfully tearing him apart. Yes. Will had heard about the fire and Nico having a sister, which had died in it. He thought about saying something to calm the boy in his arms down a little, but before he had the chance, Nico continued;
"After the fire, we were send to another home for children without parents. That means my best friend Jason... and me." Will had the feeling that Nico was letting out an important part of the story, but didn't bother to ask about it, since it may have scared the kid away. "I had nightmares from the first night on. About how... people would come out of the burning building, one after one, just not Bianca. At first it was like it happened. I dreamed about how I would scream and try to get into the house, to search for Bianca. I didn't really see or care about anything, I just wanted to get in there to find her. The only thing I felt were Jason's arms, as he was holding me back. He's two years older and at least a head bigger than me. I never stood a chance of getting out of his grip. But that hadn't stopped me from trying. The next thing I could feel was how one of the medics gave me some sedative to calm me down.
The nightmares continued, and so did the chance of scenario. Every time I dream, I get a little further into the building, a little further into rescuing my sister. But never entirely. Jason was a good friend. He sneaked into my bed. First only when I had a nightmare, but then it started to happen more often and he just came by night after night. I thought they were starting to leave, when a new kid arrived. His name was Michael. He said he could talk to the dead.
It was strange, but it also made me curious. What if I had the chance to talk to Bianca again? So that's what I asked him for. And what happened next... it was just awful. It was as if something was taking over his body. Suddenly he was behaving like an entirely different person. His eyes were... dead."
At that, Will shuddered. This kid was only eleven. How was it that he had to suffer like that? And much to his displease, the story hadn't ended just yet.
"I asked about my sister again, and he turned to look at me. First he looked confused, as if he didn't know who I was. But then he started smirking down at me and said that she didn't want to see me. I didn't quite understand what he meant, so went again. He told me that she had left the dead's place, so she wouldn't have to bother with me anymore. He told me that the fire had been my fault. That her death was on me and that I had a... cursed soul. That... – that everyone I loved, and who loved me back, would die... because of me."
Nico stammered the last sentence out. Seeing him like that made Will angry. Like really angry. How could some... idiot tell Nico that he was cursed. That he couldn't love anyone, or be loved in return.
"That's not true Nico.", he said.
Nico was looking at him with wide, questioning eyes.
"It's not true, that you are cursed. It wasn't your fault that there was a fire. Your sister's death was an accident and there was noting you could have done about this. You are a good person Nico. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
Will stared into Nico's eyes intensely. He could see how the younger boy didn't believe him. But he could also see something flicker in these dark brown eyes. Something inside Nico was remaining hope after all. And Will was willing to prove just how good of a person Nico actually was.
Nico broke the gaze. Will couldn't properly see it, but it looked as if he was blushing.
"Would you...", started Nico and took a shaky breath. "Would you mind staying with me?", he asked a little scared, Will might say no.
"Of course I'm going to stay with you. I'm gonna be there for you, as long as you need me Nico. And never dare to hesitate asking, because this is important to me, okay? You are important to me." Will's gaze was strong and concentrated.
Nico muttered a "thank you Will" before snuggling up to Will's chest and burying his face in his shirt.
"Good night Nico.", he whispered, before kissing the Italian's forehead and falling asleep as he held Nico close.
