Ninja Karaoke

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsunade hiccups as she wanders onto the stage, smiling idiotically at the piece of paper in her hand as she goes. "The next person is…(HIC!) Chouji!" She smiles and waits for the loud cry.

"NO! (MUNCH, MUNCH)!"

(Chouji's POV)

"I can't do this!" I cry out, looking desperately at my 'best friends'. "Please…do something, guys! Don't make me do this!" I look to face Asuma-sensei.

"I had to…so do you!" my teacher grins. He sets his hand on my shoulder. "Come on, Chouji! It's all for fun." He laughs aloud as my expression drops even more.

Shikamaru sighs loudly. "So troublesome…Chouji, there is nothing we can do. So get up there and hope for it to be all over fast." He yawns and smirks at my incredulous face.

"Fine…"

(Author's POV)

Everyone looks confused as the easily known as Michael Jackson's music comes through the karaoke machine. Chouji picks up the mike and waddles to the middle of the stage. (Sorry…he's not one of my favorites…)

"How come you're always such a fussy woman
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raison Bran
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it
," he sang horribly. Everyone went reeling.

"Oh my god!" Ino whispers to Shikamaru. She looks up at his wincing face. "Who knew he sang this badly? I sure didn't…" She puts a hand over one of her hears and leans against her teammate for support.

Shikamaru grimaces and holds Ino against him so she doesn't fall to the ground from Chouji's insanely horrible voice. "I did…he's my best friend remember…I was dreading this the whole time I knew about this stupid thing!"

"Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate
So eat it."

Chouji squeaked out Weird Al's version of 'Beat it'. It's called 'Eat It'. He looks embarrassedly at the crowd. 'Sorry…' he pleads silently. 'Sorry…'

Kabuto flinches from every word. "He's worse than you!" he splutters out to his master. He then covers his mouth and looks up warily at Orochimaru. "Sorry, lord Orochimaru…"

"it's ok..Kabuto…" Oro bites out. "I understand…perfectly…" They both flinch as Chouji's voice cracks slightly.

"Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it, ooh"

"Wow…" Naruto gags. "Who knew someone could sing this badly…"

"Shhh!" Tsunade shushes. She indicates to the video camera in her hand. "Blackmail…" she whispers, grinning. Naruto smirks at the simplicity, yet wit of her plan.

"Your table manners are some cryin' shame
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it, just eat it."

"We got to stop this!" Ino sobs from the horrid racket. She clutches her friend's vest and cries heavily into him. He strokes her hair softly. "Please…Shika…"

"It's gonna be alright, Ino. It'll be ok…" Shikamaru murmurs and hugs her tightly.

"You better listen, better do what you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold
So eat it."
'Sorry, Ino…Shikamaru…I'm sorry…'

Asuma grimaces and puts his hand on Kurunai's shoulder sympathetically. "It's gonna be done soon…"

"Ya…" She holds back her curses.

"I don't care if you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt, have some more Spam
It doesn't matter it it's fresh or canned
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it.
"

"Ugh…my camera's gonna break if this keep up…" Tsunade grimaces, holding the camera to Naruto. "Keep it taping…I'm gonna get some more sake…"

"Um…ok, ma'am!" Naruto cries, taking the video camera from the lady.

"eat it eat it, eat it, eat it
If it's gettin' cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it (oh lord)
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it (oh no)
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it."

Chouji cheers as he finished the song. "Oh yeah! No more!" Everybody has to laugh at his comment.

Tsunade laughed and walked over to the stage. "Next is…Deidara!"

"What?" the girly-boy sputters. "Why me?" he moans as Itachi pushes him toward the stage.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well...That was Chouji with Weird Al's 'Eat It.' Read and Review!