This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.

Please leave reviews

The ache was back in my chest this week but thankfully after Sunday night the dreams faded back again. Sooner then I thought Friday came and the girls were at my house. We rented girly movies and ordered pizza. We ate junk food and talked about everything and anything. I was pleasantly surprised that Leah was really a nice girl. I had been afraid she was like Lauren but once you get past her initial grumpy façade she was really funny and great to hang out with. We all fell asleep in the living room late into the night.

When we woke up we went to the diner for breakfast and when, during an odd conversation about things that were mini, Kim randomly said we should go miniature golfing it was agreed we would do that. Like with all things requiring coordination I sucked. Leah used a bit too much strength so she wasn't much better then me. Kim and Emily were both pretty good so it was Kim and I against the cousins. They beat us but only by one point. After the game, we grabbed lunch and the girls decided we should head to the beach since it was surprisingly warm again this weekend.

I didn't even think as I ran inside and changed into my bathing suit, running out to meet the girls again. Leah came with me in my truck since Emily had driven them all over in her car.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Bella, I admonished myself as we saw several very large forms running around on the beach with a football. Of course it was the guys. My eyes immediately sought out Sam and I breathed a sigh of disappointment when I didn't see him, relief Bella, it was relief damnit. I told myself as we joined, Jake, Embry, Quil and Seth.

Jake came over and folded into the sand next to me, "Charlie's at mine, you and he are invited to dinner."

"Great." I told him, leaning my head against his shoulder. Annoyed that my voice came out kind of sad. Shit, I was not missing Samuel Uley! I didn't even know him! Stop being so ridiculous Bella you are not pining over a guy, you will not let one man rule your life, your decisions or your happiness! With that mental rant, I lifted my head and spoke again, "We should hang out soon, Jake, just us."

"Sure, sure Bells." He slung his arm around my shoulder, "So what did you girls do today?"

With that I told him all about our day miniature golfing. Before I knew it, it was time to go back to Jake's place. I saw Jared, Collin and Brady had arrived while I was talking to Jake. I waved goodbye to them all as we headed off. On the cliff I thought I caught sight of a large black wolf. I shivered and told myself I was being ridiculous, it was likely just an odd shadow or something, there was no way a large black wolf was watching me from the woods around the cliff, it was my imagination from that stupid dream. I pushed back the odd feeling in my gut and hurried my steps towards the Black home, "Come on Jake, I'm getting cold."

He kept pace with me easily, though I nearly ran up the steps and inside, I was grateful that while he sent me an odd look he didn't ask.

The dad's were engrossed in a game when we arrived so Jake and I went to cook dinner. I finally felt easy and comfortable again. Jake turned on the radio and we sang along to a few songs. After dinner, I helped Jake clean up and debated with myself whether I should ask him about Sam or not.

"Jake…" I hesitated, and Jake waited patiently while I debated with myself a little more. Wasn't it best not to know, to just keep avoiding him? The ache in my heart put up protest and I swallowed before continuing, if I knew more about him then I'd be able to avoid running into him better, I rationalized with myself. "How do you know Sam?"

"It's a small reservation Bella."

"I mean, it's just that the whole group is a bit odd, with how different your ages all are."

"Yeah, I guess." he shrugged, " we are a lot more alike then you know really. Actually we are like brothers."

"How long have you all been friends?"

"Um well Paul and Jared have been best friends since they were born practically. Embry, Quil and I became friends in elementary school. Leah and Emily are cousins and Leah used to date Sam. Emily came down to visit her and met Paul so she stayed and has been with him almost a year. Kim and Jared have been in the same advanced math class for two years and got together about nine months ago. Seth is Leah's brother and Collin and Brady just sort of started hanging out with us." He shrugged.

I was grateful he didn't notice me cringe when he said Sam and Leah used to date. Were they serious? Why did they break up? How were they still friends? Leah was so beautiful; I could never compare to her long lithe and tone body. I was just average, average height, average weight and average beauty with average brown hair and eyes. I tried to shake myself, it didn't matter if I could compare with Leah, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be with anyone let alone someone who made me feel as out of control as Sam Uley.

"We all started hanging out together, I don't know really at different times over the last year and a half. But we all sort of grew up together and bonded quick."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what else to ask. I wanted to know more. I felt like I knew nothing.

"You know Bells, Sam is a good guy." I looked away from Jake; I didn't want to talk about that.

"I'm sure they all are Jake. I like your friends. It's good to chill with just you though." I smiled back at him and stood up, I didn't want to know more about Sam after all, mostly because I really didn't want to answer questions about why I was thinking about him, "I should get Charlie so we can go. I'll see you."

"Ok Bella." Jake stood and shifted his weight from one foot to another. "You sure you don't want to come hang out with everyone tonight?"

"No thanks Jake, I'm tired and want to sleep in my own bed." I hugged him and went to find Charlie. I didn't need to wait since we both had our cars but when I told him I was ready he stood to leave anyways. I kissed Billy's cheek and we left.

At home I went straight up to bed. I heard a wolf howl in the distance and shivered, remembering the wolfy shape from the cliffs earlier and my odd dreams. I knew it was going to be a bad night.

I was wrong. I woke up well rested on Sunday. The ache in my chest was still there but not as bad as it had been when I left Jake's the night before. I was in a good mood so I did a thorough clean and some laundry in the morning and was planning to spend the afternoon baking.

I was surprised when the doorbell rang. Expecting one of the girls or Jake had stopped by I didn't check before pulling open the door. My jaw nearly dropped when I saw Sam standing on my porch, his black t-shirt pulled tight across his chest, his faded jeans speckled with paint.

"Hello Bella."

"Sam, I, um." My voice came out low, he looked so sexy, I was not prepared to see him, and I of course was looking like a bum in my lulu's and my tight white long sleeve shirt, hair tossed up in a messy bun, not that it mattered what I looked like, since I didn't care about his opinion, "what are you doing here?" my previously soft voice came out sharp and bordering on rude.

"Charlie asked if I could come by, fix a few things." He told me with a small smile.

"Oh well, Charlie isn't home." I told him not moving from the doorway. Don't let him in here, not while you're alone! I started to shake as my head screamed at me to find a way to slam the door. Yet I was oddly happy to see him too. I wanted to invite him in and hear about his week and why he looked so tired. No! Get rid of him! I tried to ignore myself and hide the slight trembles in my hands.

"I know, he told me. Said you would be here or I could let myself in with the spare key."

"Right." I struggle with myself as I stepped back and let him in. "I'll just study in the living room while you work. I just need to clean up what I was doing.

I could feel his heat behind me as he followed me into the kitchen.

"You can keep baking, I can work around you." He said as I put away the few ingredients I had already taken out.

"No." I nearly snapped at him, my mind had convinced my body it needed to react, it needed to run from the need it felt to be closer to him and my feet were finding it hard to stay still as I spoke. "Thank you, I'll finish later. Do you need anything?" As soon as he shook his head I let myself flee, the living room was to close; heart racing in irrational panic, I went straight up to my room and slammed the door, flicking the lock before resting against it.

Sam called upstairs when he was leaving. I gave a sigh of relief tinged with regret. I couldn't believe I had spent the last two hours hiding in my room. I went downstairs to bake, hoping for it to calm my still rattled nerves.

Charlie was impressed when he came home to all I had made, it was definitely more than Charlie and I would eat, but I figured I'd give a bunch of it to Jake, that boy could really eat. All the guys could and would no doubt enjoy it too.

I made supper and cleaned the kitchen before kissing Charlie, who had been shooting me small worried glances since he walked in, on the cheek and going up to finish my homework and sleep.

Strangely, I slept well again that night. The ache was there but not so bad. The only time I hadn't felt it was when I stayed in my room hiding from Sam. Instead of the ache my body pulsed with adrenaline and anxiety.

Every night I heard the wolves in the woods and imagined the black wolf haunting me, hunting me. Yet I couldn't fall asleep till I heard it howl, whether it was the same one or another in the pack I wasn't sure but once I heard them singing to the night I felt safer, and I knew the nightmares would not haunt me, even when I had them I was not so afraid anymore. My wolf would protect me even in my dreams.

The next few weeks went by quick and I spent the weekends studying with Angela and occasionally Kim would come down and join us. I had started to avoid the reservation at all costs.

Jake called several times to have me come down but I always found an excuse or invited him out. I even avoided going to dinner at his place since the Thursday after Sam had shown up at my house, Charlie and I had gone over and Sam had been there.

He sat beside me at dinner and I tried to be polite while refusing to look at or speak to him. Charlie and Billy both sent me worried looks. I could see Jake constantly shooting glances between Sam and I, a slight frown marring his usually happy expression.

Sam looked tired and sort of sad. I wanted to comfort him but stamped down the urge and determined to avoid coming to the reservation at all costs. I wanted to run into his arms and bury my face in his chest. I wanted him to take away the ache in my heart that only seemed better when he was near. I wanted to see him smile.

I knew I was being irrational but the confusing mix of emotions scared me.

I felt cold all the time now. I let the chill fill my veins and remind me of all the reasons all the things my body craved were exactly the things I needed to avoid.

I bit back tears as I stood in the doorway after cleaning the kitchen, the boys all sitting in the living room watching the game. Sam was watching me again, my body was trembling with the conflicting desire to curl up in his side and seek comfort and the need to run.

I asked Charlie to take me home, told him I had a headache. Sam looked pained. I felt the urge to comfort him again and that made me more desperate to leave.

That night in bed I decided I would not go back to the reservation, not until I had control over myself, not until this power Sam had over me was gone. I was grateful when it started to work. Jake kept calling and Billy invited us over several times, Charlie was always asking why I didn't spend time with my res friends, but I was able to hold them all off with the excuse of upcoming finals and assuring Charlie I saw Kim a couple times a week and spoke to Emily on the phone who was also trying to get me to come out for another movie night. The more they all seemed to push for me to go to the reservation the more I fought against going.

As the days passed the nightmares disappeared entirely. Instead I had the same dreams about the black wolf, he would be lying under my feet while I sat on the bolder, chasing me through the woods or watching me on the beach from the cliff.

I was tired and felt sick. I told myself it was just exams and stress but something inside of me kept telling me there was more to it. Stubbornly I ignored that part of me and focused more on my upcoming exams.

Until finally, finals were upon us, our final finals! Graduation was approaching faster than I thought possible and I wondered if I was as ready for it as I had thought. Of course with all the studying I had done I was sure I was ready for the exams but to be done high school? That I wasn't so sure of.