This one's fairly short, and I personally found it rather dull (awesome self-marketing, huh?) but I couldn't very well write a series about engagement without touching upon this subject… Please forgive any legality errors. I know next to nothing about how these things work and I was too lazy to do any research during pre-Christmas craze.
Blair stifled a yawn and poured herself a glass of orange juice. It wasn't all that early, actually it was closer to lunch than breakfast, but she hadn't slept well. She looked at her juice and wished she hadn't turned down Chuck's offer of coffee.
She sat down next to him on the couch, offering a polite smile to the two attorneys seated on chairs across the table. This was easily her least favorite part of the wedding planning process, but she knew it needed to be done. When you were Waldorfs and Basses it needed to be done. Better to get it over with soon, although she knew there would be a lot of back-and-forth over a period of weeks or months before anything was actually signed.
"Shall we get started?" Chuck said and cast a glance at Blair. "I don't think we're after anything extraordinary here… Ms. Waldorf is an affluent young woman, but there's no disputing the fact that I am the wealthier party. In a few months, our finances will be merged. I think what we're after here is a legal agreement that in the case of a divorce we both keep what we brought into the marriage, and divide the rest evenly between us."
Both attorneys began firing questions and making comments rapidly, having obviously prepared for a big battle, while Chuck kept in a sigh and gave Blair another look. At least it was a great relief that she hadn't blown her lid when he brought up the word "prenup".
"We'll each be keeping our trust funds" Chuck answered Blair's attorney's question. "We'll start a couple of joint accounts once we get back from our honeymoon, and all subsequent income will go to those accounts. It's really basic."
"And what about other assets?" Chuck's attorney asked. "Your shares in Bass Industries? The Empire hotel?"
"Still his" Blair said.
"Actually…" Chuck said. "49% of the Empire will go to Blair on our wedding day."
Three pairs of confused eyes looked at him.
"Why?" his attorney blurted out. "And thank you for mentioning this to me sooner."
"I want to keep majority" Chuck said. "But that hotel really does belong to her as much as it does to me. I would never have bought it if it wasn't for her. I have more than one attorney, and the legalities have already been worked out."
"Then we demand an even 50/50 split" Blair's attorney piped up.
"Speak for yourself" Blair snorted. "Chuck you don't have to give me any part of the Empire. I may have supported you in buying it, but it was your money."
"You should listen to her…" his attorney, apply named Lawson, mumbled.
"Like I said, I wouldn't own it today if it wasn't for you. It's ours."
"Not to be a romance buzz kill here, but you might feel differently when she's a fat, closeted drunk who's cheated on you" Lawson said.
"I beg your pardon!" Blair and Chuck said in unison.
Blair gave her attorney, Markham, an indignant look.
"Slap him" she ordered.
Markham and Lawson continued to argue over the hotel for a few minutes while Blair turned to Chuck and lowered her voice.
"You sure you want me to have half of this place?"
"It's already yours, like I said."
"But--"
"The whole point of this is to make our lives into one. What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. Though you can keep the headbands for yourself."
"This is the Empire we're talking about. It's always been so important to you to make it successful on your own."
"I'm not on my own anymore, am I?"
She opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by Markham.
"Like I said before, we demand fifty percent in the hotel."
"I don't" Blair said. "You're supposed to represent me."
"I hate writing prenups for couples who think they're actually going to be happy" Lawson sighed.
-
"Remind me never to get married again" Chuck groaned that afternoon while watching a movie with Nate.
"Uhm, okay?"
"Earlier today Blair and I spent almost two hours with our attorneys, who bickered like they were a divorcing couple over things that Blair and I didn't even care about."
"Wow. That sounds almost as boring to experience as it is to listen to" Nate said and tried to concentrate on the movie.
"The only reason we're getting the damn thing to begin with is to settle now what we might not be able to agree on if we're at war with each other in the future. I have to agree with Blair, it's backwards to plan your divorce at the same time as you're planning your wedding."
"Prenups aren't just about divorce" Nate said. "Can we talk about this later?"
"This is a DVD Nathaniel. Pause it if you can't concentrate on two things at the same time."
With an annoyed sigh Nate obediently paused the movie and gave Chuck a look that suggested it was better to talk now, and talk fast.
"Call me traditional," Chuck said, "but what's the point of getting married if you're going to draw up papers beforehand detailing how to get around the stuff that comes with the marriage? If I couldn't imagine having shared finances with Blair then I wouldn't have suggested we merge our lives together. And yes, I've taken her shopping crazes into consideration."
"People marry for all kinds of reasons" Nate argued. "And with the divorce rating being so high…"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm all for protecting your assets in case of a separation. But I don't really see what Lawson almost popping a vein trying to make sure Blair gets baccarat of Bass Industries has to do with commitment. The man's a barracuda, which is usually a good thing, but in this case it makes me fear for his health. I was almost convinced the man would stroke out when I mentioned a sunset provision."
"Set to what? The birth of your first child?"
"China anniversary."
Nate gave him a puzzled look and Chuck groaned when he realized just how much of Blair's babble actually made its way into his brain.
"That's twenty years Nathaniel. Fitting, since I'm fairly sure I lost about twenty percent of my manliness by knowing that."
Nate stifled a laugh. He was secretly enjoying watching Blair work his best friend's nerves with her wedding chatter, although once the novelty of the engagement had worn off she had toned it down considerably. Since they had gotten back from France a few days earlier she had been more like her usual self and less of a bridezilla in the making. Calm before the storm no doubt, but it was reassuring to know she still had energy to devote to other things, like being outraged over the missteps of her girl posse, the latest celebrity gossip and the fact that Nate had accidentally sat on her favorite pair of Manolos and broken off the heel.
"Now that Blair has started to return to her normal self again, how are things going?" he asked Chuck. "With everything else, I mean…"
"It could be better."
"Yeah?"
"Apparently it's quixotic to subject the man you claim to love to wanting to chew his own foot off" Chuck sighed.
"I take it that means she hasn't given up yet?"
"You come from a family of lawyers Nathaniel" Chuck said. "Do you think it's possible to include a clause in the prenup that prohibits any further attempts at sexual embargos?"
"How exactly were you planning on wording that so that it doesn't come off as forcing her to always put out?"
"That's what I pay Lawson for."
Nate chuckled and shook his head. Chuck had been convinced Blair would have caved in by now, but she was determined to make it the full six months without sleeping with him, and so far all of Chuck's attempts to break her determination had failed.
"Hey man, look at it from the bright side" Nate said. "You'll be more fit than you ever were when December comes around if you keep using exercise as a substitute for sex."
"I'm thinking about going with food instead of exercise from now on, maybe that will teach her a lesson."
"Or make it a whole lot easier for her to hold out."
"Can we talk about something else?"
"You're the one who brought it up. But okay, what else is going in the prenup?"
"As little as possible. Just whatever's necessary to make sure we each keep what we brought in to the union."
"I've got to say you've surprised me" Nate said. "I thought for sure you would be the type who'd have clauses for everything, from alimony payments to how little you could get away with allocating her in a divorce."
"That would be more traditionally Upper East Side" Chuck agreed. "It kills me to realize how similar I can be to my father. He didn't even have a prenup with my mother, and he had rather traditional views when it came to sharing between spouses. I want Blair to be my partner, for us to be a unit, and that's hard to do when focusing on keeping it clear what's hers and what is mine."
"You might be sorry later…"
"I'll take my chances."
"No wonder Lawson is frustrated."
Chuck gave him a half-hearted smile and then started the movie again. He wondered why it seemed like the prenup was bothering him more than Blair. She had told him in bed the night before that since she wasn't marrying him for his money it didn't really matter to her how much of it he wanted to keep for himself it they got divorced. So long as she could still maintain her lifestyle, which her trust fund would be helpful with anyway, the rest wasn't so important. She had pointed out that most of the things they would end up fighting over if they got divorced were things they didn't own yet, like houses or art collections or children, which therefore couldn't be written into any prenups. She had also said that when he proposed she'd known there would be a prenup and that whatever he wanted to keep for himself was something she felt was worth giving up in order to marry him.
No wonder their attorneys hated them. Now they just had to make sure Markham and Lawson would never be able to say "I told you so".
I'll try to make the next part suck less =) A big thanks to all who have reviewed so far!
