"What in god's name was she thinking!" Emily screamed in her car, trying to block out what she just learned about Abbey and possibly JJ. "Why would she not say anything?" Emily slammed her hand against the steering wheel, tears welling up. She shakes her head and turn the volume up, listening to the guitar part of Shadow On The Sun by Audioslave. The music always seemed to do one of two things either calm her or fuel the insanity, today it was fueling. The light turned red and she slowly rolled to a stop. Its dark enough still to see the other light is green, she waits till its yellow then slowly lets off the break. The song changed and Tangled by Maroon 5 filled the air. Emily sat paying more attention to the lyrics than the road. Slowly she started to relate it to what happened between the two of them…she remembered telling JJ 'if you go off and fuck random men when your mad at me maybe you should stay with one of them!' she remembered being so mad at her and going back to her room and drinking right from the bottle of Jacks. She remembered making up with her but they couldn't, no matter how hard they tried get back in a relationship, both were too hurt and scared. The song changed again to Live's Lighting Crashes, making Emily smile. She always thought of JJ when she heard it, she figured it was the angel pale blue eyes line that set her into memories. Emily realized that maybe if she wouldn't have fought with JJ that night long ago, none of this would've happened. It ripped at her heart, JJ would've never had to kill Will, and Will would've never hurt JJ or Abbey. JJ would be sleeping in her arms right now, Abbey in her own room tucked in knowing she's loved. The images flashed in front of Emily constantly, till she pulled up in front of the police station again. She rolled her window up and stepped out.
"You good?" Sam asked.
"Better." Emily nodded giving a weak smile.
"So I can leave the kid with you and not have to worry about the news reporting some crazy lady killed coworkers child?" Sam smirked.
"Yeah." Emily tried to sound offended but ended up laughing. Sam pulled Abbey out of his car and she latched on to Emily's legs.
"Don't ever make me goes with him again!" Abbey said looking up at Emily.
"Why? I thought driving well was part of the mini van package?" Emily picked the girl up and started to walk inside.
"He watches Sponge Bob." She said adding a shiver to prove her point.
"I thought every kid loved Sponge Bob." Sam admitted putting a hand on Emily's shoulder the other ruffling Abbey's hair.
"Not really, JJ refuses to let Abbey watch it cause its so annoying."
"He scares me too!" Abbey added.
"What's so scary about a yellow sponge?"
"Oh plenty of things." Emily grinned.
"His laugh" Abbey eyes turned to saucers as she talked. "And his eyes…" Emily laughed and nodded.
"Yeah his eyes creep me out too." Emily walked over to the front desk pulling out her I.D. "Agent Hotchner, he still up stairs?"
"Yup with Jareau," the lady smiled and pointed toward the elevator. "4th floor, we also have a child care center…."
"No thanks." Emily stated walking toward the elevator.
"But I wanna go" Abbey pouted.
"Honey, no you don't, trust me." Abbey looked up at Emily with her best puppy dog eyes. "Your mom would kill me…" Abbey gave a little whine that pulled at Emily's heart. "She needs you right now darling." Abbey finally nodded and rested her head on Emily's shoulder.
"Is mommy going to be ok?"
"I can't promise anything but I hope so."
"Wont uncle Aaron help her?"
"Yes and so will I and Uncle Derek and Spencer and auntie Penelope."
"I know your going to help." Emily smiled, stepping off the elevator.
"Emily," JJ called sitting against a wall hands cuffed. Emily walked over setting Abbey down.
"Hey, they really don't need you cuffed do they?"
"No."
"Hey, get her out of these now." Emily said to a younger cop sternly not trying to scare him but she scared everyone in the room with her tone.
"Yes ma'am" He said running away.
"My mothers name is Ma'am!" Emily called after him.
"Emily you didn't have to scare the poor guy." JJ laughed.
"I didn't."
"Mom, am I going to have to live with someone else?"
"No, Abbey, don't worry about it. Everything will be ok soon enough."
"But…"
"No, no buts. I promise no matter what happens you will be taken care of." As JJ finished she looked at Emily and Emily had a flash of the day when JJ said she could see her with kids.
"Everything will be ok , if anything happens to your mom, I'll take you." Emily knew that's what JJ wanted to hear.
"If Emily says so, I have no problem with her taking you baby girl."
"Why cant I stay with you?" Abbey pouted, nuzzling close to her mother.
"Because some people think I may have killed your father on purpose." When the officer came back JJ moved so the young cop could get her cuffs off.
"But you didn't!"
"There's others who believe that baby, there really are."
"Lets just hope for the best." Emily added.
"Lets… now Uncle Aaron would love to see you." JJ told Abbey. "He's right over there." Abbey smiled kissing her mom on the cheek and ran over to Hotch.
"Why'd you say that?" JJ asked Emily quietly.
"What?"
"That you'd take her?"
"Because if I wasn't as stupid as I was all that time ago, none of this would've happened, and she'd be mine, ours."
"You know that would have been impossible."
"Would it?" Emily sighed, "JJ, look at your wedding all I could think about was standing up and saying no. All I wanted to do was go back to the night we fought and said it'll be ok, I still love you not I hate you. Every time I look at Abbey, I only see you, no matter how much everyone says she's like him its you I see."
"You should've stood, I was begging you to. I kept thinking I was ruining my life and I could've saved what was left of us."
"No…"
"Em."
"No, I would've stood and lost you all over again I couldn't make the choice for you."
"Emily I know, I know why you didn't stand, you loved me so much you wanted me happy you would've given up your own dreams for mine."
"I did, and I can't have it back according to you."
"You really want it back?" JJ asked tears welling up.
"More than anything, but you come back to me, its giving you motive."
"I know."
"So when…"
"When this is over." JJ smiled finishing it for her. "Take Abbey to your place…"
"She'll be ok I promise."
"I know."
"You know, if I had chosen to stay to stick it out, we could home right now."
"You know, I was thinking the same thing." JJ smiled. "I can see you holding her, protecting her."
"Its where I'd want to be."
"You were always the rock in our family even though you weren't part of it."
"JJ, I'll always be here for you and her an I always have been, don't forget that."
"I could never forget that Emily. You came back for me when I asked you to."
"Ms. Jareau, we can take you now." A cop walked up taking JJ back into the interrogation room.
