Merlin's knock was soft, but Mithian called out at once, "Who is it?"
"Merlin."
"Come in."
He entered, closing the door behind him.
Mithian was nowhere to be seen. "I'm on the terrace," came her voice. "Do not join me."
Merlin walked to the window and craned through it. Mithian sat in the narrow gap between the wall and the outer parapet. She must have climbed out of the window, for a chair was against the inside wall. She sat with her knees raised and her back to the room.
"I only wanted to make sure you are well," he said, withdrawing into the room.
"I have no man," said Mithian without looking up.
Merlin shoved the chair away and sank to the stone floor beneath the window, back to back with Mithian through the wall. "I'm here," he said, and heard Mithian begin to cry.
He was angry, on her behalf. Gwen had been angry too, and Mithian had begged her not to tell Arthur, who would reuse an army and and seek out Mithian's consort and run him through.
Merlin's anger was quieter, but vehement. "No one should be used so cruelly," he said. "You wrote to him, you told him?"
"I told him of the child, and I told him when..."
"It's all right."
"He never came back. Our land is not so large, Merlin, that a man cannot be found who wants to be." Mithian's brave voice shook.
"No."
Mithian sighed.
"You have had a great loss," Merlin said. "Not just the child."
"It was only a month -"
"Thar is not the point," said Merlin. "You lost more than something tangible. You lost your future, your idea of the future. And any man who will not comfort you in that loss-"
"He did not want me in my joy, either," said Mithian. "He only wants my hunting horses, and my royal seal to travel about as he pleases."
"Did you love him?" Merlin asked after a time. The open window blew cold air down his collar, but he took no notice. "When you were handfast to him?"
"No," came Mithian's voice. "It was properly a royal match."
Merlin was silent. He sat so long, so quiet, that Mithian asked, "Are you still there?" with a crack in her voice.
Merlin said, "-I cannot do all you ask. But I will comfort you."
Mithian's boots landed on the stone flags beside him, and the rest of her followed. She stood looking down at him, her hands on her hips. "Will this comfort allow the getting of a child?"
"Perhaps," said Merlin. He had counted days in his head as he sat there. "It is possible." Possible, but highly unlikely. He had reasons for great caution, not least of which was Mithian's obvious pain.
Mithian pressed her knuckles to her mouth.
Merlin stood, and brushed dust from his clothes. "I will visit you tonight," he said. "If you wish."
"At midnight," said Mithian.
His face was full of pity for her. She could not stand it. Kindness was far harder to bear than cruelty. Kindness made her weep. "Will you kiss me," she asked him brusquely, "in this comfort? Well you dodo what a man does?"
"I will kiss you," said Merlin. "I will do any task you ask, but."
She waited.
"I would not leave my child with a man who treats you cruelly," said Merlin.
Something in his tone tore at her heart. The way he said, my child . But she must be strong. "Are you bargaining with me?"
"Call it that. Those are my terms."
"Yet you would leave a child with me."
"Not willingly," he said.
At that moment there came a knock at the door, and Merlin slipped away before Mithian could ask what he meant.
