Disclaimer: I don't own anything and Edward hate's the fact I wrote this little bit...
The Stork Trials
Unfortunately for Edward Elric, he had no choice but to ask the insolent boss of his General shit head, Roy Mustang to watch his four and ten year old one evening. It seemed that everyone else the young man tried to call was unavailable. Even Alphonse and Kate; both were away aiding a refugee camp in the North. His options slimmed down the man that he quite frequently loathed. Edward and Winry were to attend Edward's award ceremony at the college. They had a fight, which did not help matters any better. They were not speaking to each other and Edward was in a fowl mood to start. It only got worse when he found that he had to call the older man that very morning to come by car and watch the children. Which would ultimately lead to Hageren owing to General. That was never a good thing, pay backs were tough when it came to Roy.
Edward knew that first hand, missions were torture!
So Edward swallowed his pride and called the General. Roy was reluctant to agree at first, but Edward heard Riza in the background threaten him with a pistol. Full Metal knew Roy wouldn't mess with the woman on a normal day, but now that she was 6 months pregnant with her second, he wouldn't even look at her the wrong way. So realistically, thanks to Riza Mustang, The Elrics had an in-house babysitter.
The Flame and his wife arrived shortly after 6:30pm with their five year old, Hughes. Winry was rushing to get ready and Edward barely had time to shower. He was the first to come, galloping down the stairs, his wet hair pulled back into a low pony tail. He was dressed in a black tux with out the jacket (which was slung over his metal arm) and Roy could see the black shirt he wore underneath the white dress shirt.
"Nice touch, Full metal...the black shirt under the white dress shirt, absolutely classy." Roy teased as he took his coat off. Edward shot him a dirty look and laid his jacket on the back of the kitchen chair. He mumbled in the mix something about the auto mail oil ruing his shirt and that the General was an ass.
"How are you Ed?" Riza asked as she pulled along a sleepy looking Hughes.
Edwards face softened. "I'd be better if we were not running late..." He told her sarcastically, but smiled warmly at her. His eyes caught her growing bump and his smile grew, showing his pearly whites.
"WINRY! C'mon! We're gonna be late!" He shouted up the stairs. He turned quickly, and walked into the living room where his children sat; his dress shoes clattered against the wood floors. One heavier that the other.
Maes was doing his math homework and Isabel was coloring. Roy and Riza followed slowly. Hughes made a beeline for the little girl that was sprawled on the floor coloring.
"Maes, you the man of the house tonight, so make sure this ass here takes care of you and your sister. No sweets, don't give me that look, I know you have been cutting into my liquorice stash. Take a shower, brush your teeth and lights out at nine. Make sure your sister gets her bear off my bed, she'll have fit. Mrs. Riza here too, take it easy on her. She will bathe your sister." He told the boy, with stern amber eyes. His gaze turned to the entire room.
"Oh and if I hear you guys did anything...anything bad, you'll be eating liver for a week, granny Pinako style. So behave and listen to Mr. and Mrs. Mustang ya hear?" He pointed a metal digit at the General.
"Yes sir!" All the kids cried in unison.
"WINRY!" He yelled stomping back into the foyer, at the bottom of the stairs.
Riza walked back into the same room, watching Edward shrug into his tux-coat.
"Roy told me you guys have been fighting again tonight...is everything okay?" She asked, walking up to the young, flustered man, adjusting his coat and tie. Edward scowled as she brushed the fuzzies from his jacket with her hands/
"Yeah...we're fine. She's just being a bitch. She'll get over it." He told her brashly.
"She's your wife, Edward respect her, love her, we only live once." The older blond smiled, averting her gaze to her husband who was in the living room quaking like a duck for the two small children.
"He can dive me crazy sometimes, but I love him still." She commented. The two heard Winry's high heeled feet clatter down the stairs. When she came to view, Riza thought she looked stunning in her navy, strapless gown. Her hair had been pinned up into a twist, with ringlets down each side of her face.
"Winry, you look beautiful." Riza smiled as Winry stepped down the threshold. Winry ignored the glare from her husband and hugged the older woman.
"No you look beautiful." Winry told her lovingly. "How have you been?" She asked, stepping back.
Riza flushed, and it seemed her ruby eyes shimmered with unleashed tears. "I am well. But you'd think Roy is the one pregnant. He complains about everything." She grinned as Winry took a peek at the alchemist in her living room. He saw her out of the corner of his vision and came into the room.
"Doctor Rockbell, if I wasn't married I'd ask you out right now. You are stunning. Full Metal how could you be mad at this? She's absolutely gorgeous!" The ebony haired man swooned.
Edward appeared with Winry's shawl and her crimson dress coat. "Well dick wad you are married, and she's my wife if ya forgot. An' we have somewhere to be right now." Edward snapped, putting the shawl over Winry's bear shoulders. Winry shot him a glare and snatched her coat from him.
"Edward, your so rude. Let's get going before I decide not to go. Period." She hissed going to the door and grabbing her car keys off of the end table near the door.
Edward growled following her and waved off to the sitters with a gloved hand.
"See ya Roy, Riza, thank you so much Help your self to anything!" Winry called as she went out to the door.
"You'r driving? In that?" They heard Edward squawk as he shut the door.
Th couple went back into the living with the children. Maes zipped his pack and threw it in the corner, declaring he was going to get his shower. Riza sat on the sofa near the children and Roy took a spot on the floor next to her.
"Hard to believe that he was once twelve...I mean he still looked it. But the brat has grown and has his own rug rats." Roy though out loud, leaning his head onto his wifes thigh.
Isabel looked up, her blues eyes shot to Riza's swollen stomach. " Your gonna have a baby right?" She asked, curiosity seeping out of her voice.
"Yup the stork is going to bring the baby really soon." Roy answered a smile evident on his face.
Isabels face darkened and she sat up. "There are no such things as storks and babies." She told them as-a-matter-a-factly, twirling a small finger in her golden hair.
Roy smirked at the child. "Oh really, than tell me Miss Isabel why wouldn't a stork bring a baby?" He charcoal eyes danced with mirth.
"Because babies come from susies. My daddy told me the stork is just a stupid fable to tell kids when you want to lie to them. He told me that I came from 46 pairs of chromosomes, 23 from him and 23 from mommy. That his fish that hav his genet-ic- um material swim to find an egg that has mommy's genetic mater-ial in mommy, they eat through it and it grows into a baby in 9 moths. The baby comes out of mommy's susie from her belly. There are no storks, Mr. Mustang, it's not scientific." The little girl mimicked her fathers tasteless lines.
Roy laughed out loud earning a scowl from the youngest Elric. "He told ou that did he?" He sputtered, as Riza almost looked horrified. "Fish?" She asked with a smile.
The girl huffed as if these adults would already know this, Duh! "Yeah, the fishies that live in daddy. He says mommy doesn't like the fishies so I won't get a little brother or sister...but he can still wrestle with her all the time." She finished.
Roy chucked again. "Sounds like something Full Metal would say, give all the chemicals, and not taste. Gross. He ruin's everything."
So the tale of the storks was never mentioned again around the Elric children.
