CHAPTER 4

INTENSE FEELINGS

Kat thank God when Adena puts on her robe before she leaned into her to ask if she was okay. She was sitting on the floor, holding her phone after she typed a quick text on their group chat. Adena leaning into her with that sexy black two-piece bikini will be the end of her. So she was very thankful that the woman covered her body before she went to ask Kat.

"I'm fine." Kat replies with a grin. Her eyes never left Adena's face.

Adena smiles as she extends her hand, offering Kat to stand up. Kat lets Adena help her. The butterflies in her stomach are going on a rampage once again when their hands touched.

"Are you sure…" Kat swallows hard as soon as she stands up. Their hands still touching. "Are you sure… uhm… you're okay with leaving the room wearing that?"

Adena furrows her eyebrow, narrowing her eyes at her. "What do you mean?" She asks in her thick accent that Kat loves to hear.

"I mean… isn't it very… uhm… revealing?" Kat looks away. Her heart thumps in her chest rapidly.

Adena chuckles lightly. "Oh! You mean the bikini?"

"And the uncovered hair?" Kat adds, gesturing on Adena's head.

"I didn't know that you're conservative, Kat." Adena laughs.

Kat pouts. "Now you're laughing at me." She looks away, letting go of Adena's hand. She didn't even realize that they were still holding hands earlier. It just felt natural for her.

"I'm wearing a robe, Kat." Adena says. Then she reach out for her hijab and ties it loosely on her head. "We're going on a spa remember?" Then she smiles. "Besides, you're with me. And I feel comfortable with you."

"Really?" Kat smiles cheekily.

"Yes, Kat. I am very comfortable with you. I hope you feel the same way too." Adena says, looking directly at her eyes.

Kat's mouth felt dry. She wanted to say that she is uncomfortable with her not because she's a lesbian. It's because she has a massive crush on her. And she feels going further down on the gay rabbit hole. And she wants to tell her that she really really REALLY likes her and she hopes she feels the same way too.

But of course, she couldn't say these things. "Of course, Adena. I feel the same way." She answers instead.

Adena smiles. "Then let's go."

Kat's heart threatens to burst out of her chest when Adena grabs her wrist and both of them head out to the door.


After their massage session, both of them went to the Jacuzzi. It's a very couple thing to do but hey, Kat isn't about to complain. Adena removes her robe and went to the hot tub first. Kat follows suit.

They both ordered drinks and were talking about how relaxing this feels when Kat goes on a more serious topic. She wants to know everything about Adena.

"Do you always know that you were into women, Adena?" Kat starts. Adena stares at her for a second and Kat feels embarrassed. "You don't have to answer that." She adds, looking away.

"I can answer that." Adena says.

Kat looks back at her. Adena smiles.

"I was a teenager when I fell in love with a girl. She was my bestfriend. She kissed me first and that's when I realize that yes, I was in fact into girls. With the country I was born at and my religion, loving girls is obviously not an option. So we kept it as a secret. Nobody suspected it. Even my family. We were planning to go to Dubai to gain freedom and even plan to travel the world so that we could be free of loving each other. We don't need to be subjected to arrange marriage if we just run away." Adena says looking away.

"What happened?" Kat asks softly.

"My family and her family arranged her to wed my older brother." Adena says.

"Oh."

Adena looks at her. "I was heartbroken when she let them. I asked her to run away with me but she was afraid. She married my brother and at the night of their wedding, I left. I've never seen her since then. I just talked to my mom sometimes but I would never go back to my home country again. It turns out that my family knew of our relationship that's why they arranged the marriage. They just didn't think that I'm going to leave because of that."

"Do you still love her?" Kat asks, her heart breaking apart as she waited for Adena's answer.

Adena stares at her directly into her eyes. "I never regret leaving my country. If I will be given the chance to talk to her, I would say thank you. I would thank her because of what happened, I strive for freedom and here I am now. I'm living my life. I'm living it, as I wanted it to be." Then she smiles at Kat, "To answer your question, I don't love her anymore. I stopped loving her when she agreed to marry my brother."

Kat nods. "That was really hard for you."

"My heart was broken, yes, but it was the best thing that happened to me."

Kat sips on her champagne.

"How about you? Have you ever thought of falling for a woman?" Adena asks and that made Kat chokes on her drink. "Kat, are you okay?"

Kat coughs. "I'm fine. Wrong… pipe…." She mumbles.

Adena leans into her to soothe her back. Kat realizes how dangerously close they are. Her eyes darted towards Adena's mesmerizing lips. She swallowed hard and licks her lips.

"Kat?"

With the sound of Adena's voice calling her name, she lifts her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Adena asks.

"Uhmmm…" Kat clears her throat and leans away from Adena. Her cheeks blushing hard. "I'm okay. Thanks Adena."

Adena laughs. "You should be careful next time."

Kat nods and at the back of her mind, she was glad that the conversation was drifted away from Adena's personal question about the possibility of her liking girls.


"You have to tell us everything." Sutton insists.

Kat was in a cloud nine when Jane and Sutton grab her wrist as soon as she opens the door and force her to enter their room. Adena was currently in the shower.

"She is breathtaking." Kat says, exhaling a deep breath.

Jane furrows her eyebrow, "Wow. I can't believe that I'll be hearing those words coming out of your mouth, Kat. That is super cheesy."

"Yeah." Sutton nods. "This pining over Adena thing is really getting serious." And then she adds laughing, "And cheesy."

Kat glares at them. They both laugh at her. Kat joins in.

After the laughter faded, Kat looks at both of her best friends, "I really like her. But how can I tell her?"

"Tell us everything that happened first." Sutton crosses her arms.

Kat rolls her eyes. "Well, actually. We were in the spa. I kinda peek at her when she removed her top. And don't give me that look, I haven't seen anything. She was just there and I couldn't look away immediately. Well, before she turns to me, I look away at the exact moment so yeah, I didn't see anything. Satisfied?"

Sutton and Jane both roll their eyes. "Continue." They said.

Sutton adds, "You should have look though." She giggles.

"Anyway," Kat continues, ignoring Sutton, "After the body massage, we went directly to the Jacuzzi. I was drinking champagne and she was drinking her juice. We talked a lot of things. Serious things." Kat sighs. "She was just so beautiful, you know."

"Wow."

Kat nods. "Yeah. Wow. She looks so sexy in her bikini too. It's like she works out A LOT. She even has abs! I'm actually jealous."

"Oh yeah?" Jane grins.

Kat continues. "Yeah. I really thought I wasn't a boobs girl but damn! I just ate my words. I'm totally into boobs now."

"Okay, okay. Too much information." Sutton shakes her head. "With the way you're describing Adena, I'm afraid that I might go down in the gay rabbit hole with you too, Kat."

Kat looks at Sutton. "She's mine."

Sutton laughs. "Oh wow. Possessive Kat. That's new."

Jane joins in. "Okay, so is it a Kat = 1 Adena=3 now?"

Kat blushes. "Yeah. I think so. It might even be a landslide. I don't stand a chance. She is just so calm and collected and I feel like I'm a jumbling mess in front of her."

"So what now? When are you going to tell her?" Sutton asks.

Kat sighs. "Soon."

Hopefully.


"Oh hi Kat. Where did you go?" Adena asks. She was sitting on the couch wearing a tank top and short shorts.

Can Kat survive sleeping with her on one bed?

"I was with Sutton and Jane." Kat replies, sitting on the couch beside Adena while she maintains a safe distance.

"Are they mad at me that I stole you from them?" Adena asks, looking at her. Her tone teasing.

"Pfft." Kat chuckles. "They're fine. Don't worry about them."

"Okay." Adena smiles at her. "That's good to hear." She reaches out for the remote. "Now, what do you want to watch?"

"Anything." Kat answers.


Kat opens her eyes slowly and then realizes that she fell asleep on Adena's lap. The woman's attention was still on the TV screen while she absentmindedly strokes Kat's hair.

"You're awake." Adena looks at her. Kat sits up slowly, her cheeks flushed.

"I'm sorry. I fell asleep." Kat said, stretching her arms.

"That's fine." Adena chuckles. "Let's go to bed?" she asks and Kat's heart missed a beat at the implications of that sentence. If only, she thought to herself.

Kat walks straight to the bed while Adena turns off the remaining lights.

They both settle comfortably on the bed. Kat's heart beats rapidly again.

"Goodnight Kat." Adena whispers softly.

"Goodnight Adena." Kat replies.


Kat wakes up slowly and then she found herself spooning Adena. Kat's eyes were wide in an instant as she realizes how their bodies were entangled with each other. She could even inhale Adena's amazing scent.

Adena must have felt her move when suddenly she heard her voice. "Good morning." She said in a husky tone.

"Uhm… Good morning Adena." She said in a high pitch voice that made the woman turn to face her.

She looks so calm and Kat mentally scolded herself for being like this in front of this amazing woman. "You're very warm." Adena said in a sleepy tone.

"I am?" Kat grins.

"It's comfy." Adena said, her eyes are still hooded.

"Really?" Kat asks dumbly.

Adena nods, closes her eyes, wraps her arms on Kat and then drifted into sleep.


"What happened then?" Sutton asks eagerly.

"Nothing." Kat said after taking a sip on her juice. "I went back to sleep while cuddling her."

It was Jane's turn to ask. "And then? Did you talk about it?"

Kat shakes her head. "When I woke up, she wasn't there anymore so we didn't really had the chance to talk about the cuddling fest."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Kat adds.

The three best friends are hanging out by the beach. The sun is up and it was a very good time to go swimming or just relax.

Sutton lowers down her shades as she looks at Kat, "Where is she now?"

"I don't know." Kat replies. "Probably swimming."

Jane sighs. "Kat, did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, Adena is playing with you?"

Kat removes her shade to look at Jane directly. "Adena would never do that."

Jane raises her hand in mock surrender. "Hey, it was just a thought. I mean obviously she knows that you're an 'out and proud hetero' but I don't know. I mean, how could she not know that you're into her? You're not really very subtle with your glances and actions."

Kat sighs. "If she knew that I'm into her, why is she not making a move?"

"Maybe because she knows that you're an out and proud hetero?"

"Can we stop saying 'out and proud hetero'?" Kat winces.

Sutton laughs. "Hey, those are your chosen words."

"Yeah. It's dumb. I shouldn't have told her that. I should have said that I refused to label myself." Kat says.

"Hey. You were straight until you met Adena right? You just told her the truth when she asked you about your sexual orientation." Jane says which made Sutton nod.

Kat sighs deeply. "I need to tell her before this vacation ends though. If she doesn't feel the same way, then so be it. I'll just do my best to avoid her at all times at work."

Jane and Sutton look at each other. They're not sure if that's a good idea. Kat can't really avoid Adena at work. So they hope that Adena feels the same way about Kat.


Kat feels determined. She feels that this is the right time to tell Adena how she feels. She hasn't seen Adena the whole day so she just ate dinner with her friends and now she's going back to their hotel room hoping to finally find Adena there.

The elevator opens and Kat almost steps back when at the same exact moment, she saw a woman kissing Adena in front of their room. The sound of the elevator must have alerted the two women because the woman turns to the side and sees Kat stepping back into the elevator.

They were staring at each other for a second before Kat breaks apart. She points at the Ground floor and hastily clicks on the close button, her hands trembling.

Her heart breaking apart.


"So this is what it feels like." Kat says, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Kat." Jane says, as she wraps her arms around her. Sutton strokes her back for comfort.

As soon as she fled the scene, she called her two bestfriends and told them to meet her by the beach. It was dark and only few people were there. The three of them sat by the stone away from the hotel. They let Kat cries her heart out.

"I really thought she has feelings for me. And I'm such an idiot." She says, her voice trembling.

"No Kat, don't say that. You fell for her. That didn't make you an idiot." Sutton says as she strokes her hair.

"I'm so glad this vacation is over by tomorrow." She mumbles. "I think I can't handle being in the same room with her anymore."

"We will get your clothes tomorrow, okay. Let us handle it."

Kat blinks. "I ran away. I shouldn't have run away. I don't know if she saw me. If she did, she would have suspected about my feelings for her."

"I thought you want her to know about your feelings?" Jane asks.

"Not anymore." She replies, wiping her tears away.

This is why she doesn't do feelings. The drama of it all. She hates it.


"Kat!"

Adena's voice fills the entire room as soon as she enters.

"Where did you go?" Adena asks, now standing in front of Kat. She looks so worried. "I was trying to call you. I couldn't reach out to you. It's getting late. It made me worried."

But Kat's walls are backed up. She walks away, ignoring Adena. "I lost my phone. I have to go back to the beach to find it." She said in an emotionless tone.

"Okay. Uhm…" Adena follows behind her. "Did you had a nice day with your friends?" she asks casually, obviously trying to open up a conversation.

"Uh-uh." Kat nods. She goes straight to the closet and lifts her luggage. She starts to put her clothes inside the luggage.

"We can do that tomorrow. You look tired." Adena says.

"I'm going to sleep with my friends tonight. It's the last day of our vacation and I want to spend it with them." She answers without looking at Adena.

"Oh." Adena blinks.

Silence envelops them.

Kat moves around the room trying to ignore Adena.

"Kat. Are we okay?" Adena finally had the courage to ask as soon as she saw Kat finishes zipping her luggage. She sat on the edge of the bed watching Kat.

"Yeah. We're cool." Kat says as she tries to busy herself while walking around the room even though she already took all of her things.

"Is this about this morning?" Adena asks.

Kat furrows her eyebrow and looks at her. "What?"

"This morning. I made you uncomfortable didn't I? I cuddled with you and I didn't even ask for permission if I could do that, I mean, you must have thought that I'm a lesbian predator or something trying to seduce a straight girl." Adena says. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Kat stops pacing around the room. What? What is she saying? Kat asks herself.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable in any way, Adena." She says and then adds. "You thought that was the reason I'm not sleeping here in our room?"

Adena nods.

Kat's gaze softens. "I never thought of you as a lesbian predator, Adena." Kat mentally kicks herself when she sees Adena's eyes brimming with tears. She wipes it away with her thumb. "Sometimes I even wish for you to be like that to save me all the trouble trying to figure out how to tell you about my… feelings."

Adena blinks. She stands up so she could meet Kat's gaze.

Kat's feelings are now in the open. She already started it so she might as well finish what she started.

"I was trying to figure out how to tell you about what I really feel for weeks now. I just didn't have the courage to do it." Kat looks away, the intensity of Adena's eyes is too much for her. "You're the only person that made me feel what I'm feeling right now. Being with you, talking with you, everything that has something to do with you… It makes me feel something." Kat's voice trembles as she stares back at Adena. "My heart beats fast when I'm with you. There's this butterflies in my stomach that won't go away when I'm near you. I want to kiss you every single time we stare at each other for more that one second. And I… I've never felt like this… in my entire life…" She swallows hard before speaking again. "And when I saw you kissing another woman, I just…" she looks down, tears threatening to escape as she remembers that scene from earlier. "I just… I just couldn't handle it. It was so painful. It feels like my heart is breaking apart literally." She breathes out. "You make me feel, Adena. And I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Because… I think… I think…" She stares right back at Adena before swallowing the lump in her throat, "I think… I'm falling for you…"

Adena didn't say anything. She reaches out for Kat's cheek and leans into her.

The moment their lips presses against each other, Kat feels spark all over her entire being. THE 'Spark'. The electricity.

The world seems to stop.

Everything seems to fade.

She could feel every fiber of her being awakens with this simple kiss.

It was magical.

It was just lips against lips, unmoving, but it held so much power that it feels like it was passionate than any other kisses she had. It feels like this is the first time she was kiss in her entire life.

It was Adena who pulls away. She opens her eyes and meet Adena's soulful stare.

"Kat, I've been attracted to you ever since I saw you in the nurse's station. But I couldn't act upon my feelings because you told me you weren't into women. So I just let myself be close to you as friends but I never expected that you would reciprocate my feelings." Adena says, breathes out and continues, "Being with you made me feel things too. And when I told you that I didn't regret leaving my country even though I was broken hearted, the real reason for that is because if I didn't leave the circumstance I had in Iran, I would have never met a wonderful person like you. So yes, I do not have any sort of feelings for Shireen because once again, I'm falling in love… deeply with you, Kat… And I would even thank her for breaking my heart because if not for her, then I wouldn't fall in love again with a cute nurse I ever laid my eyes on." Adena smiles warmly at her. "And the woman that you saw, that's Coco. She was trying to get back together with me but I told her I'm in love with you. She even laughed at me because I told her you were straight. We're still friends but I didn't expect for her to kiss me so I was caught off guard. She was trying to prove to me that we can be together but I told her no. I think that was the scene that you witnessed earlier. I'm sorry."

Kat smiles. Her heart is filled with love. She reaches out to the side of Adena's neck and pulls her towards her. "I love you, Adena El-Amin." She murmurs before capturing Adena's lips with her own.

Their second kiss was different.

Kat angles her head to deepen the kiss while Adena reciprocates it with equal intensity.

Kat massages Adena's tongue with her own and that elicits a moan from Adena. It was super hot.

Kat never thought that kissing girls would feel like this. She never thought that a woman's lips are so much softer than a man.

She never thought that she would fall in love to an amazing woman like Adena. And she never thought that Adena would reciprocate her feelings.

These lesbian feelings are indeed intense. But she loves every single moment of it.

"I love you too, Kat Edison."


The next morning…

"I have to tell you something!" Kat exclaims as soon as Jane opens the door.

"Where were you? We were waiting for you last night." Jane says as she closes the door.

"Where's Sutton?" Kat asks, ignoring Jane's question.

"In the shower." Jane answers.

Kat grabs Jane's wrist and then she went towards the bathroom. "Sutton! We're coming inside!"

Before Sutton even reacts, Kat and Jane were already inside.

"What is happening?" Sutton asks, as she reaches out for the towel that Kat gave her. She wraps it around her body and then steps outside the shower.

Kat breathes. Then she smiles widely. "I kissed Adena!"

"Oh my god!" Jane and Sutton exclaims.

"Yes! I kissed Adena!" She repeats.

"And you liked it!" Jane and Sutton screams.

"I liked it!"

The three of them scream in excitement.

"And that's not all." Kat says, smiling again. Jane and Sutton waited for it. "I made love with Adena last night!"

Jane and Sutton widen their eyes. "And you loved it!"

Kat grins. "And I loved it!"

The three of them scream in excitement again.

"Oh my god! You have to tell us the details." Sutton said.

"Yeah. I need it too for my research." Jane adds.

"What research?" Sutton asks.

"They said that girl and girl action is more passionate than hetero sex. I want to know if it's true." Jane explains.

Kat smiles widely again and nods. "Oh yeah, Jane! It definitely is!"

"Oh my god! DETAILS!" Sutton exclaims.


THE END