JANUARY 2006

Kim reported to the Disney All-Stars training camp in mid-January, 2006. One of the first things she did was to have a complete physical examination. She later commented that she'd never been so poked and prodded in her life. Upon passing the physical, she was issued her uniform (#16) which was presented to her at a press conference, and shown to the quarters she'd live in during her career as a Disney All-Star.

The players' living quarters was in a secluded section of the Walt Disney World complex, and was segregated into male and female housing units. Each unit was a one-bedroom apartment, and had a living/dining room, kitchenette, a bathroom with tub and shower, and a small walk in closet. A television and telephone was also provided (the players only being responsible for long-distance phone charges). Kim was asked if she needed a computer; a desktop machine would be provided complete with Broadband Internet access free of charge; she declined, saying she had her own laptop. Because players' time was at a premium during camp and the season, the players didn't need to worry about doing laundry. Kim found four burlap sacks, not unlike mail pouches, in her unit. One sack was for her colored clothes, another for whites, the third for permanent press items, and the forth was a spare. Whenever she needed laundry done, she was told to separate her clothes by color, place them in its proper sack, strap it, attach her name tag to the bag, and take it to the laundry chute down the hall for the staff to take care of. When the clothes were done, they would be delivered to her room, neatly folded and ready to be put away. After the "Introduction to Disney Laundry" lesson, it was time for Kim Possible to meet her neighbors.

Kim would be living among the classic Disney female characters that in recent times became popularly known as the "Disney Princesses". On was side of her was Snow White, on the other was Pocahontas's quarters. Ariel lived three doors down from Kim. And between Pocahontas and Ariel was a woman Kim knew only too well, Shego. Kim got to meet these "princesses", and while their appearances and mannerisms were the way she remembered them, they certainly didn't dress the way she remembered them. Rather than wearing ball gowns or Native American garb, the princesses wore jeans, tank tops, shorts, miniskirts and the like around the building. And rather than waltzes, these divas liked to listen to pop and rock music; Beyonce, Mirah Carey, Rob Thomas, and Madonna being popular among them. Ariel, liked to alternate her musical listening between Motley Crue and '70's Disco. However, these princesses were just as friendly and nice as Kim remembered them. Pocahontas put it best. "If you need anything, or someone to talk to, we're here for you," she told Kim. Kim quickly developed a bond between the princesses, and they all became the best of friends.

The next day, camp began in earnest, and the pace was just as frantic and punishing as Kim was told to expect. The first week began with pushups, sit-ups, wind sprints, mile-long runs, and other conditioning drills. The sessions didn't last long, one in the morning, and one in the afternoon, which only lasted two hours or so, but the pace was hectic, and no time was wasted. After the first day on the "job", Kim returned to her unit after training table, totally exhausted. She thought she'd unwind by either watching some television or listening to some music. No sooner than she'd begin to settle in then came a pounding on her door. She opened her door, and there stood none other than Steve Barkin, her "permanent" substitute teacher from school! This man had all the appearances, attitude, and mannerisms of a Marine Corps drill instructor.

"Hello, Possible," Mr. Barkin said. Mr. Barkin rarely if ever, addressed people by their first name.

"Mr. Barkin, why are you here?" Kim asked.

"Ah, I'm happy you asked that, Possible," Barkin replied. "I've been assigned as a 'special educational liaison' between Middleton High School and the Walt Disney All-Stars. In other words, I'm your tutor and chaperone. I guess you can say you're my 'special project'."

"A special whatsit?" Kim replied.

"Can the jokes, Possible," Mr. Barkin barked. "I'm here to see that you get an education. Nobody flunks out on Steve Barkin's watch. And I'm only going to say this once; I can be the nicest guy you'd ever meet, or I can make your life so miserable; it's up to you. You do what I ask of you and we get along fine, but you step out of line, just once…"

"Oh, don't worry about me," Kim answered. "You got my word, I'll do exactly what you ask." At the same time Kim thought, "So NOT the nice dude!"

"I'm glad to hear that, Possible," Barkin said. "I see you brought your laptop. Boot it up and get Wade on that thing. Then grab your books and let's get started. It's time for study table and we've got work to do." And so every Sunday through Thursday evening from 6:30 until 8:00, Steve Barkin held study table with Kim as his reluctant pupil. And when Kim's Disney Princesses friends invited her to the movies, dance clubs, or concerts, Barkin tagged along as well.

Practices during camp were scheduled Monday through Saturdays with two-a-days Monday through Fridays, and a short session on Saturday mornings. The weekday sessions were scheduled with one at eight in the morning and another at three in the afternoon. The Saturday morning practice was held at nine in the morning, meaning that the players got to sleep in an extra hour. There was no practices scheduled on Sundays, but those who choose to could attend chapel, followed by a late morning brunch. The way the schedule worked was that all time on the weekends after the Saturday morning practice was free time. The players usually spent early Saturday afternoons cleaning their units, then hung out, visited with friends or family, and often went to concerts or movies on Saturday night. There was no set curfew, but players were urged to be judicious about the hours they kept, and told to avoid bars and "adult" businesses. Kim's parents visited her every weekend during camp, and always brought Ron Stoppable, Kim's best friend with them. Kim appreciated these visits, as they helped alleviate any feelings of homesickness.

After about three weeks of fundamentals, the practices turned to "breakdown sessions" which isolated some technique or procedure of football, accompanied by game simulation. This day, Kim was participating in a four on four scrimmage. Kim was to be assigned as a wide receiver, so she took part in a passing drill, the object of which was to teach passing routes while honing the skill of catching the ball in traffic. Mickey Mouse was the quarterback; Donald Duck was the center, while Minnie Mouse and Kim were the wide receivers. On defense was Kim's friend Snow White, Mulan, along with reserve players Dr. Drakken and Shego. Mickey would alternative throwing the ball to either Minnie or Kim. The first time Kim caught one of Mickey's passes Shego came back and dropkicked Kim hard. The redhead lay face first on the ground while Shego stood over her, grinning.

"Hey!" Mickey yelled, running to the spot where Shego's transgression occurred. "If you pulled that stunt during a game," Mickey told the black haired nemesis sternly, "you'd be ejected and suspended immediately, I assure you. Need I remind you that if you get kicked off this team, you'd go straight back to prison? So I'd advise you to knock off the roughhouse stuff. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," Shego replied. Then after Mickey left, Shego mumbled to herself, "Ah, he's taking all the fun out of football!" Kim picked herself up off the ground, shook the stars out of her head, and the drill resumed without further incident.

Two nights later, during study table, Mr. Barkin quietly told Kim, "You know, Kim, there are a lot of people in Middleton, myself included, who are rooting for you. And I'm here to see to it that you don't let them down."

"Gee, Mr. Barkin, I appreciate that," Kim answered. Mr. Barkin briefly allowed himself a grin but said, "Let's get to work." But less than forty-five minutes later, the ugly side of Steve Barkin became apparent. It started when Kim missed two straight trigonometry questions.

"Possible, do you have a problem with trig?" Barkin said roughly. "That's two in a row you've missed. Now drop and give me twenty."

"Twenty what?" Kim asked perplexed.

"PUSHUPS!" Barkin roared. "What'd you expect to give me, twenty bottles of Bud? Just for that, you can give me thirty! Get going! Unless you want to try for fifty!"

"Yes, sir," Kim answered and dropped to the floor to do her pushups. After about twenty-three or so, Barkin stopped Kim, saying she'd done enough pushups, and that she should get up and get back to work.

The next day, the Princesses told Kim that they heard the commotion coming from her unit. They had thought a madman named "Bud" who had a pushup fetish had invaded Kim apartment, and was fixing to attack her. In fact, the princesses were about ready to break down Kim's door and rescue her from this madman. "No big. That's just my tutor," Kim told them. They all had a good laugh over the incident.

About a week later, all the players went to the Buena Vista Nightclub near the Disney football complex for a show celebrating Florida's Hispanic heritage. This three hour show had three hour-long parts, the first portion was mainly marimba and Maruichi music, followed by tropical Latin music performed by the one and only Gil Lopez, and finally, Latin alternative and the Latin hip-hop music known as reggaeton. Of course, Mr. Barkin accompanied Kim Possible to this show. After the Mexican part of the show concluded, Gil and his "Musica de la Salsa" band took the stage and the party began in earnest. Many of the players (including the princesses) took to the dance floor and began dancing, some quite acrobatically. Kim noted that some of their dance moves were not unlike some of the moves she employs when fighting people like Shego. The rhythms were quite intoxicating, and she was fixing to get up and dance herself. And the bandleader himself was quite the hunk. "Gee, what a handsome dreamboat," Kim thought to herself, and she gazed in his direction and winked at him. To Kim's surprise, Gil met her gaze and winked right back at her.

Mulan saw this and said to Kim, "Kim, he may be a hunk but he's spoken for, you're wasting your time and your winks. Ever heard of She-Ra?" Kim looked at Mulan and asked, "She-Ra who's that a Shego wannabe?" Mulan replied, "No Kim, She-Ra is known as The Princess of Power, she's the quarterback and captain of a team known as The Masters of Power. You'll know her soon enough; her team is in our division. We even heard that She-Ra body slammed Daphne Blake to the floor of the dining room of the cruise ship they were on during that Goodwill Tour last year. All because she thought Daphne tried to take him for herself when she in reality, introduced her to him."

Kim then said, "I'd better keep my distance from her then." Mulan replied, "Don't worry about it Kim, She-Ra is a heroine. She's a princess just like most of us, she's very pretty just like us, but she can take care of herself unlike some of us. Most of us look up to her. She is actually very nice. She developed feelings she never knew she had before and it got the best of her at first." Kim got confused but then asked, "OK so like who is Daphne Blake?" Mulan replied, "Daphne Blake is only the hottest player in the entire league." But you might know her best as the clumsy mystery solver that Scooby-Doo had along with him when solving mysteries."

But what happened next caught Kim and everybody else completely off guard. Mr. Barkin saw Gil's wink, and before anyone could stop him, he leaped out of his seat, jumped on stage, and confronted Gil. "Hey!" he shouted. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Gil looked at Barkin and said, puzzled, "I beg your pardon?" Gil was troubled by this turn of events. First Verona Dimpsey, now this idiot. The thought was in his head, that America was land of the nut and the home of the raving lunatic.

"I saw you wink at that girl, Pedro," Mr. Barkin said roughly.

"So?" Gil asked.

"So, I think you're nothing but a pedophile," Barkin responded.

"Who are you, her father?" Gil said, becoming increasingly alarmed.

"No, I'm not her father," Barkin replied. "I'm her teacher, and I'll teach you to pick up underage girls!" With that Barkin swung at Lopez, the blow missing the Latin drummer. Then Barkin picked up one of Gil's congas and was about to throw it at him when Kim and the princesses arrived. They grabbed Barkin by the arms and dragged him backwards, while Gil was being restrained by his own bandmates.

"Let go of me, God damn it!" Barkin screamed. "Let go!" They did not let go of him. As Gil left the stage, Barkin continued to scream an unbroken string of oaths at the bandleader, including several Hispanic slurs. The incident proved to be a real showstopper as the rest of the program was cancelled, and the players were returned to their units. The following Monday morning, Mr. Barkin was asked to report to the Disney football office. There, he was told that maybe he was being over-protective towards Kim, and that any further incidents like the one that occurred at the club would lead to his being relieved as Kim's tutor. Barkin agreed to ease up on Kim.