I'm going to publish this chapter really quickly before I lose my computer due to internet problems...so here! *tosses it at everyone*
Thank you, 64K, for being your fabulous self and beta-ing this!
"Flee!" Elladan screamed, running like heck for the woods outside of Imladris. Elrohir was right behind him.
"Flee!" they both screamed. "Flee for your lives!"
Everyone kept walking and ignored them.
"DOOOOOOOOM," said Elladan, then ran off into the woods. Elrohir screamed and ran after him.
As they were running through the woods, they suddenly tripped over a gypsy elf sitting gypsily on the ground.
"Careful, my man," said the gypsy elf.
Elrohir and Elladan landed on the ground and cried.
"Whoa, what's wrong?" said the gypsy elf, patting their heads.
"It's awful," Elrohir sobbed. "Everyone is slaying their sisters!"
The gypsy elf choked and coughed and cleared his throat. "What do you mean? Who's slaying their sisters?"
"EVERYONE! THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU!" Elladan screamed, then passed out.
Lindir suddenly burst through the bushes. He screeched to a stop when he saw the sobbing Elrohir, the unconscious Elladan, and the starting-to-panic gypsy elf. "Oh..." said Lindir, beginning to back away. "Er...my bad. Must go now!"
The gypsy elf grabbed his foot and dragged Lindir to the ground. "Did you tell them?!" the gypsy elf said, shaking Lindir frantically.
"No!" squeaked Lindir. "I didn't, it was Glorfindel and Erestor's fault! Please don't kill me, Gildor!"
"I'll consider not killing you," said the gypsy elf aka Gildor Inglorion.
Lindir passed out.
"Ooh, what's this?" Gildor said, pulling a List out of Lindir's hands. He read it, and his eyes widened. "So THAT'S what Erestor's been hiding this whole time! I don't think this needs to be revealed to the public!" He jumped up and shredded the paper, then scowled at Lindir.
"You traitor," he said. Then he slapped his forehead. "Oh no! I could have used that as blackmail material! Oh well...I'm going to go tell Erestor and Glorfindel where these three are." He dashed away.
Elladan and Lindir sat up, and Elrohir stopped sobbing.
"Quick!" Lindir said. "Let's go!"
They dashed away to hide in Arwen's room.
Arwen was watching Cindyrella, but she didn't even look at her brothers and Lindir as they scurried under her bed to hide.
"Okay," said Lindir, pulling out the Actual List from his pocket. "Here it is – I stole it from Erestor! We need to –"
A knock came at Arwen's door.
"Good evening, Arwen," said Erestor at the door. "I just heard the phrase 'stole it from Erestor' coming from this room. Would you happen to know what it came from?"
"Yup," said Arwen, her eyes fixated on the screen where Cindyrella was singing and dancing in her ridiculous glass slippers. "It must've come from the TV."
"Ri-i-i-ight," said Erestor suspiciously, then vanished.
"Anyways," said Lindir. "It's a good thing that I made a copy of this. So here it is! The Complete Actual List of everyone who had a Dis-Sis and 'accidentally' murdered or had someone else murder them."
"Wait, what's a Dis-Sis?" Elrohir said.
"It's a Disney Sister," Arwen said from on top of the bed, then didn't talk again for the rest of this chapter.
"Ohh, that makes sense," Elladan said. Then he fainted.
Lindir and Elrohir looked very evil.
"So," said Elrohir. "Glorfindel's sister is Rapunzel, I assume?"
Lindir nodded. "And Erestor's is Jasmine." He sobbed angstily into the handkerchief that just appeared into his hand. "And my sister was Snow White – I miss her so muuuuuuuuch!"
"Eh," said Elrohir. "So who was Gildor's sister?"
Lindir stopped sobbing angstily and looked around very sneakily. "Her name was Cinderella," he said.
Elrohir gasped. "There's a movie called Cindyrella, what if they're all the same?!"
Lindir rolled his eyes angstily. "Duh, they're called Dis-Sisters for a reason."
"Uhh...what reason?" Elladan said, waking up.
"I should go team up with my cousin, you guys are acting like morons," Lindir said. "DUH. It's because they're main stars in these famous movies! DUH. And their brothers got jealous, so they slew them! DUH."
"YOU SLEW YOUR SISTER BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS?" said Elladan.
Elrohir made the O.O face.
Lindir smacked them both. "No!" he said angstily. "I didn't slay her; Erestor did! So I must have my revenge by revealing all of the Dis-Sis Slayers! Once everyone on this List has been revealed, their lives will be ruined and my revenge will BE COMPLETE." He cackled evilly.
"Evil!Lindir is creepy," Elrohir said.
"Yup," Elladan said.
"So!" said Lindir, tossing the List somewhere. "I've memorized the List! Let's go find the next person!"
Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other. Elrohir held up a finger.
"Just a minute, Lindir; we're going to talk about this."
"Okay," Lindir said. He took out a pen and doodled on Arwen's bedspread as the twins dove over the side of the bed and out of sight.
Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other.
Elladan raised an eyebrow.
Elrohir shrugged.
Elladan made the -_- face.
Elrohir giggled.
Elladan rolled his eyes.
Elrohir nodded.
Elladan smiled.
They both climbed back on the bed.
"Alright," Elladan agreed –
"WAIT," came a Grammar Nazi voice next to them.
It was Erestor.
"Do not say 'alright'," Erestor ordered, looking at his notepad as he scribbled in it. "It might be considered 'correct' to your downfallen generation, but back when grammar was actually considered important, it was not the right word. If you'd like to use a word besides 'okay' (which, by the way, was invented about a hundred years ago), then say 'All right'. Understand?"
"All right," Elladan said.
"Good." Erestor vanished.
"All right," Elladan agreed, looking at Lindir. "We'll help you reveal the secrets of the List. We need revenge anyway – Glorfindel was threatening to hug us, and Erestor made us pass out multiple times."
"It's not very good for our public image," Elrohir added.
"How did Gildor's sister die anyway?" Elladan asked.
Lindir looked at the List that had magically reappeared in his hands again. "She 'accidentally' tripped over her glass slipper that weren't actually glass (see: translation errors), and she broke her neck."
"Oh."
"Oh."
"So you're joining me, then?" Lindir said.
"Yes," they agreed.
"Good." Lindir jumped up and walked out the door. The twins followed.
Arwen waved.
"So," said Elrohir as they went down the hall.
"So what?" Lindir said.
"I'll ask you later," Elrohir said.
"Okay," Lindir said.
Then they heard an outraged voice behind them coming from Arwen's rooms. "Wait a second!" It was obviously Erestor. "I knew they were in here! Where are they?!"
The TV turned off, and Arwen squeaked.
"WHERE ARE THEY?" Erestor roared.
"Can I give her a hug?" said a happy voice from the room.
Something smashed over someone's head.
"Run," Lindir whispered.
They ran.
