Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instrument series. This is fanfiction, so this should be pretty much a given.

Author's Note: I thought Alec could be the type of character to understand his flaws and grow from them :) I actually enjoyed writing these chapters out in my notebook first while lying on my bed. It was calming & I needed that at the time. Anyways, I present to you chapter four slightly revised. Please, enjoy!


4

Remorse

Wow, Alec. You really kept your cool.

"Shut the hell up!" Alec scolded himself angrily.

So much for learning how to keep your mouth shut.

"I thought I said shut up!" Alec closed his eyes tight and sighed. He looked up at the clear blue sky. He felt light-headed now. Almost like he didn't even want to put thought into anything anymore. Normally, he would've turned back home by now because honestly, where is there to go? But something was keeping him away, so he kept walking.

The black haired teen ended up passing a café' and he realized, he was sort of hungry. He back tracked and opened up the double glass doors gracefully. The chime went and a waitress greeted him. "Hello! How many?" She smiled, sporting short auburn hair and ivy eyes.

"Just one," Alec said, taking a glimpse around.

"Okay, follow me, please." The waitress seated him to a table in the back corner by a large window. "And are you ready to order, sir?" She dug out a pencil and notepad from her breast pocket.

"Um…" He pondered, flipping through the menu. Weird. He was hungry, but he didn't feel like eating. "I'll, uh, jut have a coffee…and some of this…French bread."

"Will that be all?" She jotted it down quickly.

"Yes."

"Okay, then. It'll be here shortly," she briskly swept up his menu and disappeared into the back.

Alec rested on his undamaged palm and averted his gaze out the window. His mind was blank for a moment before it started to settle on Jace. His expression then fell somewhat dim. It raced from him over to Clary. Alec sighed rubbing his hand across his face. Why was he being like this? Jace was right, he was acting different.

Alec took his hand away from his face and rested his head against the glass. The way he was acting was only troubling the people around him. Close to him. Isabelle. Jace… Damn, his list was short. Though, that wasn't the point. His dark blue orbs took a look at the sky. He needed to move on. Pull himself together. He let out a deep exhale.

What? You only need to move on when you get rejected, Alec.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled. He surely knew Jace's answer though. He wasn't gay. Not like Alec. That's why he wanted to keep these stupid feelings inside, so it wouldn't come to this.

Alec leaned away from the window and buried his face into his hands. He wished he would stop thinking. It was only making him feel worse.

"Clary…" he breathed lightly. He had been acting like an ass to her ever since she came to the institute. Shooting her evil glares. Spitting out harsh things that were completely uncalled for. Going out of his way to hate her. For what? Taking Jace from him? HE NEVER HAD HIM!

He shook his head, swinging his messy black hair gently. "I should make amends…" He thought about the idea. He wasn't hoping to be the best of friends with her or anything like that, but just to not have hell freeze over every time they were in the same general area. "I'll talk to her." He finished up his thoughts when the waitress returned.

"Here you go," she placed the plate in front of him along with his coffee, "And I'm Shirley, if you need anything."

"Thank you," he sipped at his coffee and looked out the corner of his eye as she smiled and walked off. She was a nice girl. It made him wonder why he stereotyped against most of them.

He placed his mug down and decided to go back to it when he finished his bread; giving some time for the hot beverage to cool off. He smiled to himself as the warm, buttery pastry rolled in his mouth and slid down his throat. It wasn't long before he polished it off and licked his lips. He slurped down the warm coffee and rose up from the seat and strolled towards the door.

"Um, sir, I haven't given you your check yet."

He held his hand against the glass door and looked back over his shoulder.

Shit, I don't have any money! Agh!

It was one of those sweat drop moments when he looked down embarrassingly. "I, uh, don't have any on me…" He glanced up at the blinking waitress. "I-I'm so sorry! God! I had a lot on my mind! Well, so much that it was kind of blank! So I wasn't thinking! But I felt hungry! So I stumbled in here! I didn't even realize I didn't have any cash! Ah, fuck, I'm such an idiot! I'm-"

"Chill. I got you covered."

Alec blinked. "What?"

"I said, I got you covered. I'll pay for it."

Alec stared at her for a moment. She would just pay for him? A girl that he didn't even know? Alec pouted a bit. It could always be his face. Girls were prone to being shallow like that. With his delicate facial features and dark eyes, many females were attracted to him, but that didn't mean he was attracted to them. He stared into her eyes as if searching for any trace of shallowness. Though all he found was an honest to goodness young women trying to help a guy out.

"Thank you…" he spoke reluctantly then cleared his throat and smiled more honestly, "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," she returned the gesture.

He pushes the door open with his back and spoke as he stood halfway through. "Hey, I'll pay you back… I'll drop by later, today or tomorrow, and pay you back."

She nodded even though speaking against it, "You don't have to."

"Oh, but I do." He breathed, glancing down silently. He hadn't been being fair to the girl's he's crossed in his life. He barely even knew any girls. This stereotypical personality… It was going to have to go. He thought of Clary as he peered at her in the hallway behind Jace. He recalled his urge to leave the household and was guilty for even the thought of punching her. "…Well, I have to be somewhere." Alec spoke leisurely, coming back to reality. "I'll see you later. And thanks again."

"Don't mention it!" She waved as Alec exited.

He went back to the Institute's property and pushed open one of the large double doors. His nose twitched a bit as the smell of the kitchen filled his nostrils.

"Isabelle," he breathed, leaning his head into the room. He saw her standing at the stove, a white apron tied tightly around her body and stirring large pot with a wooden spoon. "What's in this one?" Alec questioned out of habit.

She turned her head. "Oh, hey, Alec. …Enjoy your walk?" She smiled softly.

"Uh-huh." He walked over to her, not wanting to put much thought into his chat with Jace.

Isabelle blinked. "Oh, and this is split-pea soup. A really good one if I do say so myself." She smirked triumphantly.

He leaned over to peer into the pot. It looked more like green ectoplasm, but maybe that was just him. "Well, I already ate, Izzy. So don't fix a bowl for me."

"Riiight," she raised her eyebrows to emphasize her sarcasm.

"I'm serious," he chuckled, turning back around, "And hey, where's Clary?"

Isabella looked up at him. "Don't you mean the mundane?"

Alec smiled softly, shaking his head. "Not this time."

She stared at him for a moment before pointing her spoon to the right, dripping some soup. "I think she's still in the bath right now. She actually forgot to bring in a change of clothes, so I have to take her some of mine."

"Alright…" Alec glanced up, "Could you ask her to come to my room when she's done?"

"Um, sure." Isabelle blinked, taken aback. "But what for?"

Alec stepped out of the kitchen without responding and walked down the foyer to his room. He shut the door behind him and flopped down on his comfortable mattress, rolling over on his back and crossing his arms behind his head. He stared up at the ceiling before briskly letting his eyelashes fall over his orbs. His breathing began to steady as he fell asleep.


A/N: Aw, isn't Alec cute? lol jk Well, not really. I imagine him pretty hot in my mind ;) But he's realized his wrongs and is sorry! Aw! xD Weren't they suppose to make a movie of this series? What happened to that? D: Well, I guess it's a good thing they didn't because if they ruin my image of the characters like they did for Twilight I'm gonna be pissed. Okay, please, review, review, review on what you think! :D I really can't get enough of them. And don't worry about reviewing on every chapter, I don't find that annoying, I find it helpful! REVIEW!