Chapter 4 Alone
Castle was not surprised because he knew humans were curious. He put the book back on the shelf. "God is God; he is my father."
"No," she said as she shook her head, "what is he like as a person? What kind of dad is he? What does he look like?"
Castiel wasn't sure how to answer. "I don't know. I have never seen his face. Only a few angels have.. As for what he is like, well...he likes to create things. Humans though are his favorite creation, the one he is most proud of."
"Really?" She was shocked at the news. Of all the beautiful things on the earth and in the heavens, why would choose humans as his favorite? Though there were good people, Dean, Sam and Bobby being three such ones, there were plenty of bad ones too. "I never thought of God having favorites. Does he have favorite angels too?" She already knew she had one.
"He does not have favorites among my brothers and sisters. My father is not a human and therefore does not act or think like one," he told her. "I have never seen him but I do as he wills."
"Do you have a mom?" she continued curious to know more. "After all you have a dad."
Castiel almost smiled at the absurdity of her question." No. God created the angels and then mankind."
"I don't know my dad either. Wow, I have something in common with an angel," she said amazed at the thought. "Be honest Castiel, why are these demons after me? What do they want?" She abruptly changed the subject.
"As I said before, I don't know. I was honest. I do not lie," he replied.
"I guess I'm going to die aren't I. These demons, they're determined to get me. Life sucks!" She leaned her head against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. "Will I go to heaven?"
Castiel was not too surprised by this question. "Velvet, you are safe. Bobby knows how to keep out the demons and Sam and Dean, they'll never stop trying to keep you safe. I am also here to protect you. You are a good person with a good soul. Your place in heaven is assured." He sensed she needed to hear it.
She smiled in relief. At least something good would come of this mess. "So, what's it like in heaven? Is it like the Bible says? Will I have a crown and a mansion and a new body? I'd like to trade this one."
Castiel just could not understand humans and their disappointment with their bodies. His father had molded them in his image and God was perfect. "The fact that mankind is so diverse is one reason my father loves humans so much. Heaven is many things. Revelations did not have it exactly right. Heaven is a peaceful place. My father has placed his favorite creations there. It is where angels and God live. However, for humans it is different. Your happy memories will be there for you to relive. Everyone's heaven is different," he tried to explain.
She knew the disappointment must show on her face. Now she'd have to relive a life with Donald? What a jerk! She knew that now. He lacked force of will and confidence. If it hadn't been for her, he never would have made it through law school. After he was offered a partnership, he had ignored her most of the time. She had known about the affairs but had chosen to block it out. When he told her he was leaving, she was afraid. Being a divorced woman in her thirties was kind of scary and she now knew the only reason she wanted him to stay was because she didn't want to be alone. So heaven would be happy memories. She'd have her mom and little sister, grandparents and friends she supposed.
"I thought I was once loved but now I know he didn't love me the way he should. So I'll have no one to love me is that right? I mean someone who loves me with every fiber of their being hat is," she wondered aloud.
Castiel knew little of the human companionship they craved. He had seen Dean at work with women. He would smile and make small talk and end up with a phone number or end up with the woman for the night. Dean made no attachments to any of the women he got involved with. These short encounters gave Dean pleasure and Cas could not fault him for not making attachments. Their work was dangerous and anyone close to them would be in danger. Sam had lost Jessica and he had not found anyone he really liked except for an antiquities dealer.
"Do not abandon hope Velvet. Everything is as God wills," he attempted to be reassuring.
Velvet decided this conversation was getting depressing. Getting up, she retrieved a pack of playing cards from the desk. "How about a game of cards?" She asked the angel. He looked at her, his head tilted to the side.
"I do not know this game of cards," he said.
"Cards is not a game silly. You use the cards to play different types of games. We'll start simple," she explained. "Come sit on the other end of the cot." She patted the cot and began shuffling the cards. He watched with amazement as she worked the cards.
Handing him five cards, she first showed him how to hold them. She was sure he'd get the hang of it without a problem. She took five and placed the rest of the deck between them. "Ok this game is called Go Fish. The object is to collect as many matching pairs as you can. You will have to ask me the following "Do you have any twos?" If I do, I have to give the two to you. If you make a pair, you lay the pair down. If you asked me and I don't have a card you asked for I will say "Go Fish" and you have to take a card from the deck. Any questions?" She explained. He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him. "Can you see through my cards?" She asked suspiciously.
"Do I need to see through the cards?"
"No. I was just curious. No heavenly powers when playing cards," she told him. She suddenly realized she was being rather talkative again. His presence made her comfortable and her stomach was full of butterflies.
"I am ready to begin. I have no questions," he spoke his blue eyes studying the cards in his hand.
The game began and she won the first round. By the second time, Cas fully understood and won. There they sat, human and angel, playing a child's card game. Castiel found her fierce and competitive. She didn't like to lose. When she leaned over, he caught her scent. It reminded him of the waterfall in heaven where he liked to sit and think. She smelled fresh and sweet. He thought his heart started to beat faster. It sounded so loud to his ears. He was sure she must hear it.
"Gosh! It's 2 am! I gotta get some sleep," she asked as she collected the cards and returned them to the table. "Did you enjoy the game?'
"Yes. Can we play again?" He had seen Dean playing a game called poker to win money. He didn't think this was the same kind of game. More than anything, he liked spending this time with her. She was not what he expected.
"Not tonight but another time we will. There are lots of other games to play. Some simple and some complicated. Would you please turn around? I have to change," she said picking up her the old t-shirt and pajama bottoms.
"That is unnecessary," Cas replied. "I am familiar with the human female form." He never understood humans and their need to be modest.
"Well, you're not familiar with mine!" She retorted as she felt the blush spread over her cheeks. "Now turn around." She waited and said, "Go on now turn around."
Castiel turned around as she directed and listened to the rustle of clothing. He waited as she finished. It was odd being around a human that didn't like to change in front of him. Dean and Sam had no problems with it. He wondered if was because she was female.
"Ok, you can turn back around," she said as she hung the robe on a hook. She avoided looking at him. It was so strange. Even though she was covered and dressed in decent clothing, she felt as if she was wearing a revealing piece of lingerie. You gotta stop thinking about an angel like this she warned herself. Who was she kidding?
He stood up and she crawled under the blankets. Moving a chair beside the cot, he sat down.
She looked at him and said, "You don't have to sit beside me. It's alright to sit at the desk and read or practice your card skills or something."
"No. I will stay close as you sleep. If there is danger, I need to be nearby," he offered and sat unmoving in the chair.
"Ok then. Have it your way. Don't angels have to sleep?" She realized she knew nothing about angels.
"No."
"What about food? Do you eat?"
"We do not require those things humans do to sustain ourselves. We can digest food if we choose to eat. Sometimes it will help us to blend in."
"What about love? Everyone needs someone to love them," she said and yawned.
Cas was not expecting that. He knew humans experienced this feeling with others not in their family. It led to commitment, most times in a ceremony and procreation of children. He loved his father and his family but he didn't know anything about this type of relationship.
"I have my father and my brothers and sisters."
"No. I mean like a boy loves a girl, a woman loves a man, a husband loves his wife. That kind."
"No. Angels do not have that type of relationship with humans or each other."
Velvet felt her eyes getting heavier. She was more tired than she imagined. "That's sad. I bet you'd be good at it."
"Good at what?" he inquired.
"Love."
