From Pie to Tots
Chapter 4
Pot Pie
Artie took another bit of the Pot Pie that Kurt had sat down when he'd asked why Dave was there at the Coffee Bean with him. Suddenly it seemed unimportant, because… well he had food… good food… fucking delicious food. Dave slid a glass of soda towards him, he blinked, orange… he smiled… this was like… the best day freaking ever. He heard Kurt start to talk, then he realized..
"You guys are setting me up, aren't you?" asked Artie, putting his fork down.
"What? No," said Kurt with a slight shock.
"Babe, we kind of are… were seducing people with food," said Dave quietly, "My parents are getting weirded out I keep making pies.."
"Wait. Babe?... oh my… oh my…. Holy shit… wait, your gay?" asked Arite, eyes wide looking at Dave, "Since when?"
"Ever…." Said Dave.
"He was so far in the closet he bypassed Narnia," said Kurt, this was going pretty nicely.
"No fucking way… and…. You two are… an item?" asked Artie his brows shot up even higher, Dave slid another piece of pie over.
"Yes," said Kurt happily, taking Dave's arm, "Do you like the pie… Dave made it."
"…" Artie stared at the two and then to the pie, he looked torn, then he started crying.
"What the fuck is happening?" asked Dave quickly, but Kurt looked just as panicked.
"Oh my god… Artie? Are you okay?" asked Kurt circling the table and patting his friends' shoulders.
"Everybody's in love…. And… and I have no one," sobbed Artie, Dave felt even more awkward than he had a few seconds ago and darted off.
"David!... I swear if he keeps doing that were going to have a very long talk… Artie… Artie you have all of us, we love you," said Kurt, wrapping his arms around the other boys' shoulders.
"I don't care… As horrible as this sounds I was hoping at least you would be single so we could hang out while everyone else skipped through the fucking halls… and what about Santana?" asked Artie as Dave came back.
"Oh Artie, you know she's a lesbian," said Kurt, Dave looked ready to say something, "Baby… it's not a secret, we just humor her.. we all know."
"This sucks, now the only company I have when I got to the Lonely Hearts Club this year is… is Santana… and your ex… is that a cupcake?" asked Artie as Dave put an oversized cupcake down in front of him
"Where the hell did you get that?" asked Kurt, looking at Dave.
"I carry back up food in my trunk now… you never know," said Dave with a slight smile as he gingerly patted Artie's shoulder, who took a calm breath as he unwrapped the cupcake.
"Okay… okay… I'm done with my meltdown…. What are you up too?" asked Artie, snapping at Dave, who took a slight step back, "What are your motives Karofsky?"
"None… no.. I… I love Kurt," said Dave, ignoring the small audience that had started watching.
"You treated him like shit for two years, like I believe that!" said Artie.
"Haven't you ever said something hurtful to someone you love… I didn't mean any of that shit… most of the time I was yelling it at myself," said Dave.
"…." Artie looked between the two where Kurt had laced his fingers with Dave, and then back at the pot pie, he took another bite.
"Artie? We really are in love; David's not planning anything… I mean if he was would h be doing all of this baking and talking to my dad and friends?" asked Kurt, sitting down slowly next to Artie, Dave put his hands on the back of the chair and watched.
"I hate cooking," said Dave, "And I have a lifelong commitment to French Silk Pie now…"
"Also… Puck and Lauren broke up… so you're not the only one single in our group," said Kurt hopefully.
"Dude, he has waffles, he's never fucking alone," said Artie with an eye roll, he took another bite of pie, "I don't think I can… where the hell did that come from?"
"Ohm… my pocket," said Dave as he put some wrapped homemade toffee on the table and slid it to Artie.
"Wow… you're getting… good at this," said Kurt as Artie picked up the toffee.
"I promise, I have no ulterior motive with Kurt… I mean seriously do you think after all the freaking fantasies I've had that I would do anything to piss off the real thing," said Dave, sitting down.
"Let's not go there again, after Finn and the lube talk he keeps asking me all these questions now," said Kurt, his eyes wide.
"Are you two having sex?" asked Artie, his brows furrowed.
"Kurt seduced me," said Dave, seeing where Artie may be going, Kurt did nothing to defend himself.
"Seriously… you… seduced him?" asked Artie, shoving another piece of pot pie in his mouth and snickering, "No way.."
"Yeah… there wasn't even any middle ground when he did it either. He was over for PFLAG and he walked in my room and just shoved me on the bed," said Dave, Kurt's eyes went wide, because Artie turned all the way to Dave and took another bite.
"For serious?" asked Artie, who was laughing, "Kurt? Holy shit."
"Guys we can stop talking about this now," said Kurt as he noticed a couple people from school glancing at them.
"Yeah, I was still in a state of shock before I realized half are clothes were gone," said Dave, Artie picked up the whole plate of pot pier and placed it on his lap as his full attention was on Dave.
"Well, he does have a way with clothes in general… but I can't believe this… Kurt… whoa," said Artie.
"Guys… it's not really appropriate…" Kurt trailed off as a few people from other tables seem to scoot a little closer to them.
"Whoa… Kurt's into bondage?" asked Artie, taking a drink from his soda.
"I still don't know how he got my shirt tied to the banister so freaking fast," said Dave, missing Kurt standing up.
"Well… I guess I should leave you two alone… yup… I'm leaving… bye," said Kurt getting closer and closer to the door, Dave was still talking to Artie, he walked out.
"I can't believe Kurt's into kink… he always seems so chaste," said Artie.
"What else have you guys done?" asked a random guy from the next table, Dave and Artie froze and looked around.
"Ohm… maybe we should," said Dave, standing up.
"Yeah," said Artie grabbing the rest of his goods as Dave slowly backed out of the Lima Bean while pushing Artie's wheel chair.
Dave climbed in his jeep a short while later and pulled out his phone, planning on calling Kurt and apologizing.. possibly bringing up the fact that at least Artie knew now. He went to start his car but suddenly an arm slid around the seat from behind, and a familiar voice whispered in his ear.
"I wouldn't fucking do that if I were you," the voice was doing a very bad menacing impression.
"Oh… why? What are you plans for me… should I be frightened?" asked Dave with a smirk.
"Beside yourself with fear," whispered Kurt, biting his ear, "Now get in the fucking back seat."
"Shit Kurt, you know what you swearing does to me," said Dave, not hesitating to climb in between the seats and back by Kurt, who abruptly yanked Dave against him, Dave blinked… Kurt must have gone directly here when he'd walked out of the coffee shop.
"Shut the fuck up and fuck my brains out already," growled Kurt.
"Don't have to ask me twice," said Dave.
"Whoa…" said Artie as he wheeled by the jeep and heard the conversation, he took another bite of his pie, "Kink central."
TBC
