The aftermath of prince Ali outing Papillon as a pedophile, and the start of other troubles. Plus some worldbuilding-the one thing I truly excel at as a writer-though a bit hidden. And… Well, I can't say I didn't have fun with the Akuma.
Chapter 04: Leprotta
As he woke up for the day, Gabriel acted as if he was to work on his design or the company as usual, or rather as expected. In truth, he had a different job to do: keep up his Papillon persona. While he was dimly aware that assaulting Paris to steal magical jewelry from what happened to be two teenagers (one of which he had even suspected was his own son) to use their magic to save his wife at the price of someone else' life was not a sane thing to do, he purposefully kept his supervillain character highly psychotic and petty, someone who'd attack anyone for slights and insults-a persona he had to keep more often than he liked due the Parisians not having changed much since they developed a martial art just to pick fights with street gangs the police couldn't control(1).
And so now he had to make it seem he had just found out Lila Rossi and her princely friend had outed him as a pedophile, and take his "revenge" by sending Akumas after them. Them and Rossi's classmate Marguerite Lanivien (or something like that) for good measure. He wondered how long it would take for them to "scare him off"…
"Remember, if there's trouble call us." Lila's father said. "We'll come to help-and I'd like a go at that worm." he continued, punching his right fist in the open left. "Assuming Hartmann doesn't arrive first-she's fast, and I've a few things to do today…"
"No problem." Lila replied. "Where's mother? She was supposed to have a day off."
"She left after a phone call. She said it was big, and you know how that goes…"
"Yes. I do."
With that Lila left for school, wondering what would ever get that woman to help emotionally-and what would Papillon send after them.
"OK, this is getting ridiculous." Vorpika said as she sat before a knocked out Rose Bride.
"And you've been around for what, a week?" Chat replied before noticing what the newest hero had said. "I take this isn't the first time, then."
"Third in four days."
"Too bad it wasn't in consecutive days, Papillon wouldn't Akumatize her for at least two weeks after that-his humor is weird like that. Oh, here she is. Hey, Buginet-" Ladybug nearly kicked the downed Akuma villain, and had to make a visible effort not to strike her. "What happened? Aside poor sleep because of what Papillon would do and Rose Bride."
"I've got a friend in Beijing right now, and she's not answering the phone." Ladybug replied as she purified Rose Bride and (reluctantly) called for a Lucky Charm to heal her from the head damage caused by her partners.
"Wait, what happened in Beijing?" Vorpika asked.
"You didn't hear?"
"Well, I nearly overslept, and…"
Vorpika pulled her flute and its computer function, and saw the news: a gigantic terrorist attack in Beijing, targeting the Forbidden City and the area around its Gate of Divine Might-that is, the place where her friend had been shooting and residing during the job. And in spite of the massive damage there were only four victims, two being the attackers and the other two unknown. No other details were available yet, only a rumor that one of the unidentified victims was Japanese.
"Ommerda… Gotta go, bye!"
As soon as she was hidden she used her dizi to try and call the Tiger multiple times (and barely remembering to make it appear it had come from her phone), to no avail, before surrendering and going to class. And somehow arriving later than Marinette, who was apparently nearly always late.
Lila hadn't paid much attention to the classes, partly wondering when Papillon's next attack would come and partly worried for her friend. At the lunch break, at least, she saw her friend had just updated her social accounts, explaining the People's Armed Police(2) had confiscated her phone and was interrogating her as the one witness, and had just given her back the phone. One less worry… And a classmate to keep safe.
"Rose, you need to come with me to the Italian embassy, at least for today." she stated.
"Uh… Why?"
"Because Lustro was the one who outed the Terror Bowtie, Papillon" she had to specify as apparently Rose hadn't heard the nickname yet "as a pedophile… And we would be targets for collateral revenge." That and the terrorist was likely offended he didn't get to groom her into a villain, but Lila decided her classmate didn't need to know that. "It won't keep you safe from Akuma attacks, but it'll gain you time-sending an Akuma too close to an embassy and the various ministries would be suicidally stupid, and that terrorist sadly is not an idiot."
"But-"
"ROSE LAVILLANT! I AM THE FLORIST! SHOW YOURSELF AND PAY FOR MISUSING A FLOWER'S NAME!"
"Do you see the necessity now?" Lila asked before dragging the target away and hiding her in the nearest bathroom.
"Didn't think an Akuma villain so scary-looking would have been so weak." Chat quipped after the Florist had been taken care of. "At least we've filled our weekly quota of ridiculous villains."
"LILA ROSSI! I AM INARISAMA! SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND REPENT FOR DEFILING FOXES WITH YOUR HAIRSTYLE! OH, AND YOU TOO, VORPIKA!"
Ladybug and Vorpika both shot dirty looks at Chat Noir.
"LIE-LA! HOW YOU DARE SAYING I'M FAT! I, STUNNER(3), WILL MAKE YOU PAY!"
"Honestly, if I wanted to insult someone I'd say something better." Lila quipped as she hid to transform and deal with the fourth Akuma of the day.
"MWA-HA-HA! GIVE ME YOUR MIND CONTROL PERFUME, LAVILLANT! ONLY I, THE JEANNIE, DESERVE TO MARRY PRINCE ALI!"
Rose took down that Akuma villain herself-turned out her perfume (that under Akumatization had indeed brainwashing abilities) was highly explosive in the right conditions, and the girl had taken offense at the villain's demand. And while her reaction made her the first person who could claim to have knocked out an Akumatized villain, Rose got banned from bringing any perfume at school. Lila convinced her it had been inevitable just in time to keep her from being Akumatized… And redirecting the Akuma on someone else.
"I'll get the power to enforce safety rules in exchange for two jewels that could interfere with safety in the lab? It's a win-win!" miss Mendeleiev said as she was about to be Akumatized-right before Ladybug broke her Akumatized labcoat.
"Sorry, but Papillon is having a pettiness fit-I'll restore it later, OK?" Ladybug said before leaving without letting the science teacher reply.
"HA! YOU'LL STOP INTERRUPTING MY LESSONS, PAPILLON! JUST WAIT WHEN I'LL FIN-"
Papillon retired his Akuma from the Educator, reverting her to miss Bustier(4).
"Let me get this straight-it's the second time you get this because people can't spell headcanon right?" Vorpika asked her colleagues, this being an Akuma villain with a cannon-as in a Napoleonic artillery piece-for a head, cannon that turned people's heads into cannons with writings such as "Ladybug and Chat Noir are dating", "Majesta designed her own costume but can't sew" and "Tokyo V is a nerdy male gamer in a drag" embossed on them(5).
Ladybug just nodded and destroyed the akumatized notebook. "I get Rose Bride, but why did Papillon bring this one back?"
"If only that other writer hadn't calmed down…" Papillon said to himself. "Well, I'll do Reverser another time. Now, who's next? Oh, this guy will do."
"LILA, MY BELOVED! IT IS I, THE HEALER! FEAR NOT, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO LOVE ME ONCE I'VE CURED YOU OF THE PERVERSE LUST FOR THAT TWINTAILED GIR-"
Papillon retired his Akuma, leaving a newly discovered homophobe at the mercy of the class.
"Nooroo, we're both getting showers, and you'll clean the Miraculous before we go in again." Gabriel ordered his Kwami. "How did I miss he was one of them?!"
"After you're done I suggest a repeat of the fun Akuma." Natalie said before putting down the Kwami food she had brought.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S THE TWELFTH TIME?!" Vorpika shouted in understandable indignation.
"Well, I really like pigeons, but the city won't let me take care of them and that makes me vulnerable to Akumatizations." Xavier Ramier replied. "And as horrible as it sounds, Papillon has a point-if I cannot, who'll take care of the pigeons?"
Vorpika seemed to have ideas, but bit her tongue rather than saying it out loud.
"The city, of course-yesterday Daddy managed to pass an ordnance to hire falconers to deal with the pigeon problem."
Chloe, however, had no such compulsions, as her shout from the class' window pointed out. Thankfully, Ladybug intercepted the Akuma and Vorpika managed to explain Ramier that if pigeons could eat batteries and survive then they didn't need much help.
"LILA! MY FOX! IT'S ME, DAE WOONG, AN-"
Vorpika landed on the newest Akuma villain.
"Surprised it took him so much to homage My Girlfriend Is a Nine-Tailed Fox(6)…" she commented as an increasingly irritated Ladybug arrived to purify this one too.
"I AM HOTCOCK007(7)! THE STAR TREK FAN CLUB WILL PAY FOR EXPELLING ME WHEN I ASKED WHERE THE LIGHTSABERS WERE!"
Ladybug used him to demonstrate she had a decent grasp of the one-two Vorpika had taught her.
"OUT! OUT OF MY HEAD! YOU AREN'T GETTING ME, OUT!"
The Akuma fled out of Marinette's earring, leaving her classmates in stunned awe.
"Marinette… Sposame." Lila said, the first to recover. Then she realized she had just proposed to Marinette and that word in Romanesco was close enough to standard Italian that she had likely understood it, and hit the desk with her forehead.
Papillon blinked, still surprised at what had just happened. A girl had just rejected an Akuma. He was already vaguely familiar with Adrien having a classmate that was defiantly optimistic, but that she would be able to reject an Akuma…
"Nathalie! I need to know everything available about Adrien's classmate, the one defiantly optimistic!" he shouted.
Half an hour later, Gabriel, who had detransformed for a while, realized two things: first, he needed to get her with Adrien, just by personality and willpower she was worthy of her son and could manage to get him off that annoying crush on Ladybug of his; second, the lessons were ending and he needed to get back at the Akumatizations now. Then he smiled-the school had just been reached by exactly the individual he needed.
"Can't believe some in the other classes blame you for Papillon…" Rose said to Lila as they walked the corridors.
"Got enough experience with people to know it's better ignore them." Lila replied. "You, on the other hand, have just as much experience with the butterfly, you know he won't end anytime soon unless he gets scared off or something else provokes him." Lila said to Rose as they were leaving the classroom. "And at the embassy you'll be relatively safe until I get the ball rolling on those fashion disasters that are his Akuma outfits."
"I doubt he'll fall for it again." Rose replied. "He hasn't been reacting to Le Parisien's Akuma Fashion Tips column for over a month now(8)."
Lila stopped in her tracks, wondering what was wrong with the Parisians. Sure, Romans like her weren't exactly saints or too sane, but continuing to piss off a supervillain was a bit too much…
"Typical." an adult feminine voice said.
Lila turned to the unexpected but familiar voice, and saw the one she expected: a tall and well-built woman with tanned skin and long platinum-blonde hair wearing a classic and stylish suit, her attitude and face expression giving an impression of calm professionalism… That was ruined by her hair being worn in long rabbit-like twin tails and her right hand holding an old Winchester Model 1897 shotgun (complete with M1917 bayonet).
"Good day, colonel Hartmann, I didn't expect you here." Lila said to the woman.
"Your father couldn't come and I had the time, so here I am." the newly identified colonel Hartmann said. "Also, didn't I tell you to call me-"
Hartmann was interrupted by the shouts of some students pointing at the sky, and, looking up, saw an Akuma that alternatively tried to get her and go away, a never before seen behavior from Papillon's tools. Then, much to everyone's shock, the woman caught the Akuma with her shotgun's bayonet, that immediately turned black as the gun itself.
"Bella lì, cravattone." the colonel greeted him in Italian, completely unfazed by the situation. "Sono la colonnella T-Akuma problem solved."
That had been said after the Akuma flew out of the shotgun, the white indicating Papillon himself had purified it-much to the shock of everyone there except Lila and the colonel.
"As I was saying, you should call me Leprotta when I'm off duty." colonel Hartmann said to the girl. "Now excuse me, but with the terrorist scared off I'd like to go back at the embassy and shoot a few shells."
"No problem, col-Leprotta, Leprotta, I need to remember that." Lila replied. "Thanks for your help."
The colonel got in a car and left before anyone could recover enough to ask what had just happened. Then Alya did that.
"Lila, WHAT?!" she asked the Italian girl.
"Her nickname means "little hare", she said she got it during cross-training with the Tuscania parachute regiment of the Carabinieri." Lila explained with a smile.
"THAT WOMAN TRIED TO GET HERSELF AKUMATIZED AND PAPILLON REFUSED!"
"Oh, that… You see, I'm not sure who noticed first and how did the news was diffused, but Papillon, not being suicidally stupid, won't Akumatize people with certain mind troubles, such as legitimate psychos, serial killers, and soldiers with PTSD even if they're pretty much Akuma magnets-so every ministry and every embassy in Paris has some personnel that qualifies, such as the colonel, to keep Papillon from sending Akumas there. Won't keep already Akumatized villains from attacking, but it's something. Oh, Rose… It's not necessary for you to come at the embassy anymore, but feel free to visit anytime. Everyone, bye."
With those words Lila left, leaving behind a very surprised student body.
"I suggest everyone goes home to get some rest like I'm about to do." Marinette said, trying to keep her calm after the stressful afternoon. Then, suddenly, she chuckled: "And imagine how Papillon is taking the scare for a good laugh."
"Took them long enough, don't you think Nooroo?" Gabriel said to his Kwami as he was going back to his studio.
"As you say, master." Nooroo replied neutrally, knowing his actual opinion wasn't requested. "What will you do with them now?"
"Nothing different than what I do with everyone else-Papillon has been "scared off", after all. Now you can go to your alcove, today's events inspired me for a contest."
"You should really enroll at the Omega, especially after today." the Tiger suggested Lila on the phone.
"Mother won't let me, not after Selah." Lila replied, dejected, as she walked through the embassy. She really missed that activity.
"Even if I could prove it's the place that calmed me down? With pictures?"
"Maybe she'll accept. I really need proper venting… By the way, how are you?"
"Worry not, I'm invincible!"
Lila was about to reply when she got an SMS from her mother telling her to hurry up, and decided it was better move. That, and send a message to Sorano, the Tiger's own best friend-they both knew that nearly unstoppable girl too well to not see through her attempt to make it seem she was OK, and the other girl was where she could drag her to a doctor. Then, as she received the expected pictures from her friend, she reached the apartment her family was currently living at in the embassy's guesthouse, and got a news she had feared.
"We're moving out." her father explained. "I've found an apartment not too distant from your school… Or an interesting place, the Omega Apacheria."
"We've already talked about that." her mother said with a note of finality.
"About that place… The Tiger said it's the place that calmed her down-for a given value of calming her down, of course, but before that she was a terror." Lila said, showing the pictures from her phone-and then waiting for the answer.
"Very well-we'll let you try. But if there's a repeat of that incident, we'll pull you out." her mother said.
It was the best Lila could expect given the circumstances-and a good news, at least, a chance at relaxing. The more relaxed she was, the better was the chance to get Papillon… And free the group for other jobs, she supposed. The news coming out of Beijing were reminding her that the world really needed a few miracles even out of Paris…
Notes
(1)Not making this up: between 1871 and 1914, the streets of Paris were infested by gangs of hooligans that were just too numerous for the police to fight… So the Parisians, who already liked fighting enough that French folk wrestling was also known as Lutte Parisienne, imported the original form of Savate (that had been already absorbing some techniques from French folk wrestling due the matches between Savateurs and wrestlers), added as much of wrestling as they could, a few things from English boxing, swordfighting (with sticks), and a few tricks of dirty fighting, and started engaging the gangs themselves. And now you know why Nora had it so easy to rally the Parisians to rescue the heroes now that the jerk who had been terrorizing the city for about a year was finally in the open…
(2)China's gendarmerie (as opposed to the fully civilian Public Security Bureaus), with authority in terrorism cases.
(3)Homage to a minor Spiderman villain. Both in and out of universe.
(4(Blame quicksilversquared and her story "Sleepy Supervillainry" (written before season 2) for this. I had to pay her homage… With permission, of course.
(5)Blame quicksilversquared for this one too-story is "Headcan(n)on".
(6)A Korean drama about a guy who, in the modern day, frees a nine-tailed fox from her century-long imprisonement only to have her impose herself as his girlfriend.
(7)A little homage to the novel Ready Player One. If you read it you'll see why I (and, in-story, Gabriel) named this Akuma villain after the character.
(8)Again with quicksilversquared-the story is "Fashion Disaster".
