"I... I don't even - " I started to say.
"It's fine. I know its a big step but I'm ready. I think we're all ready. Now, get inside before you're late." He grinned broadly.
I nodded shakily and fumbled before finally getting out of the confines of the car. I heard the bell ring over head, but I still walked at a slow pace.
I felt numb as I walked through the school hallways. I was too shocked to even cry. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment was talk to Matt. To be close to him. The feeling I got when I reminded myself that he wasn't in my first three classes was like a punch in the chest. I knew that once it sunk in I would be a mess and I needed him around when that happened, regardless of if we were in a fight or not.
That morning passed in a blur. The only thing that crossed my mind the whole morning was whether or not my mom would say yes. There's no way she'd say yes. He was a huge asshole. But, then again, my mom needed him. We both needed him. The right thing to do in her situation would be to marry him.
I knew I must've looked like crap by the way my teachers stared at me, concern clear on their faces. If they only knew my life was crumbling in front of me, if they only felt how I did, they'd understand.
I lagged behind after the bell at the end of third period because I was too consumed with the fact my life was virtually over to hear it. Once I realized everyone in the class was filing out for lunch I made my way out to find Matt before he left for choir.
I got to the cafeteria and glanced around the sea of students. Matt was no where to be found. I felt tears sting my eyes and panic rise in my chest. It would be just like him to ditch school on the one day I needed him most.
I willed myself not to cry as I made my way through the almost empty halls toward the auditorium. I saw people making their way into the room and edged closer, searching for his comforting face. And then there he was, standing against the wall, laughing with Jess.
"Matt," I called and he looked over. As soon as out eyes met I could tell he knew something was wrong. He turned to Jess and said something to her before making his way over quickly. I met him halfway and when we were inches apart I let it all out. I didn't care that we were in the middle of the hallway or that people were watching us, I just cried. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.
"It's okay, And. It's okay." He kept repeating in a whisper.
I was instantly comforted. A few more tears fell before I pulled away.
I wiped my eyes and looked up at him, "Thanks Matty."
He smiled, "It's no problem. Thats what best friends are for. Whats wrong?"
I hesitated as he glanced at the closing choir doors. "We can talk about it after," I said, nodding toward the door.
"No, it's fine. You're more important."
"Matt, we can talk about it later. Get in there."
He hesitated, "You sure?"
"Positive. It can wait."
He smiled, "Sure. See you in a few." He gave me a quick hug before ducking inside.
I took a seat on the floor against the wall, wiping my eyes. I felt a little better in the few seconds I was with Matt, but now that he was gone I had nothing else to think about. I folded my arms over my knees and buried my face in them. I wished that I hadn't told Matt to go inside. I needed someone to talk to. Suddenly, I heard the auditorium doors open, but I didn't look up.
"Are you okay?" I heard a vaguely familiar voice say after a couple seconds of silence.
When I looked up I felt my face immediately grow warm. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine."
Josh Ramsay looked at me for a couple of seconds before sitting down next to me. "No offence, but you really don't look okay."
I just stared at him, unable to believe he, of all people, was sitting beside me.
"Look, I know you might not be into the whole 'talking-to-strangers' thing, but I figured you'd want to talk to someone. You're boyfriend went inside and I -"
"Whoa, boyfriend?" I finally choked out.
"Well, yeah. Matt. Aren't you two..." He trailed off raising his eyebrows.
"No, no, no, no. Me and Matt aren't dating. He's my best friend, pretty much my brother."
"Ah, I see." He looked almost relieved, "Thats good to hear."
I was about to comment when he spoke suddenly, "Your names Andy right?"
I nodded, speechless that he knew my name.
"I'm Josh. So now we're not strangers. Can you tell me whats wrong?"
I bit my lip, "Its nothing big. My moms boyfriend is going to propose today."
He nodded, "And thats upsetting?"
"Very. Charlie's the last person I want my mom to marry. She can do so much better."
"Why's that?"
He looked genuinly interested and I needed to talk to someone before I exploded so I took a deep breath and continued, "He's just a terrible person. He treats me and my mom like shit. He gets angry for the smallest reasons and he's never home. I'm pretty sure he has OCD so he explodes when things aren't perfect. And he doesn't care about anyone else but himself, he's extremly selfish. Me and my mom are happiest when he's gone." I concluded finally.
"So I guess you won't have to worry about her saying yes."
"Thats just the thing, though. I know she'll say yes."
He looked confused, "But if he's as bad as you just described, why would she even consider saying yes?"
"Because she knows we both need him. Without him we'd literally have nothing."
"I don't believe that. You're both capable of anything you want."
I shook my head and looked down, "Its not... that simple."
he opened his mouth to say something but the auditorium door opened and a group of people came out.
"Looks like the bell rang and we didn't even notice." Josh smiled.
"Looks like it." His smile immediately washed all my worries away.
He stood, dusted off his jeans and held his hand out to me, "I don't think you want to get trampled."
I took his hand, which was warm and smooth, and he helped me up.
"Hey guys," Matt said, seeming to come out of no where. He shot me a smirk.
"Hey Matt," Josh smiled, slipping his hands into his pockets.
"What are you guys doing out here?" Matt asked with eyebrows raised.
"Actually, I was just about to invite Andy, here, to that party I was telling you about." Josh said, placing his hand on my shoulder breifly.
My face was warm when I looked at him, "Really?"
"Of course. I already invited Matt and I figured you need a night away from the house."
Matt turned to me, "Why would you need to get away from your house."
"I'll leave you two kiddies along. Andy, let me know if you're going tomorrow." Josh said before waving and walking away.
As soon as he was gone Matt turned to me, "I'm confused."
"Whens the party?" I asked at the same time.
Matt shook his head, "First tell me whats wrong."
My smile faded and he noticed, "Come on, Andy. Tell me. I care."
I sighed, "Charlie's asking my mom to marry him."
Matt was speechless, "Oh... shit. And, that sucks."
I shrugged, trying to appear non-chalant, "Yeah. But there's nothing I can do. His minds set. So, where's the party?"
Matt narrowed his eyes at my subject change, "Tomorrow. At Becky's."
"Great. Well, better let Josh know we're going."
The warning bell rang and we made our way to health class.
"We can't go, And. We have our marathon. Besides, there's going to be drinking. Not really your thing."
I stopped him outside of the class, "Matt, I need this weekend. We can reshedule our marathon and go to the party together. Please?"
He hesitated, "Fine. Whatever. I don't know how you always win."
"Probably because I'm so cute." I smiled.
He scrutnized my face, "Nah, definitely not."
I laughed and hit his arm.
"Mr. Webb, Miss. Thomas, have a seat." Mr Hawthorn said.
Before we entered the class Matt whispered, "Call me tonight and tell me what you're mom says."
I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and nodded.
Authors Note:
Hello hello! I just wanted to say that I'm incredibly sorry for not posting in like two months! I've been super busy with college week and work and life. Plus, my laptop completely crashed so I had to re-write everything I had. It was the worst. But I did it and I hope to be posting more frequently. :)
ALSO, thanks so much for the reviews and favorites. It kind of means a lot that people are reading my writing and actually liking it. Like, no joke. You guys are so hardcore. I love it.
Thirdly; I know when Josh was in highschool he had his blondish hair and probably didn't have a tongue ring... but try to imagine Josh and Matt as they are now. And I'm going to try and incorporate their family memebers as much as possible. In other words; I'm insanely excited about this story.
You guys are basically the best. Thanks for reading!
- Em.
