Hello readers! So much time has passed, I know. But if it makes you feel better I've been drawing the OCs a lot, and I mean A LOT. I really like them! :D
Anyways, I forgot to say in the last chapter that South Park does not belong to me. Anyways, that and I don't own the OCs either except for Val.
And just for the good of saying it, I do not do drugs.
...
Chapter two: Charlotte in Shitballsland.
"Made any friends?"
"Uh...no"
"Oh, don't worry sweetie. You'll meet someone nice"
"I hope"
...
Charlotte had had that conversation four days ago, and she still barely talked in school. Not that there wasn't kids there that seemed nice, but she was too nervous to talk to anybody, due to the events two days ago.
"Hello, I'm Butters" a blonde boy with a baby face approached her, he was the first one to do so,
"Hi" she smiled a little but didn't look at him directly. He seemed to be about to say something else when a fat boy with a red jacket passed by.
"Don't get so close to her, Butters! That weird eye shit she has is contagious!" he faked a worried tone, Charlotte could notice, but Butters couldn't.
"Oh no! It is?" he exclaimed buying it easily, then he ran away to wash himself in the bathroom.
...
Charlotte got really embarassed then, and was afraid that if she approached someone they'd treat her like that too. She already hated that fat boy, he had already made fun of her at least two or three times, and not only her, she had seen him make fun of others, many many many tines.
"Alright children," a woman entered the classroom. She had all her reddish brown hair tied in a bun and was wearing professional clothes "I'm miss Smith, and I'm gonna be your new teacher until Mr. Garrison gets out of jail" the kids didn't pay much attention.
"Weird...Smith, but she isn't black" Val said.
Meanwhile in Cafe Monet...
"So, Satan, why did you invite me here?" Jesus asked the devil who was looking around nervous.
"I-I wanted to tell you something. You know, I've been thinking about the power we have about Earth and well, this place has been kinda boring for a while, don't you think?" he said while playing with his fingers.
"Well, yes, maybe, but lots of non-boring stuff happens here in South Park"
"I know! I just wanna make one little thing here, I don't have a couple right now, so I've been bored. Maybe you-?"
"We are not gonna be a couple, Satan"
"Was worth the try..." the demon sighed "Anyways, just wanted to tell you that I'm turning this city upside down, so-"
"Wait wait wait! My father doesn't agree with this. If you make a craziness out of this city, at least create a way out" he stopped to drink from his cup of coffee.
"Argh, fine. I'll make a fucking way out"
"Do not curse"
"Don't tell me what to do!" he stormed out the Cafe, opened a dark portal in the streets, a flying demon got out from it, and he entered, the portal disappeared.
"Oh my God, they killed Kenny!"
"You bastards!"
Maybe he should have gone for that demon...
...nah
Later in hell...
"Hum, I have no idea what I should do...hey you! Yeah you, Hitler, right?"
"Blah blah blah blah" (N/A: Imagine German please xP).
"...sure...hey, any ideas of what we could do to South Park?"
"Blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaah!"
"There's not much Jews in there"
"Owww, blah blah..." he thought for a moment and then he jumped "Blah blah blah blah blahlaaaa!"
"That's...brilliant! Girly, creepy and childish but brilliant! I'll do it right away! And I know just the person for being the hero so the curse never breaks!" he smirked and Hitler clapped happily.
The next day...
Charlotte woke up suddenly. She felt...weird, as if something wasn't in it's place. She tried to ignore it as she put her normal clothes on and walked downstairs, they should be having breakfast by then, but when she reached the kitchen, no one was there. There was no sound either. She went to her parents' room but found nothing, then to her sister's, but also nothing. She started to panic. Where could they be? Maybe they were kidnapped! Maybe they were tied up right now and being watched by a camera or some really strong guy! Maybe her little sister was being raped right now!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" when she realized it, she was already running in circles. She sat in the floor and hugged her legs against her chest, then she started to breath deeply to calm herself. First, she had to see if they weren't outside or something.
She walked out and looked around to see the same houses she had been seeing for a week everytime she looked out from her bedroom window. But there was no people walking around, weird.
She walked to school, usually one of her parents took her in the car, but since she hadn't seen them...
All her way to school was quiet, she didn't see anyone. At all. Once she reached the building, she tried to open the door to notice it was closed, she sighed. What the hell was happening? If this continued she would start running in circles and not only screaming but also crying.
"Achu!" the blonde turned around fast, there was a little girl coming out of the woods. She had short brown hair, grayish eyes, a huge clock in her arms and...were those bunny ears? The brunette barely gazed at Charlotte before running off mumbling something about being late. Charlotte wasn't going to follow her, there could be problems, but then again: Charlotte always told herself that she had to be more curious, the little girl could have answers. So, for once, she didn't do what she would usually do and ran after the little girl, or how people knew her, Karen McCormick.
After a while of running, Karen stopped running and checked her big clock. Charlotte looked up to see a big chart that said 'Oprah Country', she raised an eyebrow, she had never seen that place before. However, she followed Karen inside, ignoring her worried conscience.
There was several ways to go: Oprah's inspiration, Oprah's heart, Oprah's kidneys, Oprah's feelings...Karen turned into a dark corner and, of course, Charlotte followed. The floor was dark brown, there was a big hole in the floor, and it seemed to have no end.
"Uh, excuse me?" Charlotte said softly, Karen barely looked at her "Where are you going? You shouldn't-"
"Sorry, I have to go!" the brunette interrupted and, before Charlotte could say anything else, Karen jumped inside. The blonde approached the hole and looked down, nothing could be seen, and she didn't want to jump inside too.
"You have entered to Oprah's asshole" a robotic voice said.
"The what?!" the girl exclaimed, the shock accidentally made her move her feet and fall right inside the hole, or rather, asshole.
The girl opened her eyes, she was falling and falling and falling, if she hadn't been so scared, she would probably be questioning why Oprah's asshole was so damn deep. Then she hit the floor of a room.
She stood up and looked around, the form was circular and it had no doors. There were curtains and a table in the middle of the room, she looked for Karen, who was looking worried. There was a bottle with yellow liquid in the table, Charlotte could notice, Karen grabbed it and drank some, then she grew small as a mouse along with her clock, Charlotte's jaw fell. The little girl walked towards the wall, where a certainly small curtain was, she opened it to reveal an also small door, she then simply opened it and passed trough it.
Charlotte didn't wanna act curious anymore, she wanted to get the hell outta there as quick as she could. She opened every curtain but they only revealed wall, every one of them. The only escape from the room was that little door, the girl sighed and took the small bottle, she drank some of the yellow liquid and coffed, disgusted. Her body started to get smaller and smaller, but her clothes didn't, she let go a little yelp because of that.
When she finally managed to get out of her normal clothes, she discovered she had a blue dress on, she sighed again, she wished the dress at least was black. She looked like a five-years-old.
Charlotte opened the little door and stepped in, only to notice it was just another hole.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" she screamed as she fell.
"You have entered now to Oprah's vagina"
"This is so groooooooooooooooooooss!"
The blonde hit the floor again, but this time it wasn't floor, it was grass. She looked up to see a yellow track, trees, bushes and a lake, there was also lots of big mushrooms.
"What the hell..." she whispered.
"Hi. Who are you?" it was a boy sitting on top of a mushroom. He had red fuzzy hair, green eyes and...was dressed as a caterpillar. He also had multiple books around him.
"Um, Charlotte" she said.
"I'm Kyle" he smiled and made some bubbles with his bubble pipe. His voice sounded familiar...oh yeah! She had heard him yell to the fat boy several times! He was from her class, but didn't he remember her?
"Uh, why're you a caterpillar?" the blonde asked.
"I was born like this, why? Have you never seen a gigant caterpillar before?" he smiled.
"Not really, no..." she answered. Kyle's eyes widened.
"so you came from another land?"
"I was home a few moments ago. Didn't you come here by Oprah's asshole too?"
"No. It's forbidden to get outta here"
"Who forbids it?"
"The red hearts queen" he said darkly.
"The...red hearts...queen" Charlotte repeated mumbling, this was getting too familiar to her. Alice in Wonderland much? She had heard the story as a kid and had seen the movie too, so if she defeated the queen she would probably return home, maybe it was all just a dream! The problem was...she had to speak to everyone.
"Well, I guess I'll go now..." she said before walking away.
"Hey! Look out!" Kyle's voice rang, suddenly a door fell right in front of Charlotte. She looked at him without knowing what to do "Take it. It's a short way"
"You know where I'm going?"
"I know everything"
"So you have...magic?" yes. Charlotte was being curious, what the hell? It was a dream anyways.
"No. I just study a lot" the blonde girl didn't answer, she just turned around sighing and opened the door to find darkness.
"Um, this isn't another of Oprah's holes, right?" she asked hopefully.
"Nah, it isn't" Kyle smiled, Charlotte nodded and threw herself inside "...That's Brad Pitt's"
When Charlotte opened her eyes again, she found herself in the woods. It was darker because of the tall trees. She started walking trying to gain confidence, and not really gaining it.
"Hey" a voice sounded, Charlotte looked around but found nothing.
"Hello?" she turned her head around to find a face right in front of her "Gaaaah!" she jumped away and the face smiled. It grew hair, chestnut brown hair. It was a boy.
"No reason to scream. I'm not gonna hurt ya" he said smiling, but the girl stepped back anyways.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Jason" suddenly the face disappeared and his whole body appeared on a tree "And you are...?"
"I'm Charlotte" she looked away and then to him again, he had purple and magenta clothes, cat ears and tail.
"Hum. I don't think I've ever seen you" he said. Charlotte shook her head slowly, not knowing what to say, Jason smiled at her anyways "Say, why're you alone in a dark forest?" he asked as he disappeared again, Charlotte looked around but didn't find him.
"I...don't know..." she said "I'm lost" she covered her mouth in regret, what kind of idiot tells a stranger that she's lost?!
He smiled, what was he smiling about so much?! He was gonna kidnap her, he was gonna kidnap her and then rape her and then throw her to the ground and leave her to die!
"Hey, you don't have to breath so heavily" Jason chuckled "I'm not a bad guy. Hum, maybe the Mad Hatter''ll know what to do with you" he disappeared again, Charlotte looked around "You coming?" he appeared some steps away from her, pointing to the road.
"Um, yeah" a hole appeared in the floor "Oh, not again!" she couldn't help but yell, the cat chuckled again.
"Those things appear every now and then, you don't have to jump in there" he explained as he disappeared again, the girl sighed in relief and kept walking as the constantly appearing and disappearing boy/cat/whatever guided her.
"Gah! Jason! H-hi!" Charlotte looked down, two boys with the same clothes were there. One was twitching and the other was trembling. They both had blonde hair.
"Hi Tweek, hi Thomas" the brunette greeted them friendly, they seemed pretty delicate.
"Wh-who's this girl-bitchy whore!" Charlotte frowned, what she gonna be bullied in her dreams too?!
"He has Tourette's syndrome" Jason whispered to her ear. Oh, the blonde had heard from that syndrome like two years ago, apparently a boy was gonna appear on Dateline NBC with Chris Hansen, but never did "Just act normal"
"I'm Charlotte" she extended her hand, Thomas shook it quickly with a small smile.
"Ass!" he yelled, then covered his mouth.
"D-do I ha-ave to sh-shake her hand t-too?" Tweek asked as he blushed "I-I can't! I-it's-! Gah! Too much pressure!"
"Uh, it's fine dude" Jason said.
"S-so, where-ere are y-ou go-going?"
"We were 'bout to see the Mad Hatter, do you know where she is?" the cat asked disappearing.
"Gah! Jason, do-don't do that! I-it's scary!" Tweek said pulling his own hair.
"Couldn't help it, it's funny" Jason replied, appearing on a tree "Anyway, do you know?"
"We k-know where she is, she moved just some minutes ago, fucker! Cock-sucker bitches!" Thomas said.
"You-you'll find her if you go this way!" they with said in unison, pointing to the darkest part of the forest "Assholes!"
"Okay, thanks!" Jason said while disappearing again.
"J-Jason! Gah!" Tweek screamed, the cat laughed.
"Say bye bye, Charlotte" he smiled, the blonde waved her hand.
"Bye" she gave them a little smile, they really seemed delicate.
While they walked, Charlotte noticed that the forest was getting darker and darker, the trees were larger so they covered more of the light, she knew it would be darker than where she was before, but it seemed like it was night! She started to get nervous, what if she shouldn't have trusted Jason? What if he was indeed dangerous? Huh?! What then?!
"We're here"
"Huh?" Charlotte snapped out of her thoughts to see where the cat had gotten her. The trees covered almost all the sunlight, luckily there were candles in a table in there, there were plates, tea cups, it pretty much looked like a tea party. Oh, she was there.
"Why is so dark in here?" Charlotte whispered, it looked like she didn't have to talk out loud.
"She doesn't like bright light" Jason answered.
"She?"
"Well, how do we have here?" there was a silhouette with a big black hat with a bandanna around it and a clover. It was a girl, Charlotte could notice when she raised her head. She had blonde hair as well, but it was lighter, her left eye was covered and her eye was blue "Well, if it isn't good ol' kitty Jason!" she smiled "And this girl I've never seen before!" she exclaimed "Or didn't I?" she asked suspiciously "Hey, you two, have you ever seen this girl?" she asked to the two figures in the table. They both turned to look at Charlotte. One of them was blonde and had ice blue eyes and rabbit ears, the other was was more...chubby, had brown hair, grayish blue eyes and mouse ears.
"Well, I've never seen her, I'm sure. I'd remember such a cute face" the blonde winked at her flirty, Charlotte's cheeks turned red, what the hell?! He just saw her and was already flirting with her?!
"I've never seen her either, who's she?" the other boy, or rather mouse said.
"Well, obviously, she is...wait, I don't know!" the obvious Mad Hatter laughed "Who is she, Jason?"
"She's Charlotte, she isn't from this land" he explained. The Mad Hatter jumped to the table, walked on it toward them, breaking some stuff in the process, and jumped in front of Charlotte to hold her hands with shiny eyes-er, eye.
"Really?! So you're the one?" she exclaimed cheerfully.
"Uuuhh..."
"Well, seems like you girls get along just fine. Guess I'll be going" Jason said lazily as he disappeared.
"H-hey, wait!" Charlotte exclaimed.
"Don't you want some tea?" The Mad Hatter asked out loud.
"I'm fine!" the cat's voice could be heard fading away.
"Tks, Tks. That pussycat" the girl in the hat said as she shook her head. Charlotte just looked at her, not sure of which way did she meant that. She could hear giggles at the back.
"Hihihi, she called him pussy" the blonde rabbit told the other boy, who looked a little confused.
"Yeah, for pussycat" he replied. Charlotte held a sigh.
"Well, Charlie"
"Please don't call me that"
"We already know your name but you don't know ours, I think it's time for a presentation here!" she seemed overly jolly, was she usually like that or it was added from the Mad part?
She took her hat off and bowed.
"You may know me as the Mad Hatter, but you may as well call me Bri" she smiled brightly.
"...okay?"
"This little pervert rabbit here, is Kenneth!" she said, putting and arm around the blonde.
"Just call me Kenny" he winked again. He was annoying her.
"Aaaaaaaand this baby here is Byron!" Bri passed her arm around the mouse's shoulder.
"Nice to meet you" he smiled.
"So, now that we know each other and are officially friends, c'mon. Sit wherever you want" Bri said pointing to the table. Hey, when did she get the idea that they were friends? "Sit by me"
"But you just said-"
"C'mon!" she took her wrist and placed her on the seat besides her. This time Charlotte didn't hold her sigh "Want some tea?"
"Uh, sure" Brightly took a big casserole and looked inside, she took three tea cups from it and placed them on the table. They had tea inside them already.
"Pick" Charlotte took a random cup, Bri took the other two and threw them to the sky "So, Charlie-"
"Don't-"
"-I've heard that you're not from here"
"Oh! I've heard that too!" Kenny exclaimed.
"Jason just told you" Charlotte said, but they didn't seem to listen to her when she spoke with logic. They must've really be insane. "Yeah, I'm not from...how was this place called?"
"Shitballsland!" the three of them answered in unison.
"...this place is called Shitballsland?"
"Yup!"
What. The. Fuck.
Oh, whatever. She needed to defeat the queen quickly so she could go home, away from these crazy people.
"Uhm. Why is so important that I'm from another land?" she asked the less impatient she could.
"I'm incredibly glad that you asked!" the Mad Hatter exclaimed.
"You see, there's a prophecy that says that a creature from another land will defeat the Red Hearts Queen and save all of us" Byron explained.
"By! I wanted to say it, dammit!" Bri faked anger, but seconds later started laughing. Insane.
Meanwhile...
"What the hell?! They were NOT supposed to know that!" Satan protested.
"There's always smuggling, those ignorants!" Michael Jackson exclaimed.
"Ugh, it must've been that Jesus! Why the fuck did I tell him?!"
"You wanted an excuse to visit that French cafe with someone" Napoleon Bonaparte said with his arms crossed.
"Oh, yeah"
Back to Shitballsland...
"And does it say how I'll defeat her?" she really hoped it was in golf and not against a dragon.
"Nope, it doesn't" the Mad Hatter replied smiling "But I'm sure you will!"
"Alright! Alright! What the fuck is this?!" a new voice yelled. They turned around to see Mr. Garrison, angry.
"Mr. Garrison? What's wrong?" Byron asked confused.
"I should be asking that! What's wrong?! What's wrong with you, assholes?!"
"Excuse me?" Bri said.
"Shut up! You damn fake! You're a goddamn fake, Bri!" he yelled.
"What?!"
"You're not tricking anyone, Blondie! Anyone! Everyone knows you're not the fucking Mad Hatter!" Charlotte, Kenny and Byron looked at Bri, what the fuck was going on?
"What are you talking about, Mr. Garrison? I'm not that insane not to know who I am" the blue eyed defended herself, Garrison, however, didn't back off.
"You're not supposed to be here! Mr. Hat is!" he yelled really really loud.
"Mr. Hat...?" Charlotte asked, no one answered her though. She got her answer by looking at Mr. Garrison's right hand, it was under the clothes of a puppet. Mr. Hat.
"Mr. Garrison, I'm the Mad Hatter, not Mr. Hat!" Bri tried to explain.
"Why?! Mr. Hat deserves it much more! He even has a similar name, Goddammit!"
"Damming, Garrison! He's not the Mad Hatter! I am! Stop bothering us and fuck off!" Bri yelled losing her patience. Mr. Garrison seemed to be in shock for a moment, then he recovered.
"That's it! I'm calling the authoritah!"
"The authoritah?" Charlotte got more and more confused. The other three weren't, they were worried.
"The authoritah is the queen!" Byron exclaimed.
"You better get outta here or you won't be able to stop her!" Bri said.
"Bu-but-! What?!"
"C'mon! I'll take you!" Kenny said taking Charlotte by the hips.
"Oh, not you ain't!" Bri took him by the shirt and pulled him away from Charlotte "We're gonna distract the queen's soldiers while Charlie runs away, we all!" she said, looking mainly at Kenny "Now, c'mon! Run Charlie, run!" the blonde in the blue dress started running while yelling.
"Stop calling me Charlie!"
Not much minutes passed when the soldiers of the queen came to the tea party, they may looked soft, but they weren't. They quickly arrested the three of the insane tea drinkers while Charlotte kept on running.
"Goddammit!"
To be continued...
Author's note:
WOW! What the fuck was that?! Yep, cracked Alice in Wonderland chapter, it will be a part two! More characters! More action...or something like that! More cracked and crazy stuff if this wasn't enough! (I personally think it wasn't)
*Sorry if Jesus, Satan and Hitler are kind of OOC, but I haven't watched much chapters with them and the ones I have watched I watched them loooooooooong ago. So yeah, maybe they're OOC.
*Bri Ciaphe is overly jolly and kinda crazy on propose 'cuz, she's the goddamn Mad Hatter, c'mon!
This chapter was also a tribute for Oprah's vagina, Mingle, and her anus, Gary. Their death was so sad, we'll miss you dudes!
