oh my god, I'm so sorry I took so long. It's been months, oh dear! Anyway, as an apology I give you dumb french boys, with most of what was promised!


R, please, do you know where he went at least?

Ferre, I've already told you. I don't know. You heard what he said. After that, he just... Disappeared. I get that you're worried about him. I am too, trust me. I don't think- not to offend you, but I don't think there's anyone more scared than I am right now.

Well we would've gotten a call at least if he was dead, right? I'm legally his brother.

We can only hope, I guess.

But- Grantaire, what exactly did he say to you?

He said- that he didn't deserve me. That I was... Too good. He felt like he couldn't... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Ferre, he's probably hurt or lost or worse and it's all my fault.

Please, no, no, no, no, no! I'm coming over okay? Okay please don't go anywhere!


Combeferre hung up quickly, shoving his phone into the pocket of his jeans. When Grantaire got like this, especially in front of (or in this case on the phone with) Combeferre, it was serious. He ran back into the classroom quickly to tell his teacher that he had to leave, that it was a family emergency. Technically. Enjorlas was his adoptive brother, after all.

He dashed out the door to his car, starting it as quickly as he could, the old piece of shit that it was. Driving out to the main road, everything felt too slow and too fast all at once. At one of many stoplights, he banged his head on the steering wheel, groaning. He loved Enj, he really did, but he could be a goddamn idiot sometimes.


Jehan opened his front door to a familiar face staring at him, all big brown eyes and chocolate curls that radiated joy like a visible aura. Courfeyrac smiled warmly, but Jehan could tell the boy was more worried than happy, Enjolras' sudden disappearance hitting them all like a punch to the gut. He hadn't been seen in 3 days, and they had all begun to worry more than they should. He hasn't answered any emails or texts or even phone calls, though sometimes any one of the Amis would call him on a whim. Nobody knew his address.

The poet opened the door wider as to let Courfeyrac in, and he followed him inside, uncharacteristically nervous. "Sorry for bothering you, I guess... I just worry."

"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have turned you away, if that's what you were expecting."

"Oh- oh no, of course not! I-I wouldn't expect that from you, I mean, you're nice and all, you're really pretty great, wait, sorry, I mean not pretty great more like really super gr-"

"Robin. It's okay to talk about Enjolras. We're all still worried."

At this, all his nerves seemed to melt, and he collapsed onto the younger boy's couch, groaning. He wanted to talk about it, but he didn't, but he did, this couch was soft, Jehan's walls were really green, and Courfeyrac was avoiding this. He had come here to talk, so what was he doing?

"I miss him, I know it's stupid, but I do."

"I get how you feel, Courf, I do." Said Jehan, taking the other half of the couch, his legs curled up so he wouldn't get tangled in a mess of skinny jeans and oh my god that bright red how did he wear that.

"It's okay to miss him. We don't know where he went, and that's not good, but at least we know he isn't hurt. Ferre would have known. And he talked to Grantaire before... He, well... Left." Jehan cringed. "I guess that's something."

Jehan stood up to make a pot of coffee for both of them. Courfeyrac always took his coffee light and sweet, but he knew that in a time like this, he needed it black, with hardly any sugar. He didn't know why, only that it helped, so he made it that way, loving to see Courfeyrac happy. He loved Courfeyrac, never hesitating to admit it. Denying it makes a cage around you, that makes you feel like you're overstepping a boundary, like you're feeling something outside what you're supposed to. But once you accept it... It's like freedom.

Jehan turned around to find Courfeyrac standing in the kitchen doorway, leaning on one side. He sighed, looking more tired than Jehan could ever remember him being. It make his chest ache, it made him feel hollow.

He handed Courf his coffee, and squeezed past him to walk back to the couch again.

Then he heard it. The faint whisper, choked, as if Courfeyrac had been crying, as if he had half-wanted Jehan to hear him and half-hoped he wouldn't.

"I love you, you know."

Jehan froze. He couldn't breathe. He wasn't sure if he had imagined it or not, so he stood in place, until Courfeyrac spoke again.

"I didn't expect anything. I just wanted to say it. I know..." He paused. Jehan stood still.

"I know it's a bad time, but I couldn't wait. I didn't want to tell you the wrong way, like some shitty attempt at poetry, like, 'roses are red, violets are purple, I'm in love with you, how about it?'"

Jehan turned around, still blushing madly. The other boy's eyes were cast down, staring at his coffee. "I-I love you too." He stammered, seeing Courfeyrac now blushing too.

He smiled with a mix of amusement and disbelief. "I'd love you even if you'd made a shitty atrempt at telling me." The smile that lit up the older boy's face was as bright as the sun.

"You're kidding. You're absolutely bullshitting me right now, is that what you're doing?" Both of them laughed, and took a step closer.

"No, you damn idiot. I'm allowed to be happy even if someone's missing. So shut your whore mouth and kiss me."


Combeferre sat again in the now-empty café, as he worried himself sick over Enjolras. He had come to find something, anything, but now he sat with his head in his hands as he replayed over and over what he had seen.

Enjolras leaving the café.

Grantaire's desperate look.

Enjolras holding him close, as if he was precious, fragile even.

Grantaire running after Enjolras as he walked away with no intention of looking back.

He had been to Grantaire to try and comfort him, but he was wracked with guilt. Every hour Ferre's anger grew, at Enjolras for being so thoroughly insensitive, and Grantaire for being so, well, Grantaire.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear Éponine walk softly into the back room, towards Grantaire's corner. "Combeferre," she beckoned, but he didn't come.

"Éponine, please. I really need to think."

"Combeferre. Look."

And that's when he saw it. An envelope, hidden in the corner, that had before just seemed like part of the dust and bottles that collected naturally there, but now he could see what was written- Grantaire's name, in writing that looked all too much like Enjolras'.

He jumped up and moved closer to inspect the letter. Of course! Grantaire hadn't been to the Musain once since Enjolras had gone! Nobody had seen it. It had been meant for him to see, that's why he had put it in the corner. But why would he put it somewhere so hidden?

Disregarding that question, he shoved the envelope into his pocket and ran off to find R. Stopping at the door, however, he turned back for a moment. He took Éponine by the shoulders and kissed her full on the lips.

"You're a bloody genius!" He half-shouted, running back out again.

He left Éponine behind feeling slightly dizzy and extremely conflicted.

Grantaire's cell phone rang once before he picked it up.

You'll never believe what I found.


okay! Hope you liked it, lovelies! I promise the next chapter will be up soon. Keep writing Amis!