Disclaimer: The world of Fairly Odd Parents belongs to Mr. Butch Hartman. Rightly so, I do not make any money off what I write, and I only take credit for the story line, not the main characters Cosmo or Wanda nor the creativity that thought up the idea of Fairy World. This story is purely for entertainment, I acknowledge the main idea behind this is not my own and when the time comes for this story to close, they will be returned to Mr. Hartman in good health.
"Blonda, would it be okay if I borrowed you hair clip?"
Usually Wanda didn't ask to borrow her sister's things but drastic times called for drastic measures, even if it meant interrupting Blonda as she studied the latest fashion magazine on her bed.
"Of course dear. You going out?"
"Um, yeah, sorta. Wandissimo taking me out to dinner" Wanda replied. She seemed displaced as she grabbing the pin anxiously from her sister's table and rushing back into the bathroom that connected their two separate bedrooms. Blonda looked up from an article on how to jinx your hair color and arched her eyebrows in surprise. Perhaps she had heard wrong? Blonda knew from experience that Wanda didn't mingle willingly with the other sex unless it was for purely academic means.
"'Out' as in on a date? With Wandissimo? My big sister, Wanda the Prudent?
"It's a date, not a wedding!"
"All the same, what made you change your mind?" She got up from the bed and entered the bathroom. It was a mess -cosmetics spilling over the counter as a wand slightly glowing beneath the mountains of towels and jewelry. Wanda herself was seated before the large mirror, trying to stick the pin in her nest of pink hair. Blonda watched her struggle for a while, amused that her sibling had yet to realize the accessory required skill to apply, not force.
"I thought you said you didn't like it when I introduced you to my male acquaintances."
"I said I didn't like your stupid blind dates."
"They are not stupid! They're adventurous and exciting."
"The last 'exciting' acquaintance of yours left me waiting on the side of the road while he puked in some alley on the outskirts of town. Excuse me if I don't find the much fun in that." Wanda reminded her sister with disdain. Yes, that had been a long night ending in having to call her date's father to pick him up and leaving her to walk home alone. Not that she didn't blame herself. It was one of the many dates Blonda had set Wanda up with over the years, all coming to a close with similar disastrous events. But she had hoped that the last one was different; she'd hoped they had all been different.
"Consider it more of a learning experience." Blonda replied, stepping into view to play with her hair in front of the mirror. Wanda was tempted sent her coral lipstick hurling at her sister as she angrily retorted.
"I can not believe you'd do that to me for the sake of a 'learning experience'."
"Wanda, you're on your way out of the house for the first time in months, let's not get into a duel to the death right now. Just tell me what made you say yes." Blonda was impatient to get to the point as Wanda glared at her sister's reflection. 'Learning experience'. She sighed bitterly. The quickest way to get rid of Blonda was to just tell her what she wanted to hear.
"Oh, I don't know, I just figured it was time for me to enjoy myself."
"It was Twinkle who pushed you over the edge wasn't it? I knew she wouldn't let me down, bless her." Her sister said nonchalantly. Wanda paused as she wiped the excess color off her lips.
"You mean YOU told her?"
"Of course, who else would know the right buttons to push? And Twinkle was more then willing to play along-"
"You put her up to it? Damn it Blonda, who else did you tell? I didn't want people to know he'd asked until I was ready!"
"And you were. Besides you wouldn't have agreed otherwise, you know I'm right." Wanda was at loss for words. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it abruptly, instead getting up from the chair in front of the mirror and leaving the room in a huff. Blonda quickly took the seat to try out the new jinxes she'd just learned when Wanda came back in to snatch her wand from underneath the mess on the counter. She opened her mouth again, but still couldn't find anything to say. She disappeared and was heard muttering under her breath, rummaging through her room to grab her coat. Finally able to decipher a few final words for her sister from her mental swearing, she stuck her head into the bathroom momentarily and pointed at Blonda's image in the mirror.
"This isn't over yet Capri. When I get back…you vile…ooh…" she left the room, shaking her head. She couldn't cancel the date now; she'd already talked herself into being excited. Wanda had actually been looking forward to it all week and there was no way her ego would let her chicken out now. It was best to just deal with the putrid dereliction of genetics known as her sister when she came back. Wanda made her way down the stairs, her sister calling from the bathroom.
"Oh, will you quit being such a stick in the mud you uptight-"Blonda heard the front door slam shut in mid sentence.
There was just no pleasing that twin of hers when it came to setting her up for a night of "extra-curricular activity". Wanda needed a hobby outside of school (especially one out of the house) and Blonda craved for a few days without Wanda wandering around like a poltergeist with a textbook in hand and laments of schoolwork. Blonda wasn't much for school; she got by perfectly well without studying and wasn't about to change her habits. Acting, after all, took a lot more time and effort then memorizing an endless list of deranged ancestors that brought about some war. She'd finally be able to practice without being hounded with "quiet down, I'm studying". Then there was the whole "Wanda's happiness" concept- she knew her sister would do just fine if Wanda wasn't such a cautious cynic. Blonda tossed her hair over her shoulders and dismissed the subject.
"That girl is a lost cause."
The fairy angled the mirror, and smiled at what she saw.
...
Cosmo was bored. His mother's imperious voice arguing with his teachers and the headmistress pounded against the door, the vibrations rattling the little chair he sat on as he waited just outside. He didn't like these meetings for several reasons.
One, he was always hungry for a snack but he wasn't allowed to eat in the hall. It was posted all over the school on the walls of the corridors-"No eating in the hall". A stupid school rule if you asked Cosmo but his mama was all about rules and she wouldn't allow him so much as a crumb of cheese.
Two, he didn't like the way his mama looked at him whenever she left these dumb parent teacher conferences. She always seemed angry and would bark at him to stand up straight, tuck in your shirt, have you been picking at your pimples again- you know your not suppose to and other stuff along those lines. A peeved Mama Cosma was something Cosmo tried his best to avoid, and here he was waiting for nothing less then that when she got out. What do they talk about in there anyway? Cosmo thought to himself as he stared at the door handle to his left. His mother never let him go in with her when she came to see the headmistress. "It's for grown ups, dear" she would say. Well I'm a grown up Cosmo pouted. I'm turning of age next year, after all. Why can't she let me in this once? I just wanna know what's going on. They're probably having a big picnic inside and they're eating pudding without me. I want pudding…Cosmo clicked his heels together to in an attempt to entertain himself.
That was the last reason why he didn't like the meetings. He was so miserably bored. His wand was always confiscated before they left him alone (the last time Cosmo was left with a wand unsupervised in the hall, his 3-headed hydra had demolished the trophy room). He stretched his feet in front of him and watched his laces dangle from the messy knot they clung from. He wanted to walk around and go exploring, the school being empty now for an hour or so, and would have if his mother hadn't specifically told him to stay by the door. Cosmo was bored but he knew better then to go against what his mother wanted. After all, mama does know best even if I never get to have any fun at the secret picnics going on inside. He sighed and rested his chin on his hand, eyeing the door.
Maybe…
Mama said he couldn't go in but she didn't say he couldn't hear in, right? Jumping up abruptly, Cosmo scrambled to the door and pressed his ear on the cold surface. Squinting an eye to see through the keyhole he focused on the voices within, trying to make out what they were saying.
"What do you mean he won't graduate?" Mama Cosma fumed inside. She was on the verge of loosing her short temper, her wand sizzling as smoke issued from the tips of the star. Cosmo's teachers eyed her fearfully, watching the wand's glow grow by the minute and hoping they could make it out the door before she blasted them out of existence. The headmistress, Madame Lucinda, was trying her best to keep her cool.
"It is clear to the Board that unless a fairy is capable of completing all the required courses, he or she is not allowed to graduate from this facility."
"My son is perfectly capable of passing every one of the classes you lowlifes offer here! How dare you insinuate otherwise! Do you even know who I am?" Mama Cosmo hovered threateningly over Madame Lucinda, her shadow casting a dangerous darkness over the room.
Madame Lucinda continued as best as she could. "Ye-yes ma'am I know fully well who you are, and the prestige your previous position held. However Cosmo has failed his last 12 classes, 5 of which are mandatory for coronation."
"Don't you fairies have a program of some sort to put him in so that this doesn't happen? Isn't that what our paid to do, Madame Lucinda?" Mama Cosma sneered.
"I'm afraid the Council as stopped these sessions as this is the last batch of students that will attend this school. They've shut down the whole division; there is nothing I can do." Madame Lucinda had met with Mama Cosma on similar occasions several times before and she had yet to see one that did not end badly.
"What about the teachers? Can't they improve their methods?" Mama Cosma rounded on the cowering educators sitting behind the headmistress and they quickly looked away, avoiding eye contact.
"They've tried everything they can- Cosmo simply has trouble learning as fast as the rest of the students, we can't hold the rest of his class back-"
"Then pull him forward!"
"Mama Cosma, please, we just can't-"
"'Can't'? How dare you say my little Cosmo can't! It's you that can't even do your job! He's been having difficulty learning from this good-for-nothing institution for over three years now and you have yet to put forth the effort to give him the attention he deserves. Have you even attempted to find my son a tutor?" Mama Cosma was livid and Madame Lucinda had to clear her throat before meekly responding.
"Yes, we have tried to locate one but they have all retired and moved on to different careers. We've even tried beseeching the Board to hire a government professional to do the job, but these things take time-"
"Time that you, Madame, do not have. My Cosmo will graduate with the rest of his year; else he gets shipped off to the Military Discipline Academy half way across the galaxy and I will not allow that to happen. You must find Cosmo a proper instructor from your band of so-called teachers, or a professional tutor by next year or so help me I will make it so that your reputation will be in tatters at best." Mama Cosma glared at each fairy in turn before finally locking on Lucinda.
"I-I will try once more to contact the Board- your son will graduate as expected, Mama Cosma. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, merely routine for all students who…well, I have few calls to make, if you'll excuse me-" she fumbled for her wand and "poof"ed Mama Cosma out before another word could be said.
Cosmo couldn't hear anything anymore as he pressed harder against the door. His mother materialized behind him, her hands on her hips when she saw what Cosmo was doing.
"Cosmo! Were you eavesdropping?" Cosmo jumped up and faced his mother with an innocent look on his face.
"I wasn't dropping any eaves mama, no, was just…"
"Good! It's a nasty habit and I don't want you learning to listen into other people's conversations, understand?
"Yes mama." Cosmo didn't know what she meant by eavesdropping, but he was glad she was distracted enough not to scold him further. She seemed a little sad through her anger but he knew better then to ask why. If it were important, she would tell him. Mama Cosma grabbed her son's hand and led him towards the front exit.
"Come on Cosmo, let's go home. You remember how to poof there, right?" she handed Cosmo his wand back and he tapped it against his forehead, trying to remember.
"It think so, I'm not-"
"And fix your laces! How many times have I told you it's dangerous for you not to tie them properly, you can fall and hurt yourself! And straighten you collar, you look like a hooligan…" They "poof"ed off home as they rounded the corner, Cosmo trying to concentrate on making it to his room without any mistakes this time while his mother berated him on the condition of his shirt wrinkles.
