Hello! I hope you are all enjoying my story and keep reading, I really appreciate it when others read my story.
Anyhow...hope you enjoy this next chapter as it deals with what happened last chapter. Sorry if you think it is slow paced, but I'm trying to be realistic here.
Read on and enjoy!
Falling into Place
Rose stood, rooted in place and watched in shocked disbelief, halfway wanting to pinch herself to ensure that this wasn't a nightmare. At her entrance, John shoved the woman away from him, his face a mask. Inconsequential details floated through Rose's mind despite how much she wished she wasn't really seeing this. The girl was wearing far too much make up, even to Rose's tastes. The perfume she wore was heavy and had a sharp scent that made Rose's eyes water. And, the worst thing, was that she didn't look that much younger than Rose. John finally showed emotion on his face, looking flustered and outraged as he turned to where Rose stood. She was sure her face pale and ashen, her face clearly showing all of the emotions she was feeling. John met her eyes for a long moment until he suddenly looked away, his face reddening. Grimacing, John wiped off his lips with the back of his hand as he cleared his throat and turned towards the other woman once more.
"Get out of here this instant," he hissed, his voice low and angry. "If you even try to do anything like this ever again I will personally have you expelled from this University," he paused, glancing up at Rose once more. "As it currently stands, you are no longer welcome to set foot in my classroom. Drop my class or receive an incomplete," John finished, glaring down at the girl, who Rose noticed was wearing a very short skirt.
"I don't really think you have the authority to say that, John," she retorted casually, having the audacity to turn and smile at Rose. She looked like she was about to laugh at Rose's expression, but turned back to John instead. "Do you?" she added on, raising an eyebrow as a challenge.
John seemed to be frozen, so Rose stepped forward, defending John even if he didn't deserve her help. "Listen here," Rose began, relieved that she had learned how to give someone a good talking to from her mother and the other girls on the Estate growing up. "I don't know what right you think you have for coming in here and propositioning yourself to my husband."
"I was just trying to help," she responded cheekily, acting innocent as she once again smiled at Rose. "I could report this you know. Talk about how my professor came onto me, no one is going to believe it is the other way around."
John finally spoke up again, keeping a safe distance away from both women. "You will not be allowed in my class anymore," John argued back, his face set as he narrowed his eyes. "If you think you can still take the exams and pass without coming to class be my guest, but I'm not going to stand around while you threaten me with lies."
The brunette set her jaw then, clearly thinking over all her options. "Fine," she finally huffed, brushing her hair back behind her ears. "I'll see if I can transfer to another professor, that'll be easier than having to report it and my parents would be upset," she reasoned aloud.
Rose let out a sigh of relief when the horrid girl agreed. She should after all, how was John expected to teach her after that happened? And it wouldn't be good for anyone if she reported it, they would have taken her word over John's. Now she just wished the girl would leave his office so she could finally confront John about what had actually happened. She didn't really believe that he would do anything like this, but how well did she really know John Smith anyway? At least with the Doctor she knew he was rubbish at lying directly to her, he had so many tells that she knew he was hiding something from across the room. She hadn't really noticed any with John and had assumed it was because he had nothing to hide, but it could also be that he was just a practiced liar.
"I really am sorry," John's student exclaimed, breaking Rose out of her thoughts. She apologized, but her voice was anything but sincere, it was more of a sarcastic apology. "But it just seemed like John could use a..." she broke off, mouthing the word so that only Rose could know what she meant. Rose immediately stiffened, her hatred for the girl increasing exponentially. "A word of advice," she added, glancing back at John's aghast expression. "If you don't want your husband to cheat on you, you should probably have sex with him occasionally," she laughed then, looking between Rose and John who were both too shocked at her brazen words to say anything. "Just look at the poor bloke, he needs a good shag," she finally finished, glancing at John with false pity in her eyes.
"Get the hell out of my office," John exclaimed, the anger practically radiating off of him as he spoke in a strangely calm voice. "You have no right to talk to my wife that way."
The horrific student huffed in annoyance, spun away from John with a sharp glare, and finally marched towards the door. Apparently she had done all she had come for. As she passed Rose by, she hissed something at her, so low John was sure not to hear. "Mrs. Smith…you haven't seen the last of me," she finished, meeting Rose's eyes for a long moment before she left the office and slammed the door behind her.
The moment the girl vacated the room John was right next to her, apologizing profusely and looking properly terrified. His hand hesitantly rested on the small of her back as he led her across the room away from the door. Rose was too surprised by what the slut had just said to her to resist as John led her to sit down in his desk chair. Avoiding looking at his face, she bit her lip as John knelt down in front of her so their faces were the same height.
His voice breaking the tense silence of the room, John spoke up after several moments. "Rose, please let me explain," he said, his voice thick and full of emotion as he cautiously met her gaze. "It really isn't what it looks like," he winced at his terribly cliche line.
"Who is she?" Rose asked, hating how much like a little girl her voice sounded like right now. But she couldn't help but feel insecure right now, especially after what she had said. Rose knew it wasn't true, John, or any decent guy, wouldn't cheat on her just because she wasn't sleeping with them. But the insecure part of Rose's mind whispered that as the truth.
John groaned, rubbing his forehead in frustration. "She doesn't matter, okay?" he responded, finally answering when Rose just glared at him. "Fine then, her name is Elizabeth Baxter. She is one of my students and she doesn't mean anything to me. She just came to my office and practically attacked me."
"Has this ever happened before?" Rose breathed, jerking away from him as John rested his hand on her thigh. "You owe me an explanation, John," she added when John didn't respond immediately.
He leaned closer to her then. "Of course not, Rose," he argued back as his voice shook with emotion. "I would never want to be with anyone other than you, that's why I married you," he paused then, apparently trying to think of what else to say. "Rose, I swear I have never lied to you. Don't you believe me?"
"I don't want to be here," Rose mumbled, trying not to cry as a large wave of jealously hit her full force. At least she had never had to see the Doctor kiss anyone else right in front of her. And to think she had come to his office, finally deciding that she wanted to be married to John Smith. She made to stand up, but John kept her in the chair, keeping a firm grasp on her shoulders. "John, don't touch me," Rose hissed, shock and jealousy finally giving way to anger as she pushed away from him. How dare he act like this? After all she had given up for him. After all the emotions she had been struggling with these past few weeks.
"Rose, she practically leaped on me just seconds before you walked in," John pleaded, remaining on his knees as he tried unsuccessfully to take her hands in his. "Absolutely nothing happened besides what you saw, I swear," John sputtered, panic filling his voice as Rose's face remained harsh.
"Even if she was the one that kissed you first, you must have done something to lead her on and make her think you would be shagging her in your office behind your wife's back!" Rose shouted, not caring if there was someone nearby who could hear her. Never had she felt such a claim over John until right now and she realized that he was hers. Her hazel eyes were already beginning to fill with tears as she stood up and took a step away from John.
John reluctantly stood up as well, still maintaining some distance from her. "I'm so sorry, love," he uttered, his brown eyes so wide and innocent she wanted to forgive him then and there. "If I did anything to make her think that I surely didn't intend to."
With barely a warning, Rose stepped forward and slapped him hard against his cheek like she had wanted to since she walked into the room. She almost immediately regretted her rash decision when she saw the hurt look in his eyes. Sure, she was mad at him for this, but a part of her mind told her that she didn't have a right to be. After all she had been pushing him away since she met him, not wanting to be his wife. "Do you want me to leave?" Rose whispered, finally letting out her insecurities. The Doctor had told her to look after John, but if her being his wife wasn't what he wanted, she didn't want to torture him. Perhaps all the adoring looks and love he had shared with her weren't as sincere as she thought.
"You really didn't have to slap me. You're turning into your mother!" John shouted back, obviously not noticing Rose's pitiful question. "You have to know I would never ever even think about cheating on you. Especially with one of my students."
"Really? How would I be sure of that now?" Rose asked, anger filling her again. It seemed as if John wanted to fight. Well, if he wanted to she sure knew how to verbally spar.
Jaw tensing, John took a step closer to her, speaking low. "Jesus Christ, Rose," he hissed. "I had no idea that you thought so little of me."
"I feel like I don't even know you anymore!" Rose admitted honestly, putting a hand on her hip. "You're a stranger to me," Rose spat out, unable to contain the feelings that had been warring inside of her for weeks. She felt like such a fool, expecting John to be the Doctor when he never could be. "You're the one who left me and is making me live this life I never wanted," she admitted, speaking more to the Doctor than John right now. She felt so humiliated. She had come to surprise John and had finally begun to admit how drawn she was to the adorable human, but of course not. Fate had other plans for the two of them.
Rose hunched her shoulders forwards and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for John's reply that was sure to hurt her even more. When several moments passed in tense silence, she glanced up to see him staring at her, a storm of emotions flying across his face. His brown eyes were dark and hard as he glared down at her. She could see his nostrils flaring as he breathed heavily, keeping his temper in check so that he wouldn't provide her with even more reasons to be upset with him. His fists clenched and unclenched and his whole body seemed to tremble with the effort to hold himself in check and not explode in front of her. "You have a right to be mad at me, Rose," John answered, his voice low and dejected. "But don't you dare put everything on me."
"So it's my fault now?" Rose retorted, a gasp of manic laughter escaping her lips. "I have emotions, so it is okay for you to find someone to mess around with."
His voice in a harsh whisper, John addressed her again. "How can you say you don't know me anymore?" he stopped suddenly. "You are the one who has changed, Rose. You act like you're scared of me sometimes. Sometimes I catch you looking at me like you have no idea who I am," his voice almost broke. "I thought you were happy with me, that you loved me," he finished, sounding more sad than angry right now. "You barely even let me touch you anymore," he added as Rose pulled her hand away from his once more.
Shocked by the bluntness, but obvious truth to John's words, Rose took a few moments before responding. "I'm sorry, I'm not perfect," Rose admitted. "Leave me for someone else if you're so unhappy with me."
For several moments all Rose could hear was the pounding of blood in her ears and John's labored breathing before he suddenly moved. With a fluid motion he had her pressed against his office wall, his lips merely centimeters from hers. "Do you want me to prove to you that you are the only woman for me?" he threatened in a gravely voice, his eyes dark and narrowed.
Rose took a deep breath, entirely confident that John would follow through with his threat. She stayed motionless, waiting for the anger to make its way out of his body so that she could slip away from his tight grasp on her. Narrowing her eyes, she breathed through her nose as John's grip tightened around her hips, sure to leave bruises. After a minute he loosened his grip, sighing as all the tension left his body and he leaned his head forward to rest his forehead against hers. Relieved he had calmed down, Rose wound her arms around his waist, letting him embrace her. John pressed a kiss against her forehead then, his jaw tight and his eyes still shut.
She let her body sag against his then in defeat, not having the energy to fight anymore, she just didn't want to. Of course nothing had happened with that skanky Elizabeth. But they both needed that as an excuse to yell at each other, Rose knew. There had been an unspoken tension between them for the past weeks that simply needed to break.
Looking up at John, Rose could tell by the expression on his face that he felt terrible for yelling at her like that, even if what he said was true. "Shhh," Rose hushed when John opened his mouth to say something, pressing a comforting hand against his cheek. He shouldn't have to apologize, she was the one who had forgotten that he needed her. Forgotten that he was real beyond a human with the Doctor's face and a made up backstory.
"I love you," John said instead, punctuation each statement with a light kiss to her lips. "You are my wife," he stated. "You are my best friend," he continued. "And I would never do anything to sabotage what we have."
"I know," Rose answered honestly, letting him kiss her for a long moment before she reluctantly pulled away. "Come on, let's go home and forget about this terrible day."
…
Instead of going straight home, Rose had insisted that they stop for a large quantity of chips. Ever since she saw the Earth explode on her first trip with the Doctor, it had been a tradition of theirs to go get chips whenever they had a particularly trying adventure. So, Rose decided, she would share the same tradition with John, she owed him that much. By the time they reached their flat, the chips still piping hot sitting in her lap, both of them were emotionally exhausted. Despite it all, Rose was still hopeful about their relationship, snuggled up against him in the taxi on the way back home. She loved the way her head felt when she rested it against his shoulder and the way their hands seemed to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.
Once they'd gotten back home and the tension began to build again, Rose gnawed on her lip as she tried to think of a solution that didn't involve shagging. This wasn't what she wanted her first time with John to be, just a physical way to get their frustrations out. She knew they needed to get everything out in the open, but they both remained evasive while she put the bag of chips by the couch, prepared to watch a film.
Rose had just settled in and was slowly eating a chip when John came into the room, a sheepish expression on his face as he hold a bottle of wine and glasses. "Thought it made sense," he explained, settling down next to her as he sat the wine on the table. "We both could use some stress reliever tonight."
"Ta," Rose muttered, leaning forwards and pouring herself a heavy-handed glass of the dark wine. As she did, John mirrored her, then went and put in some film he had mentioned offhandedly wanting to see on the telly. Without another word, he sat down, further away than he normally would, and grabbed a handful of chips, apparently content not to talk to her.
After several agonizingly awkward minutes sipping the wine, pretending a normalcy existed that neither of them felt, the tension between the couple was almost palpable in the air. Still, they were both too stubborn to say anything about it for a long while, both hoping that the situation would somehow magically resolve itself on its own. Rose sighed when she realized that that simply was not going to happen between them. In this way John was much too like the Doctor, not wanting to bring up the issue first.
"Want to play a drinking game?" Rose asked, saying the first thing that came to her mind. "We each have to say something we normally wouldn't each time we take a drink."
"That isn't really how drinking games work, love," John retorted with a joking tone to his voice. Well, at least he didn't seem to hold anything that had happened before against her. "But I know I would enjoy draining this bottle and I have another one waiting in the kitchen," John paused for a moment, obviously weighing his words carefully. "Let's get smashed."
Rose sat stiffly on the couch, wondering how the Doctor would have handled the situation. She knew he couldn't get drunk, superior Time Lord biology and all, but was curious if he would share his secret thoughts if it was a game. Surely he would have come up with some sort of an excuse about it that would both goad at her and make her love him even more. He for sure would have been smirking the entire time, she thought to herself. It was times like this that Rose was thankful John was so human. Although she did secretly love the fact that John also always wore a nice suit and tie. They more than flattered his lanky frame. She supposed his fashion sense was left over from some leftover traces from the Time Lord himself.
Deciding to just go for it, Rose spoke up. "I don't like it when we go to post restaurants and have to dress fancy," Rose admitted, taking a sip of her wine and swallowing it slowly. "It feels like you are buying me and just showing off with your money."
"I like spoiling you," John retorted, looking at the telly as if he was actually paying attention to the stupid film. "And we will have to go to fancy benefits for my work and stuff, so it is unavoidable. Plus, you knew how I was when we met," he finished with a sniff.
Rose swirled her wine around her glass, surprised this was going so well. Instead of holding this bottled up inside until it exploded into a fight, they were simply talking about it like grown ups. "I'll accept that," Rose responded. "As long as, if I tell you I'm uncomfortable, we leave or don't go," she paused, relieved it was apparently reasonable as John agreed.
John took a large gulp of wine, downing almost half the glass at once. "My turn," he began, turning to face her. "You snore when you sleep."
Smirking, Rose threw a chip at John. "Oi, you can sleep on the couch," she retorted with a grin. "I can't help that, so there is no sense in you complaining about me when I'm asleep," she teased as she scooted a few inches closer to him. "And you're one to talk, always talking nonsense in your sleep."
John tensed up, eyeing her warily for a few moments. While he was silent Rose took another large sip of her wine, mentally counting John talking in his sleep as one of her confessions. Sitting here, staring at John's furrowed brow through her glass, it was easy to feel comfortable with him, as if they really had been married for almost a year.
"I wish you didn't work," John admitted suddenly, taking a slow drink. "Why won't you just let me just provide for you?"
"I only work part time," Rose defended. She wanted to work, enjoyed it. Plus, what would she do with all her free time? It isn't like she could call up any of her old friends. "And I want to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile."
"Sorry, we've already argued about this enough," he said, smiling sheepishly. "But when we have kids maybe we can make another pro con list about it, yeah?" John asked, not noticing how Rose's face had gone pale at his last comment.
Not even wanting to think about John mentioning kids, Rose took a long gulp of wine. She blurted out something random. "You spend too much time styling your hair in the morning."
Well into their second bottle of wine, Rose had her feet draped over John's legs giggling as he fed her cold chips, the film menu having been stuck at the start for over an hour. She was already well into her tipsy phase and John was as well, much more of a lightweight than she had expected. It was a strange experience to see, as the Doctor hadn't even been affected by Jack's hyper vodka. He was even more hyper and affectionate when he was drinking and she thought the whole effect was adorable. They had really abandoned her 'drinking game' more than an hour ago, preferring to flirt and tease with one another.
"I do not only eat chips," Rose playfully argued against John's latest comment about her. To elaborate her point she kept her mouth firmly closed, refusing to eat the chip John was offering her.
"I think you taste like chips," John retorted, abandoning his ploy of force feeding her and leaning forwards to capture her lips with his. After a few moments, he pulled away and blatantly licked his lips. "Yep, I was right."
Smiling, John kissed her again more intentionally. Rose responded instinctively, humming appreciatively as John currently tasted of wine and chips, as well as a hint of mint. Snogging John didn't feel like an invasion of the Doctor's privacy anymore and for that she was thankful. Because, Rose decided as John shifted to deepen the kiss, he was rather talented with his tongue. Through the alcohol induced blur, Rose knew she should pull away when John started pushing her further back onto the couch so he could hover above her, but she didn't want to. Instead, she just bit back a groan as John turned his attention to her neck, hands unconsciously working on the buttons of his Oxford.
Finally through with her task of unbuttoning his shirt, John suddenly spoke. "You can't be comfortable, scoot down the couch a bit, will you?" he asked, his voice breathy. At that, Rose almost put a stop to what they were doing, surprised when John just shifted her over himself so that her hips weren't at an awkward angle any longer. To John maybe this was normal in his memories. But, to her, it was odd how comfortable he seemed about the whole situation. Such consideration and care for her comfort was something she had never experienced in her past relationships. It seemed as if John thought it was his job to please her, not the other way around.
So, when John made to pull off her top, she let him. Rose stared at him for a moment, running her hands over his surprisingly smooth chest. Practically holding her breath, Rose tried to keep her breathing study as John trailed his kisses down lower than her neck. It seemed that he was going to take his time with this, something Rose wasn't going to complain about. A few blissful minutes later, Rose yanked on John's hair, urging him to move his head up so that she could snog him properly. Soon after, when John's fingers began deftly unbuttoning her trousers, even her wine addled mind knew she was entering dangerous territory.
"I can't stand that music anymore," Rose murmured just loud enough for John to hear, trying unsuccessfully to untangle herself from him. The same peppy music from the menu screen had been repeating on a loop and it wasn't really loud enough to bother her, but it was a good excuse to get out of this situation. "I need to turn it off."
John groaned in annoyance, his longer arms reaching the remote before hers as he quickly shut off the telly. "That was grating," John agreed, his hands going right back to the task of lowering the zipper of her jeans.
"Stop it," Rose huffed out, relieved when John froze his motions. With little effort, Rose was able to squirm away from him and sat curled up on the opposite side of the couch, quickly pulling her shirt back on. Looking up, she was surprised to see John had soundlessly gotten up and was pacing across the room. "What are you doing?" she called after him.
"Is something wrong?" John asked, his jaw tight. "Because if you keep on getting spooked whenever I..." he trailed off, his teeth grinding against each other.
Rose bit her lip, not sure what to say to him. Technically nothing was wrong in the way he was asking her about, but there was a reason she didn't want to continue. "No," she lied, suddenly feeling very sober.
John tried again, the rawness in his voice giving her pause. "Really Rose you can tell me anything," he practically begged. "If something happened that makes you uncomfortable just tell me and I'll do everything in my power to make it better."
"John," she tried again, trying to ease his obvious worry that he had done something wrong. "You didn't hurt me and neither did anyone else."
"Then why can't I make love with my wife?" John questioned in a husky voice, moving to sit down next to her on the couch again.
"I'm scared of letting you in," Rose muttered in reply, being honest about how she felt mentally and physically. "I want to, trust me I do, just not right now after we fought today and have been drinking."
"Why?" John asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "You have to know I'd never hurt you," he paused for several moments, eyes flitting around the room. "I just don't understand why this is an issue suddenly, Rose. We are married and were having sex almost every day."
Not knowing what to do, Rose stared at the floor as hot tears pricked at her lids. "I just ruin everything," Rose choked out, feeling as if she was cheating on John whenever she thought of the Doctor. She hated how she had allowed herself to fall in love with John. She loved the Doctor first. The confusion that accompanied her heart was pulling her in two opposite directions. John actually loved her – and she had to admit that she was in love with him too. But she would always love the Doctor. What ever would he do in three months' time when he returned? "I don't deserve you," she finally admitted.
John scooted over next to her, putting a protective arm around her shoulders. "Why would you ever say that, Rose?" John crooned, clearly at a loss for words and confused by her sporadic behavior. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or us."
Rose, knowing there was no way she could ever tell John how she was really feeling, let the tears go as she buried her face against his neck. John rubbed soothing circles on her back, his touch calming and steadying her. This wonderful man deserved more than a wife who was so torn between his human alter ego and his true Time Lord self. She couldn't help but love him, all the while while feeling that she was being unfaithful.
So...what did you think? Poor Rose...and John...
At least they got everything sort of talked out...what do you think they should do next? Any comments? Let me know in a review!
Thanks and review,
Gabrielle
Spoiler for next chapter:
"Why don't we spend the day in..." Rose trailed off, not sure if she had courage to say the next word. Biting the bullet, Rose continued. "Bed," she finished as confidently as she could, shoveling in a forkful of eggs, feeling her face go red and John's eyes on her.
