It's been a while since I've written, but I have been busy learning my routine here. I've fallen into new habits now, but I won't record them since that would be terribly boring for me, and a waste of time for whoever might be reading this. I haven't seen Lily in a while, but since we are about to go on holiday, I am going to try and meet with her again in the library. She told me she is going home to stay with her family. I am going back to Spinner's End, which is where I live, but it isn't going to be any great achievement. The only good thing about it is that it is a very short walk from where Lily lives. I will likely spend time in my tree. I want to have the inside fitted with shelves on which to keep things.
I've made a few friends whom I will say goodbye to later. One of them is a boy who shares a chamber with me, Rosier. His first name is Evan. He likes to laugh and make other people laugh, and so far, his tricks have all been good fun. Though he told me one night that he'd like the try hexing one of the girls who particularly annoys him, but I think she might be one of Lily's friends so I told him not to. At least not until I am sure, because I know she's a Gryffindor. I made up one of my own hexes, and it works, but it is a secret. And it's not very useful. The other person that shares a room with me (there are only three of us, though there are four beds, which I think is funny) is Rodolphus. His last name is Lestrange and he gets made fun of by Bellatrix, who says his name is very le-strange.
I will write more as soon as I get back home, if I can. I intend to keep this book in my tree, so no one will find it. I am looking forward to seeing my mother, if she comes home. She works all the time, and when she is not working she often stays with her own family, my grandfather Prince, who is rich, but hates my mother for marrying my father. I think my mother hates herself for marrying my father sometimes too. Grandfather Prince only lets her stay there because the roof at Spinner's End leaks and the plaster is coming from the walls and there is not much furniture. When my mother and father are home it is bad. He is not often home either, but when he is he is almost always drunk. And if I am alone I go and hide, and if Mum is there she makes me stay with her, to protect her, she says. Which means that we both get a beating.
I'll be back at school for my birthday, though. I've stopped saving food almost entirely. Sometimes I can't help it, though, for instance, I saved an apple from dinner the other night and I still have it. I think I will give it to Lily as a goodbye present. The food here is very good, I suppose I should mention.
Hello, again. Lily came in (she got my note) and then we went into the library to talk, but now I'm back and Evan and Rodolphus are asleep so can write more. Lily is so pretty. I would never tell anyone that I think that, and I'm not even sure that I can tell her yet, without her thinking me strange, but I have never met anyone prettier, or nicer. If I were allowed it, I would kiss her I think, just on the cheek, but I don't know that I should. It might not be right.
But that's not the point of this, the point of this is that we met in the library, and it was dark. We climbed up to our shelf in the restricted section and looked out over the whole of the library, and then she said:
"I'm going to miss you, Severus."
And I said, "I'm going to miss you too."
"But we can still see each other a little, right?"
I shrugged. "If my father doesn't catch us."
"What will he do?"
"What he always does."
"What's that?"
I shrugged again. "Shout. Hit things. And shout some more. I learned the worst words I know from him. Well, all but one. The other one I learned from Lucius."
"Malfoy?" She shuddered. "I don't like him."
And then we talked about hair, because mine was wet since I'd just had a bath, which was nice, because I don't always get a bath at home, and I don't always get a bath here either, because everyone else goes first and when it's my turn the water's cold and there's no shampoo. My shirt was all wet, and I was shivering a little, so Lily gave me her robe. I hadn't brought mine, I was just in my pyjamas, which (secretly) are my oldest set of non-school clothes. They looked like pyjamas people always said so I thought it was an alright idea now that the pants are too short to wear properly.
"Do you think I should cut my hair, Lily?" I asked. "I once heard that all great wizards have long hair."
"You can do whatever you want," she told me. "I like it as it is."
"Have you ever cut your hair in your entire life?" I asked her, but I asked it nicely, because her hair goes all the way down to her waist, almost, and I would not be surprised if she hasn't ever had her hair cut, not even when she was a baby. But I was wrong.
"No, I've had it cut a little quite often. But I never have Mum cut very much off, so it stays long." She pushed her hair behind her shoulders as if she remembered it while she was talking about it - rather like when you tell someone you like their shoes, or what's wrong with your shoes, and they always look down as if they have to remember what shoes it is they're wearing before they can reply.
I opened my mouth and almost told her that I thought it was pretty, but then I didn't, because I felt too strange. I gave her the apple instead.
"Where did you get this?" she asked.
"Supper," I told her. "A few days ago. But it's not gone soft or anything."
She polished it on the front of her jumper and held it up so that the moonlight would shine on it. It looked nice that way, but then she took it down again and said she'd likely eat it on the train tomorrow and would I ride in the same carriage as her?
"We can try," I told her. Then we got down, and I told her to make sure to come and see me at my tree once we got back home, and that way we would still have a good Christmas. She laughed and said she would come every time she was free. I'm going to go to sleep now. Maybe my father won't be at the house when I get home. That would be nice.
