A/N: Sorry about the delay, folks, but my kids have been sick and my laptop bit it over the weekend. I haven't been getting as much attention to this story as I would like, so I will probably wrap it up in the next chapter and call it a day.

Tony was surprised to find the door to their bedroom unlocked, and still holding the pregnancy test, startled Ziva from her reverie. In his despair, he hadn't yet noticed the half-packed suitcase sitting on their bed nor did he any longer hear the loud, distorted music playing in the background.

"What the hell is this, Ziva?" Tony asked her quietly and held up the white stick.

Ziva just looked at Tony blankly and replied, "It is a pregnancy test, Tony."

Tony walked quickly to face Ziva on the side of the bed and dropped to his knees in front of her. "Yes, but is this baby mine?" His voice cracked on the last word and he braced himself for the confirmation that it was Gibbs' child she carried.

"There is, and has never been, anything between Gibbs and me, Tony."

Tony ran his hand through his hair as his mind spun out of control and fresh tears welled up in his eyes. "What is this all about, Zi? You must have taken this today. You practically attacked me when I got home tonight. And when I left the apartment, I found you and Gibbs…" Tony couldn't continue. The words, the thought, caught in his throat and forced him into a seated position on the floor in front of her. His sobs renewed as he bowed his head and he couldn't help wondering why the best news of his life was being celebrated in such a sick, twisted manner.

"Do not concern yourself. I am not having the baby; I have already decided."

Tony's head shot up and his eyes widened at her response. "What? Why?" He cried out.

"I have already explained it to you, Tony. You do not get to fix me." Ziva responded, still wearing an icy mask and tone.

"Didn't you just say that this baby was mine?" he whispered.

Ziva nodded her head in response.

"Then, shouldn't I be allowed to have a say in this?" he asked through clenched teeth. Tony realized that his heartbreak was rapidly turning to anger. Suddenly, he jumped up and began pacing around the bedroom. "Is that what you think this is? You think that I knocked you up purposely in some misguided effort to fix you?" he shouted and turned to face her again.

"No. But, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot be fixed. And that I have no right to bring an innocent child into this violent world." Ziva's eyes were beginning to betray the emotions swirling behind her stony face.

Tony froze where he was. And there it was. Tony suddenly realized that tonight's events had nothing to do with him or even with the baby. Ziva was just having another bad day. Where Gibbs fit into this picture, Tony couldn't yet say, but it honestly was the last thing on his mind after Ziva's revelation. Tony walked back over to where Ziva still sat on the side of the bed and once again dropped to his knees in front of her. He looked her in the eyes and wrapped his arms around her, trying to force her head into his neck. Ziva tensed and refused to nuzzle into him, so Tony began to speak softly instead.

"Zi, you can't keep doing this. You can't keep pushing me away when something sets you off. We've made so much progress since this summer, but we both know it wouldn't have happened without each other's support. We're going to be parents, now. We have to find a better way to deal with this."

"No, Tony, we are not going to be parents, now," Ziva argued. "I do not want this baby. It is not fair to our baby!"

"Our baby," Tony whispered in her ear. "Our baby is going to be just fine because I cannot think of another baby who is more wanted and who will be more loved. Zi, you thought you'd never be able to have children, that we would never be able to have children. Don't you see what a blessing this is? Yes, we are going to have some bumps in the road, but what parents don't?"

"No, Tony, we will not have simply bumps in the road. We are damaged, you and I! We do not deserve to be given this blessing!" Ziva was crying quietly now into Tony's shoulder.

"We are damged, Zi, I won't deny it to you. But, I'd like to think all that we've been through has brought us where we are today. And that is here, in this moment, in each other's arms preparing for our first child. We're gonna make mistakes, of course we are! But, who better to prepare a child to live in this world than us? You can teach it how to defend itself with super secret ninja moves! I can teach it how to joke its way out of any amount of trouble! When do we get to find out if it's a boy or a girl?" Tony was rambling at top speed, now.

Ziva laughed into Tony's shoulder, in spite of herself, and sniffled loudly. She sat up and looked at the man in front of her. He'd come so far in the five years she'd known and come to love him. The Tony she first met would have been out the door after her first panic attack. Would have crumpled and thought that her first outburst was actually his fault. Would have moved on to the next bimbo twenty times over, by now. And the Tony that she loved now not only never batted an eye at the discovery of his impending fatherhood, but rather was focusing all his energy on consoling and encouraging her. She suddenly felt like she'd taken as many steps backwards in maturity as he had taken forward. And then it hit her. Gibbs. "Oh my God, what have I done?" she thought to herself. "And Tony has barely even mentioned it."

"Tony, I…I want to talk to you about what you saw tonight," Ziva softly approached the subject. Tony suddenly tensed and brought his head up from Ziva's shoulder where he rested it as she thought. He withdrew his arms and stood stiffly. Ziva grimaced and stood up to follow his pacing around the room. She finally blocked his path and placed a hand on his chest to still his movements.

"Ziva, you've just given me the best gift tonight that anyone has ever given me. Please, can we not cheapen it with this discussion? Just for tonight. I can't. Please." Tony sounded so defeated, so suddenly void of mirth. He still had a difficult time being completely open and honest with her, as she did with him. They had kept their masks carefully in place for so long, that the habit died hard even as they pledged to move forward in their lives, together. The act of keeping the masks on during the day did little to help their efforts at home, but was a necessary evil to maintain the partnership that they cherished above all others.

"Yes, Tony, I suppose we should think about sleep sometime tonight," Ziva looked at the clock as she spoke. It was already 0300, and they had to be in the office by 0700 hours. Ziva knew that neither of them would sleep much tonight, but at least they would be lying awake together. Maybe they could do this, after all.