Chapter 4

Up until this point the whole "pregnancy" thing really hadn't kicked in. Well now I can say that it defiantly has kicked in, and now I'm freaking out. What the hell am I going to do! I don't have room for two new lives, or even time for them! I have things I want to do, and now I'm stuck being a house wife…just like Joe would want. Oh great Joe! What is he going to think? He will never talk to me again; I've ruined our future, well any chance of a future together. Oh, and don't even get me started on my mother! I can't do that to her… baring children with no husband, and she'll never forgive me if she realizes their not Joe's. She'll demand to know who the father is, and demand that I marry him. Oh god, the father…Ranger. He alone had me hyperventilating. What was I going to do with him? How would he handle this? Would he even accept it, or go into denial. (Wow that sounds like something I would do.) I would never want him to give up his lifestyle and what he does; it's who he is. Just like me, I don't want to give up who I am, I was born to fly, and now it felt like I had to clip my wings. Just when I thought my day couldn't get anymore straining the phone rang. I checked the caller ID, and saw it was my mother. I'll just let the machine get it. Beep; the answering machine ended as my mother's voice took over the apartment.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum…why haven't I herd from you? I am beginning to get worried. It doesn't take that long to drop a phone call saying your alive and well…or in your case at least alive." Which now I wish I wasn't I thought. "Well since your hiding from the outside world, maybe I'll just send someone in…." I heard muffling in the background. Grandma Mazur came into focus. "Oh Helen, you know I'll be happy to check on Steph, maybe I'll even shack up there for awhile, you know we were great roommates awhile back…" I yanked that phone off the charger faster then I eat a TastyKake.

"Oh, mom hey I just walked in the door." I said while trying to gain my control back.

"Did you have to carry up a lot of groceries or something, you sound out of breathe." No to the groceries, but yes to the out of breathe. My family has this exhausting effect on me.

"No mom, just doing some errands, you know typical day." Oh boy did I set that one up…here it comes.

"Stephanie, when was the last time you've gone grocery shopping, and when you do are you getting the right nutrients? And what kinds of errands are these, bounty hunting errands?…." She continued to ramble on, and I pulled the phone away from my ear. I've herd this lecture over and over before, no need to hear it again. I was just about to say my good-bye when I herd the word Pineapple Upside-down Cake.

"Wait, what?" I asked

"Stephanie Plum, do you listen to a word I say?" She nagged. Yes I thought… a word. Who needs to hear the whole spiel when I hear it continuously? "Anyway…what I'm trying to do is invite you to dinner" she said. Invite? Since when did she invite? Usually it's "you better come to dinner" followed by a "or no more desert". And let's just say that I would rather sacrifice my well-being for one night of edible pleasure. We hung up, and I jumped in the shower thinking of the wonderful pleasure of desert to come. I know pathetic that my happiness revolves around my intake of food.

I strolled out of the apartment building when I noticed a big black SUV…and a big black…hey hold up, that's Tank! I walked up to the car, while Tank rolled down the window.

"Tank… what are you doing here?" I asked a little irritated.

"The boss has my on full time Bombshell duty" Tank replied. I flashed him my best "ha-ha" smile.

"Aww, I'm sorry, you're stuck on stakeout duty" I cooed. Then it hit me. "…..wait a minute why?!"

"He seems to be having some problems" Tank replied. I had a feeling there was more he wasn't sharing.

"Assuming you can't say anything, can you at least tell me what kind of problem this is?" I asked. His face showed that he was pondering what, or how to tell me, so I probed on. "You don't need to give details, just you know…is it something that will cause him to hide out." I asked, hoping that broke the doubt he was holding.

"Look, he didn't give much detail, just that it could lead up into something serious if not taken care of now…and that you needed to be watched out for if he didn't take care of it soon enough. He said it wasn't anything to worry about though, he had people on it." I nodded to let him know I understood. Ever since the Scrog incident, he was very cautious when it came to these kinds of problems. I don't blame him either, I trust his judgments, and if he says I need a full time body-guard, I'm game.

"So where ya headed bomber" he asked.

"To the mother's for dinner." I replied with a sharp smile on my face. I thought I saw him flinch, but maybe it was just my eye twitching. We got into our cars and headed towards my mother's.


We got their just as my grandmother Mazur stomped out. Oh great, just what I want to deal with tonight. I hate playing peace maker. I walked up to the porch were my grandma was sitting.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"Oh your mother as usual. You think that a lady at my age would have some say in her life. She just doesn't know how to lighten up. It's always work work work for her." Grandma replied. I had a feeling I knew were this was going.

"Oh…well what wont she let you do?" I asked, already knowing the answer. See my grandma has this fetish for funerals. I know it sounds creepy, but it does have some logic to it. The free cookies, the dead body, the people…ok so it's all creepy, but what else is a lady at her age suppose to-do.

"Well she won't let me attend Mrs. Dawson's funeral unattended. I told her I was going with that hot new stud of mine, but she said that didn't count. And she knows very well that know one will take me…but say, how about you? Your free right, I mean no one is filling in the sack for you now that Joe's out of your picture." She said. You know it's sad when your grandma comments on your sex life, or more of your lack of sex life. So I agreed to take her if she allowed me to stop home first to change into something more proper. Grandma walked into the house, and I turned back to Tank.

"Hey, I know my grandma freaks you out and all, but why don't you join us for dinner." I asked.

"Ok first of all some grandma isn't going to scare me, and second of all…" He paused deep in thought. "Ok on second thought, ya she scares me" Tank said seeing it as a way out of dinner. Ok, fine then, I'll get him here I thought.

"Well you can have desert with us as well, heck even seconds on the desert part" I enticed. I saw his eyes drift off in desert land, something I was very familiar with.

"Ok, fine…but no word of this to anyone." Tank said, as he climbed out of the car. Ahhh, Desert…gets them every time.

We walked through the door to find my mom setting the table.

"Oh, I see you brought a guest. Let me set an extra plate." My mother said while placing another chair at the table. She then did a once over of me, and cringed.

"Stephanie, dear, are you gaining weight or something? I mean why are you wearing those grungy clothes?" Gee thanks mom, you look great as well.

"Umm, well you see I went for a" think Stephanie think! "A jog…and that's why I was out of breathe when I answered the phone." I exclaimed. God am I good or what? I looked over to see Tank give me a questioning look…hmm, I wonder if he caught my bluff. He probably has been watching me all day and was either angry he didn't see me go out, or was wondering why I was lying.

After dinner we headed back to my apartment. I quickly changed into something loose, but still ceremonial, and fixed my hair the best to my ability. We were then off to Mrs. Dawson's funeral. To be honest, I wasn't exactly sure who this lady was, I was pretty sure that grandma didn't know either, but just wanted to see the body. I looked at my rearview mirror and saw Tank tailing.

We reached the funeral home, and grandma leapt out of the car.

"Whelp, thanks for the ride Steph…you always were my favorite." Grandma shouted as she got out.

"Hey, wait a minute, I'm supposed to chaperone you!" I hollered back. But it was too late; she was already entering the funeral home.

I found a parking space, and Tank followed. We exited our cars and proceeded for the entrance. I got a good look around. A good size crowd was here which meant that she was well liked, or died in a very graphic way. I know, creepy. Who would want to see a gruesome corps…maybe I didn't because I saw them on a regular basis, and therefore didn't feel the need to invade funerals. Then I saw her. I swore my heart stopped, and I then froze in place. Tank must have seen my reaction, and looked to see were my shock was originating from. No women except for one could do this to me; her name: Grandma Bella. She was known to see the future, and sick the eye on you. Besides that, she was Joe's grandma, and Joe was her favorite.

"You!" Grandma Bella pointed at me. Oh shit! I tried to retreat, but she charged right at me.

"Hi their Grandma Bella" I replied in my most sincere smile as she approached me.

"Don't you HI me…you little cheap Hungarian whore who left my Joey. You should already be married to him. You could be having his babies, I could be a great grandmother by now" she spat.

"Well you have like three or four other grandchildren with children of their own, so why would…" I was cut off.

"Silence! You just don't know your place in this society do you? You are to cook, clean, and obey…that is what we women do. What's wrong with you? You to good for my Joey?" She interrogated. I was stunned to silence. I just didn't know what to say to her. Luckily Tank stepped in and sidetracked Grandma Bella.

"Madam, why don't we just leave the controversy for another time?" Tank said as he escorted Grandma Bella away. Grandma Bella fussed, but Tank continued on.

"Wait! Wait! I'm getting a vision." Grandma Bella announced. The room fell to silence in one big hush. "I see two little ones…dark like a mocha latte" she said while pointing towards me. I think I completely paled, and unconsciously grasped my lower abdomen. Every face was directed toward me. Move Steph do something I encouraged myself.

"Ok, so I like my coffee, so sue me." I replied. Few that was close I thought. I immediately rushed to find grandma Mazur. I located her just as she was about to open the lid on the casket, when I then gripped her wrist and pulled her toward the exit.


Well thank-you all for all your reviews. I'm still trying to decide what to do. I have two ideas for this story and their both looking really good…so hopefully I'll just decide and post one. Or maybe I'll post both!