Love Me, Love Me Not
Author's Note: Mmm I'm so proud of myself to have chapter 4 done –smiles tiredly and stares at the computer screen- its like midnight right now and I'm about to drop dead lolz. So please ignore anything weird hehe. Otherwise, read on!
Past
Stepping off the carriage quietly, Remus stood up proudly with his friends, just silently looking at their dear school together, trying to get up their nerves to go in and face their teachers, knowing that it's the last year it was all going to be like this, the last year for them to still feel like kids and it was quite hard facing the fact that after seven years of attending the same school, they all were going to leave at the beginning of this summer and never to come back again.
Sirius frowned quietly at the tension in the air, Sirius was never one to deal with sadness or any feelings like it very well, but this time he guessed he could allow it...to a certain degree though. He didn't need his friends to become depressed in their last and final year, the year he thought of as the best. They were suppose to be enjoying it and not just stand here and pick out all the gloomy moments...!
Quickly Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus's waist, proceeding to drag him away from the carriages and up the stairs, waving for the other two to come along. Remus blinked and pulled Sirius's arm from around his waist, "Stop that, Sirius...people are watching..." Frowning, Remus glanced away quietly, willing his heart to stop beating so fast from the small contact between the two while all Sirius could do was watch Remus with a mildly hurt expression before perking up a bit, smiling when he noticed a girl name Jeanne.
She was a year behind them and in 6th year, at least that's what he heard and he was a bit curious about her, she came up to him last year and asked for a date, but at that time Sirius was wrapped up over Remus but right now with all the negative reactions he was getting from Remus, he wasn't so sure any more...besides it was just an experiment, nothing more and nothing less. He just wanted to see if he was able to woo an unwilling person (AN: unwilling?!?! lolz) into his bed, but if he fails any longer, he might have to stop, right?
But some how in Sirius's heart, he knew all he was telling himself were lies, he wanted Remus as badly as ever...but could he ever admit that to himself? No, probably not...Sirius wasn't about to risk his reputation of being the sex god of the school just for someone who wasn't even willing to be with him. And this was all he could think about for the next few minutes, how he was going to give up on Remus if it didn't go well and instead go for Jeanne, besides he was too young to realize how in love he was anyways.
Sighing quietly to himself, Sirius ran his hand through his hair before glancing over at Jeanne again...she grew a bit and it might actually become interesting to try to get her instead of Remus, but for some reason Sirius couldn't get over the burning ache in his chest. He glanced over at Remus again, smiling softly at the pretty blonde before frowning at himself for it, silently Sirius berated himself for the action and opted to tell himself over and over again that he was straight and that it was all just a curious experiment...or was it?
Through out the whole time that Sirius's mental battle was waging on, James and Peter was able to catch up with Sirius and Remus. Silently, James watched his closest friend battle out his emotions and when he saw the trouble Sirius was having with them, James vowed to help his best friend figure it out if it was the last thing he could do.
But of course, Miss Evans came first, James grinned and glanced around for his long time girlfriend before spotting her copper red hair out of everyone else, he had a knack to find his beloved in these kinds of crowded situations.
Glancing up quietly, Remus noticed that James spotted Lily and had a hopeful look on his face before poking him in the side, "If you want to go so badly, just go. It's not like we're going to accuse you of leaving or something." Remus smiled gently and continued to walk with Sirius and Peter after James said his farewells and rushed over to his lover. –If only I found someone dedicated to me as much as James is to Lils...-
Walking into the Great Hall, Sirius was still able to catch Jeanne's eyes and smile charmingly at her while sitting down at his usual table, getting ready to watch the sorting of the first years. Jeanne smiled back coyly, bubbly excited from the attention she was receiving from Sirius.
Sirius continued to secretly flirt with Jeanne, using his body languages to show his appreciation for her. All the while this was all happening; Remus seemed to catch up on the fact that even though Sirius was there physically, his mind was completely wandering elsewhere. And that place turned out to be a 16 – year - old girl from their own house. Remus never really noticed her until now, but he recognized her instantly as the young brown eyed, brown hair girl with a curvy figure that came up to Sirius last year.
That one time when Sirius turned her down, Remus was actually pretty surprised...even proud of him, but now that his attention was back on her, Remus couldn't help but feel the sting of jealously burning a hole right through his happy mood. He silently looked away, the light fading from his eyes while he bit on his lip gently, trying to figure out why Sirius mood shifted so quickly. A moment ago he just had his arm around Remus's waist and now he's staring at another person, a girl for that fact too?
Remus gripped onto the edge of the table tightly, his feelings firing up from the inside, he quietly watched the two exchange flirtatious glances and stares. He felt sick to the stomach for actually believing he had a chance with Sirius, who was he kidding with? But even with the feeling of sickness fresh inside of him, Remus had a feeling that this won't be the last time that Sirius was going to hurt him...it was just the first...It almost made him feel like he was a toy to be used at will...this was what Sirius degraded his feelings to. Frowning and trying his hardest, Remus ignored all the thoughts running rampant in his mind, opting to shut them out until he had time to figure out the mess he called emotions.
Present Time
"Ex?!" Remus frowned, glancing around for his son, his face showing a bit of worry from the fact that he couldn't find him any where. "Xavier, where are you?!"
Blinking quickly, Xavier stood up quickly and silently, knowing that he inherited the skill of stealth from his father, he closed the journal and snapped the trunk shut and locked it up, grabbed the journal and opens the attic door, slipping out of the small opening he made for himself before walking down the stairs quickly.
Jogging to his room, Xavier opened his door and walked in, stuffing the journal under his pillow and glanced around before kicking off his show, throwing off his shirt and sliding into his blanket, ruffling his hair a bit before sitting up, pretending to just woke up.
"Yes father?" Xavier yawned and rubbed his eyes, watching his door open to reveal a relieved Remus.
"There you are..."
"I was here the whole time."
"I didn't realize that."
"Really? You're losing your touch, father." Xavier teased lightly, leaning against the headboard.
"Oh be quiet..." Remus smiled and walked fully into the room, staring at his son quietly, quietly amazed at how much he looked like Sirius. Shaking his head silently Remus sat on the edge of his son's bed. "You should get out more...you look so pale."
"Father...I've been pale since I was born," Xavier chuckled and stretched a bit, "It's in my genes."
"Well yeah...but still, you're awfully pale."
"You too."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"Not."
"Don't deny it, you know it's true."
Remus grinned and leaned over to ruffle Xavier hair, making his son pout a bit before standing up, "Fine...so what?"
Blinking, Xavier shrugged and tried in vain to straighten his hair again, "Um... I don't know?"
"Mmm...dinner is going to be a bit late today, I ran into a few problems." Remus smiled weakly at his son, walking towards the door and turns around to look at Xavier, glancing around at his room. "And for Merlin's sake, clean up your room."
"Yes, mother." Xavier grinned and waved at Remus, watching his father walk away, heading towards the kitchen, before sighing in relief and curling up under his blanket, his thoughts wondering off to what his father would be like if this Sirius person was still there. Chewing on his lips gently, Xavier silently promised to himself to find this person and show his father what happiness was like again. Xavier smiled cutely at his small promised and slowly began to fall into a sleep filled with the Marauders and their so called "adventures."
Author's Note: For some reason, most people tell me how they like Xavier and I was thinking if I actually finished this fic, I might make a sequel where Xavier actually meets his father...just wondering tho lolz, not actually thinking about it yet. But it would be an interesting fic to write about. Anyways, thanks for reading! R&R always hehe...one question tho, tell me if Xavier is okay this way or do you dislike him like this?? Oh, I also might not be able to update for a bit with High School and all so sorry –pouts- I need more reviews too –cries- I feel so lonely lmao.
