Disclaimer: if I owned vampire knight I would have added werewolves and other cringy crap in it and it would have never gotten popular.
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Y'all wanted Kaname's POV so here we are. tbh I actually like writing Kaname's POV more than Zero's. Is it easier? More fun? We may never know, all that matters now is that you bros asked and so you shall receive. Yo! I hope didn't butcher anything and in turn you enjoy it homie!
Wine red eyes stared blankly at the chess board in front of them. The pieces's carefully planned positions now virtually meaningless. Not completely worthless but their ultimate goal and purpose shattered and flung far from reach. This hadn't been something Kaname calculated, though perhaps something he should have. But there was no sense in dwelling over what he should have done different or what could have been if he did. It was too late, Yuki had a Mate bond with Aido.
Kaname could clearly remember the shock and disbelief he had felt when first being told about it by Takuma, and then later Yuki had come to give him the news herself. He was almost glad he had been informed beforehand, he wasn't sure he could bear seeing Yuki's face if she had seen his initial reaction, most especially the pain and disappointment that had filled it.
Aido had been the most surprising part of this new development. Never before had Kaname suspected that Hanabusa might now or ever have any romantic relationship with Yuki. Perhaps this is what they mean when they say "life doesn't always go as planned". Kaname closed his eyes and let out a long tired sigh, as if hoping the breath leaving his lungs would take the heavy feeling in his chest with it.
When he opened them again they were filled with resignation. He might have been less rational had it been someone else, someone being Kiryu (had it been Kiryu, Kaname would have protested with every fiber of his being), but it was pointless to fight what nature itself had apparently preordained. A Mate bond was something Kaname could not tangle with, even if he wished to. Did he pity himself? Yes, how could he not? It would untrue to say he didn't, and no matter who else he continuously lied to Kaname refused to lie to himself. Though he didn't pity himself in the same sense as some might think he did.
Perhaps Yuki deserved better than him, indeed she did, though Kaname could argue whether Aido was what could be considered better. However the Noble's hands were certainly cleaner than his ever were. At this Kaname chuckled humorlessly though his face darkened. He wouldn't be surprised if this was his karma, a divine punishment for every wrong he committed. Though he could admit that if it was retribution for his many sins, it was more lenient than he deserved.
The heaviness that weighed his limbs down paired with a strange hollowness he felt inward, left him fatigued and listless. He reached for the glass of wine beside his chess board and lifted to his lips for a long, slow sip. What he felt most was tired, not angry. Yes, deeply disappointed and heartbroken but mainly tired. These were the fruits of his labor? His head fell onto his hand as he chuckled. No, but he had certainly reaped what he had sown.
Kaname painstakingly placed the now empty glass onto the table and fell back heavily into his chair. His memories wandered to that earlier afternoon, when Aido had jumped to Yuki's aid in his place. He gave a melancholy smile, Yuki had looked happy. More relaxed than she has ever been around him.
His face fell. A good man would have wished only for her happiness and would have let go with a willing heart. But Kaname was not that man, and he resented himself for bitterly watching Yuki fly farther and farther from where he could still follow. A soft sigh fell from his lips and Kaname clutched his chest. It ached. Selfishly, he wished Yuki were there to lessen the pain. But she was not his and he was not her's, and she would despise him if now he showed her he still wanted to be.
That was something he could not bear, and though he would never have her, Kaname was determined to protect her. In the end he would ensure at least her safety. And then what? That he did not know.
With a grimace and unwanted flashback- set off by that small but weighty question- Kaname recalled the awkward, vulnerable position he had found himself in last night, in the very chair in which he sat now. That… that situation had been unexpected.
Frankly, it had been a long time (centuries actually) since he had experienced a Heat and he had been very unprepared for it. Luckily it had gone relatively unnoticed, despite being a somewhat frustrating thing for him to deal with. It had lasted throughout almost the whole night, and he found himself baffled by what it might intel. Did he have his own Mate as Yuki did? He was uncertain, as he had had a Heat not but a day ago and normally they only occurred when one found their Mate, as the hormones in their body were triggered by them and in turn they triggered pheromones.
But on the other hand, in this academy Kaname doubted he could have formed a Mate bond if it were not with Yuki. After all, it wasn't unheard of for someone to experience a Heat without having a Mate. Rare? Yes, and considered a defect. Almost a myth as well, but far more likely than Kaname finding his Mate in a school where there was not a person besides Yuki who he was remotely compatible with.
He couldn't believe he had let himself even entertain such a ridiculous notion for a moment. Kaname had experienced an incomplete Mate bond before but at the moment he felt nothing similar to what he had felt from a bond then. And really, genuinely, who could possibly be his Mate if they were here? Who, Kiryu? Kaname couldn't stop a chuckle. No, foolish was something he was not and there was no conceivable way he had a Mate.
He had accepted his lonely fate and he would act accordingly. Yuki's happiness was still his priority and he would ensure she was protected until all threats were dealt with. And then, he would let her fly freely without his lingering shadow.
Surely there was no dinner in the history of dinners that had been as awkward as this one was starting to be. Zero would have asked who's "genius" idea it was to have him, Kuran and Aido, in the same room for over an hour, in first place, but obviously there was no point, as Yuki had unsurprisingly been the one behind it and had also begged Zero to cook for it just to make sure nothing went wrong with the meal part of the dinner.
So perhaps, he was just as guilty for going along with it as she was for planning it. But then maybe a tiny bit of background was needed to paint this picture a little better. Earlier that day Yuki had told Zero she wanted to have something like that of a "family" dinner, with her, Zero, Cross, Aido of course, and for some heaven forsaken reason Kuran.
Zero had vehemently opposed it, partly for personal reasons, (cough* Kuran cough*) that he refused to disclose. But after much wearing down from Yuki and as well as many tears on her part, pleading that Cross would ruin the dinner with some experimental dish, finally it was enough to make him relent. Not without a healthy dose of complaining and voiced doubts though. Zero hadn't gone completely soft yet.
Yuki had nevertheless been overjoyed and convinced this was going to make her relationship with Aido more heartily accepted and embraced by the people most important to her. Zero thought she was being a little too optimistic, but he made dinner anyway, with Yuki hovering anxiously over his shoulder the whole time he prepared it.
The meal was taking place at the Headmaster's house so naturally Kaien was the first there. He himself was very supportive albeit surprised by Yuki's Mate bond with Aido, so she wasn't very worried about him.
No, it was Kaname and Zero Yuki was concerned about. They both had said they supported Aido as Yuki's Mate yet she couldn't help but notice the heavy tension that had filled the air in the last few weeks. But she was sure this dinner would to be the first step in new, more peaceful direction. The two would no doubt come around and realize how wonderful Aido really was. Because honestly, Kaname and Zero didn't seem to be particularly impressed by him, and this was the noble's chance to prove himself. At least, that was the conclusion Yuki came too.
The table had been set and "the guest of honor" Hanabusa Aido had arrived. Now it was just Kuran they were waiting on. Aido gave Zero a stiff greeting that he, politely as possible, returned. Apparently the blond had been making an effort to be civil recently, though Zero swore it was impossible to see unless you squinted. Nevertheless, he supposed it was a decent gesture.
Zero slumped down into a chair at the end of the table. He had been preparing himself mentally all afternoon, yet he still felt as though he had a dismal hold on his emotions. He honestly dreaded the whole night ahead of him, he didn't want to spend it playing nice with Aido and he certainly didn't want to spend it playing nice with Kuran. As far as Zero was concerned a respectful coexistence from a distance was all that was required in the type of relationship he had with those two.
He let out a soft sigh, and the situation he had with Kuran was just a mess he didn't want to dive into. Was merciful not a word in Life's dictionary? Must this dinner really take place? He was certain he couldn't endure a whole evening with Kuran and remain sane.
But suddenly, at this, he shifted. Now looking rather thoughtful instead of frustrated. 'Or could this confrontation actually be good for him?' It was true he needed to get a hold of himself if he wanted to successfully ignore the Mate bond… and this dinner could possibly be the start to that.
The sound of a door opening interrupted his thoughts and Yuki cheerfully welcoming Kuran could be clearly heard all the way into the dining room. Zero's gaze snapped back up and unwittingly he straightened. Nervously he licked his lips, but with conviction thought 'It will be fine. I can act like a normal Mateless being for a few damn hours.'
Everyone except Yuki and Kuran were already seated but as the missing two entered the room, Yuki made a straight beeline for the chair next to Aido. Kuran, still standing and left to find his own seat, unknowingly fulfilled Zero's worst fear by taking the chair directly across from him. Zero was barely able to hold back a groan.
Bitterly he picked at his food. Ignoring the conversation beside him (that was hardly important anyway if the cheerful chatter from Cross and reluctant answers from Aido were anything to go by) and even more so the pureblood in front of him. Of course Kuran would sit there. Why wouldn't he? Why did Zero even expect things to not immediately go wrong? He'd have to be delusional to anticipate anything but suffering at this point.
Biting back another sigh, discreetly he glanced at Kuran who was eating like he hadn't a care in the world. Well, Zero knew better. He looked down the table towards Yuki as she beamed happily though somewhat apologetically towards Aido, as if expressing her embarrassment at her adoptive father's chattering. Aido was putting up with Cross's invasive and embarrassing questions but clearly only for Yuki's sake. As it was her he was giving hesitant but obviously loving glances to.
It made Zero wish he hadn't looked, the scene in front of him now feeling too warm for someone as coldly bitter as he was to even look at. He wanted Yuki's happiness and he would give up his own for it, but must he be forced to watch what he would never even experience? Feeling the beginnings of wistfulness rising up in him, Zero quickly turned his head and found his gaze on Kuran once more, except this time Kuran was looking directly at him as well.
The dinner had been something Kaname was reluctantly attending only for Yuki's sake. If she wanted him he would come and though it was the last place he wanted to be, the smile when he accepted her invitation told him it would be worth it. So he had shown up and let Yuki brightly welcome him into the headmaster's small house. From the moment he laid his gaze on her, the heaviness in his chest lifted slightly as if the light in Yuki's eyes were chasing it away. And he wondered fondly that just her presence could cause such relief.
The aroma of food floated through the air and telling him everyone else had arrived already, Yuki led him into the room from which the smell drifted. As she said, Kiryu, Cross and Aido -someone Kaname would rather have not seen at the moment- were already seated and waiting. Disappointment rose in Kaname as Yuki left his side to join her Mate.
It was not surprising, however it did harshly remind him of how things were now, and how they would never return to the way they once had been. He reprimanded himself for forgetting so quickly and easily, he should not have let himself be so taken in at just her presence alone. But he would not let the same happen again, he couldn't afford to. Kaname took a chair opposite of the side of the table Yuki sat, and found himself facing Kiryu.
The hunter seemed disgruntled and rather unhappy by the other's presence but Kaname was not about to stand and switch seats for his convenience alone. So he busied himself with eating as a distraction from the unpleasant situation he found himself in, simultaneous trying to block out the conversation about the newly Mated individuals beside him and their relationship, and finish the meal as soon as possible so he could leave.
Once again he felt Kiryu's eyes on him but he did not acknowledge them, after all, what would be the point of meeting a glare? But they soon left and Kaname paid them no mind. After a moment Kaname however did look up and inevitably he saw Kiryu's gaze fixated on something or someone further down the table, made rather curious by the flickering emotions in his eyes Kaname glanced down as well and suddenly understood.
He was looking at Yuki, or more specifically Yuki and her Mate. It was an undeniably happy picture, full of Yuki's joy and Aido's (poorly concealed) affection for her. It was something Kaname had no place in nor had ever in anything of the like. He felt his expression and heart tightening so instead he looked back to Kiryu, and he saw, with a sudden realization, that Kiryu's face mirrored his own internal reaction. And he felt that in fact, Kiryu most likely was thinking something quite similar to what he had.
It somehow put a sense of comfort in Kaname and perhaps pity. For when Kiryu turned away from the cheerful scene and found himself looking at the other as well, Kaname, without thinking, offered him a look of understanding and almost sympathy before going back to his dinner. Just missing the look of confusion and horror that flashed over Zero's face in response.
All in all, Kaname did not regret the joining the dinner. And later he had even joined in the conversation between the other attendees, somehow having drawn the nerve from that moment of comradeship he felt. He still felt the old tiredness and regret but it had settled over him in a way like bearing an old burden. He could keep going. He always did.
Guess who's the poor fool that deleted the first draft of this on accident. Yep you right, it was me. I wanted to punch myself but I directed my energy towards rewriting stuff instead. Luckily it was just the first draft and easy to redo.
Thank you so much to those who reviewed!
LafineChase, LuanRina, Love332, Wolf'sVine (guest), Dardar1 (guest), Carstairs-SuJuEXO, NekoAyane, Zerovk,
I appreciate reviews and the time you take to write them so thank you very much homies! Remember, reviews make the writing world go round. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! Criticism is okay in my book as well
