Hello. I know that it has been quite some time since I've last updated, but I've taken the liberty of working on some other projects and working on updates for stories that I haven't done anything for, for quite some time now. However, this has not swerved me from my responsibilities, and I have been looking forward to writing more of this. Slowly I'm piecing everything together and building it up to the end.

I have taken some suggestions, and decided that this chapter will be all about Ikuto's past — the events of his childhood that have led to his infamous disease. I hope this will suit you all and make you happy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the original Shugo Chara! characters. I only own my own characters, as well as the use of the plot.

Lolita was originally written by Vladimir Nabokov. This is my adaptation/version of it.

Enjoy!


He couldn't say he'd remembered much of his childhood, given how he preferred to block that part of his life, as he focused on the future and was desperate to bury the past, seven feet (or more) beneath the ground and cover it in impenetrable concrete.

But every now and then, there was always something that made him think back to those times.

To the moments where he and Utau had to follow the rules of society set by their parents, and could never truly see the light at the end of the tunnel. (The tunnel had been so covered by rocks that not a sliver of the star's light could make it through, unless a piece of the rock wall that covered it, chipped away by some unknown force).

To a time where he lived mainly in solitude as he tried his best to meet his parents' standards — to a time where he cared about what his emotionless father and snooty mother thought of him and his life-choices.

And he supposed that it was because of that fact that he never had any true human contact with people of his own age (besides Utau, of course, but he never truly counted her as a human as much as he did as his little sister — yes, he, at that time, considered them to be two very different things) that made his first experience of being with another young child, such an important moment in his life.

It was a moment that led to the biggest struggle in his lifetime that, while he managed to suppress very easily, never went away. Because never will he forget that


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Lolita

Chapter 4: Origin

*By Chibi Star Vamp*


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It annoyed him.

It annoyed him to the point where he had, on several occasions, weighed the option of unlocking the car door, jumping out onto the street, and running back to his home where he would find solace in the solitude of being alone and watching his favored program.

His eyes glanced at the door, once again. Between it and him was his father — a tall, structured male who had maintained quite the physique in his years of living. His hair was long and flat as it hung on his head, a few inches above his shoulder blade; just barely touching it. It looked somewhat messy with the way the shiny blue hair just stayed there and yet covered him in such an attractive way. His face was matured and long, clearly having been sculpted well after hitting puberty years ago. Yet this fact was hard to pick-up on due to his youthful look.

His black lashes were long and dusted his cheeks as he blinked every now and then. His eyes remained half-lidded in a somewhat bored look. But he, being his son, knew that look quite well.

His father was thinking of music; of a way to compose notes into something so magical, that he was highly envious of the fact that he couldn't do that, nor shrink down and enter his father's head to hear just what it was that the man was skillfully composing in his invisible, soundless imagination.

The man was impeccably dressed in one of his regular suits. A white shirt, dark black jacket and matching slacks, along with shiny, black, imported loafers that, honestly, he had thought of scuffing and ruining, many times.

(Of course, these thoughts occurred when he wasn't thinking like a good little boy, and was in a rather defiant streak).

His father was older, taller, stronger, and could surely hold him back as he tried to make his escape. It meant that his thought at going through that door was a bust, but, turning his head, he began to think of his other source of escape. Turning his head to the left, he looked at the people who sat between him, and the other door.

The closest was his little sister, Utau, who had taken a seat beside him in the car. Their parents had seemingly trained her well and decided that she was too old for a car seat.

(Yes, he thought albeit sarcastically, four years of age really is too old, despite what the law says…)

She sat prettily with her blonde hair tied up into two pigtails, with a beautiful white ribbon holding it together. The locks had been brushed and curled to perfection, and shined nicely in the dim car lighting.

She had been dolled-up in a beautiful white summer dress with green lining, and a small green sweater. Her socks were white and frilly, and her shoes were shiny and white, along with a small heel. Her chubby face was rather emotionless as she sat in the seat, the belt tight as it stayed on her waist, and she probably thought of nothing more than, like him, escaping.

Despite only being four, they both sometimes had conversations of taking all their stuff and leaving. Leaving behind their father, mother, the world, and going to a place that they'd only read about in fairytales.

But they both knew that the odds of that happening were slim; their parents made sure to crush any hope of there being any somewhere over the rainbow, effectively.

Yet, her solemn face told him that she, too, was thinking, and her age also spoke to him: he could take her. And not in the way where he would push her aside as an attempt to make his great escape, but in the way where she wouldn't be heavy at all if he decided to take her away from this Hell hole… car, and make his way back to the house with her.

She, too, wasn't pleased with the trip and wanted to stay at the house, like he wished, and do something other than waiting for an impending boredom.

So she was no problem when it came to his master escape plan.

Who he truly had to be wary of, was the woman that sat on the other side of his sister, blocking the door, itself.

She was a beautiful woman. Tall, slim, but shapely, and with soft, lovely little features that gave her a naturally young look. Her skin was soft and light, and her eyes were the most beautiful shade of purple (a/n: I have no clue what color her eyes are; so I'm just giving her Utau's eye color. Does anyone know?) that he'd ever seen. They were momentarily hidden when her curled, black eyelashes touched her soft cheeks.

Her lips were plump yet slim, and a soft pink color. Her long blonde hair reached down to her back, and was currently pulled up into a ponytail that hung rather… professionally on her back. In her ears shone simple, pearl earrings — something of which he found odd.

His mother had always worn diamond earrings; shined, cut to perfection, and ever-so-dazzling, as they shone in the light while being held securely into their platinum setting by three, small tongs.

Yet, she was dressed much more simply today; not just jewelry-wise. The dress she wore was a soft blue color, with thick straps as it rested against her shoulders. The dress wasn't embellished in jewels or held some elaborate sewing design that he could only ponder on how long it had taken the person to create it, to sew it in since she refused to wear anything machine-created.

Her heels were white and regular straps that just went across her foot and not in some highly complicated pattern. The sweater she was wearing was a simple, black, long-sleeved sweater made of material perfect for the summer heat.

It was the most normal he's ever seen her dress.

But despite her appearance, he was certain that she could hold him back. His mother was many things, but physically weak was not one of them. The woman could pull him up by his collar to get him up to her level, as if he were one of her purses.

So no. He probably couldn't take on his mother, and he most definitely couldn't escape out of the front doors since there was a glass there that separated their family from the driver.

He didn't have the physical strength to break that; especially since it was safety glass and he was just seven.

No escape. There was no escape.

He was trapped in that metal monster until it came to a stop and he was allowed to leave. And that very much pissed him off; especially since he had an impeccable sense of time and he knew that the program that he desperately wanted to watch, was starting. Which sucked, because the beginning was always one of the best parts…

He tried not to frown, because he knew that his mother would be on his case in a matter of seconds, but it was hard not to when he could hear the cluster of musical instruments in his mind, and how the conductor melded them together in a way that pleased nearly all of his senses.

So his lips turned from their solemn, flat line, to where the edges were slightly tilted downward.

And like he expected, she caught-on in a millisecond.

"Ikuto, do not frown." She said to him in a clipped tone. "You cannot have them thinking that you do not wish to be there. That is rude and not something that a child of mine will do." He exhaled silently and made his face expressionless once more.

This pleased her, and she turned her attention from him, to his little sister who was tugging at her ponytails.

"Utau…" His sister immediately stopped; trying not to frown.

He wished that the car would stop. Not so he could run away, but just so that he wouldn't have to be in the same, closed space as these two people who controlled every little thing that he and his sister did. She should be allowed to play with her hair and he should be allowed to frown. It didn't matter. They were things that children naturally did — did they not see that?

Clearly, they did not, because his mother continued to nitpick them on the smallest of things — him licking his dry lips, his sister exhaling too loudly, and both of them trying to act humane and frown, instead of being robotic and without feelings — on their journey in the car.

Finally, they pulled into a neighborhood filled with big houses, and it wasn't long before they were parked in front of a large house that was decorated for the holiday season.

Funny… he'd almost forgotten that Christmas was a week away.

His mother went-on to stating rules that the two of them should follow while they visited these people. It wasn't because his mother thought highly of these people, it was just because she wanted to maintain a certain image of them and present it to all of society. A picture that she would go to the ends of the Earth to maintain, even if it meant replacing her entire family (he was sure of it).

They exited the vehicle, and he made sure to hold onto his little sister's hand as hard as he possibly could without hurting her. Not because he was afraid of her running and doing something idiotic, but because he didn't want her to get lost in his family's image, and remember that she wasn't the only one who was suffering. He was there for her, and he would stay there.

It was a small comfort, but a huge security.

"Hoshina-san is… mean." Utau whispered. And it broke his heart that she had to refer to their mother in such a formal way. But that was it. That was what their mother asked of them… that is, until they were in the eyes of the public.

"I know…" He said lowly. "But I promise it will get better…"

"When?" He gulped.

"I… do not know, but it will." He said. It was a promise that would take a lot of work, but he'd work until his sister had a better life. Not him, but her, just her.


The people they were visiting were his father's new business partners. He was unsure of just what the man did with his father, but he didn't necessarily care. He was just one of many that wanted an opportunity at becoming big in the music industry; his father was a highly-rated violinist, after all.

The man was tall, slim, and despite his big house, he seemed to live a modest life. The atmosphere of the two-story home was much calmer, more comforting, and natural than that at his house, and he enjoyed how there was life breathed into the place with the simple application of a few family photos here and there, instead of vases of flowers and artwork.

He had a wife that was certainly much nicer than his mother, because she greeted them with a smile and had such a high look of hope in her eyes that he, sadly, found it odd; he wasn't used to that shine or warmth that they radiated.

The woman wasn't dressed as extravagant as his mother, and he found that he liked that. She had a dog with her that greeted them happily. But even as he petted the large, brown and white animal that was surely the friendliest creature that he had ever seen, he knew that his mother disliked the fact that he and Utau were both petting it, rubbing its belly, and receiving kissed from it every now and then.

"Why don't you kids go out to have fun in the backyard with Inu?" She kindly suggested. "There's really no reason for you to stay inside, and the backyard has a lot more things to do."

"Can we?" Utau asked their mother, rubbing the dog's belly while she wagged her tail. Utau had the brightest smile on her face that he'd ever seen.

"I see no problem with it." Their mother said. But he knew that she didn't like the fact that they were going out in the world, where there was dirt and they could possibly get messy, and wouldn't be supervised by her because she would surely stay inside to entertain the kind woman. And he was glad. It was moments like these, where she was forced to let them act like normal children and do the things that kids did, that he enjoyed most. That was why he thanked the woman and then left the house with Utau and Inu, who pulled them towards a sand box that held several toys in them.

"Wow… they have a swing." Utau said as her eyes immediately landed on the swing that hung from a tree branch.

"Do you want me to push you on it?" He asked her.

Despite her eyes showing that she wanted nothing more but to play on the swing, his little sister shook her head — and then immediately to work on fixing her ponytails. "No. My dress might get dirty and then Hoshina-san—"

"Come on." He said, grasping her hand and leading her towards the swing.

"B-but… Onii-san—"

"She's not here." He said; purposely using contractions to show that their mother had no way of stopping them. (She thought that morphing words together was barbaric and shouldn't be done). "What is she gonna do? Pull you off? What would that woman think of her?" When they reached the swing, he didn't bother dusting it. He lifted Utau and set her on it.

"B-but—"

"Are you really gonna pass up your one chance to be a child?" He asked her. "To have fun like other little girls and play on swings and with dogs without caring what their mother thought because it was something they are supposed to do?" He asked.

He watched as she looked down at the paw that Inu had placed on her dress. The dog then moved it as it picked-up on something, and left a dirt smudge. Utau's instincts immediately feared what her mother would think, but then she thought that her older brother was right. Opportunities like this were one-in-a-million and who knew how long it would be before she got another chance to be a little girl?

"Onii-san, can you push me really high so that I can touch the sky?" She asked him. Ikuto smiled softly.

"I don't know if you'll reach the sky, but I'll try my best."


When Utau had grown a little bored of the swing, and wanted to play with Inu, Ikuto happily let her do as she pleased while she ran, jumped, and fell on the ground while she played with the pet. His heart swelled with happiness as she began to laugh while Inu licked her happily.

It was a rare moment when she laughed, which was sad, because her laugh was one of the most beautiful sounds that he'd ever heard. Her face was bright with happiness as she showed her teeth — one of which he knew was missing, but looked as if it was still there due to the flipper that his mother had gotten for her, like she had done for him.

He had half-a-mind to tear it off and show the world that his sister was missing a tooth — that she was a child.

But he didn't. Because it was something minor.

Instead, he sat by the side lines and watched with a happy atmosphere around him as Utau began to race Inu. It was as she passed the glass door back into the house, that he finally spotted a lone figure there. It was small, probably around his age, and had light pink hair that naturally faded into blonde when it reached past her shoulders. It was clutching onto the glass door and peeking rather shyly into the backyard.

He narrowed his eyes; who was that?

Amidst the happy sounds of Utau and Inu, he was able to pick-up the kind woman's voice as she showed-up behind the young person, and urged it to go into the backyard. The person was hesitant, but eventually showed themselves to him.

He was surprised to see a small girl; hair straight and blended soft pink to soft yellow as it went down to her tiny waist in loose strands. Her bangs were cut down to the middle of her forehead, and her eyes were a bright, gold color. She was wearing a simple, loose white dress and had white slippers on. There was a flush on her cheeks as she looked down and approached him; another dog, bigger than her and of a dark, black color, right behind her.

Utau noticed the girl, too, and went to her. He decided to do the same, and stood from the swing as he walked-over to the sweet-looking-girl; who was twiddling with her fingers and not making eye-contact. It somewhat bothered him that she wasn't looking at him, but he liked it at the same time.

It meant that she had the freedom to do as she pleased; she had what he currently didn't: a childhood.

"My name i—name's Tsukiyomi Utau." Utau said. He momentarily smiled at how she used a contraction to show just how happy she was to be out of their mother's gaze. "I'm four-years-old." She said.

"Hiya…" The little girl said rather tentatively. "My name's Aimi. I'm… uh… this many." She counted on her fingers to the number six, and then showed her hands to them. "Six."

Both he and Utau were a little surprised that this girl was unable to say her age without counting on her fingers. And he'd admit that it made him look down on her a bit. She was… less intelligent than he. And while he didn't want to judge her, he couldn't help but think that, because she didn't have the education that he had, she was therefore less worthy.

It was a sickening thing to do, but he was trained to do so.

"My name's Ikuto. Tsukiyomi Ikuto." He said, while reaching out with a hand. She looked at it and the back up at him, with a strange look in her gold eyes.

"Why… are you holding it out?"

"You shake it; it's a greeting." He stated. He couldn't believe that she was unaware of what a handshake was. He'd honestly never heard of a person not knowing how to shake someone's hand. She was… odd.

"I know that." She said; suddenly losing her timid attitude as she grew a bit bolder and frowned at him. "I just mean… why, though? We're not big — we don't shake hands." She said.

It was clear to him that the handshake would not occur, and he lowered his hand once again to rest at his side. The girl, Aimi, went back to twiddling with her fingers. He watched as she seemed to move them in a rather intricate way; as if she was trying to weave something out of the air. And watching them move, with her blunt fingernails that were clearly bitten-off, he wondered what was wrong with her.

"So… uh… what're you guys doing?" She asked.

"We were playing with your dog. She's really nice." Utau said. She hadn't picked-up on the things that Ikuto was seeing, and therefore had a rather positive view of this girl. She was also glad that there was another female with them. It'd been such a long time since she had a feminine companion close to her age, since she was usually always with adults and being perfect.

"Yeah. Inu is really fun, and smart; she brings me my toys and things when I need them. But Arata is fun to ride since he's a Great Dane and big and stuff. Wanna try?" She asked Utau.

There was a moment of hesitance in both of them as they glanced at the surely fully-grown dog that was bigger than Utau, and maybe even bigger than Ikuto. Even standing low on its four legs, did it probably reach a bit above Ikuto's head… And it was intimidating. How could he let his little sister ride such a big dog like that?

"I don't think that's safe." Ikuto said.

Aimi rolled her eyes. "Well that's lame. If you're worried about her falling and getting an owie, don't worry — Arata is really nice and stuff. He won't let her fall — watch." They were stunned silent as she began to climb on the big dog. Ikuto felt rather embarrassed when he caught a glimpse of her green panties. His eyes widened as he blushed a bit; hadn't her parents ever taught her to wear shorts or leggings whenever she wore dresses? Something to prevent… that from happening? He also didn't appreciate her comment. It sounded as if she was judging him, and he disliked being judged.

He heaved a sigh through his nose and watched as she patted the large dog on its back, and the animal took off much like a racehorse. He and Utau were stunned silent as she rode him around the backyard, and then came to a stop before them.

"See? Arata is a really good boy. He won't let you get hurt Utau-chan." Aimi said. Utau immediately looked towards her older brother and spoke to him while Aimi got off of Arata.

"Onii-san…" She said softly, so that Aimi couldn't hear. "She called me by my name… is that, okay?" They'd never been addressed by their names, unless it was their parents speaking to them. Not even the few children that they mingled with would call them by their name; formally using their surnames. It was quite an oddity for them to come across someone who didn't do that, and Utau was unsure of how to react.

Ikuto was, as well, and shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Just… act natural. Don't make her feel bad." He said to her. Utau nodded her head.

"So… can I go on the dog?" She asked. There was some hope in Utau's bright purple eyes. She had seemed to enjoy watching Aimi ride around on Arata as if he were a horse. And since she very much liked horses, she wanted to ride on the dog, as well; she just wasn't sure if her brother would allow her to.

Ikuto saw this, and decided that as long as Arata didn't do anything that he believed was too dangerous — like he went at a reasonable, slow pace — Utau could ride on him.

"Okay." He said. "Come on. I'll help you on."

"Wait a minute." Aimi said; stopping the siblings. "You can't just ride him like that. You have to let him get to know you better. If you go on him now, he might throw you off or something." She said.

"Well… how does she let him get to know her?" Ikuto asked.

"Play with him, silly. Go on. Arata, fetch!" Arata ran to the sandbox and both he and Inu got a bucket full of toys, and brought them over to the children. "Play with him. Let him get to know your scent and learn that you're not mean. Then you can ride him like a pony." She said.

Utau nodded her head and grabbed one of the plastic buckets filled with toys. It was the red one that Arata had in his mouth, and he managed to get a whiff of her scent as she did so. Utau took the chance to pet him, and while Arata was a little stiff at first, he let Utau touch him. That's when they began to play, and Utau found that playing with two dogs was better than one.


"So what do you like to play?" Aimi asked Ikuto. While he leaned against the tree's large trunk, she was swinging on her swing-set. It had been awfully quiet, and since she didn't like the silence very much, she decided to try and make conversation.

"I don't play games." Ikuto said.

"Really?" Aimi asked. There was a confused look on her face; what kind of child didn't play games? "Well… what do you do for fun?" She asked him; making the question broader.

"I watch concertos on TVs and compose music."

"Yuck!" Aimi exclaimed; sticking out her tongue. "That's something that grown-ups do. Your life is boring." She said. At this, Ikuto couldn't help the narrowing of his eyes.

"That's very rude." He said to her.

"I really don't care. Besides, it's weird. You're a kid and you're doing something that big people do. Don't you think that's weird? Like, you don't even play games or do anything fun. That's really, really sad." She said.

Ikuto sighed deeply; not liking the way she made his life sound. Yet he knew that she had every right to conclude something like that. After all, it was true. He really did do things that an adult would do, and had very little child influence in his life. But it wasn't his fault. There was very little he could do about it — just try to make the best of it, and that was what he did when he indulged himself into music.

But to this girl, that was too boring. Not his fault that she had a childhood and he was stuck trying to preserve that of his sister.

"Hmph." He said.

"Hey, don't get so grumpy. I'm sorry if you don't like what I say, but it's true. You should do something — you should have fun. Don't you play with your friends?" At his silence, she looked at him and saw that his head was titled downward and his arms were crossed over his chest. The expression of his face made her feel bad about what she said — he didn't have friends… did he? "You… don't have anyone to play with…" She said.

Ikuto remained motionless.

Aimi stopped swinging and hopped off. She then went over to him and grabbed his hands. He looked up at her and was momentarily taken aback by how close she was to him. Her face was barely a foot away from his — six-to-eight inches, he assumed — and her eyes managed to capture him.

They were so… gold. They were such an amazing golden color. Not dull, but pure and bright. It wasn't even that gold — it looked more like light was shining so brightly from her eyes, that she was trying to illuminate him. They looked like a portal to him. A portal into her heart because he could very much see just how badly she felt about what she had said, and it was overwhelming to see this much emotion in someone's eyes.

"I'm sorry." She said; her eyes looking a bit watery as she spoke. But he could barely register her words with those shining, life-filled orbs looking into his own eyes. (Briefly he wondered what she saw in his eyes… Could she see his emotions reflected from them, the way he could see in her?).

"About what?" He asked.

"That I was being mean… and kinda nosy. I didn't know that you had no friends… that must be sad…" She said softly.

At the tone in her voice, his eyes grew hard and he pulled away from her. He could feel himself growing defensive due to the look of pity in her eyes. He would not be pitied — that was not something that he would accept now, or ever.

"Hmph." He said. "My life is fine. It's not sad at all." He said.

"But… you're not a kid. You're a little grown-up."

"So? I'm mature for my age, is that really so bad?" He asked. "At least I'm educated and don't act as if I am a big baby, like you." Her eyes widened and her lips pulled apart as she gasped. She then frowned at him.

"That's mean. I'm trying to be nice and apologize. Why are you such a big meanie?" She asked.

"See? That's exactly what I mean. What kind of six-year-old says meanie? That's not even a real word." She placed her hands on her hips and her light-filled orbs grew angry and hard. She began to pout; a childish thing to do, but he found it to be an entertaining sight.

And, oddly, cute.

"Pfft! All the kids in my class say it. You'd know that if you ever went to school." She said.

"I do go to school." He responded.

"Really? A normal school with other kids and teachers and stuff? Because, like, home-schooling doesn't count you moron! If you went to normal school, you'd have friends unless you're all snobby and junk…" She said to him.

Ikuto didn't respond, but instead kicked a rock that suddenly became the most interesting thing in the backyard.

That was all the answer Aimi needed.

"Hmph! I knew it. You don't go to school — a normal school. No wonder you're all a big meanie. You don't know how to act." He was ready to say something defensive that he was certain would make her cry, when she grasped onto his hand and smiled up at him. He didn't know why, but he suddenly got a fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

"From now on, I'm your teacher and I'll show you how to be normal." She said. He frowned lightly at her.

"I am normal."

"But you have no friends and a person with no friends isn't normal. So I'm also your friend, and we're gonna start doing some really cool and awesome friend stuff like having sleepovers and going camping and…"

While he continued to listen to her list things that friends would do, Ikuto wasn't sure how to feel about it. He wanted to crush her built-up little fantasy and tell her that after today, they would most likely never see each other ever again. He was only at her house so that his father could conduct business with her own, and never again would he need to step foot into their simple home.

Yet the fantasies that she was creating before his eyes sounded nice and pleasant. He wouldn't deny that he's been wanting some of the childhood luxuries that she was speaking of. And that a part of him wished that they were possible, but he knew all-too-well how his family worked, and was one-hundred-percent certain sure that the things she was saying — of spending time with him, having fun, and being his friend — were highly unlikely… but it was nice to dream.


Despite his skepticism, Aimi ended-up becoming a regular at his household, and he often visited her. Their parents began to work closely together, and this allowed her to try and carry-out her plan of teaching him how to be 'normal'.

She mainly focused on having fun with him, and managed to convince his parents to allow him to sleepover at her house, and go with her to amusement parks and other places.

It was odd for him, to spend so much time with one person as they showed both he and Utau what it was like to be a child. And several times, he declined her invitations because they were getting too out of his comfort zone, and he wasn't sure how he would handle himself.

But she always managed to convince him to go, one way or another. That was the thing about her. She was persistent. And her persistence made him slowly start to like her more and more. And it wasn't long before he considered a friend.

Yet he was clueless to the fact that one of their infamous outings landed her with a fatal consequence. All they'd done was have an adventure in the woods near her neighborhood park. And that had apparently landed her with something very, very terrible.

Something that would lead to heartbreak…

He first noticed it the following Christmas of the next year, when she was scheduled to come over to his house and celebrate the holidays with him…


"Where is she?" Ikuto couldn't help but ask his mother, as he patiently waited for the arrival of his best friend. He was holding a large box in his hands — her present — and was more-than-eager to give it to her. He wanted to see her face, especially her eyes, light-up when she saw what he had gotten for her…

"Calm down Ikuto." Souko said as she continued to make sure that her house looked pleasantly decorated with many holiday-themed objects. So far, it looked fine. Completely unlike what their house was, last Christmas, when it was completely bare and void of any holiday-spirited decorations. She continued to tinker with the star on the Christmas tree as she tried to get the angle right. She'd have one of their house servants to do it, but she had sent them all away for the holidays… (It was something that she had never done, before). "I am certain that they will arrive soon. Now, stop fussing and fix your appearance. And remember, I do not want you and that girl to do anything… ridiculous. She has no boundaries…" She muttered beneath her breath, but Ikuto still managed to catch it.

And it made him frown. He didn't like the fact that his mother was speaking badly of the one person whom he considered to be his friend. (Again, Utau was still his little sister and it was difficult to see her as anything more than that — someone whom he would always love and care, and save).

He wanted to speak-out against her comments towards Aimi, but all thoughts of his mother were pushed-out of his mind as he heard the doorbell ring.

She's here. He thought as he placed the gift down, and went to open the door. Utau had heard the bell ring, as well, and was trying to beat him there. But he was bigger, older, and faster than she was, and managed to get there before her. Utau pouted at this.

"I want to greet her first." She said; his little sister had developed quite the loving relationship with Aimi, to the point where she considered Aimi her older sister. He knew that she was about as eager as he was, to see her.

But he wanted to see Aimi more.

"Maybe." He responded.

"What? Onii-san!" She exclaimed. He shushed her and then grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. He smiled at Aimi's parents, and greeted them. "Hello Miyake-sans." He said.

"Hello Ikuto. Hello Utau." Mrs. Miyake said with another warm smile on her face.

"Hello Miyake-san. Where is Aimi-san?" Utau asked. To both of their disappointments, Aimi wasn't with her parents. There was a distinct lack in her presence that caused his mood to lower from the happy and excited state that it had been in, a few moments ago.

"Oh… I know how much you children were looking forward to spending your first holiday with Aimi, but I'm afraid to say that she's fallen ill and was unable to come." Mrs. Miyake said to them all. It was sad news to hear — especially since it regarded Aimi's health. A million questions popped into Ikuto's head as he heard this news.

Was she okay?

What was wrong?

Was it serious? Or something minor?

Was it a virus? Bacteria? The common flu? Or something worse?

When would she get better? How long was the recovery time? The treatment? Would she be fine by tomorrow? Next week? Next month?

A part of him was pointing out that he was blowing things out of proportion, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Aimi, his best friend, was sick. He had every right in the world to worry about the person who seemed to single-handedly make his life better — the life he had craved for.

He felt the sudden urge to leave his home, go to her house, and nurse her back to health. It was a foreign feeling, but it was there and growing larger and larger in his chest. He held back on his barrage of questions, though, knowing that her parents probably couldn't answer them all at once, or at the moment; so he instead settled upon a simple, easy-to-answer question.

"Is she going to be okay? Can I go to visit her?" They were two questions, but they were average questions that would require average answers.

"She's going to be fine. It's just a fever." Mrs. Miyake said. "And if your parents say that it's okay, you can come visit her tomorrow, if you'd like." And because she knew that the little girl would ask, Mrs. Miyake turned to Utau and said, "You too, sweetheart. You can come as well."

Utau smiled at the woman and nodded her head. "Thank you." She said.

"Yes. Thank you." He replied.

He was glad that she was giving him permission to see Aimi. He was afraid of what she may be suffering through, home alone (well, most likely with a nanny or nurse of some sort, but without the love and attention of her family) on the most family-orientated day of the year. He disliked that he couldn't speak with her and watch her face as he gave her his present. But he supposed that giving it to her as a get-well-soon gift would be much better.

He let the Miyake Family, minus one, inside and after closing the door, he took their coats while Utau led them to the living room. He placed the coats in the closet nearby before going to the living room, as well.

Already his parents were greeting the Miyake Family, but he could tell that the evening wouldn't be as festive as he had anticipated, due to the lack of a pink-to-blonde-haired girl.


"Can we please visit her?" He asked his father and mother, the following morning. They were all seated in the family dining room and eating their breakfast which had been prepared, a few moments ago, by the kitchen staff. (His mother only let the staff go for a single day). He chewed his eggs and drank some water before continuing to speak. "Miyake-san is very ill, and I would not only like to see if she is feeling any better, but would also like to deliver her holiday gift, face-to-face." He felt like he was making a compelling argument, but with his father and mother, nothing was ever guaranteed to work.

"You have taken quite the interest in this girl, Ikuto." His mother said as she ate her pancakes. "Why is that?"

"She is my companion." Ikuto responded without a moment's hesitation. He refused to let his mother see just how much he cared for Aimi. He was certain that his family would do something to take her away from him, just so that he could no longer feel any happiness in his life. It was sad, but true. "I see nothing wrong with worrying over a comrade."

"I never said that there was anything wrong with it, I was just curious. She seems to have weaved her way quite nicely into your life…" His mother paused to take a sip from her gold-banded champagne glass, filled with ice-cold water and ice. "I wonder if she has an angle…"

He could feel his cheeks burn as he dug into the small piece of meat that was on his plate. There was almost one of every food group there, because his parents highly believed in a balanced diet. He couldn't believe what his mother had just said.

Actually, he could.

His mother had always been a paranoid woman, and couldn't believe that someone would like her or any member of their family, unless they were trying to get at their wealth. He wasn't exactly sure where this paranoia began, but he didn't care, either. He was just upset that she was accusing Aimi — his best friend Aimi — of being a gold digger of all things!

She was seven-years-old!

He hardly believed that she had the mentality or sinful heart to want nothing but his money. He didn't even have anything. If she truly wanted money, she would try to become friends with his father — she's shown no interest in the older male.

It was a sick thing to think of; that a little girl would try to get with an older man just because she wanted his fortune. And Aimi was too sweet and oblivious to the world around her to even think about something like that. What his mother was saying about his friend, disgusted him, and he wanted nothing more than to knock some sense into the woman. She was obviously going through some mental problems if she believed that to be the reason behind his close bond with Aimi.

He began to snuff out the flame of anger within him as he tried his best to respond to his mother in a way that wouldn't come-off as rude or talking back to her.

"I think she just wants to be my friend… That is what she said to me the first day we met." He responded. He would admit that he was nervous over how she would respond to his statement. From the corner of his eye, he could see the way Utau looked at him from her seat at the table, on her extra high, padded chair. She was nervous for him; he could see it. But even if his mother disapproved of his comment, he wouldn't take it back.

He would defend Aimi as long as he had to…

"Hm… I suppose so — still, it has never been a bad thing to protect yourself; especially against people whom you have only known for around a year…" She said. Her face was formal, but he knew that she was unpleasant over his comment.

He exhaled lowly and decided to grasp the nerve to bring the conversation back to its original topic.

"May we visit her, then?" He asked.

There were a few moments of silence between the question and the response. When none came after the expected time frame, Ikuto took that as a no and held back the frown that wanted to appear on his face.

He finished his breakfast in the tense atmosphere of the dining room table, and then excused himself when he had finished eating. A worker got his dishes, and he was well on his way to exiting the room when his father called-out to him. He paused his motions entirely, and turned to his father.

(He was surprised by the fact that he recognized his father's voice; it'd been a while since the two last spoke).

"Prepare. We will go visit them this afternoon."

"Thank you, Father." He said lowly. He then turned around, left the room, and couldn't hide the happiness and excitement that was swelling inside of him.

He would finally get to see Aimi.


She was most definitely ill.

And it was such a sad sight.

Her long pink and blonde hair was sprawled on the bed like an extra blanket beneath her, and he was certain that she was uncomfortable because of it. Her face was red and sweaty, and she looked to be having problems breathing.

It made his heart wrench at the sight of her weak, sick state. He'd never seen Aimi like this before. She looked… close to death and the thought of her dying was just… just…

He couldn't bear with it.

"Ikuto-kun…" She said softly, weakly. She tried to pull her pale lips back into a smile, but he could tell that she didn't exactly have the strength to do so. He wanted to stop her will to smile, but Aimi was a stubborn girl and he knew that she'd refuse to not smile at him. "Hi. I-I'm so glad to see you…"

"Aimi-chan…" He said softly. "You… um…" He was unsure of what to say. Seeing his uncomfortable state, Aimi raised a hand to her mouth as she laughed. It wasn't as if she needed to cover her mouth in front of him; her parents had already given him a mask to wear over his mouth and nose so that it would be difficult to catch her flu…

"Yeah. I know — I'm sick." She said; trying to smile warmly at him, and not coming-up short. "It sucks. I really wanted to spend Christmas with you…" There was a small tint of red on her cheeks, but whether it was because of her statement or flu, was hard to decipher.

"Same here." He said. " But… that doesn't mean that you still can't enjoy it. I brought you your gift." He said.

Her eyes widened.

"My gift?" She asked. "You actually brought me a gift?" Her eyes were filled with happiness and wonder as he nodded his head, and reached down to grasp the large red box that he had snuck into her room. He was glad that it was only the two of them, because it made his delivering of her present, all the more special. Aimi's eyes quickly scanned the large cube, with graphic red wrapping paper, and a gold ribbon wrapped around it, with a pretty gold bow on top. It was the most extravagant gift box that she'd ever seen. "Wow…" She whispered.

"Do you want to open it?" He asked. "Or… maybe, do you want me to open it and show it to you?" He was eager to get her to see what he had gotten her. It was very important and special to him because it was the first time they'd ever exchanged gifts since Aimi's birthday wasn't for another few days, and his had already passed. So this gift was very special.

"Mm… maybe later. I wanna talk some more, first." She said; pausing to cover her mouth with a white handkerchief that lay beside her on the bed, as a serious of violent coughs racked her body. An odd noise appeared from her mouth, a few moments later, before Aimi closed the handkerchief, wiped her mouth with a set of tissues that were also beside her on the bed, and placed everything to the side. Ikuto's eyes honed-in on a red spot that was left on her pale lips.

"Aimi-chan, did you bite your lip?" He asked her.

"Huh? Why would you ask me that?" Aimi asked him.

"There's blood on your bottom lip." He said. Her eyes widened as she grabbed a new tissue and wiped it away. She then threw it into the wastebasket that was beside the bed, and gave him a smile.

"My lips are really frail, now… I haven't eaten much in the past few days…" She said.

"Hm…" He said. "Did you have something to eat, now?" He asked. When she shook her head no, he got up from the seat that had been placed inside her girly room, just for him, and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked him.

"To get you some breakfast."


He visited her house every day, sometimes supervised and other times by himself, as he continued to take care of her. He made sure that she ate, and was recovering at a healthy pace. But while it didn't seem that Aimi's illness would go away anytime soon, he didn't mind caring for her and trying his hardest to help her get better, faster.

When over two weeks had passed and she still showed no signs of getting better, and with her birthday closing-in, Ikuto decided that he wouldn't allow her to miss such an important day. He opted at making her a small, surprise birthday party.

This included not only a small gift, but also some cake and ice-cream. Just for the two of them.

It was something he'd never been compelled to do before, not even for Utau, but something was driving him to do all these sorts of things for Aimi. He was highly unsure of just what it was, but he didn't believe that it would lead to anything bad, so he let the feeling be and just followed it.

He spent the better half of the day of Aimi's birthday, preparing the cake. He made sure to do this in privacy and with the help of his family's chef, because he was certain that his mother would disapprove of what he was doing for his best friend. She'd probably say that Aimi was getting just what she wanted from me doing this for her, he thought as he followed the chef's instructions and continued to ice the cake.

It was her favorite: half chocolate and vanilla with strawberry ice-cream on top. He had decorated it in all-purple frosting that tasted a little like ice-cream, and with pink piping gel to spell out: Happy Eighth Birthday Aimi!

When he was done, he inspected the three-layer cake with the fancy girly decorations on it. The chef had been more-than-happy to aide him in his task, and was even nice enough to add some very beautiful, feminine decorations to it that he knew Aimi would enjoy; the little girl was obsessed with animals, and the paw-print and animal design on the cake was just right for her. He couldn't wait to see her face once she saw the lizard that wrapped around the cake. (She oddly liked lizards more than dogs, to the point where she had a pet lizard in her room).

It was a more-than-satisfying cake, but he was nervous about what Aimi would think of it. It was odd, he thought as he packed the cake and other utensils, and began to place them inside the car that would take him to Aimi's house, on his own, before his parents saw what he had been up to, that he was going through such lengths for a girl that he had just met about a year ago.

Never in his mind would he have thought that his relationship with Aimi would grow into such a level; never would he have imagined that he'd ever have a friend that he'd go so far for, just so that she could be happy.

(He always thought that his first, real friend would be male, but that didn't mean he disliked the fact that it was female).

But as out-of-his-comfort-zone that it was, he knew that it was still a very nice gesture, and that Aimi deserved it since she'd been getting worse each and every day that passed. She barely ate a piece of sushi before she threw it up, and coughed blood.

With everything in the car, he got his coat, said goodbye to his parents, and allowed the chauffeur to take him to Aimi's house. On his way there, he grasped onto the strings that were tied tightly around the box that had Aimi's cake in it, harshly, so that it wouldn't fall or anything.

When he finally reached her house, his stomach was fluttering with nervousness. He gulped as he got out of the car, and made his way to her front door. He knocked, and her mother greeted him a few moments later with a smile on her face — her facial expression then shifted into one of curiosity as she caught sight of the white box in his hands, and looked back up at him.

"Hello Ikuto." She said to him with a sweet smile.

"Hello Miyake-san." He responded. "May I please come in?"

"Of course." She said as she opened the door wider for him, and he entered her abode. "I must ask: what is it that you have there, Ikuto?" She asked him.

"It's a gift for Aimi-san." He said. And because he was bold enough to do so, he said to her, "I baked her a cake."

"Oh! That's so sweet!" Mrs. Miyake exclaimed as she looked down at the adorable little boy. Ikuto tried his hardest not to blush, and was glad that his coat momentarily hid his face as he began to take it off. "That's a very nice gesture, Ikuto. I'm sure Aimi will love it — did you bake it on your own?" She asked as she took his coat and scarf, and began to put them away.

"Not necessarily. I had the house chef's help." He stated honestly; a part of him wanting to say that he did it all his own, so that Aimi would be even more impressed by it. But he wasn't one to plagiarize. "Would you like to see it?"

Mrs. Miyake nodded her head and looked into the white box after Ikuto opened it. She was happily surprised to see a beautifully-decorated, purple-iced cake with a spectacular green lizard design crawling on the sides of it, and an adorable message written on the top. She smiled down at it; her heart filling with joy at the fact that Ikuto had done such a thing.

"It's beautiful." She said softly. "I know Aimi will eat it up." Mrs. Miyake stated with a sense of security in her voice that Ikuto hoped was the truth.

"That's what I'm hoping for." He said as he closed the box. "Is she feeling better? Do I still need a mask?" He asked her.

She made sure not to show the sadness that the question created. "Yes. You should wear a mask, and make sure that you don't get too close to her; I don't want you catching that cold and your mother chopping my head off." She laughed at this statement, but a part of him said that that's exactly what his mother would do — that and never allow him to see Aimi, ever again, and he did not want that.

"Okay." He simply responded.

He took the face mask that she gave him, and then made sure that his hands and everything were washed before he headed up the stairs to the second floor, and knocked on Aimi's room.

He expected a weak, "Come in," but instead got a dog's barking. The deep sound told him it was Arata.

"Arata, it's me." He said. The door opened a while later, and Ikuto saw that Arata was seated on the foot of Aimi's bed. There was a string in his mouth that was attached to the door, which he surely used to pull it open. It seemed like not even Arata wanted to leave Aimi's side.

Entering, he closed the door behind him and hesitated for a moment at seeing her. Every time he saw her, growing weaker and weaker, he could feel his heart break.

This time, when he turned to see her, he didn't think he would have any heart left with the way it was crushed into dust.

Aimi was hooked-up to an oxygen tank with a mask over her mouth. Her chest was heaving harshly as she struggled to breathe. It killed him to see her like that; and he almost dropped her birthday cake on the floor as his breath was taken away from him in the worst way possible.

"Aimi…" He muttered.

Aimi opened her eyes — they lacked that life and sunshine that he had grown so used to seeing in them, for the past year, that he had somewhat neglected their beauty. He always thought that Aimi would remain that bright, beautiful girl. But now… now he could literally see the life being sucked from her golden orbs, as they were the dullest shade of yellow that he'd ever seen in his lifetime.

She tried to smile, and he shook his head. His fingers tightened deeper around the string that he used to carry the box, and his nails dug into the palm of his hand.

"Don't…" He muttered softly. "Don' t try to smile, please."

"I—"

"No! Don't try to speak either." His tone was demanding and harsh, and it was the first time he'd ever spoken to her like that — ever! And it left a bad taste in his mouth. He shouldn't be so mean to her; especially when she looked to be on her death bed… "I'm sorry, just… just…"

He couldn't speak.

His voice was clogged in his throat.

How was he to react to this sight of her? He had come here expecting the best and he got… he got… He honestly couldn't believe that the frail, weak little thing that he was looking at in the bed was Aimi… No. It couldn't be.

That girl with the dull colorful hair, lifeless gold eyes, and stick-like body was not Aimi. Not his Aimi…

"Ikuto…kun…"

"No! Stop talking!" He shouted at her. He didn't want her to waste her energy for something as dumb as talking. She needed her strength. Did she not see what she looked like?! She looked like a ghost that had taken on a human body.

She looked… she looked…

He was about to cry. He could sense it. But he held himself back. He refused to cry. He had to be strong for the both of them — he had to show her that he still held the hope in his heart that she would get better…

"I brought cake." He said, changing the topic. "It's your favorite. I figured that since today was your birthday, you could eat it, and you and I can have a small birthday party — just the two of us." He stated as he went over to her bedside table (the one where the oxygen tank wasn't), and began to open the box. He paused, and looked deeply into her weak eyes.

"Happy birthday." He said. And because something compelled him to do so, he lowered the mask from his face. Her eyes widened as she did this. But he avoided this as he placed his mouth on her forehead, and gave her a kiss.

His heart thumped, and he hoped that Aimi's did so as well.

She smiled up at him, and then he pulled back and placed the mask back over his mouth. She then mouthed words that made his heart skip a beat: I love you. A blush tinting her face, and somewhat bringing back some of its original color.

I love you, he repeated in his mind. The words made something within him explode as millions of butterflies invaded his stomach, and a happy feeling began to wrap around his heart. He had no clue why this was happening, this happy feeling that was suddenly taking control of his body. It made his throat dry and he had to gulp down saliva about three times.

I love you.

Those three syllables kept repeating themselves in his mind, and he wasn't sure what he should do. Should he say them back to her? He wasn't sure if he could do that — his throat grew more dry as the words sunk deeper into his mind.

I love you.

Say something, he said to himself. And because he was still blank when it came to a response, he cleared his throat, turned back around to the cake, and said: "Do you want a big piece, or a little piece? There's a flower — do you want that?"


He felt like an idiot, later that night.

I should've said it back. He thought as he once again rolled onto his side. He was on his bed, ready to fall asleep, but that day's earlier events kept racing in his mind. I should've said it back — it wouldn't have killed me.

He felt bad.

He should've said it back. How hard was it to say, I love you, too? Apparently, it was harder than telling his mother that the drapes she bought didn't fit with the motif of the living room, something that was nearly a death sentence.

He should've said it back. He should've said something back that didn't revolve around the cake.

But it was difficult for him to say something emotional, because he had never been in-tune with his emotions. He grew-up learning that emotions were the enemy and should always be hidden. How could Aimi have expected him to reply something back that held emotions behind it?

She couldn't, and a part of him said that she didn't. The way she smiled at his response told him that she didn't expect him to be emotional, but that upset him.

Does she really think so lowly of me? That I'm incapable of being… emotional? The thought hurt his heart. To have Aimi think that he was some sort of robot that couldn't show her any affection… he was unsure of why it tore him up from the inside, but it did. Like a hot knife slashing through his flesh while burning it at the same time.

He turned onto his back, once again, and decided that he ought to fall asleep, so that he could go back to her house, early the next day. He fluffed his pillow, raised his blanket to his shoulder, and laid his head against it.

He wasn't even able to close his eyes when there was a knock at his door. "Come in." He stated.

To his surprise, it was his father. He immediately sat up on his bed and removed the sheets from his body. For a moment he wished that he hadn't chosen to wear the pajamas with dinosaurs on them, so that he could look more professional like his father wanted him to be, and less like a child.

"Yes Father?" He asked.

His father was never a man that beat around the bush. He was very assertive in his conversations, and could deliver the worst of news with such a stone-like voice that it was hard to decipher if he cared about the other person's emotions, or not.

Yet, that was not what he saw in his father, that night.

His father's eyes clearly showed a tint of sadness in them as he took a seat on his bed, and placed his hand on his back. Ikuto was frozen still for a moment as his body registered the foreign contact. How long had it been since his father touched him? Hugged him? Patted his back? Gave him a high-five?

Have any of these things even been done once?

"Ikuto…" His voice soft and heavy, he looked at him straight in their matching blue eyes. Ikuto's heart pounded. What was going on? What was his father about to say to him? "Aimi—"

He didn't hear anything else after that.

All he could hear was the world shattering before his eyes as it broke like glass and rained down on him.

No…


Aimi had caught a case of Pulmonary Anthrax a few days before, and died on that night — the day of her birthday. Her respiratory system gave-in a few hours after he had left her home, and his father had been thinking of the right time to tell him, despite it being out-of-character to wait.

He knew how Ikuto felt about Aimi. He could very much see it in the way the child grew defensive whenever his wife spoke badly of the little girl. And while he and his son did not have a positive relationship, he was still his son, and he had to treat certain situations as fragile as it was. Ikuto was still so young…

Since that moment, Ikuto was left a shell of the boy he could've become. Without Aimi there to push him forward into doing things that normal children would, he slowly fell back into the routine that his parents approved of, and no longer went out.

But he never forgot of the moments he shared with Aimi, and craved to be with her, again. He wanted that light back in his life — he hated the cold, frightening darkness that was slowly consuming him. He could feel his mentality slipping each and every day, as he went longer and longer without that necessary positive force in his life.

And just as he thought that he was going to permanently fall into the black hole, he met a little girl who had that same light. And another… and another… it wasn't long before his mind concluded that only little girls could be that brightly burning candle, and his body began to search for one that not only resembled Aimi in some way, somehow, but could also pull him from the abysses of his family lifestyle.

That was all he craved — a little girl with light and life.


.

.

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I thought this would be 10,000 words, but I guess over 11,000 isn't that much… I fit in everything that I wanted, without it being too much. I just hope the ending was alright. I tried to explain it as best as I could, but I feel like I failed at it. *sigh* I'll go back to it, eventually, and perfect it. Until that time, I want to know what you all thought of this chapter. It is very important because it shows just what Ikuto's disease is, and how it started.

Yes, he is a pedophile. But not in a way where he wants little girls because he's attracted to them, but because he was scarred by Aimi's premature death and wants to find a little girl who could be his new Aimi, forever and ever. He wants someone who not only looks like her, but can make him feel normal. Amu, currently, is this female because she is able to get a reaction from him, and she has the pink hair that resembles Aimi.

*Note: Aimi is an OC of mine that I use in my other stories, as well as my personal original story. This is her natural appearance, so it's not like I created a whole new character just to fit the role of the girl whom was Ikuto's childhood love and led to his obsession. Thank goodness I already had her…

Next chapter: The aftermath of Ikuto's first meeting with Amu. How will he react to her? And why, oh why, does Amu hate him so much? Glimpses into Amu's past!

Please review and thank you for reading!

Xoxoxo Chibi Star Vamp