Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is not mine. Kim Possible is not mine. If they were, I'm sure I'd have enough knowledge memorized about both of them so as to write a much better fanfic.
Monkey Paw, Monkey Fist
By Upgrade
To quote Robert Asprin: "I'm not a fast writer. I'm not a slow writer. I'm a half-fast writer."
Chapter 4
After a bit of running, Ranma got irritated at how slow they were traveling. Quick as a flash, he grabbed Ron and slung him over his left shoulder, then did the same to Kim over his right shoulder. Picking up the Kimmunicator she dropped, Ranma began leaping south, following the map on the handheld device.
"What are you doing?!" Kim protested.
"You two are too slow. This is much faster," Ranma explained.
The orange-haired girl did not care for being picked up and carried like some excess baggage. Kim pounded on the cursed boy's back, "Put me down!"
Ron was busy catching his breath, and made no complaints. Although he was starting to get sick from the constant rising and falling.
"Otenba no baka," Ranma muttered, feeling no pain from her blows.
"What did you call me?!" Kim shouted, recognizing his tone as an insult.
"Stupid tomboy," Ranma translated.
"You jerk!" Kim tried beating on him harder.
"Stop hitting me, it annoys me," Ranma complained, as if talking to a little kid.
Kim's opinion of Ranma had taken a sharp nosedive from all of this.
However, it wasn't much longer before Ranma stopped and set them down. Ron lost his last meal all over the ground. Rufus held his nose at the smell. Kim glared at Ranma. He gave her back her Kimmunicator, saying, "We are here."
In front of them was a temple made from stone blocks the size of an average computer tower. Monkey carvings covered the walls, with statues of monkeys in various positions lined a cobblestone walkway to the entrance. "This does seem like Monkey Fist's kind of place," Ron remarked weakly, still recovering from his vomiting.
"Let's go," Kim sprinted inside, her anger at Ranma pushed aside for more important matters. The boys followed.
Meanwhile, inside the temple was a large ceremony room. It was fairly plain, with a large round stone table right beneath a hole of the same size in the ceiling. The walls were at least 18 meters high, with 15 meters of space between them. About every eight feet on the walls was a light green border of monkey carvings, each border approximately seven inches in height.
At the stone table stood a hairy man in a black martial arts gi that matched his fur, his hands and feet looking more like an ape's than a human's. This was none other than Monkey Fist.
At the stone table, the ninja monkeys had just given their master the cursed Monkey's Paw. Monkey Fist held the paw in his right hand, and the Wounded Monkey statue in his left, his arms high in the air. "At last! Once I combine these two items together, I will truly be invincible!" The borders on the walls began to glow expectantly with bluish light.
"Not if we have anything to say about it!" Kim yelled as she entered the ceremony room, Ron and Ranma right behind her.
"You're too late, Kim Possible! Monkey ninjas, attack!" the ape-man pointed at the trio.
"Mokou Takabisha!" Ranma fired off a ki blast right into the oncoming swarm of black-garbed primates, scattering them like a bowling ball hitting pins in a strike. The ninja monkeys panicked and ran out of the exit.
"Wha-! How did you do that?!" Ron's eyes were as wide as could be. Kim wasn't much better.
While they were distracted, Monkey Fist touched the base of the Monkey's Paw to the Wounded Monkey statue's arm stump. Yellow light flashed as the paw attached itself to the arm. "Now, Statue of Sun Wu Kong! Give me the power of the Monkey King!" The statue shone brilliantly with scarlet light as Monkey Fist was laughing maniacally.
When the light had faded, and everyone could see again, Monkey Fist's attire had changed. A metal band was wrapped around his forehead. Golden chainmail covered his upper body, with flaps draped over each thigh. Loose white pants were tucked into brown boots that had white clouds stitched into the sides. A cap with a long feather stuck in it was on his head. In his right hand was a red short staff with golden bands on each end. His skin had turned gray, and his eyes were now lit up with golden flames. The Wounded Monkey statue lay on the ground, the steel band from its head missing.
"Wahahaha! Even the gods trembled at the might of Sun Wu Kong! And now, his strength and abilities are mine!" And Monkey Fist went off into another long string of maniacal laughter.
"You two should go," Ranma stated.
"You expect us to leave?" Kim questioned incredulously.
"Kim, if he's really got the powers of the Monkey King, we don't stand a chance! You see that staff? It weighs, like, 18 thousand pounds! And he's holding it like a toothpick!" Ron told her.
"How do you know this?" Kim wondered.
"I was reading the book on it, remember?" Ron reminded.
"Get away," Ranma demanded.
"What about you?" Ron asked.
"I will stay and fight," Ranma answered.
"Do you really think you can win?" Kim queried.
"Saotome Ranma does not lose," the Oriental boy smirked confidently.
"Saotome Ranma?" Monkey Fist repeated, having stopped his laughing in time to hear that part of the conversation. "You're the one who defeated Saffron, the Phoenix God?"
"Hai!" Ranma acknowledged, taking a few steps forward.
"Then you should be an excellent test of my new power!" Monkey Fist brandished the gold-banded cudgel at the cursed boy, and ran at him.
Ranma jumped over the oncoming weapon and punched his attacker in the face. An audible crack was heard upon impact. Ranma then jumped back, clutching his hand. Hitting this guy is worse than Ryoga. I'd rather punch solid steel! he thought.
Monkey Fist continued to attempt to hit Ranma. While Monkey Fist couldn't come close to matching Ranma's skill and speed, he was more agile and his strength was massive. Just from feeling the air pressure of Monkey Fist's attacks as he dodged, Ranma knew that getting hit was not going to be an option. But he was being kept on the defensive, unable to strike back.
"Whoa. It's like watching a Kung Fu action flick on high speed!" Ron stared.
Monkey Fist's staff was leaving craters in the ground and shattering the walls when it would hit them. Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator, "Wade, we need help! Monkey Fist used the paw and statue to get the powers of Sun Wu Kong! Ranma's barely able to hold him off."
Wade typed into his computer, scanning Monkey Fist through Kim's handheld device. "Kim, the steel headband seems to be the source of his power. Get it off of him, and his power will fade away."
"Got it!" Kim rushed in at the two fighters, jumping on Monkey Fist's back and tugging at the steel headband over his forehead.
"Foolish girl!" Monkey Fist grabbed her and threw her at the far wall. Kim's grip on the headband failed, but she did take the feathered cap along with her. Ranma leapt in Kim's path and caught her, but the momentum slammed him into the wall with great force.
"Stupid tomboy! What are you doing?!" Ranma yelled angrily, sitting on the floor.
"I was trying to get the headband off of him! That's his weakness!" Kim replied, offended.
"Fine! Just stay back!" Ranma told her. Seeing Monkey Fist rapidly approaching them, he fired off a "Mouko Takabisha" at nearly point blank range, sending the ape-man soaring skyward.
"I was trying to help you!" Kim argued.
"You are in the way, and will just get hurt! Now go!" Ranma stood up, waiting for Monkey Fist to come back down. Dust was falling from the ceiling, having been knocked loose by all the damage Monkey Fist's attacks had done to it. The whole building was rumbling and shaking.
Kim was really pissed off, but Wade's voice came out of her Kimmunicator, "Kim, all those times Monkey Fist has missed Ranma and hit the walls and floor have shook the temple stones loose. The whole building is going to collapse from the impacts and vibrations. You have got to get out of there!"
"Coming loose, huh?" Ranma smirked as if he had an idea.
Ron zipped over and tugged on Kim's sleeve, "You heard Wade, let's go before we're crushed!"
"Go, go!" Rufus urged.
Kim nodded and ran for the exit, Ron in tow. It wasn't until they got outside that the two of them realized that Ranma wasn't right behind them. "Kim, Ron, don't stop! My sensors tell me that there could be a tornado forming in there! And it's going to be a big one!" Wade warned them.
"A tornado?! The book didn't say anything about Sun Wu Kong being able to do that!" Ron kept running.
"You don't suppose...it's Ranma?" Kim wondered. After seeing him change into a girl and throw a ball of energy, she wasn't sure what else the pigtailed boy could do.
Monkey Fist sprang of one of the building's walls near the roof, headed right for his pigtailed adversary. Ranma dove to the side as Monkey Fist's cudgel hit where he had been standing, the stones of the floor caving in and standing up vertically from the force of the attack. "It's time I stopped playing with you," Monkey Fist said as he tore off a few strands of arm hair. Tossing them into the air, each one transformed into a duplicate Monkey Fist, complete with the clothing and gold-banded staff. Seven Monkey Fists then attacked Ranma simultaneously.
Luckily for Ranma, only a couple of them could get near him at once without them getting in each others way, but that didn't stop the seven Monkey Fists from trying. Constantly backing away, Ranma was able to evade their weapons enough to draw them into a spiral. Right as they reached the center of the spiral, Monkey Fist wondered, Why is it so cold in here?
Ranma made an uppercut, not even trying to hit any of the Monkey Fists, and shouted, "Hiryuu Shouten Haa!!!" A dragon-shaped tornado swirled into existence, sucking up the seven Monkey Fists into it. The tornado dragon crashed through the hole in the roof, and that proved to be too much for the temple. The whirlwind sucked in all of the stone blocks and dust as the building collapsed. The rocks collided in the cyclone, into each other and into the seven Monkey Fists. All of the Monkey Fist copies began to disappear, too damaged by the large chunks of stone and too drained of battle aura by the technique to maintain that form.
From outside, Kim and Ron could see the tornado come out of the temple. Kim gasped. "Oh, man! Do you think Ranma's alright?!" Ron worried as the temple became a swirling pile of rock.
In fact, Ranma was standing in the cyclone's eye, his eyes shut and his face tucked inside his shirt so as to protect himself from the dust. There wasn't really anything he could do but wait. The Hiryuu Shouten Haa was fueled by the battle aura of its victim, and the superpowered Monkey Fist had a very large amount of battle aura to give. But eventually, the whirlwind died out, most of the temple remains having been smashed against each other into smaller rocks and more dust. Monkey Fist fell on top of a pile of the rocks, knocked out cold.
Ranma walked over and pulled off the steel headband from Monkey Fist's head. The ape-man reverted to his normal appearance and clothing. Ranma snapped the headband, and it faded away into golden speckles of light. Kim and Ron ran over to the temple remains, glad to see that Ranma was alright. The Wounded Monkey statue had miraculously survived the tornado, still without its metal headband, and Ranma picked it up. He tossed it to Ron, who nearly fumbled it. Then, Ranma proceeded to walk in a northerly direction, saying, "Sayonara."
"Ranma? Where are you going?" Kim questioned.
"I want my cure. I can get home myself, so go without me," Ranma declared.
"Bye!" Ron waved, even though Ranma couldn't see it with his back turned.
"I- Just- What- You're- Arrgh!" Kim groaned, and gave up. "Bye, Ranma!"
"He's a pretty cool guy," Ron remarked.
"Yeah, but he's still a jerk," Kim shook her head, I can't believe I was acting like that over him...
Monkey Fist stirred with a moan. Ron screamed and smashed the Wounded Monkey statue on the ape-man's head, returning him to unconsciousness.
"Ron!" Kim complained.
"Er...oops?" Ron said lamely.
End of story
Author's Note
Congratulations to reviewer Flames Chaos and Wolf, who pointed out that Ranma that Ranma was worried about a low test score in book 25. Further examination on my part found the principal calling Ranma "de worst student in de school". Ranma saw his test score and said, "Whoa. Thought it'd be worse." And Genma's reaction to Ranma's test score was, "Be a man and show some shame, will you?!" So there is actually some evidence of Ranma having bad grades. How bad is never shown. Whether the principal is referring to Ranma's overall grades, that one class, or Ranma's lack of respect, is unknown for certain. And it is unknown how strict Genma is on grades; for all we know, he considers anything under 90 percent to be shameful. It was Miss Hinako's test, meaning it should've been an English test. Of course, Ranma could've raised his grades after that incident... Anyway, while it isn't clear cut evidence that Ranma is a poor student and doesn't learn anything in school, it is suggestive that he is no straight-A student. At least in Ms. Hinako's class, which is English. So Ranma may indeed be more fluent in English in this story than he should be.
Okay, folks, this "mixed curse" thing is getting old. First off, Taro's curse is already effectively mixed: yeti-crane-bull-eel. That could very well be the only reason he could add in the Drowned Octopus. Secondly, I seriously doubt that the Jusenkyo guide would send Ranma the casket of Nanniichuan if the curses would just mix, at least not without a warning of some kind. And thirdly, while I'm not sure how accurate this is, I read somewhere that Rumiko Takahashi stated in an interview years ago that the Nanniichuan water would cure Ranma. So, I see the whole "mixed curse" thing as an excuse writers use not to cure him.
CatOnFire: Yes! I'm doing something right! You said: (I can't accurately explain it beyond reading the story feels like reading one of the filler stories for the Ranma manga). That's the idea! I wanted it to feel like that, or like an episode of KP, about the same either way. So, while I'm sorry you find it uninteresting and without enough substance, I am successful in my goal! I doubt you'll see this, but thanks for reviewing!
anon: You know, I never considered that Taro may have only splashed his back with Drowned Octopus water until you mentioned it. More fuel for my stance against curses mixing. You make some excellent points, and I encourage other readers to take a look at his review for the last chapter. Thanks a bunch, anon!
Yeah, it took me awhile to get this out. I started to work on it at one point, then tried to come up with a good way to make the story a bit longer. But everything I came up with didn't seem to work for me. I stopped for a bit, hoping something else would come to me, but nothing ever did. Eventually, I gave up and finished this. At this point, I don't think I'll be writing anymore Ranma/KP crossovers, or anymore KP stories at all. I hope you have enjoyed my story, and please review!
