DISCLAIMER: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or the rights to any songs performed or written by Jimi Hendrix or The Birthday Massacre

Chapter 4

I Owe You Everything

That night was really fuckin' terrible. I can't even tell you what I was feeling 'cause.. there was just so much chaos, you know? I dunno… it's weird describing a near-death experience. It's… it's almost like… like you live more in those little bits of time than you ever lived before. And you feel it all: Pain, sadness, numbness, high, low, it's all there. And then you get to that border… you know, before you know you're dead, and you start to struggle. And man… I struggled more in those few minutes than I've ever struggled before. To put it real plainly, it's the most fucked up thing you're ever going to feel. And… to tell you the truth, I felt lucky to be alive.

I ended up waking up the next morning feeling dizzy as shit, a helluva lot worse than the day before. My head felt like it was being crushed and my body felt like a block of lead. And to top it all off, I was in a lot of pain.

I had to really gasp in the first few breaths to try and calm my body down. And that's not even mentioning that I needed to convince myself I was still alive. I mean, let's face it, after you go through something as fucked up as a near-death-experience, you can't help but question it for at least a second.

I still had a fever. I was only able to tell 'cause I was so dizzy and everything looked like it was melted, or melting. It was a good sign though; showed I was recovering alright.

It took me a lot longer to get out of bed than usual, and when I did, I almost fell flat on my face. But a familiar friend was there to catch me,

"Jesus, Sano, what the fuck are you doing out of bed?!!"

I couldn't help but laugh at how worried Katsu was. It was just a part of his personality. What's funny is that no matter how much he signals how he wants to be my boyfriend, I'd probably end up mistaking him for my mother. Honestly though, even though I find Katsu to be a really nice guy, I don't dig on dudes personally. No sex appeal, you know? "Just getting up to get some morphine, man… can't a guy do that in his own house?"

He was pretty frustrated with me, I could tell. He was real huffy, a lot like a Mom, "Sano, you're not going anywhere, you hear me? I don't care if I've gotta strap you to your fucking bed. Besides, you've got enough pain-killers in you right now to knock out a fucking horse," He said, picking me up in his arms and lying me back down on the bed, "You need your rest,"

I couldn't do anything else but laugh weakly as he tucked me in. I'll tell you one thing, it felt really weird being treated like I was seven years old again. Matter of fact, I couldn't even recall the last time anybody cared enough to care for me like that. Katsu, though… he's stuck with me through thick and thin. He's always been like a scared little brother to me.

He pulled up a chair and sat down, looking at me with a heavy glare in his eyes, "You know you're one lucky bastard. Probably the luckiest one I know," He said, wiping away a tear in one of his eyes, "I don't know who that woman was, but she fucking saved your life, I hope you know,"

I didn't remember what he meant at first. Woman? I thought. When did I..? And then it finally hit me. I remembered the woman I saved last night. And suddenly, my mind started working again, asking all these different questions left and right. But I had to get one thing cleared up before anything else, "Is she alright?"

Katsu continued staring down at me, nodding his head slowly, "Yeah… I had some coffee with her before the sun came up. She looked really beat out. She was bruised up, cut a bit, but most of all I saw that she was… shamed… I guess that's the best way to put it…"

I looked over at him, nodding my head slowly before staring back up at the ceiling, "Yeah… is she still here?"

"No, no… I called her a cab and she went home. She left her number though, and a note on the fridge. She asked me not to read it. She said it's something for your eyes only," At the time, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. But then, even though I didn't think it was possible, his expression became a bit darker than before and he asked me a question that really caught me off-guard, "Anyway, she told me some things… things I'm actually quite curious about… Tell me, Sano, what did you do last night?"

I didn't say anything for a while. I had no clue what to tell him. Then again, I figured he already knew the truth so there wasn't much explaining, "What I did is nobody's business but mine and hers, Katsu. I don't care what you, or her, or even Kenshin says, alright? I did what I thought was right. So whoever says otherwise can just go straight to hell… like I almost did…"

That was about all he could take, the poor guy. He started crying as he got up from the chair and he wrapped his arms around me. I guess I went on a little too strong at the time. He was already enough of an emotional wreck without me reminding him of things like that. Although, the way he saw it, he was worse off without me. I could never see the logic in him for sticking around, but I could never deny how much I appreciated it.

I brought up my good arm, patting him on the back and holding him close. He just needed to let it out. He must've been scared shitless to have cried that much. But I won't lie, before I woke up, I was even more scared than he was.

* * *

Now, there was one important question I completely forgot to ask him at the time because of how caught up I was. I had no idea how it was that this woman, whoever she was, saved me. When I was done resting though, I knew I was going to find out.

I got a chance to read the note she gave me, which didn't help me realize who she was at all. It just said, "Wake up and dream again. Life is coming on back to begin." Now, not a lot of people know this song, but it's something I tried out at about five venues. It's a song I wrote called "Heartbreak Blues". It was weird. I guess she knew who I was. But that didn't leave me anything to go with except her number.

I got out of bed at about noon that day and I walked over to the living room. I picked up the phone from the receiver and I dialed her up. I waited, listening to one dial tone after another 'til I heard a click. When I did, I kinda straightened up, opening up my ears so I could hear her. She'd picked up the receiver. I don't know why, but I was hoping I'd leave her a message the first time I called. Now, think about it. How fucked up do you have to be to think of doing something like that? Now that she picked up the phone, I had absolutely no idea what I was gonna tell her.

"Hello?" That was the first thing I heard her say. Judging off the top of my head, she sounded really drained out, like she had the life sucked out of her or something. I didn't know whether it was because she wasn't sleeping or because she was finally getting sleep. But her voice… it sounded a bit familiar. I almost got the impression as if I spoke to her before.

"Uh… hi. Hello, I'm… I'm Sano… Sagara Sanosuke, the guy who, uh… helped you out,"

It sounded like she gasped a bit when she heard my name. I didn't really know what to think, "Oh… um, hello… are-are you alright?" She sounded real timid-like. It was really cute, I found.

I sighed, nodding my head slightly, "Yeah, thanks to you. I heard you were the one who ended up helping me out in the end. I don't know how you did it, but I sure as hell appreciate it, I hope you know… and, uh… if you don't mind, I wanna find a way of paying you back,"

There was a long pause between us as I waited to hear what she had to say, "Um… I, uh… you don't.. you don't owe me anything, Sano… just… just don't call here again… Maybe one day I'll come and find you… Good-bye…"

And before I could even get a word in I heard a click on her end and the line was cut. Just like that she was gone. It didn't really click right away as I looked down at the phone, but I really did know who she was. I couldn't remember where I saw her for my life, but I knew that I'd heard her voice sometime before. How could she have told me not to call her back? Otherwise, why would she have given me her number? I didn't get it. Thus, I figured that was it. I was probably going to bump into her at some point or another. When that was, I didn't know. But I had a feeling it would be sometime soon, maybe even sooner than I thought.

* * *

It took another week for me to start moving my shoulder again. Don't ask me how the healing process works. At this point I just figure that guys like me who can take a hit just close up faster than most other people. Anyway, the moment I got the chance, I was hitting the pavement again looking for some more gigs. The first day out, I didn't manage to find anything all that good. The smaller venues weren't paying all too much to have me around and I needed the money pretty bad. The next day though, something happened that I never really thought was possible.

Just for the hell of it, I tried looking in the more upper class clubs. You know, any place that at least looked like it'd take the kind of music I played. And who would believe it… I managed to get a week's commission at this club called The Mad Hatter. It's a really themed kind of joint. You basically can't get in if you've got nothing that looks good under a dark light. Anyway, I went in there, showed them the material I had and before I could even say anything, they had me for one grand a night. Imagine that, one thousand dollars a night! That was easily one of the greatest gigs of my entire career.

* * *

It was the first night of my commission. For the first couple of nights, I was gonna be playing with the club's band to give the people in the bar a feel for what I do. That night I figured I'd wear an old hippie get-up I had lost somewhere in my closet. At the time, I was backstage with all of the band members. Everybody was in costume with some kind of gothic thing going for them. I felt pretty out of place, but fuck it, what can you do sometimes, eh?

Anyway, I don't remember much of what the other guys said to me before going out there, but what I do remember is how hard it was for me to take my eyes off the singer. I don't know what it was, but there was just something about her that really made me kinda go into a trance, you know? Shit, it was so bad that when we got on stage, I didn't even realize we moved at all.

She wasn't too tall. She had long black hair with these purple stripes in it. She was wearing white make-up and black lipstick. Her body was so… I don't know, man, just so perfect. She wasn't skinny, but she wasn't big either. She was healthy looking. I guess if you wanna get real technical, her features were… I think the word is elegant. She just had this kinda way that was really graceful, sexy and dark at the same time. Her eyes though… it was them, which caught me off guard completely. She had these really dark blue eyes that just looked so… fascinating, I guess. Haha, put it this way, she was beautiful enough to make me use all these words.

Anyway, it was only when we got our announcement that I finally got the chance to wake the fuck up and get my guitar ready. When the drummer counted us down with a one, two, three, it was off, man. The first song was something called Video Kid by this band called The Birthday Massacre. It didn't ring much of a bell for me, but it was pretty easy to follow.

But the singer… man, oh man was she sweet. I can remember the way I soloed my way around the rhythm section, and when it came the time for me to launch into my main solo, she went right up against me, her hand slithering its way under my arm and across my chest like a snake. Oh man… I don't give a shit what anyone says, that was damn seductive.

Now, we went on for another four songs after that before it came to my number, which was the halfway mark of the show. I decided that this time around I would take on that old tune of mine. Whoever that woman was, she reminded me of the importance to have your own material when you're performing. And when I thought about it, that was a damn good song I had that I really never liked to perform. But this time around, I decided that now was better than never as I stepped up to the mic and I announced the song I was gonna play,

"Hey, uh… this is a little different from what we've been playing so far. It's an original inspired by the tunes of Hendrix, it's called Dreamy Night Blues,"

I started up with the main riff of the song, which was this really bluesy flavor of guitar. It was sweet and sentimental, but with that edge to it that really makes a blues tune a blues tune. Finally, I stepped up to the microphone and I started to sing it,

"Lonely nights… They're like every night of the week… Oh yeah, those old lonely nights… they're just like every night of the week… Those lonely nights I dream of you… My mind goes dark and bleak…"

Ah man, the moment I started busting out the old licks I had for this song, it was easily one of the freest moments for me when it came to music. I couldn't believe how good it felt. I mean, in the beginning I guess I never really liked the song because I didn't know how to put the passion into it right. But when it came to this time around… I just don't know. It was too crazy to describe,

"My mama done told me… that lovin' will beat you in… Yeah, oh my mama she told me… that love's got a.. way to win… She said, baby, wake up and dream again… 'cause life's coming on back to begin… Aw yeah, here it is, one more time…"

I went in for one more solo that the band really seemed to dig a whole lot. The crowd seemed to feel it, too. I mean, from what I could see anyhow 'cause fuck, I was so into it. She, the singer though, was watchin' me the whole time. I don't know what it was that made her do that, but she couldn't take her eyes off me. And then, when I started to go back into the last verse, she started singin' with me. I didn't see it comin', but I was too lost in the music to be distracted, man, you know?

"My baby done broke my heart… and you know that just ain't right… You know, my baby broke my heart now… and I didn't put up a fight… Now I don't need her lovin', nah… but who knows? Somebody might,"

With that, I made my final solo of the night with a wave after wave of distortion from my whammy bar and just like that, I felt myself feelin' the blues more than I'd felt in the longest time. The club was hollerin', the band was smilin', and the singer was starin' at me like you can't even imagine. It was a fuckin' night to remember.

* * *

By the time the show was over and we got paid, I was about ready to head back to my place, you know? The guys in the band were staying for an after party and they wanted me to stick around. I woulda dug it 'cause they were some real hip cats and chicks, but it wasn't my scene. So I just tipped my hat to them and headed off.

I was about to head out the door when I felt a hand grab onto mine and I heard a whisper of a really familiar voice in my ear, "Don't go yet… we need to talk…"

All too easily, my mind was changed.