AN: Hey everyone! Thank you to those of you who reviewed and stuck with this story. I'm trying to update as often as I can while working on two stories so...Anyway here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it! Review if you like it. Sorry it's so late. I meant to post some this weekend but I got distracted so anyways! Here it is! Enjoy and once again REVIEW!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does however.
Chapter Four
Dear Bells,
I want to come home and see you but I can't. I'm not yet finished here. I hope it will be soon if it will make you happy. Jase yelled 'She's not my girlfriend!' in camp. He was not loud enough that he'd be in trouble but loud enough. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. It was funny. Jason has been good enough. He's learning. He's away from home and people are starting to understand that. Jase was just being immature that one time. There really is no story. It was the first night we came here so…Going back to Kristen. There are a lot of ways to describe her but crazy is not one of them. She's a smart girl. I myself think the same. Bells, I know it's hard to understand but you'll understand soon. Deep down inside, you know how you feel and there's nothing I can tell you if you don't try and find it. I don't know if that's much help but that's all I can offer. I'm very grateful to him for being there. I'm glad he makes you feel better. He's a great man, better than most in Chicago. It's why Jase and I would approve of a relationship between you two. He'd treat you with respect which is not something I could say for some of the other men out there. Does any of that help? I love you and miss you, Bells. Try and think about your feelings, you'll know eventually.
Your brother,
Jazz
Bellsy,
Hi, Bellsy! I love you and miss you, sister. You're amazingly awesome. So, Eddie's been helping? That's…I don't know actually how I feel about that. I'm glad you're happy but you promised you wouldn't date without me being there so I can give them the talk. It's not right without it. And by the way, Kristen is NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! I like someone else. Remember that angel I told you about? She is amazing. She looks absolutely beautiful. She is a nurse in the medic area here. She is so kind around everyone. She is overall incredible. She talked to me a lot. I've finally found someone I can connect with outside of my family. Anyways, what have you and Eddie been doing and what did Kristen have to say?
Your brother,
Jase
I read each letter with a smile on my face. Jase's by far was the most amusing whereas Jasper's was…helpful to say the least but not nearly as helpful as I had hoped. It's been another two weeks since their last letters. The advice given to me by Jasper hadn't really helped me narrow down my feelings for Edward as much as I had wanted him to. Jasper is supposed to be the one that can help me but this time he wasn't much help this time. I started my responses to their letters.
Jazz,
I'm sorry but no. You're advice wasn't very helpful. But I haven't really taken the time to try and figure out my feelings. I like him because of his kindness and generosity. He's the only one besides you that I could even consider talking to about things like this. But even with that, I feel it's too early for those types of feelings. He makes me feel…I don't even know. Just looking into his eyes sends this jolt into me. Jase told me about this 'angel'. Have you seen this so called 'angel'? I love you and miss you too. I'll tell you when I figure out how I feel. But I'm going to tell you the truth, and don't tell Jase this, but I think I'm starting to fall hard and fast for Edward. It's too early and I'm scared he won't feel the same, Jazz. What do you think? Watch over Jase and come home soon.
Your sister,
Bells
Jase,
I love you and miss you too, Jase. Yes, Edward's been helping. He's been helping immensely. I don't think that anything will ever happen between us, though so you don't need to worry. He doesn't feel that way about me. He can't possibly feel that way about me. As for the Kristen thing, are you still denying your feelings for Kristen? You know you love her. She didn't say much about you if that's what you're asking. She asked if you were still a pain. That angel of yours must be great if you speak this fondly of her and if you were that excited to tell me about her. You've never been this excited about a girl. I'm happy for you. How did you first meet and see her? Did you get hurt? As to your question about Edward, we've just been talking, going places, and playing around. Come back home soon. Watch over Jazz.
Love,
Bellsy
I placed the letters in the envelopes and sent them out to my brothers on the field. These letters sent back and forth between me and my brothers really helps the paranoia settle. Even around Edward, I still worry over my older brothers. They mean a lot to me. But apparently not even Jasper can help me understand my feelings for Edward. I thought about Edward, trying to discover my feelings for him but that however did not work. But I did however recall all the emotions I had felt when I had thought about Edward going to the war. The sharp pain in my heart came back for the brief time. It was an overwhelming feeling of heartbreak, the worst kind.
The doorbell rang and I walked in that direction. I opened the door and saw the perfect gentleman, Edward Masen. My heart skipped a beat just at the sight of him. The sight was still as beautiful as ever. He had his bronze hair and his gorgeous green eyes. The color still astounds me to this day. Edward looked slightly nervous on my doorstep. His eyes met mine and I then saw his cheek lift in his beautiful crooked smile. I was dazzled still by his magnificence.
"Hello, Edward." I greeted slightly shaky due to his perfection. His crooked smile grew, if that was even responsible.
"Hello, Bella. I came to ask you something." he responded with his exquisite grin. I nodded encouragingly, telling him to carry on with what he was saying. "Would you like to accompany me to a dinner with the Carlsons on Saturday?" he asked. I was surprised that he would ask me to something like this. It must have been important to him if he was this nervous. I was very touched and grateful that he would invite me when he could have invited anyone else. I was silent for a while, long enough that it must have sounded like a rejection to him. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I can always ask someone else if you don't want to. I-" started Edward, nervously. My cheeks lift as well into a smile. I interrupted him by placing my finger on his lips to stop him from continuing. The tips of my finger tingled because of the contact with his amazing lips. Dismissing the feeling, I responded with my real answer.
"I would love to accompany you to dinner. It will be great." I answered, smiling softly. His grin came back and his eyes lit up. Excitement seemed to visibly seep into Edward Masen's eyes. The grin he held on his features made me feel like my heart was going to escape out of my chest. I adored the look on his face. He had the most incredible smile to match his eyes and seeing him happy made me feel the same way. Why does he affect me so? What is it about him that makes him so irresistible to me? Was it his charm, his grace, his looks, or his kindness? Will I ever know the answer to that million dollar question of mine? I took him in again before continuing. "Thank you, Edward. I'm touched that you would ask this of me."
"You're welcome, Bella. You mean a lot to me and it will mean a lot that you'll be there with me." he replied, equally as grateful. I was caught on the first six words of his second sentence, 'you mean a lot to me'. Maybe I wasn't the only one feeling that way.
"I feel the same way about you, Edward." I answered back quietly. Before we could talk more, Mother came up behind me.
"Oh, hello Edward. Would you like to stay for dinner?" asked my mother, courteously. Edward looks at me with an apologetic look before responding.
"I can't. I would like to but my parents and I are going out for dinner so we can do some last minute shopping for dinner on Saturday. I just came by to ask Bella if she would like to accompany me to that dinner." explained Edward, politely declining my mother's invitation.
"I see, well it was very thoughtful of you to ask this of my daughter." My mother replied. "Charlie will be glad that she accepted the dinner." she continued before walking away. She knew? I looked at Edward questioningly. He looked at me slightly guilty.
"I thought I should ask your father first." I nodded understanding the protocol. "I'll see you on Saturday." replied Edward. He kissed my cheek and my hand before walking away. A burning sensation filled my cheeks as I blushed a dark shade of red. The kiss to my hand sent a chill and a spark up my spine. He has no idea what he does to me.
The two days passed since the invite Edward had sent me. It was now Saturday night, the time of the dinner, and the deadline to Kristen's bet. It is the end of the month. I knew it wasn't possible but when I brought that up this morning with her, she said I still had time. She couldn't be right could she? Did I want her to be right? I tried to take Jazz's advice but it came without result. I knew however I was feeling more as I saw him. It was getting harder to stop feeling something for him when he's being so kind, so polite, so dazzling, and so perfect!
The stars were shining bright along with the city lights of Chicago, Illinois. My brown hair was curled majorly and for the first time, curled in the right places. I had a blue dress on similar to the dress I had on the first day I had met Edward, the day I had found out about my brothers and their departure to the war. I wore the same shoes I had worn that same night and some jewelry to make the ensemble complete. Make up had been placed on my face in all the right places. My mother had done well. I felt different.
The doorbell rang once again and it was opened for me to be greeted with the most amazing man, a true Adonis in a black suit and tie. His hair was as messy as always, making me feel the need to run my fingers through his hair. His emerald eyes shined brighter than I had ever seen before. No star's bright light could ever compare to the light his eyes held. He had a white shirt underneath the suit. The lips on his ever perfect face still sent me the need to kiss his incredible lips. How could one man look so unbelievably perfect, so perfectly irresistible? Edward was astounding, dazzling. His signature crooked grin was there sending my heart into a frenzy. I would never get used to this feeling.
"You look completely, positively, radiant tonight, Bella." complimented Edward, staring at me. It was like he was as captured by me as I was by him. He seemed to be as mesmerized as I was. Could that be possible? How could it be possible when I don't hold half the attention most girls in this city do? His gaze seemed dazzle, almost lovingly? Before I could interpret the hidden feeling in his eyes, Elizabeth called out to us on the street.
"Edward, Bella, are you both ready?" called out Elizabeth. Edward tore his gaze away and glanced back at his mother. He offered his arm to me and I took it and walked with him out the door of my house. I turned my gaze on him for a minute while we were walking down the path.
"Edward, you look very handsome tonight. I just thought you needed to know that." I complimented shyly, blushing furiously in the night. His grin widened a little bit. We walked further and met with his parents and made our way to the destination.
We came upon a large white mansion that was even bigger than the Masens' house. It looked incredible. The landscape was large and green. The driveway was large and made of cement and stone. Edward and I walked up the path like we had at my home with his parents in front of us. Edward's father rang the doorbell and a woman with red hair and blue eyes opened the door. Her hair was in a neat bun and she wore a black dress. A man soon joined her with brown hair and blue eyes. The woman smiled politely.
"Hello. It's a pleasure to see you all again. And who is this beautiful woman?" asked the woman.
"This is Bella Swan." answered Edward, looking at me with a grin. His eyes still contained the same light I had seen earlier.
"I'm Charlotte Carlson and this is my husband Alexander Carlson." greeted the woman. "My daughter, Clara will be down in a minute."
A young girl around my age came up behind them. She was devastatingly gorgeous. She had curly red hair and perfect blue eyes. This was no doubt, Clara Carlson. She was as beautiful as her mother and had her father's blue eyes. I felt my stomach sink. There was no way I could look that beautiful. Blue eyes from the girl locked on mine and Edward's locking arms. We had not let go one bit. The pair of observing eyes narrowed in my direction. I looked at Edward, dreading it knowing he must be looking at her in a way similar to how he was staring at me at my home. But what I really saw was that his gaze on the girl was uncomfortable. He seemed uncomfortable with the way she was looking at him. It had not been oblivious to him that she had feelings for him. He looked at me and smiled again and I did the same in response.
"Hello, Edward!" greeted Clara, giving Edward a hug. Clara pulled away and sent an obviously fake smile in my direction. "I'm Clara and who might you be?"
"I am Isabella Swan. Edward invited me here." I answered. I could see some dark emotion in her eyes, jealousy maybe? But what could she possibly be jealous of? She is one of the most beautiful girls that I've seen, Kristen also being on that very list. This was the type of girl that I thought Edward would pick, who he would be better off with. I looked at the place where her eyes were glued to and found my arm still in Edward's.
"Why don't we all go inside? I would be glad to hear all about you, Miss Isabella." replied Mrs. Carlson before walking inside followed by her husband, Edward's parents, and Clara. I was about to follow when Edward held me back.
"Bella, I'm sorry about Clara." said Edward. I looked at him a little surprised but not in any way awestruck by his behavior. He always did this, apologize for something others do. It's so Edward.
"It's ok, Edward." I replied. I stared deeply into Edward's eyes, deeper than I ever had before. My heartbeat went into a frenzy. He was indeed perfect. The sound of mine and Edward's names broke our contact and forced us to move unwillingly into the house and into the dining room.
Everything was set up. Precious china was on the mahogany table. The stainless silver next to each plate and napkins on the side of the plate as well. The others had sat down and were awaiting our arrival, noticing our absence. Edward and I walked to the seats next to Clara. Clara sat in the middle, forcing Edward and I apart. Edward pulled my chair out on Clara's right before taking his seat on her left. Conversations started amongst the adults whilst us younger ones remained silent, until Clara decided to make conversation.
"So, Isabella, how did you and Edward meet?" asked Clara, her eyes staring at me intently, like she was trying to judge her competition. There was no competition. She was better. I knew that but she didn't seem to yet.
"We met at the Masens' dance the first night I came home." I replied. The adults decided to chime in, Clara's parents taking interest in the subject as well.
"Where were you previously, Isabella?" asked Mr. Carlson.
"My parents sent me to finishing school when I was a young girl. They wanted me to learn how to be polite and kind, basically the opposite of my brothers." I responded with a laugh. The Masens all laughed with me. They knew what I was getting at. The Carlsons looked at me confused. "Don't get me wrong. My brothers are very polite and kind but sometimes they don't act as they should. They fought constantly. They're not always the perfect gentlemen and my mother wanted me to know better than that and thought maybe this would be a perfect opportunity for me to learn etiquette and manners." I explained. The adult Carlsons nodded.
"Do we know your parents or brothers, dear?" asked Mrs. Carlson.
"I don't know. I don't think so." I answered.
"How old are your brothers?" asked Mr. Carlson.
"They are eighteen and nineteen. They both just went off into war about four weeks ago." I replied. Their eyes looked at me in sympathy.
"They must be some very brave boys." stated Mrs. Carlson. I nodded as tears began to form. My brothers were brave. Brave didn't even quite cover it. They were fearless in my point of view. I will never see anyone like them. I knew that much.
"They are. My brothers are very courageous." I declared with certainty. They would not be out there if they weren't brave.
"How are dealing with that since it's been such a short time?" questioned Mrs. Carlson, concerned in the slightest.
"I'm actually dealing fairly well. The first week was a nightmare but I got through it." I looked at Edward. Our eyes locked and he smiled. "I never would have made it through it all without Edward. He'd been there since the first day I found out they were going to leave and he's been a great comfort. I owe him a lot." I answered, not once tearing my eyes from Edward's. Clara's eyes were on me, glaring.
"You owe me nothing, Bella. I did that because I worry about you, I care about you. I don't need anything in return." replied Edward, gazing into my eyes. His gaze was almost lovingly. Why was he staring at me like that? What did I ever do to deserve such as gaze from an Adonis like himself?
"Edward, could you escort me to the market tomorrow?" asked Clara in a much too sweet voice. Edward smiled his smile and nodded. Clara grinned and hugged Edward and he returned the hug. It shouldn't mean so much to me but it did. My heart sank in dread and sadness but anger flared. I knew this emotion would come around her but nothing had provoked this feeling as much as this instance had. It was the feeling of jealousy. I knew she had feelings for him and it seems she knew Edward longer. Clara had more time to get him to love her than I had to get him to love me the way I loved him.
My thoughts stopped. I backtracked at my last three words 'I loved him'. These three little words of upmost devotion made my heart race. I knew now the feelings I had for this piece of perfection, for Edward. I love him. I love him! This was my answer all along. Kristen and Jasper were right. I always knew deep down but could never comprehend the amount I had loved him. The moments our eyes met, the moments he smiled. Those were the moments my heart knew the adoration, the eternal bond existed. I loved him. Knowing the feeling would never be reciprocated sent made my chest ache. The pain became overwhelming, forcing me to leave the home and sit on the marble bench in the front yard. It was here on this very bench, my tears had been spilt. He would love her not me. The tears were silent.
A minute had not yet passed when I felt an all too familiar hand came upon my shoulder. I turned to the owner of the hand and saw exactly who I was expecting, and exactly the one I did not want to see, Edward. His eyes held extreme concern. He was worried about me. One thing about me spending so much time with Edward, I knew all of his expressions. They were almost dead giveaways to me now. Wet tears still fell down my cheeks. Edward saw this of course and used his thumb to gently wipe the tears away. I gently turned my head from him.
"Bella, what is wrong?" asked Edward. I was silent. I couldn't tell him both out of embarrassment and fear, embarrassment because he couldn't feel the same way and fear of my feelings ruining our friendship. "Bella, what is wrong? Please talk to me. You can tell me anything." replied Edward. I sighed.
"It's nothing, Edward. Go back inside and see Clara. I'm going to go home." I replied. Edward shook his head.
"I'm not going back in without you." responded Edward, stubbornly. I looked at him.
"What about Clara?" I asked. "Don't you want to be there with her?" Edward looked at me confused.
"No, I don't care about Clara wanting me there. I care about you right now." answered Edward. He took in a deep breath and I saw the nervous look in his eyes once again. What could honestly cause his nerves to go crazy like this? "Bella, I have to tell you something." stated Edward. I knew this was where he would tell me something I didn't want to hear. I wished I could be wrong but how was that going to happen? Edward let out his breath he had been holding during my silence. "Bella, I love you."
What?! I was stunned. He loved me? In what reality could someone like him love someone like me? Was this a dream? My eyes met his and instantly I saw everything I had been seeing before but more. I saw the nervousness and I now saw even better the loving gaze. That was the reason for the light in his eyes. His love was his light. Could it really be possible that that gaze was meant for me?
"You love me?" I repeated questioningly. He nodded.
"Bella, I have loved you since the moment I saw you. I didn't exactly know it at the time but it's true. I've actually got Kristen to thank for that. She had tricked me into realizing how much I loved you. I knew that I cared about you and that I would do anything for you but I had never in my wildest dreams noticed the love I had for you. You are my light, my life, my love, my everything, Bella. I will never love anyone more than I love you. My heart is belongs to you. It's yours. It will never belong to anyone else. No one could ever hold half the attraction you have on me, Bella. I now know that I did all that I did because I loved you and I couldn't bear to see you upset. An angel like you should never be crying. I know that I will never deserve your love but you needed to know how I felt regardless." said Edward. He thought he didn't deserve my love? Didn't he see it was the other way around? I didn't deserve him but he needed to know.
"Edward, it is I that doesn't deserve your love. You are the most honest, kindest, most perfect, gentleman I have ever met. In what universe is it that I deserve your love?" Edward started to talk but I placed my finger on his lips. "But you need to know something. I love you, Edward. I have since the moment I first saw you smile. Your smile always made everything feel alright. The way your eyes light up when you looked at me made my heart fly. My heart belongs to you, Edward. Every part of me belongs to you and no one can ever take your place in my heart. I love you, Edward. I love you more than anything. I would give up anything for you. You make me feel like I'm the most precious thing in the world." I declared, happy tears beginning to form. Edward smiled my favorite smile before adding something of his own.
"You are the most precious thing in the world, especially in my world. You are the most radiant creature on the face of this earth and no one can compare to you in any way." replied Edward, wiping away my tears. I smiled. We both then leaned in. The electricity between us grew stronger as we moved closer to each other. The next thing that happened was a moment that would never be forgotten. His irresistible lips touched mine. In that moment, I felt all the love he had for me. The passion, the fireworks, the things you hear about in love stories, were all there. My heart ran an irregular pattern as we kissed. Pulling away for air, we moved away from each other and stared into each others eyes. His green eyes were sparkling greatly in the night, beating out any star for a better shine. His eyes never looked as beautiful as they had tonight.
"I guess Kristen was right." I stated. Edward sent me a confused look. "She said we'd tell each other we love one another by the end of the month. Today is the end of the month." I explained. He grinned and pulled me into a hug. I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"I guess so." He responded, laughing as I was taking in his honey scent that I loved so dearly. "I love you, Bella Swan." declared Edward. I loved hearing that. I stared into his eyes and grinned.
"As I love you, Edward Anthony Masen." I replied before being pulled into my second real kiss of the evening.
