Chapter 4

"They held my oniichan in captivity" the little one explained, followed by soft sobs, which ended with pathetic wails.

Hakkai and Goku exchanged glances. 'K'so!' Now they are trapped!'

"Who are they?" Hakkai knelt before the little youkai; one hand patting the latter's shoulder. The kid however flinched with pain as his hand landed on his shoulder. The chibi youkai hissed alarmingly and backed away. His eyes brimmed with shimmering crystal clear tears.

Hakkai sighed. If they were going to approach him, they have to make it slow and easy. Youkai or not, their enemy was still too little to be treated violently. Moreover, despite of the poisonous dagger that he owned, the little youkai looked obviously harmless. The man with the monocle raised his eyes and gazed at the little youkai. Slowly, his lips curled and he ended up smiling warmly. His smile, like usual, worked on comforting the little one. Everyone could fall for Hakkai's smile and the young youkai was not excused. His breathless sobs had slowed down to faint whimpers.

"What's your name?" the voice came out soft and tender, more to please than to threaten. Hakkai's emerald eyes met with the little youkai's gray.

The kid ceased whimpering and looked up to Hakkai's face. After a moment of studying the elder man's face, he turned his gaze away, looking at something in the distant land.

"Raiken" he answered and returned his gaze at Hakkai's soothing face. A thin curl appeared in between the bluish lips. Hakkai was flattered. How innocent could a child be? Like the one standing before him; easily be baited with a generous smile.

Hakkai smiled. "Raiken…can you tell us who captured your brother?" he demanded for explanation though he expected less from a little youkai like Raiken. What would a five year old know?

Raiken shook his head frantically. Green hair swayed freely above his shoulder, keeping to the tempo of his head's movement. His eyes widened with fear as if talking would cost him something he could not bear. He tried to get away but Goku's grip never left his wrist and he was yanked back by the brown haired itan.

"Please Raiken… a man's life depends on your answer" Hakkai almost pled. They're running out of time and he had no time to carry on with the sweet talk. Gojyo's condition would get worse if he doesn't think of something.

Raiken stammered. He looked at Hakkai with disbelief and suddenly gulped nervously. "Is this man you're talking about has red hair?" he inquired. Beads of cold sweats started to emerge on his forehead.

Hakkai and Goku were astounded. They exchanged glances and then their gaze fell down to the green haired youkai, who stood bewilderedly at their faces. Hakkai nodded and said, "He's our friend"

The wind blew and brushed the green locks off his face. Raiken lowered his gaze and sobbed again, as if he had made a terrible mistake. A typical child he was, solving problems by crying and shedding tears, which often made adult felt rather threatened. Hakkai was confirmed him crying was the thing that had weakened Gojyo last night; for his weakness were tears of women and children.

"I don't mean to kill him…they made me do it and threatened to kill oniichan if I disobeyed their orders" Raiken explained as his sobs bobbed up and down in between his breath. They gave him no choice but to kill. They needed his skill to poison the red haired man because a tree youkai's poison was the deadliest poison among other poisons in Genkai. Tree youkais were expertise in mixing the deadly plants and herbs of the nature to form lethal poisons that would bring fatal impact to the victims. Being part of the nature, they were not only skillful in making lethal poison but also the cure.

Despite of the highly competence in producing weapons and cure from Mother Earth's gift, tree youkais were always a peaceful creature. They wouldn't use their poison to hurt other being since they used it only in hunting. Other than hunting; which was the only barbaric act others would say they did; tree youkais preferred to remain passive. Tree youkais were easily recognized by their green hair, a criterion that enabled them to camouflage among the leaves up on the trees.

Hakkai was speechless. Now he knew why Gojyo was defeated. It was possible that the hanyou let the little demon poisoned him of empathy. Gojyo was too sensitive on brotherhood, the only thing that he will take seriously other than his friends and women's cries.

"I don't want to kill him…" Raiken sobbed pathetically. His shoulders shook violently as he tried to hold back the streaming tears. "When I came back here to check on him…he's already gone" the next sentence came in somewhere in between the restless sobs.

"Why you'd come back?" asked Goku. Seeing the little one cried made his heart ached. The innocence in him seemed to battle hard with the rage, which had probably a hint of the emergence of Seiten Taisen.

Raiken rubbed his teary eyes with the back of his palm. His face had turned somewhat blue because the lack of oxygen from his continuous sobs. "He's not my enemy…I don't want to kill him, I just want oniichan to be safe" he explained faintly.

"We'll help you save your brother and then can you please help us with the cure?" Hakkai was being impatient. His mind had made way to a string of images of Gojyo fighting his death on the bed, stirring in a pool of blood. Hakkai shook his head. This was not the time for Gonou to arouse into the open. He didn't need Gonou in this time being, he had to think rationally. Gonou would only made things worse since Gonou never think before he leaps.

"Honto ni?" Raiken beamed up to Hakkai. Hope rose in his childish face. But then, his glimmering eyes lost it shines as he hunched his shoulders and sighed. Hakkai flinched at the sight. 'That is not a good sign'

"Demo…I only know how to mix the poison, not the cure" Raiken's answer made Hakkai and Goku disheartened. They had lost their only hope. "But…"Raiken could sense the tense in the two men standing before him. Hakkai and Goku looked down to Raiken, waiting for the next words.

"Oniichan knew how to mix the cure"Raiken smiled heartily. He was too young to inherit the entire knowledge of his people but his brother was not. Raishou knew almost all the remedy for any cure and any poison. Their father had taught him well.

"Yukatta!" Goku lightened up and released the young youkai's wrist. "Now, let's go and save your brother" he wrapped a protective arm around Raiken's shoulder and smiled down to the little one.

Raiken smiled and the innocence Hakkai found in that smile made him think of Goku. A child with the power so lethal yet possessed such innocence that could melt any enemies' heart. The emerald-eyed youkai trailed the two young youkais as they walked to the awaiting jippu.

'Gojyo…hang on' he prayed silently. 'We'll save you…'

………………………….

He snapped his eyes opened and flinched at the stabbing pain that pricked through his eyelids as soon as rays of light shone upon him. Propping on one elbow, he rose up and lied on his side. Gojyo protected his eyes from the light with his arms and peeked from under it.

"Nani to?" he hissed and sat upright. He thought he heard Hakkai's voice. His chest pounded with pain and he stooped forward, bracing himself some more. As soon as the pain ceased, Gojyo looked around him. He was floating in an empty space, dark and cold. The only source of light came from somewhere before him, from a breach in the black hollow wall.

"Ah! Where's the hell am I?" Gojyo asked, more to himself than to anyone. He tried recalling the thing happened before he came to the empty space. He remembered drinking and gambling in the inn, daring Goku to drink a whole glass of sake without Sanzo's permission. He remembered going out of the bar and strolled around the town, looking for hot chicks. He remembered making his way to the red flowers meadow of where they had stopped to allow jippu a rest. He remembered meeting a little tree youkai crying in the middle of the red meadow and he remembered that that was where everything had started.

Gojyo could clearly picture the cries of the young one, sobbing his heart out and groaning out of sorrow. As usual, his soft heart melted at seeing the cries. Young ones cries always worked on him as good as women's cries. Not long after he sat down next to the young youkai and put his arms around his shoulder, asking him his problem, he was attacked by a group of war-like youkais.

Feared of the little one's life might be in danger, he shielded him with his shaku jou but before he could even fight, he felt something sharp pierced the back of his neck and his body felt numb at instant. He reached out for his neck and came in contact with a dart, sticking out of his flesh. Pulling the dart off, he turned around and studied the young youkai's figure. The boy held a bamboo shoot in his hand, looking up at him with dreary eyes."Gomen…" he remembered the last word whispered by the young youkai before the war-like youkai swarmed on him like hungry hyenas. He outlasted them somehow, though he could barely stand, and staggered his way back to the inn. He had kicked the door opened, and remembered seeing his comrades panicking. He fell in Hakkai's arms and the last thing he remembered was Sanzo crouching him to the bed.

"Damn it Gojyo! Don't you dare die on me!!" that what he last heard from Sanzo before he dozed off and ended up in this place, a place he didn't know where. Have he died? If he had, would this be…hell? No! It can't be! Hell was supposed to be fiery…well, that was what he heard people saying. This is definitely no Heaven. He was not sure he was an eligible candidate for a position in heaven. He doubted his comrades would be. They were the last choice for the Gods to fill the Heaven. After all, Heaven was supposed to be beautiful…he heard that from people's talking too.

Darn! Have he ever knew anything by himself and not by other's people talking? Now he envied Hakkai for knowing lots of thing by just reading books. Ch! He hated books! They made him sick! But at least he should read something on Heaven and Hell then he didn't have to worry on where he was right now. Was he worried? Gojyo scrambled to his feet. He toiled to stand up since his body ached everywhere and demanded for him to just lie down and sleep. He fought the urge and took his time to stand up. If he was dead, he was not going anywhere. Taking a step was another torment that he had to endure. He half-dragged his feet and started walking into the direction of the light.

Minutes passed by and he felt like it was hours of tortures. He kept dragging himself, stumbling down to his feet, rising up and started walking again. But he reached no end. Everything was just plain dark and empty. No sign of anything. The light seemed to move away from him, getting further and further every time he tried reaching for it. The dark abyss was pointless, no ends. Gojyo fell to his knees, losing all the energy to and the courage to keep moving on. He was as helpless as he was years ago, when he was just a child of eight.

This is it? Would it end just the way it started? I would end up being alone just like before? Will there be no one to lend me a shoulder to cry on? Will there be no one to hug me when I'm cold at night? No one to tell me everything is going to be all right when I'm scared? No one to say I cared for you and you'll ever be alone? Will it just be only me, me and myself? No other?

Gojyo felt pathetic, a loser he was. He was a hopeless damn spoiled brat who always troubled his stepmother. He was a half-breed, an offspring of a forbidden relationship between human and youkai. He was an infant from dirty blood. He belonged to nobody. He was nothing. Not a human, not a youkai…he was nothing at all.

Tears streamed down his cheeks. He felt it hot and steaming that it burnt his face. He had stopped crying long ago and now he had started all over again. He had forgotten how crying would feel like and he didn't like it. Why tears hurt?

Is it always like this? If then, why some people cried when they're happy. If it would hurt, why do they choose to cry to cherish something they treasured so much? He knew he was not happy. Not at this moment. Gathering his knees to his torso, he wrapped his arms around them and buried his face onto his cradle. He rocked back and forth, slowly and then convulsively. Soft moans escaped his dried lips and it bobbed up and down in between the pathetic wails.

How could he be so weak at this time? Why couldn't he stand up and fight like before? What's the use? He was dead anyway. There's no way he could find a way back to real life when he was trapped in the world of the dead.

Well...at least he had a found a place where the type of blood was not important. Why would dead people care for what you are? If I'm really in hell, people were busy attending to their punishment that they didn't have time to care for other's hair color. 'My hair color' and that comes with a stress on the word my.

'Better surrender' came the voice from the back of his head. "Why?" he asked.

'There's no point for you to return there…you belonged to no one' Gojyo shook his head, shoving the voice away from his head.

"No! I have my friends…"

'Friends? That's what you called friend?' it started to laugh menacingly. 'Was it a friend to point a gun at your head when you started to talk? Was it a friend that disturbed you days and night and not letting you have a day of peace?

"Hakkai had never mistreated me" he tried to defend his fellow comrades. He knew well who were the voice was referring to. But he never despised them for what they did. Sanzo could be mean sometime but he could also be softhearted at times. Goku…he's just being playful, a kid he was.

'Don't deny me! You know I'm right' the voice refused to leave. 'They would just leave you alone when it rains…even Hakkai' Gojyo gulped. His heart pumped faster than ever. The voice was right. Often he ended up being alone when it rained. Sanzo would turn moody out of a sudden and Hakkai was no better. Goku on the other hand never had the mood to do anything since his sun didn't shine when it rained.

"No…it's not true" Gojyo became weaker. He had no more strength to fight the voice. His voice had turned slow and frail.

'Just surrender yourself to death and you'll never be alone' the voice had found his triumph when Gojyo unconsciously nodded. He lied down on the floor…or rather nothing. Lying on his side, he curled up and wrapped his arms around his body. Gojyo closed his eyes. The red orbs set.

"Gomen minna-san" he whispered in between his breath and forfeited. He gave up on breathing and let his breath sank down to his lungs. He made no effort to encourage his heart to beat normally, for his blood to keep on running via his arteries and veins, for his brain to send neurons to his body systems and for his senses to work; worst he urged them to stop. "I couldn't go with you guys anymore"

"Damn it Gojyo!"

Suddenly he heard a voice, a very familiar voice. Gojyo cracked his eyes opened and stared at nothing before him. He urged his ears to listen intently. Was it a dream or it was really him?

"Was death the only way to run away from your fear?"

He heard him again. It is him all right. Wasting no more time, Gojyo sat upright and looked around him. There's no one. So, where did the voice comes from?

"If you really want to die…then get up and let me shoot you in the head"

Nani? You want to kill me? Are you crazy? Ch! You wouldn't let me die if it's not with your own hands eh bouzu? Damn it! Show yourself! Let me know I had the chance to survive this whole crap and I'll get up and give you a good square punch on the face you corrupted namaguza bouzu!!

"Kono baka kappa! Give up now and I'll blast your head into pieces!"

Shit! Where's the hell this guy learn the skill to threaten people? Give up now? Does that mean I'm still alive somewhere in the real world? Giving up means I'm still breathing, though shallowly. So, that was it. This is not the land of the dead. This is what was between the two worlds, an empty space for dying people. It was a space for them to wait and choose their path but which path to choose and where to begin?

……………………..

Sanzo sighed with relief. He let go off Gojyo's shoulders and hunched. That was a good tight grip. Gojyo's shoulders were a mass of bruises. Even his hands still shook with nervousness. He looked over his shoulder and studied Gojyo's laying figure. His breath had turned even and normal, though he could still hear the hissing sound of pain.

A moment ago he was shaking Gojyo's shoulders violently, shouting and screaming to his face. He had slapped the hanyou's face and threatened to shoot his head into pieces of flesh. Why? Because that damn half-breed had stopped breathing for almost a full couple of minutes. It's not the first time though. That bloody kappa had done the same thing twice since they were attacked by the war-like youkais.

"Baka yarou!" he cursed again.

Cursing was synonym to him and it was curses that woke Gojyo up from death. He was sure of it. The hanyou won't die if he could not return the curse to his face. It was just like their encounter with Chin Isou, the leader of the youkai clan that Hakkai had slaughtered years ago. It was when Gojyo had a growing seed in his heart and he had to put shoureijuu in a good use and shot the hanyou's chest to eliminate the evil device.

"If he's weak, then better for him to die" he said and pointed shoureijuu to the kappa's chest, aiming for the heart.

"Ch! I wouldn't die easily you corrupted monk…" Gojyo fought back with a gnashing teeth and sweaty forehead. Unfortunately he had Goku clasping to his shoulders or else Sanzo was sure the red headed would scrammed up on him.

The shoureijuu blasted and Hakkai set work on healing Gojyo's 'bypass surgery' wound with his ki.

That kappa will survive if he kept cursing to his face. However, he knew it wouldn't be for long until the poison flooded his system, until Gojyo was too weak to fight back. But before the time comes, he would just continue on cursing; the only skill he had in attending anyone even the broken ones, and hoping that Hakkai and Goku would find the cure.

Sanzo clasped his hands and propped his head. Slowly, he sled from the bed and descended to the floor. Leaning his back against the bedside, he sighed. His body was utterly overpowered by fatigue. The muscles ached and his head had grown a little light headed.

The sun was descending to the horizon in the west since the last time he took charge of nursing Gojyo. Dokugakuji had fallen asleep while he was on guard. Damn brothers! Why do they have to be from the same gene? Gojyo always fell asleep when he was on guard and he had to execute a punishment to put him awake.

Usually a blast from the shoureijuu would do perfect.

He ran his fingers through the golden strands and closed his eyes for a brief moment of silence. Yet, he cracked his eyes opened and forced himself to get out of the wobbly state of his body. The dawn breeze blew in faintly through the wide opened window. The sky had glimmering rays of afterglows, painting the whole land with golden color of nature. It's going to be dark soon and Hakkai and Goku hadn't returned with the cure. 'What's taking them so long?'

Knowing Hakkai, who had shared the same house with Gojyo for the past three years, Sanzo was aware the dark haired won't let the hanyou man died. Three years were a good amount of time to build up a strong bond between the two. Hakkai would find the cure somehow, by hook or by crook.

He abruptly turned his head to his back when the broken man on the bed gave out to another loud agonizing cry. Wasn't he was in the same condition with Gojyo on the night after the encounter with the fake Sanzo, the disciple of Unako Sanzo? Sanzo felt like punching the kappa's face and quieted him for good. But then, he wouldn't know if the man was still breathing or the other way around. Hearing Gojyo screaming and moaning with pain were the only sign he was still alive even though not kicking.

"Shut your cake hole, you dumbass!" he shouted with unexplainable rage. Was he irritated by listening to Gojyo's scream? Or was he irritated of himself for not being able to do something to help lessen the pain?

Sanzo leaned the back of his head on the bedside, almost touching Gojyo's feeble arm. He knew it was ridiculous but his stomach growled violently. He wouldn't give it a damn if it was Goku's but this was his stomach, rumbling desperately for food.

Sanzo hissed with disgust. When was the last time he ate anything? He hadn't had the chance to even take a bite on today's breakfast and since that he never touched any food at all. But believed it or not, he hadn't had the appetite. He had had a good taste of blood but nothing else. His tongue had turned completely bitter. Blamed it on the kappa! Even more, he had a very demanding desire for nicotine. Nicely done kappa! You made me stopped smoking and not eating. I'll kill you for that! His hands itched for the harisen but who was there to whack? Goku was not here and Gojyo…he doubted if the kappa would survive a single whack.

"Better give yourself a rest bouzu…you looked like a mess" out of the blue, Dokugakuji opened his mouth, much to Sanzo's surprise. He thought the man was asleep. Shit! He must have been pretending all those time.

"None of your friggin' business!" he snapped back and retired into a pretender's sleep. He had not the strength to shoot or whack the sturdy youkai's head. Now that the youkai was not sleeping, he could finally take a rest though he was sure he would get none.

Dokugakuji replied the curse with a retiring humph. He knew he shouldn't say anything to the monk about getting a rest. It would turn out the same as Kou's reply. These leaders, why do they have to be so hard headed? He was rather thankful though. Sanzo had not stopped attending Gojyo since he came in. The monk sat devotedly at Gojyo's bedside, cursing his half-breed brother to snap out of his dying state and urging him for a fight. What a strange way to encourage someone to live? But knowing Gojyo, he knew it would work. Gojyo was too ego to lose himself over unforgiving curses and challenges, especially from the monk.

Suddenly, the room turned quiet, too quiet and too serene. Something was wrong; something was definitely wrong. This room was not supposed to be quiet with a moaning man around. You ought to hear wailings of pain and cries of agony. They heard none.

Sanzo cracked his eyes opened. The silence was too weird that he could not allow himself not to fuss over it. He turned over to Gojyo and gasped at seeing the kappa had stopped wailing for good. Serenity fell on his white pale face. He seemed to be asleep; sleeping in the real meaning of sleep. Sanzo and Dokugakuji exchanged glances. Was that a good sign? That the wounded man had already fallen asleep with no sign of pain?

……………………

"Search for the light"

Suddenly a soft sweet voice swept by his ears. Gojyo turned around and saw a lady in white. Her raven black hair flailed gently even though there's no wind blowing upon her. The white gown dropped loose over his slender figure. She was beautiful and charming, yet it was not the same beauty of women he had met before. This beauty was different. He loved it; not sexually. This was different, totally different. Her sheer red lips curled up into a comforting smile. Her brown eyes glimmered at him. He was pleased having her with him, but why?

Gojyo stared at her and found the courage to say something. "Who are you?"

The lady in white smiled sweetly.

"Gojyo…I'm your mother"

TBC