Chapter four: The Neighbors
(Bedroom)
If Dingodile wasn't a part of it, he wouldn't have believed it. But there he was, standing in front of three actual ghosts. These guys called themselves exterminators, and that confused Dingodile as to why they would track their own kind.
The hybrid needed to make sure that he had the right guys. "Alright, let me get this straight. You guys are…Ghost exterminators?" He asked.
"That's right, mac." The muscled ghost replied. "The Spirit Squad. I'm Biff Atlas."
"I'm Slim Bankshot." The lanky ghost replied.
"And my name is Shivers." The third ghost finished.
"If they're haunting, WE'RE hunting!" Biff concluded.
"Um…You look like ghosts, too." Tiny noticed, still a little frightened.
"Well, what did you expect? Certainly we're ghosts!" Biff laughed. "It takes one to catch one, ya know."
"Expect in our case, it takes three." Slim joked. "Heh heh heh."
"Wow! Real ghost-ghost hunters!" Coco said in amazement. "This is so cool!"
"Well, Ah appreciate the offer, guys." Dingodile said. "But Ah think we can handle it. Ah think we have enough ghosts hanging around here to begin with."
"Hey. You called us, didn't you?" Biff quizzed. "That tells us that you have an infestation that needs to be taken care of."
"Well…Ah…Uh…" Dingodile stammered.
"You're still not convinced? Ya say ya need some more convincing? Okay." Biff said as he turned to his cohorts. "Hey, Slim. Gimmie the demonstrator."
"Most certainly!" Slim nodded as he turned to Shivers. "Shivers, the demonstrator."
"The demonstrator! Right!" Shivers said as he pulled a sack from out of nowhere and started pulling out random objects such as skulls, baseball bats and spiked balls. "Uh…I can't find it, Biff."
"Whaddya mean, you can't find it?" Biff asked. "Gimmie that bag!"
Biff reached out and grabbed the sack Shivers was holding, but to do so, he had to reach straight through Slim's midsection.
Unfortunately, Slim was extremely ticklish. The instant Biff's hand went through his body, Slim started laughing uncontrollably. Through his laughter, he managed to get his request out. "Don't do that!" He cried.
Biff pulled the sack through Slim's body and narrowed his eyes. "Shaddap." He said as he whacked Slim over the head with the sack, burying the lanky ghost's head between his shoulders.
Seeing Slim in peril, Shivers silently reach between the lanky ghost's shoulders and pulled his head back up.
"Now let's see…Where IS that thing?" Biff asked, diving into the sack and throwing out more random objects.
"These guys remind me of some people from a long time ago, but I can't quite put my finger on it." Coco whispered.
"Ah know. It feels so weird that Ah can't come up with the names." Dingodile agreed.
"Ah! Here it is!" Biff said, climbing out of the sack with a wind-up ghost. The muscled ghost then started winding up the key. "A demonstrator ghost. Now you'll see the Spirit Squad in action."
Biff placed the ghost in front of Dingodile's face, where it stayed afloat in midair. However, once biff let go, it sprang to life. "BOO!" The dummy screamed, scaring Dingodile and making him jump away.
With that, the demonstrator started flying around the room at high speeds, as if no one was able to catch it.
Biff smirked. "Okay, Spirit Squad! Grab that ghost!" He ordered.
"Aye aye, Biff!" Slim and Shivers said as one.
However, the demonstrator flew past them. Shivers did a double-take and looked at it, but accidentally sent his head through Slim's body, resulting in another round of hysteric laughter from the lanky ghost.
"Don't! Don't do that!" Slim begged.
Shivers quickly pulled his head from the other ghost's body. "Sorry about that, Slim." He said.
All three members of the Spirit Squad flew after the demonstrator, trying to catch it. However, they were flying at eye-level and weren't paying attention to where they were going, which meant that Dingodile, Tiny and Coco all had to jump out of the way several times to avoid getting hit.
In the process of trying to catch the demonstrator, the ghosts flew into one of the curtains on the bed, knocking it off. The ghosts kept on flying, but the curtain landed directly on top of Tiny's head. The huge feline, whom was afraid of the dark, screamed in terror as he tried to find his way out of the curtain. However, while he was doing so, he blindly ran forward, unknowingly heading straight for Dingodile.
"Tiny, stop! Tiny!" Dingodile said, but it was no use. Tiny ran straight into his best friend and continued running, pushing Dingodile along with him. Coco had been lucky enough to dive out of the way in time, and could only watch as Dingodile was getting pushed towards the closed door leading out into the hallway.
Wily chose that time to open the door to the bedroom. "What IS all of the noise coming from up here?" The old butler asked. The demonstrator ghost suddenly flew past him. "Huh? What was that?"
Suddenly, the Spirit Squad flew past the butler as well, causing Wily to spin around wildly. Wily was able to stop himself, but didn't have time to avoid Tiny running into him, carrying Wily out the door with Dingodile.
"The night's only just begun and already I can tell that this is going to be the most hectic night of our lives." Coco mused as she ran out the door to give chase.
Tiny ran down the hallway and ended up at the staircase, where he tripped and landed on the banister, sliding down headfirst with Dingodile and Wily now on his back. The two reluctant riders suddenly saw the post at the bottom of the stairs and panicked.
"Ah suggest you hold on, Wily!" Dingodile suggested.
"Somehow, I don't believe it's going to help!" Wily replied.
Unfortunately, Wily was right. Tiny slid into the post headfirst. This stopped the huge tiger, but it sent Dingodile and Wily flying into the air, sending them at the chandelier hanging in the middle of the main foyer. The two, acting on instinct, grabbed hold of the chandelier, even though that wasn't a very smart move.
This was proven as the chandelier started pulling itself from the ceiling underneath the combined weight of the hybrid and the butler. The chandelier fell from the ceiling and fell straight into the wooden floor.
"Oww…That smarts…" Tiny said as he poked his head out of the curtain and rubbed his head.
Donkey Kong suddenly walked into view and sympathetically patted Tiny's head. "Aww…" The huge ape said. "Poor kitty…"
Tiny's eyes widened as he looked up, straight into Donkey Kong's face. Tiny screamed again, leapt into the air and took off, flying out of the curtain at the same time.
"Big ape! Big ape!" Tiny screamed as he flew past the wreckage of the chandelier. Once he did, Dingodile and Wily climbed out of the wreck and stood up. They looked ahead and saw Donkey Kong approaching, although he was mainly chasing after Tiny.
"Oh, no!" Both Dingodile and Wily cried at the same time. They both screamed as they took off running after Tiny.
"Wait fer us, Tiny!" Dingodile cried.
The Spirit Squad, in the meantime, was still chasing down the demonstrator. Biff was holding a mallet and pulled it back to slam it down and crush the demonstrator, but all he did was hit Slim in the head several times when he pulled it back.
Coco was standing by the door and was watching as everyone ran past. "And they're off! It's Tiny by a head! Dingodile, Wily, the ape and the Spirit Squad are bringing up the rear!" The female bandicoot said like a horse-race announcer. "Going around the clubhouse turn, it's Tiny still in the lead!"
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Coco, standing in front of the front door, was the one to answer it, as everyone else was still in the middle of their huge chase.
Standing just outside was a female human with blonde hair and a couple of antennae-like bangs slicked back. She was clad in a red top and a pair of denim shorts and was holding a mug in her hand.
"Hi!" Coco greeted.
"Hey, there! I'm Larxene and I'm your new neighbor around these parts!" The girl greeted. "I was just wondering if I could borrow a cup of black molasses."
The demonstrator ghost, in the meantime, had arrived at an old record player and started playing music on it. This cause the Spirit Squad to stop their chase and start dancing along.
"Oh! You're all having a party?" Larxene asked.
Coco shrugged. "Looks like it. Come on in." She said, trying to be as friendly as possible.
Larxene suddenly saw Dingodile running by and stepped in. "Mind if I cut in?" She asked as she took Dingodile's hands and started dancing, although it looked more like she was dragging him around more than dancing.
Coco saw the look in Larxene's eyes and, in all honestly, didn't like it. She looked like the kind of girl that would go after a man if she thought he was cute enough, and seeing the look in her eyes around Dingodile made Coco almost wish she didn't invite her in.
"She'd better not try anything on him." Coco muttered.
Donkey Kong, in the meantime, had cornered Tiny. "Let's boogie!" The huge ape said, attempting to take Tiny's hands and start dancing.
Tiny did the only thing he could think of, and that was run around the huge ape and run at Wily.
Donkey Kong approached the two an attempted to grab Tiny again, but the huge feline avoided it and caused the huge ape to grab Wily instead. Donkey Kong didn't seem to notice that he had made a mistake and started dancing with Wily, holding the old butler off the ground.
Tiny took this chance to slink away, but before he could get very far, Slim appeared, took his hands and started dancing with him.
"You're a pretty good dancer, pal." Slim said.
Tiny, still not used to the fact that the Spirit Squad were on his side, screamed, broke away from Slim and ran off.
Larxene was still 'dancing' with Dingodile, although that had turned more into throwing him around, holding onto one of his arms the entire time. However, she accidentally let go of Dingodile's arm, sending the hybrid flying straight out the front door.
"Whoops! Looks like I got a little too carried away!" Larxene said as she ran out to see if Dingodile was alright.
Outside, Larxene looked around for Dingodile, but didn't see any sign of him. "Yoo-hoo! Where are ya, cutie-pie?" She asked.
Dingodile was standing at the side of the house, dusting himself off, when he heard Larxene call for him. Not really liking where she was going, Dingodile attempted to dive into a bush to hide, and he would have had a black-haired man with an eyepatch not rise from it with a gun in his hands.
"What're ya doing trespassing on these parts?" The man asked.
Dingodile struggled to reply, but Larxene came over and gave the reply for him. "Aw, he isn't trespassing, Xigbar. He's our new neighbor that moved into the Koopa Mansion! Oh, isn't he just cute?" She asked.
Dingodile, although feeling uneasy at the sound of Larxene calling him 'cute', nodded. "Yeah. Ya see, Ah inherited the place from mah uncle." He replied.
Xigbar's good eye widened. "Your uncle? You mean that you're a Koopa?" He asked. "My family's worst enemy? Your part of the same clan my clan's been fighting for a hundred and forty-five years?"
"Well…Ya see…I'm not…Um…" Dingodile stammered, not liking where this was going. "Well, it's nice ta meet ya, anyway."
Xigbar place two fingers into his mouth and whistled. "Hey, boys! We've got us another Koopa!" He called out.
"KOOPA?" Eleven voices called from the woods as gunshots rang out from all directions.
Dingodile screamed and ran back towards the front door to the mansion. However, the instant he was in front of the front door, Dingodile saw his uncle's ghost blocking his path.
"Leave this place!" Bowser warned once again. "Leave this place!"
"Oh, how Ah wish Ah could." Dingodile whimpered. He looked down at the front yard and saw Xigbar taking aim with his gun. Dingodile screamed and ran into the mansion again.
Larxene wrestled the gun from out of Xigbar's hands. "You stop that, brother!" She ordered.
"But he's a Koopa!" Xigbar insisted.
"I don't care!" Larxene replied. "I think he's just darling! In fact, I intend to marry up with him!"
"WHAT?" Xigbar shouted. "My little sister getting hitched to a Koopa? As if!"
Larxene's eyes flared up. "Just try and stop me!"
With that, Larxene took Xigbar's gun and wrapped it around his neck, tying the two ends in a knot.
"Aw, for crying out loud!" Xigbar said. "Why the heck did you have to take that darn mail-in muscle course?
To be continued…
Larxene (Kingdom Hearts) is playing Sadie May's role
Xigbar (Kingdom Hearts) is playing Billy Bob's role
The rest of Organization XIII played the other gunmen (and like Link, that was the last time they'll appear)
