Hi! So I realized I never finished telling you all about my date with Jon. I can't tell you how amazing he is; I mean I told him about my illness and instead of running for the hills, he actually told me I should be proud of myself. I'm still smiling over it; the rest of the date was, well I'll just tell you about it! Sometimes, when I'm out in public; I feel like there is a big, flashing neon sign over my head that says "Crazy". I wonder if people can tell that I'm not like them; that I'm different. As we entered the beautiful Italian restruant, at first I was feeling self-conscious; but Jon had my hand in his and soon I started to notice people looking at me. Not in a negative way, or a judgemental way; but in more of an envious way. Some of the women in the restrurant looked at me because I was with Jon; I guess they must have thought he was attractive to and were jealous because I was with him and they weren't. I can't lie to you; I felt pretty good about that, it was not something I was used to, but it was wonderful. I was smiling at the table when the waitress came over. She started to flirt with Jon and was not being subtle about it; Jon smiled and was polite, but he didn't make any attempt to flirt back. In fact, he made me the center of attention.

"Jessica was it? My date here loves Italian food and doesn't get out very much. What is the best dish on your menu? I want her to try the most mind-blowing dish you have, so that she will remember it and this date for a very long time." Jon had the most serious expression on his face; he really wanted this waitress to know that I was with him, and he wanted her to make sure I was happy. I kind of felt like Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman'; you know the scene where she goes back to that snooty store and gives them the riot act for being rude to her earlier? I felt like that. Even if the food had been awful and she had hopped in his lap right in front of me; at that moment I felt like the most important person in that place.

"Of course," Jessica gave me a pleasant smile. "I would suggest the Tortellini with Peas and Prosciutto, it is excellent. It actually won our chef an award. If that didn't sound like something you would be interested in, our special tonight is a Roasted Cauliflower Risotto; it has an amazing garlic sauce in it." I happened to glimpse at Jon who winked at me. I smiled back at him before turning my attention to back to Jessica our waitress.

"I am going to try that Tortellini with Peas and Prosciutto, thank you." I smiled.

"I think that sounds pretty good; so I'm going to have the same. If we could also get a bottle of red wine, whatever you would suggest is fine; that would be great. Thanks." Jon was talking to her but looking at me. That had never happened to me before; no one, especially a man, had ever put her before anything. No one had ever made her the important person. "Sam, are you ok?" Jon's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked at the man across from her and noticed just how blue his eyes were. "Sam?"

"Sorry Jon; you know, I'm not sorry, let me explain though." I smiled. "I was just thinking about how good it felt to be put first for once; to feel important. I haven't had a lot of that in my life; and now a person who is really just getting to know me, just made me feel that way. Thank you for that and well just now when I spaced off again; I was admiring your eyes actually. They are the most amazing shade of blue!" This time I got to see part of a blush on Jon; although I'm sure if I had said something to him, he would have denied it. "I know you read the part in my journal about me thinking you were sexy; I do, I think you're very sexy. I apologize for a lot of stuff, most of it is stuff I shouldn't have to apologize for, and I'm not going to do that anymore." I can't help but bite my bottom lip; it was hard and exciting to stick up for myself. I realized that what Jon had said in the truck was right; I should stop letting the whispering and rumors about me dictate so much about my life. My thought was interrupted when our food arrived. The food was amazing, the wine was excellent; but the company was better than anything else.

"So I feel like I have you at a disadvantage Sam…you showed me your journal and told me about your illness and you've told me you think I'm sexy; which I can't disagree with, I am." Jon laughed, I'm guessing because I was making a face at him. "I know what it's like to have a crappy childhood. My dad bailed when I was like 4 or 5, I can't even really remember how old I was. My mom she was an alcoholic, then got into drugs. To feed her habit, she sold herself; I was a young kid and there were these scumbag guys who would come over and have sex with her and toss her a few bucks. Those were the good guys, Sam; the bad ones beat her up and stole shit. I had to fend for myself; just like you I never felt loved. Here's the difference though; you grew up to be a decent person Sam, you don't even hold a grudge against the people who talk about you. Me, I started drinking; I treated women like garbage. Now, I have stopped drinking so much and women; I have learned to respect the women who respect themselves. What I'm trying to say is, I've got baggage and issues; you don't want to be dragged into that. So that's me." I was amazed that he had opened up so much to me.

"You know what Jon Good; a wise man once told me that I should be proud of how I have come so far and figured things out. I'd say just like me; you were dealt some shitty stuff. Look at the two of us now though; we're both WWE superstars, we've pulled ourselves up. Baggage and Issues; Jon I've never had sex with a serious boyfriend. Hell, I can't keep a serious boyfriend; everything about my illness has made all of that so difficult. So as far as those go; I'd say we're equal there." I grin at him.

"A wise man huh? Probably a little more like a wise ass! Thanks though. So here we are; two messed up people, Sam what would you say if I asked you out?" Jon was getting fidgety, it was a change from his normal swagger and confidence; I thought it was cute.

"Um. We're out right now." I smiled at him, even though I knew that wasn't what he meant.

"This was a 'Thank You' meal; I'm talking about us, like dating…no pressure, we'll just see what happens. What do you think?" Jon looked intently at me.

"I would be open to trying it; it's going to be a challenge for both of us, I think we'd have to really be patient and work at it. I'd date you." I looked up at him and those damn brilliant blue eyes. Jon was smiling at me. I smiled back.

Can you believe it? I'm dating Jon Good! All because I let him out of the closet; but you know maybe my crazy and his crazy balance out. We finished our meal and he brought me back to my hotel room. We stood at my door silently for a few minutes. He asked me if he could kiss me; I wasn't sure at first, I was scared. I told him it was ok. It was more than ok! I was shocked at first, jumped a little; but then it was good. I kissed him back and I don't ever remember feeling this way with anyone else. We made plans to meet in the morning; he is going to take me around town. Then tomorrow night is Friday Night Smackdown, we'll both be there at the taping.