Nikki left Ponch's place around ten, then Ponch sent a text to Jon. When Jon got there it was ten thirty.
"You might as well just stay the night," Ponch suggested with a grin.
"That's what this bag is for," Jon replied dropping his bag on the floor. He then sat down on the couch beside Ponch. "Hey, can we talk for a bit then do whatever crazy thing it is you've got cooked up?" Jon asked.
"Sure," Ponch replied then smiled. "All we were gonna do was play a game," he added. Then set his Xbox control aside.
Jon grinned. "I don't wanna get my butt kicked in Halo again, Ponch," he said.
"Oh…" Ponch made a face. "We can play something else…anyway what's wrong?"
"It's about Nikki…" Jon started.
Ponch looked a little confused. "What about Nikki?" he asked.
"Have you noticed anything about her?"
"She's gorgeous, Jon!"
"Besides that," Jon said irritated.
Ponch just stared at him for a few minutes silently with a blank expression, no words came to mind. He shook his head. He would've said no, but then the look in Jon's eyes told him that wasn't a good enough answer so he decided to think a little harder. Ponch was racking his brain trying to figure out what it is Jon would want to know about Nikkie.
It was beginning to become obvious to Jon that Ponch didn't know, and almost amusing the expression on Ponch's face as he looked so confused. The silence was just making Ponch's mind wander to other places now, and he hated it! So finally he had to say something.
"Jon, I don't know what's going on…she seemed fine when she was here. But I did notice that lately she hasn't been as happy," Ponch informed.
Jon nodded. "Ok, well here's what I know. I talked to Brandi tonight…apparently lately Nikki has started to avoid people. She hasn't been as social as she used to. A lot of it is connected to the fact that he parents have been missing for a while…"
"Oh…" Ponch stared at the floor listening to Jon talk.
"Anyway, Brandi is really concerned, and she was hoping you'd talk to Nikki for her. She can't seem to get through to her. She just doesn't know how to talk about it," Jon asked.
Ponch nodded. "Of course I'll talk to her," he said.
Meanwhile in another part of town
Amber sat next to Brandi in the doctors lounge. Brandi and Amber had to work tonight, Nikki got the night off. Brandi held a cup of coffee in her hands trying to warm them up. She was cold. It was a slow night, so she wasn't sure how long she would be in here. Amber looked at her, she seemed to be in her own little world.
"Are you alright, Brandi?" she asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"You're really quiet," Amber replied.
"I'm sorry, just worried about Nikkie," Brandi admitted.
"Is something wrong? I think this is the first time we've ever worked a shift without her."
"She got the night off, she was with Ponch till ten," Brandi replied.
"Ahh…how's that goin'? She like him?"
"Yeah, they both like each other. I'm not sure how long the relationship will last…"
Amber raised an eye brow then sat down. "What makes you say that?" she asked.
"I don't know, Nikki said that she thinks that Ponch deserves better…but I think Ponch is pretty happy right now…I think it's just Nikkie. So…yeah Nikki might be the one to break it up if they ever break up," Brandi said.
"Wow, that's odd. Nikki's being a little odd…she ok?"
"I don't know if she's ok or not," Brandi snapped, suddenly angry.
Amber was in shock with the reaction she had gotten, "Um…alrighty then…I'm gonna get back to work," she said then got up.
Brandi mentally was beating herself up for snapping at her friend. "I'm sorry, Amber," she apologized.
"It's alright. I'd be upset too if my sister was acting strange and I didn't know why," Amber said then patted Brandi on the shoulder. "Hopefully you'll get this all sorted out," she added. Then walked off.
Brandi slammed her cup of coffee down on the table so hard that it broke. "God I'm not ready for this. I need your help! I need to know what is wrong with my sister, please!" Brandi practically yelled at God. She was upset, and when she was upset that was her best way of praying before she calmed down.
oOoOo
Nikki stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror removing the make up from her face that she had applied earlier. Nikki wished she wasn't all alone, being alone wasn't a good thing for her. She felt very lonely, she wished she was still with Ponch, but she felt like she wasn't good enough for him. Nikki had been telling herself time and time again that she would never be good enough for Ponch. So with that mind set, she figured she might as well stop trying. Being with him tonight was fun, but it hurt.
Nikki had so much fun, but it hurt. She had convinced herself that she wasn't good enough for Ponch, and he deserved better, so it hurt her to have fun with him. Knowing that she might have to leave…she wanted to end her life. She looked in the mirror, and all she saw was a mess.
She wished she looked more like Brandi. Brandi always looked good, even if she was upset. What Nikki never realized was that she was also very beautiful too. She wanted to end all this pain. She wanted her parents back, she wanted more friends so she wouldn't feel so lonely, she wanted to feel more love she wanted more than what she had, but that was because she didn't realize what she did have.
She looked at the counter and saw a knife blade laying out. She knew why it was there. It was there for the same reason it was always there for…it was there for her. She used it in her lowest points, of which strangely enough happened to be every time after coming home from being with friends. She had convinced herself she wasn't good enough…they wouldn't be there for her all the time, she didn't need them…all these thoughts kept running through her mind, and Nikki was in tears.
All this pain she was in she wanted it to stop, her head was beginning to hurt with all the thoughts, and her vision was blurry from the tears. She took the knife blade and lightly sliced it across her skin on her forearm. Very careful on where she was cutting. It felt great, the physical pain to her got her mind off of all the emotional pain. Once she was finished she cleaned up her cuts and bandaged them.
This was only the second time she'd done this, and the second time she'd felt relief. She felt good…she knew she couldn't keep it up for too long, someone would find out and stop her. But she did know that she was coming up with a bigger plan for what she would do, when the right time came…if it got any farther.
