Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, and to her I'll always be indebted. :)

Thanks, Nicki, for being my supa-beta motherficcer. 3 And thanks to you all for the reviews...I got all gleeful when I hit 100. Maybe it's silly to feel validated by them but... I do.


Funerals. There had been a number of them since the bombing, a few of which my parents had attended. When I asked Emmett why he hadn't gone to any of them, he shrugged and explained he preferred to "see and not be seen". He had a cache of these cryptic little answers to a lot of the questions I asked. Once I'd have considered this silly – contrived, even – but now I understood: Emmett was a careful, practical man.

Playing darts at home or making faces during mass… it was difficult sometimes to see my brother as a man. I still remembered Edward and him as crackly voiced adolescents, horsing around and pulling pranks. I thought of Ms. Fiona, Lord rest her, and her neighborhood candy shop. Her senility had kept her from realizing Em and Edward were the repeat offenders behind a year's worth of long winded call-in orders for "foreign candy"… candy that didn't exist. She was silly and sweet and half blind and no one was more repentant than those two when she passed away. Hers was a funeral they had attended, several years ago, and Edward still bought ridiculous amounts of sweets from the shop, nowadays run by her family.

Not surprisingly – in the grand scheme of things - that's where I found Edward one morning. I hadn't any early classes, but the weather was nice enough and I wanted to take my time for once. It had been awhile since I'd spent time in the Botanic Gardens and I knew exactly where I'd sit; soak up a bit of sun…

"Sweets for the sweet," a high-pitched voice garbled as I strolled by the doorway of Ms. Fiona's.

I glanced over, unintentionally slowing.

Edward stood in the shop's doorway, winking at me like a perverted old man. He emptied a handful of something into his mouth.

I grinned. There's nothing quite like seeing the object of one's affections unexpectedly and my stomach fluttered in happy anticipation.

I took a step toward him. "Hey".

He looked me up and down, chewing. "Hey yourself," he replied, his breath fruity and sweet.

"What are you eating?" I teased, considering the urge to lick the sugary smirk off his face.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" His voice was playful and laden with innuendo, but I managed to maintain. He held the door open and motioned me inside.

I brushed past him, inhaling again automatically. He had always smelled so good, fresh and soapy and clean, and a little musky too. I'd found it pleasant when I was younger, but now it was one of the specific things I found attractive.

"Good mornin'," I said, nodding at the plump woman behind the counter. She nodded back, smiling.

"'Mornin', love. What can I get ya?" She asked me, but she was eyeing Edward - quite appreciatively.

I swallowed a giggle and pretended to examine the contents of the glass case below me.

"What do you want, Bella?" Edward asked, standing closer to me than was necessary.

I ignored his flirtatiousness (though I loved it) and shrugged. "I don't know. It's a bit early for sweets, isn't it?"

Apparently it wasn't. He patted his bulging pocket. "I'm all settled. Get something for later."

He leaned even closer so his mouth was inches from my ear. "Something to remember me by."

I grabbed his hand without thinking and looked up, admittedly excited by his cheeky antics.

"You're so bold, " I replied in a low voice, only partly kidding. "You know I needn't any help remembering you later."

He squeezed my hand, his eyes shining and on my mouth. "What d'you want, Bella?"He repeated.

My heart plummeted into my shoes. How could such an uncomfortable feeling be so good at the same time?

I tore my eyes away from him and glanced at the shop keeper, who was looking on in amusement. I closed my eyes, shaking my head; it was all too easy to get caught up in this brazen, gorgeous boy and his sexually charged taunting. Really, he was shameless.

I leaned forward and haphazardly pointed out three candies. "Thanks, "I murmured, adjusting the strap on my bag.

Edward paid the woman and we left the little shop together. "You've class now?"

I shook my head. "Not 'til one. I was headed to the Botanic Gardens actually, when you stopped me."

He nodded slowly, curving his hand around the back of my neck, caressing the skin there. It was an affectionate gesture, even a little possessive, and the rest of me hummed with yearning, to be held that way all over.

We paused at a corner, even though the street was empty and safe to cross.

"Do you want to do something else?" He asked.

I nodded my assent before my brain had even processed what he'd asked. He let go of me and started crossing the street, going in a different direction than the one we'd been traveling.

We chatted aimlessly, bantering and joking, and although I wasn't paying attention where we were going I wasn't surprised when we ended up at the building where the safe house was.

I smiled to myself. Finally. Maybe I was too shy to ask, but that didn't mean I didn't think about it all the time.

He looked over his shoulder as he pushed the door open. "What're you smiling at?"

I followed him in and pulled the door shut. "Just thinkin'".

"About what? Me?" He was razzing me, grabbing my hand as he pulled me up the narrow staircase.

Well, I couldn't disagree.

He unlocked the second door, the one that actually opened into the flat. I dropped my bag on the floor, squinting in the dusty half-light. Unlike the last time I'd been here, it was daytime – yet it was still hard to see due to the hideous green drapes covering the windows.

Edward dropped his keys inside his pocket and reached around me to pull the door shut. I made to move around him as he turned the lock but he placed his hands on either side of me, trapping me. I let him pin me against the door with his body; breathed a little harder when he began kissing along my ear and down my jaw.

"I like when you…" I breathed, not finishing. I was too distracted by feeling.

"When I what?" he whispered, not taking his mouth off of me.

"When you do that, when you…" I wrapped my arms around him and swallowed, trying to think coherently. "When you…whisper...in my ears."

The kisses paused, and I felt him smile against the corner of my mouth before returning to my ear. "I know you do," he said, doing it again.

I smiled lazily, pleased when he finally made it to my mouth and kissed me firmly, pushing my lips apart and tasting like candy. I liked the second our lips touched but I loved when our tongues touched. I thought about it all the time. I loved how Edward's tongue exploring my mouth made me feel, how it stoked what had been smoldering inside of me for days. He wasn't even touching me yet, anywhere other than on my mouth, but I could feel it everywhere: my face, my chest, between my thighs.

I drifted my hands up, skimming my fingers over his face, and he lowered his own hands from the wall, letting them fall down to my waist. He pushed his hips against me, I guess letting me know what was on his mind.

It was on my mind too, so I locked my fingers around the back of his neck and held myself against him, rising instinctively to my toes. He stiffened, all over, kissed me harder, parted my legs with one of his, pushing his thigh into the center of me, intoxicating me with need.

He released me from our kiss and ran his nose across the skin on my neck, smelling me, tasting me, and I loved him, almost painfully. Romantic and day-dreamy, part of me yearned for his affection and devotion to only me, and in that respect I was vulnerable, so scared of disappointment. I had given him too much, too quickly. But when he touched me like this, it was like we were on the same page, we … matched. I was ready to give him all of me, even the parts I tried to protect.

He pulled away abruptly to lead me to the bedroom, and I brought my fingers to my lips, touching them as I waxed nostalgic at the sight of the bed. Edward shut the door and cradled my face sweetly, rubbing my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. He walked me slowly backwards, tempering his kisses and lessening his aggression, seducing me now.

When we got to the bed I sat and leaned over to unzip my boots. I concentrated on removing them, peeling off my socks and then my sweater. I moved to the middle of the bed, shakily fingering the blanket underneath me, watching him kick off his trainers and shrug out of his jacket.

He smiled faintly as he watched me back and then he was beside me, the bed squeaking and shifting under our weight. We fell back and fit our limbs like puzzle pieces, legs tangled and arms embracing.

"Do you want this, Bella?" He asked, hitching my leg over his waist. I felt where he was hard against where I was warmest.

I laughed breathlessly. "You're asking now?"

"I have to," he ran his palm under my shirt, over my belly. He rolled over on to me and propped himself up on his arms.

Impatient, I pulled him down so he was flush against me. "Yes, I want this," I whispered.

He kissed my nose and pushed himself up so that he was kneeling in the space between my legs. He grasped his shirt by its neck and pulled it off, and I ran my fingertips over his skin, appreciating the way he looked now that there was enough light to see.

He unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down, my underwear caught inside. My breath caught and I froze, not expecting to be so exposed so soon, but he covered me with himself, kissing me deep and long, doing to my mouth what he wanted to do to me below.

That's when I felt his fingers inside of me, making me feel good again. I wanted to tell him I loved him… he kissed my ears and my neck and my mouth began to form the words.

The front door slammed, so hard the whole flat shook. I gasped so hard I choked and Edward flew back, yanking his hand away.

"For fook sake, " he snarled. I could hear rowdy, male voices on the other side of the door, a bit too close for comfort.

"Who's that?" I hissed.

"The boys, probably."

Edward threw my pants-with-panties to me while he pulled his shirt on inside-out. I looked frantically around, realizing my backpack was still on the floor in the front room. Brilliant.

Suddenly the bedroom door swung open, barely giving me enough time to cover my lap with my pants.

Edward was already across the room. "Can't ya feckin' knock?!" He roared, holding the door.

"Jaysus, Cullen, who ye got in there?" The voice laughed.

I finally succeeded in getting my clothing back on and stood awkwardly next to the bed, my heart hammering in my chest.

"None of your business. What're ya doing here?" Edward replied, keeping the door open a crack so he could see whoever he was talking to.

"Emmett's on his way up. Wanted to discuss Derry."

My eyes near bugged out of their sockets. There was only one way out of this bloody flat and my brother was about to come through it. Edward glanced back at me and shut the door.

"Well this is shite," he grumbled, raking his hands through his hair.

I sighed. "Forget it. I should just…go. If Em sees me, well, he sees me. We said we'd tell him –"

"That we'd be going out, not going at it," Edward interrupted.

My heart sank and I stared at him, wondering if he was changing his mind. I shoved past him and out into the front room, where three guys I recognized from the neighborhood were standing around.

They all gaped at me, most likely because they recognized me. Mortified, I smiled weakly, intent on getting out as quickly as possible. Edward snatched my bag off the floor and was about to open the front door, when one of the boys flicked his shoulder.

"Emmett is going to feckin' murder ya," he chuckled. On cue Emmett strolled in, flanked by two other guys.

He stopped in his tracks, frowning in confusion when he saw me.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" His eyes darted back and forth between Edward and me. The boys stopped their snickering, all eyes on us.

"I have to get to class, Em. Excuse me," I blurted, swiping my bag from Edward and sliding past him into the hall. Em followed me out, grabbing me before I could get very far.

"Tell me this isn't what it looks like," he pleaded, looking pained.

I glared at my shoes, my head now pulsing with a headache. Edward stepped out, shutting the door behind him. I sighed; I just knew those apes were probably all listening right on the other side.

He cleared his throat. "Emmett-"

Em held his hand up. "Just…shut up. I can't believe I trusted you with her. What were you feckin' doing in there?" He slammed his hand against the wall, startling me.

Edward scowled, stepping toward him. "No, you can trust me, I wouldn't hurt her. I'll take care of her."

"Really," Em laughed bitterly. "Same as you take care of all the rest, Cullen?"

I rolled my eyes and hoisted my bag onto my shoulders. "Emmett, can we please discuss it later? I have to go."

He shook his head. "What were the two of you doin'?"

"Nothing. And I'll see who I bloody please," I mumbled, massaging my temples.

Emmett reddened, frustrated. "God, why did I ever let you take her out, I knew this was going to happen." He turned to Edward, shrugging. "How long has this been going on? Since the night you stayed here? Jesus Christ."

"Emmett!" I cried, sick of it already. "Let it go!"

He ignored me, his face red with rage as he moved even closer to Edward... "Why her?!" He growled, pointing at me.

Edward remained silent, his eyes never leaving Em. I wondered briefly what he was thinking, if he ever had second thoughts.

I put my hand on my brother's arm, trying to get him to snap out of it. I was anxious they'd start a row and I'd have to enlist the help of the other boys.

Emmett just shook me off. I knew I'd be hearing an earful later on.

"I'm going," I huffed. I couldn't take any more theatrics; they'd have to hash it out without me. I jogged down the steps and through the main door, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the sunlight. I heard the door open and shut behind me and I spun around, prepared to quarrel with my brother, but it was Edward.

I had an overwhelming urge to cry, and I dug my fingernails into my palms, annoyed with myself. I was all over the place emotionally, and that needed to stop.

Right, Bella.

"He's right. Why me?" I asked quietly when he was close enough to touch.

He shrugged. "No one else really does it for me."

I looked at him, shaking my headed slowly in disbelief. "Don't be like that."

He frowned. "Like what?"

"Don't just say things, Edward. I can't do that …with you."

He stepped closer and touched my cheek. "I'm not going to hurt you, Bella. You're waiting for me to just drop you and move on, but I won't."

I glanced up. "Why not?"

"I waited a long time to see if the way I felt would change and it didn't. I want to be with you."

My heart skipped a beat but I stayed silent, wondering how deep this was going to go.

"I've been with a lot of girls..."

"I know you have," I broke in.

"So I know what want." He put his hands in his pockets. "What do you want? This back and forth has to stop, I don't like it."

I almost laughed, but he was being serious. "I – I want you," I stammered.

He nodded, smiling a little. I reached hesitantly for him and he pulled me in for a hug. I closed my eyes and smelled his familiar, clean smell, allowing a quiet minute. Just thinking about Em upstairs made my head hurt worse.

"I really do have to go," I said eventually, wishing more than anything I could stay. I realized this was going to be a daily struggle for me.

"I have to stay. We're going to Derry a week from Friday and we need to go over a few things."

I frowned. "What's in Derry?"

He pulled me forward into his arms and rested his chin on my forehead. "You know what's in Derry."

"No, I don't." I pulled away slightly so I could see his face.

"We've a target there."

The thought made me sick and I tightened my grip on his torso. "Oh."

"Bella, you know what you're getting into with me. Don't start up, now."

"I'm not," I mumbled into his shirt.

"You know I have to do this," he continued, stroking my hair, all the way down my back.

"I know. I can help…" I said tentatively.

He grabbed my arms and shoved me gently away, not letting go. "Bollocks. You'll stay out of it."

I looked him straight in the eye. "No, I won't."

"Bella…"

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander," I recited playfully.

He wrinkled his nose. "That sounds like something my mum would say."

I nodded, laughing. "I've heard her say it,"

We gazed at each other for a few seconds, and when it became apparent I wasn't backing down he released my arms. "We'll talk about this later, yeah?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"Don't leave the bookshop til I get there, Bella," he called as I walked away.

I looked over my shoulder at the sight of him standing in the same spot, still watching me. "Alright."


It was hard to focus on psychology and literature. My mind kept wandering to Em, and the lively discussion we were sure to have later on. On one hand, the big reveal had gone better than I had expected; he didn't punch Edward. Still, the look on his face when he realized we'd been alone in the flat was awful. He'd looked so betrayed, as if we'd been carrying on behind his back. And in a way, we had been – but not because we wanted to be deceitful. Situations like that required tact. Lots of it.

Of course I could appreciate Emmett's concern for me; he'd seen Edward in action for years. However, it wasn't as if he was an innocent bystander while Edward ran wild. Edward had played on every sports team our school offered but Emmett had been captain of both the hurling and football teams. They had both enjoyed an abundance of female attention…which, the more I thought about it, was why Em was worried. He knew how these things worked.

I was also concerned about this Derry mission, or whatever they were calling it. A target? What did that mean? Were they going to kill someone? More than one person? Would they be the ones setting off bombs this time? A wave of nausea rippled through me and I put my cheek to my desk, allowing the cool, hard surface to sooth me.

"Bella," Alice whispered. She was perched in a desk to my left, watching me. "What's wrong?" she mouthed.

I pointed to my watch. "Two minutes," I mouthed back. She nodded and we started to quietly pack our notebooks and textbooks.

As soon as class was over, Alice leaned over. "So what's going on?"

I told her what had happened at the flat – leaving out any mention of Derry - while she listened in amusement.

"Well what did Edward bleedin' expect?" she snorted when I was finished. "He'd have done the same thing to any eejit who tried to get in my pants."

I sighed, getting to my feet. "It's true."

"So it's official then. After years of lustin' you're finally doing a line with my brother."

I made a face. "What are we, in secondary school?"

She smiled and scooped her books off the desk. "Just let me know when to start planning – "

"Alice," I warned, giving her a look.

"Judas Iscariot, love, lighten up."


When Edward brought me home that night, my Da opened the door to greet us. This was unusual, and I knew instantly that Em had said something to him. I glanced over at Edward but he seemed fine, though he must have known something was up.

We filed into the kitchen and Da held out a chair for Edward.

"D'you want tea?" I asked.

"I'll have a cup, darling," Da said, as I knew he would. Edward said he'd have one too and the two of them got to talking, mainly about politics. I listened carefully, mentally filing away the bits I deemed important. I knew Da loved Edward; he was proud of both boys and their devotion to the cause. He himself had participated to a degree as a younger man, and the fact that the torch had been passed on meant a lot to him.

"So, is there anything you'll want to be askin'?" Da asked suddenly.

Edward smiled, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. "Actually there is."

Da smirked and sat back, resting his tea cup on the table.

"I'd like your permission to see Bella," Edward said. I held my breath, waiting to see what Da would say. He adored Edward, but this might be a little much.

"Haven't ya already been seein' her?" Da asked, an eyebrow quirked.

"Ah, yes, sort of."

Da nodded thoughtfully after a moment. "I suppose that's alright. As long as you do things properly."

I exhaled quietly, relieved. Carlisle Cullen and Da had been friends before any of us were even born. Of course it should be okay for me to date Edward…and yet I'd been so apprehensive Da wouldn't see it that way. I had a feeling Edward's ability to "protect" me was probably of great appeal to my parents.

Well, whatever works.

Edward stood, clapping his hand on my father's shoulder."I've got to be getting home. Thanks for the chat, Charlie."

"Anytime, boy. Don't make me regret anything, now."

"Do you know where Em is, Da?" I asked as I turned to leave the kitchen.

"I think he's at the new billiards place near the university," he replied.

I planned to be in bed, asleep, when Em got home. I had no desire for round two, especially not that night.

I walked Edward out then, and we lingered on the front porch.

"Sleep over with Alice tomorrow," he suggested, kissing me.

I felt my face color at the possibilities.

"Maybe I will."