A/N: The key points of this chapter were intentional but I must admit they unraveled differently than I had planned. I love when the story takes on a mind of its own. The characters become more alive to me and the story becomes more meaningful. I really hope you enjoy it.
As always, references to Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Chapter 4 - BPOV
I bounced out of bed this morning. It was time to get over this slump I'd been in. What happened with Jake was not my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty. He knew how I felt and he knew what to expect. His choosing to proceed anyway was outside of my control. I am sorry he's hurt but I'm no longer willing to accept the guilt of his decision.
I kept repeating that little chant as I dressed for work. It was my mantra for the day. I was determined not to accept responsibility for what had happened. His being childish and running to the first open vagina was not my fault either. I just hope his vaccinations were up to date and condoms were in good supply. God only knows what he'd catch from that …that…bitch. I said it. She was a whoring bitch!
I had forgotten all about my birthday until Renee called me. She was really bubbly for my first conversation of the morning but I put on my happy face and smiled through it. Phil yelled out his wishes from somewhere in the background too. It meant a lot that she remembered, she always did but it was still nice. I knew she loved me but sometimes I resented her directionless ways, those ways that insisted I grow up sooner than I should have.
Living with Charlie had been a completely different experience. Not necessarily better but definitely different. He tried really hard not to over parent, he didn't want to drive me away like he had my mother, but he had no clue about teenagers. We muddled through it, together, and I loved him very much for trying. He called just before I left for work. He was already at the station.
"Bells, I want to have dinner here tonight, for your birthday."
"Uhm…yeah dad that sounds great." I replied
"Ok then…ah…." He hesitated.
"What is it dad?" I encouraged.
"Ah…well, it's just…uhm…Sue Clearwater is going to be here, is that ok?" He asked.
"Yes dad. That's fine. Is it just Sue, or will Leah and Seth, be there too?" I smiled to myself. My father, the terminal bachelor, was dating Sue Clearwater. He was very nervous about the whole thing. I think it's the first woman he'd been with since Renee. He wasn't sure what to say or how to behave, in front of me, when he was with her. I'm sure it was Sue pushing for us to get closer but I thought it was great. Charlie was a good man and deserved some happiness in his life.
Sue's two children, Leah and Seth, liked Charlie too. I adored Seth but Leah and I could never see eye to eye. She was very needy and demanded the attention of every man around. She had dated Sam Uley for a long time until he got sick of her and found Emily. A much better match, if you asked me. Then Leah found her eyes drawing toward Jake. She blamed me for Jake's lack of interest but I had nothing to do with that.
"No just Sue, and Jake, if you want to bring him over. I haven't seen him today." I figured Charlie would have heard, by now, what had happened the other night, from Billy or Jake, but I guess not. I probably should have told him myself but wasn't in the mood to discuss it. Especially not with Charlie, Jake was like a son to him. Maybe Jake won't mention it. It wasn't exactly a shining moment for either of us, maybe he didn't even tell his father. I thought that to be unlikely because Jake was really close to Billy and told him just about everything, but I decided to remain hopeful.
It had occurred to me, as I drove into work that Jake chose today because it was my birthday. The notion hadn't crossed my mind before. I guess I was too busy trying to prevent it. It still didn't explain why he wanted to make a public spectacle of such an intimate moment but I suppose Sam's explanation of Jake's logic would have to suffice, even if it was stupid.
Friday's were usually slow at the clinic but Angela had rebooked all my missed appointments for today. I was glad she did. Once I got into my groove, time passed quickly. The fast pace kept my mind busy and didn't leave much room for thinking.
By noon, things had slowed down a little. The morning was packed but we were moving so fast that we'd actually gotten ahead of our appointments.
"Bella," Angela called to me from behind the closed door of the grooming room. This room was equipped with a table for pet grooming and a large basin, like a sink only much bigger, for bathing dogs, and cats if absolutely necessary. I didn't open the door. We'd had too many critters escape from us in the past so now we just spoke to one another through the closed door. "I'm knee deep in fleas, would you run down to the storage room and get me some more shampoo."
The waiting area was clear so I made my way down to the basement to get the bottle of shampoo. The basement was dark and dingy and smelled musty. I really didn't like being down there by myself but there were times when I just didn't have a choice. I thought it was creepy, though Angela disagreed. She said it was like any other unfinished basement. Sometimes her good senses were annoying. Nothing bothered her, she was very logical and very bright.
She had full intentions of becoming a vet, as well, but her education was put on the back burner because of financial reasons. Her father emptied their bank account and took off, during our senior year, leaving her mother broke and trying to raise three kids. The family managed ok but Angela, being the eldest, had to put her dreams on hold to help her mom support the household. She did some courses at the community college and, when I opened the clinic, became my assistant. We worked well together and there were many days I was quite grateful for her presence.
Bottle in hand, I bolted up the stairs not wanting to spend a second longer, than I had too, down there. I opened the door to the main floor and headed back to the grooming room. The door was wide open and Angela was nowhere to be found. I peeked around, inside the room, and was surprised to see no evidence of a recently finished flea bath.
"Angela?" I called, confused, as I hurried toward the lobby.
I rounded the corner, "SURPRISE!" I was stunned into paralyses. The lobby had been modestly, and quickly, transformed into birthday central with balloons, a banner and some streamers.
"Oh my gosh," I couldn't believe the thoughtfulness of my dear friend. Angela stood in the center of the small gathering holding a huge slab cake, inscribed with Happy Birthday Bella. Honestly, I had thought she'd forgotten. I had hoped she'd forgotten. Celebrating birthdays was not big on my list of things to do. If it were up to me I'd be eighteen forever. Doesn't everyone feel that way? No real responsibilities, the energy and angst of a teenager, and the belief that you're totally invincible.
I moved toward Angela and leaned in to blow out my candles. "Make a wish," she chirped as I sucked in enough air to extinguish all the candles in one breath.
Everyone came at me, almost overwhelming me, as they hugged and kissed and wished me well. Fortunately, the small gathering consisted of only 10 people and dissipated quickly. The fact that Jake was missing from the celebration wasn't lost on me. I wasn't surprised but certainly felt his absence. Charlie and Sue had to return to their respective jobs, taking a piece of cake with them as they left. By the time the commotion settled down, Eric was the only guest that remained.
"Bella, this is…," before Eric could finish, the front door swung wide open and in walked Edward Mason.
"Good afternoon," he greeted confidently. "Looks like I'm just in time. What's all this about?" He looked around the room at the modest decorations.
Eric and Angela happily replied to his greeting and then explained it was my birthday. I stood there quietly, watching. I wasn't sure how I felt about him coming here after yesterday. I was trying to get over the past two days and Jake. I didn't need to exchange one set of problems for another. Edward stirred up feelings in me that I wasn't ready to understand and his coldness, at times, his deliberate rudeness was more than I wanted to deal with right now.
Angela introduced Eric to Edward, as her boyfriend and journalist which sparked a conversation between the two men. My brain couldn't register what they were discussing, I was too focused on the debate happening in my own head, but they seemed genuinely interested in whatever it was. Edward casually turned his head to me and winked, his attention still directed at Eric. What a difference? Yesterday he walked away from me as if I didn't really exist and today he's all smiles and sincerity.
Edward graciously excused himself from Eric, "Bella, can I speak with you privately for a moment?" A big smile beamed from Angela's face. Luckily, she was behind Edward and he didn't see her. I nodded, trying desperately not to look at Angela and react. I pointed to my office and started in that direction. Edward followed me.
He closed the door behind him as he entered. I waited for the conversation to begin, wondering what he could possibly want and why he needed privacy to say it. There was only silence as he gazed around my office, absorbing all the information it possessed. I followed his eyes as they zeroed in on my diplomas which Charlie had framed and now sat, carefully positioned my wall. Then he sized up the artwork on my wall. They were simple pieces from local artists. They weren't worth much but I absolutely loved them.
He moved over to my bookcase. I kept my reference books neatly organized and alphabetized in this case, along with some framed prints of the people I cared about. Only now, as I watched Edward inspect each picture, did I realize there were more photos of Jacob then of Charlie and Renee combined.
I sat down behind my desk. I didn't have time for these games, I thought, and leaned back in the chair. SAY SOMETHING ALREADY, I screamed in my head. This was driving me crazy. I was about to ask him what he wanted but he finally started.
"I'm sorry about yesterday." What? I thought, and as if he read my mind he explained. "I realized how rude it was of me to leave the way I did yesterday. It's just the phone call I got was not good news and I had to deal with it right away. I know that's not a good excuse for my behaviour but I'm hoping you can overlook it, this one time."
Where did that come from? I was stunned and speechless. Not in any conversation we've had up to now, did he come off as the type to apologize for his behaviour. Infact, he seemed capable of making other people feel the need to apologize when it was clearly his fault.
"I'd like to make it up to you and take you to the carnival thing we talked about yesterday. You said it was fun and I'm going to trust your judgement." He was smooth. I knew it, I repeated it in my head but I couldn't resist. I could feel my defenses surrendering. His words melted like butter as they slipped passed his tongue.
"Thank you Edward. I'd like that." I replied, falling for it, for him.
"What time can I pick you up?"
"Oh…ah…I can't tonight. I already have plans." His face fell, "tomorrow night?" I asked.
"Sure, of course." His voice was slightly weaker than before. "I'll drop in tomorrow and you can let me know when and where?" He was surprisingly accommodating.
We walked back up the hallway to the lobby and he stopped to engage Angela and Eric once again. Angela was looking through one of those trash mags and Eric, stood over her shoulder, pointing out the poor writing styles of the articles she read.
"Leaving already?" Eric looked up to Edward from his crouched position behind Angela.
"Bella, you have to look at this." Angela said excitedly. She stood up and placed the paper on the high outer counter of the lobby desk. "Jane's getting divorced but just look at what her husband did to their house."
I glanced over and could see pictures of broken glass littering the floor, in what appeared to be, a very expensive home. "Angela, it's only broken glassware and stuff. There's no real damage to the house," I said, uninterested.
"Edward, doesn't that look like real damage?" Angela pushed the paper to Edward.
"Angela, why are you reading such garbage?" His question was logical and I wouldn't have thought anything of it except for the tone he used. It was the same condescending arrogant tone he used with me when I yelled at him for parking in the middle of the road. He seemed to be personally offended by Angela's interest in the rich and famous. I didn't really care either way. I didn't read those magazines, or papers or whatever they were, but I didn't care if someone else did.
"Oh Bella, I almost forgot." Eric picked a gift bag up, off the counter, and handed it to me. "This is for you."
A smile spread across my face, "you shouldn't have." I said, not truly meaning it.
"Oh, I didn't." Eric blushed. "Jake asked me to give it to you."
My smile disappeared as I reached into the bag and pulled out a ring box. I was about to drop it back into the bag but Angela urged me to open it. She was dying to see what the ring looked like.
"Wow," she said when I opened the lid. "Jake has good taste." I looked at her sharply and caught Edward in the corner of my eye. His lips were pursed together, his eyes narrowed.
"Edward…"
"Uhm," he wouldn't let me finish. "No need to explain," he gestured to the ring, "you have plans." He turned and headed for the door.
I pushed the ring, the box, the bag over to Angela and our hands fumbled together as I tried to let go and she tried to hold on. Once we had it figured out I dashed through the door after him.
"Wait," I called to him but he wouldn't listen. "Will you stop!" I demanded, determined it would be my last effort.
He turned around. "Look Bella," he was cold again. "I don't want to step in on someone else. The other night at the inn, you gave me the impression you were single. If you're not, just tell me, and I'll leave you alone."
"I am single. It's…"
"It's a diamond ring. That doesn't scream single to me!" He dared to turn his back on me, his temper rising.
"It's a long story, Edward. One I don't wish to talk about while we're yelling. I…."
"So, are you trying to tell me that wasn't an engagement ring?" Edward challenged.
"Well, yes…it… it was…but…." I stuttered and stammered.
"Good bye Bella." He turned around this time and headed for his car.
"Wait, I'm sorry…I…. Pick me up here at seven." I yelled after him unable to believe what was happening. I apologized to him. He was being an ass and I apologized to him. I knew he had that power but…damn it!
His demeanor changed almost immediately and that irritated me. He'd gotten his way and he knew it. "Seven? Are you sure?" I nodded. "Your fiancé won't mind?" He laughed. He used that word on purpose to taunt me. I wanted to hit him but managed to refrain. He grazed his teeth over his bottom lip, turned his head for a minute and then looked at me again. "I'll see you here, at seven." He made it sound like I asked him out. How did he do that? The smile on his face told me everything I needed to know. Arrogant. He was used to getting his own way.
I took the ring back from Angela and hid in my office until my next appointment. Jake had some nerve to pull off a stunt like that. What was he trying to prove? He wouldn't get away with it. Two can play that game.
I went home after work and changed my clothes. There wouldn't be any time later. I arrived at Charlie's with time to spare. Sue was in the kitchen and I was grateful to see she was cooking. Charlie's idea of gourmet was KD on a plate. When he wasn't cooking to impress, he'd eat straight from the pot it was cooked in. The thought of him, in front of his big screen TV, spooning the yellow noodles into his mouth from a big silver pot, made me giggle to myself.
After so many years of living alone, you'd think he would have learned to cook. I get by, he always said when I brought up that point. I suppose he did but he gained weight after I moved in and dropped it shortly after I moved out. Now that Sue was in his life, and cooking for him, I could see his face beginning to fill out again. He was happy and she was an awesome cook, but I took the weight fluctuations as a sign that he did enjoy better food then he was able to prepare. I invited him to my place, or dropped by his, a couple times a month to make sure he had a good meal, though with Sue around, it lessened my obligation.
I set the table as Sue started loading the plates. She'd prepared a smoked salmon dish and it smelled really good. Aside from the cake, and a few cups of coffee, I hadn't eaten today and the aroma was making my stomach growl.
"Why wasn't Jake at the clinic for your party today?" Charlie asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, "not sure," I answered stuffing my mouth, hoping he would drop it.
"What time are you going to LaPush?" It didn't work.
"Charlie," Sue chimed in, "let her eat."
"She's eating." Charlie gestured toward me, holding a butter knife in his hand. "So Bells, are you driving down with Jake or meeting him there?" He continued, not waiting for me to respond. "Sue and I are going down too, so you can leave with Jake from the shop if you want. I'd rather you didn't drive back alone in that truck anyway. Drive down with Jake and you can come back with us."
There was silence as I chewed and swallowed, Charlie and Sue waited for me to agree with the idea. "I'm not going with Jake, dad." I said, avoiding eye contact. There was another pause.
"What's that?" Charlie was confused.
I placed my fork down, beside my plate, then rested my hands in my lap, under the table. I looked Charlie directly in the eyes. "I'm not going with Jake."
Charlie let out a noticeable sigh and turned to Sue. "Well, does Jake know that?" He looked unusually concerned which triggered my alarms, otherwise known as female intuition.
"Why dad?" Charlie knew something, I was sure of it.
"I don't know Bella, you two are always together I'm just wondering if he knows…that's all." I didn't buy it.
"Dad, do you know what Jake was planning for tonight?" I couldn't stand the charade so I asked him directly. Charlie turned his head, trying to disguise the smile he couldn't prevent. "Dad?" My level of annoyance was growing and so was the volume of my voice.
"I'm sorry Bella." The little smile became a huge toothy grin. He folded his arms across his body and laid them on the table between his chest and his plate, then leaned his body inward, excited. "I didn't want to ruin the surprise. He came by a couple weeks ago and told me what he wanted to do. He asked me for your hand." There was pride in Charlie's eyes and he puffed out his chest a little, the big papa giving his daughter's hand in marriage.
"How could you keep that from me? Weeks?" I was instantly furious.
"What kind of surprise would it be if I'd told you?" Charlie didn't hear me and hadn't figured out that I was upset. He started rambling on about Jake and what a great son-in-law he was going to make. Billy would be real family now.
"Charlie," Sue said calmly and put her hand on top of his. She shook her head, trying to make him shut up and really see the look on my face.
"What?" He asked innocently.
"Dad, I'm not marrying Jake." Charlie blinked in disbelief. "I'm not in love with him." I got up from the table. I was angry, for obvious reasons and hurt because I didn't want to do this with Charlie. I didn't want to listen to him choose Jake over me.
"Now Bella, wait. What do you mean you don't love him? You two are always together."
"We're friends, dad, not lovers." It felt weird to say that to my father but the words were out before I had a chance to catch them. As I made my way to the door, I blurted out an apology to Sue, for not staying to help with the dishes. I needed to get away from this conversation and she seemed to understand. Charlie chased after me, questioning, accusing. How dare I say no to Jake, Saint Jake?
"I can't believe you knew about this and didn't tell me." I shouted. "You of all people should understand. I don't love him."
Charlie stopped in his tracks. Sue walked out behind him. "Bella, what happened with your mother and me is different. It was two kids being young and stupid. We were crazy in love with the idea of being in love. You and Jake have been friends for years, you have a bond, something me and your mother never had. Don't waste your life waiting for something that may or may not come and won't last if it does. Maybe you should consider learning to love the one you're with. Think about that." His words were harsh. They came from scars cut deep in his heart by Renee. Why couldn't she learn to love the one she was with?
As Charlie spoke those words I looked back to Sue. Her mouth dropped and she quietly retreated, back to the kitchen. I'm sure she was wondering if that was all she was to him. The one he was with, the one left here. Poor Charlie may have ruined his night, maybe even his relationship, with those thoughtless words. Love the one you're with? Are you kidding me? AND I'M NOT WITH JAKE! Damn it! Doesn't anyone get that?
I ran out of there and took off, in the truck, down the quiet little street. Charlie had put me in the right frame of mind to deal with Jake. It was time to show him that I was not going to take his crap anymore! He wanted to make sure Angela and Eric knew about the proposal and that I'd turned him down. How dare I turn down Saint Jake? Well, now his friends were going to get a taste of that.
I skidded to a stop in front of the large bay doors of Jake's shop. It grabbed the attention of everyone inside. "Jake?" I called out not seeing him amongst the huddle of men.
"He'll be right back, Bella." Quil Ateara was the first to speak. "Can I help you with something? Your breaks seem fine though." He joked but I was in no mood. The other guys laughed. I glared at them until they stopped.
A car pulled up as I was staring down the crew. I knew it was Jake, his car had a distinct sound, something he'd done with the muffler. He had told me all about it at the time but I had absolutely no interest.
"What are you doing here, Bella?" He asked, curtly.
"This is what I'm doing here." I pulled the ring box out of my pocket.
"It was bought for you. It's not like I can give it to anyone else. Keep it." He said nonchalantly. I was expecting him to be more upset.
"I don't want it Jake. I didn't want it when you gave it to me. I don't want it when someone else gives it to me." I threw the box at him, "Get it through your head, I don't want it."
Jake took three giant steps toward me then grabbed my arm and tried to force me to his office for a little more privacy but I pulled out of his grip. No, he started this and I was going to finish it in front of everyone.
"Bella." I could see the fire coming from his eyes, the anger burning inside him.
"What Jake? You don't want your boys to see this? Hmmm, just like I'd preferred if Angela and Eric weren't involved." I dared him with every word.
"What the hell do you want from me, Bella?" He screamed. "You said you don't love me, you don't want me. I got it, ok, I fucking got it." He was angry now, Jake didn't cuss often. "You want everyone to know what a fool I've been? Hey everyone, I asked Bella to marry me and she said NO! Is that what you want? Are you fucking satisfied now?"
The spite coming through me threatened to make me cry and I fought against the tears. His words caught me off guard but I recovered, "I didn't make you a fool Jake. You did that all on your own. I never gave you reason to think we were anything more than friends."
"Never gave me reason? Are you fucking serious?" I wasn't sure where he was going with this. "You've got a lot of nerve lady. Get the fuck of my property?"
My jaw dropped. Did he just kick me out of here? "What?"
"You heard me. Go to fuck, Bella." I couldn't believe the words I heard coming from him.
"Jake!" I'm not sure if I was shocked or trying to scold him for his language.
He lowered his voice to a whisper, "Don't you dare look at me and say you'd never given me reason. The only thing we haven't done is fuck each other. But I guess you've fucked me pretty good, haven't you? Think about it Bella. Who do you always turn too when you need someone? Who's always there for you? How many women have I walked out on to be there for you, to fix your shit? You walk over me like a fucking door mat and then expect me not to read anything into that?" He started mocking my voice, "oh Jake I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh Jake you're the best, oh Jake for every fucking thing. You did me a favor by turning me down. I'm finally awake. Goodbye Bella." He walked through the garage to his office then disappeared behind the door.
I stood their dumbfounded until I noticed Quil and the boys staring at me, their mouths open, shocked by what they saw. I ran to the truck, jumped in and drove off.
Undoubtedly, the water works started as soon as I sat in the truck. It surprised me that was able to hold on that long. Was he right? Had I led him on? It didn't matter now, it was over.
I tried to pull myself together as I neared the clinic. It wasn't easy with so many questions in my head, hearing Jake's voice yell at me over and over, but I managed to be tear free as I pulled up next to Edward.
I got out of the truck and tried to disguise my turmoil by sounding up beat. "Hi, are you ready?"
"Are you ok?" It obviously hadn't worked.
"What's with the new car?" I asked trying to avoid his question.
"Bella, tell me what's wrong?" He seemed genuinely concerned.
"Nothing." I shook my head, hoping it would be more convincing.
"Is it the same nothing that bothered you yesterday?"
"What?" I didn't understand.
"You didn't go to work yesterday and when you came in for that dog I hit, you looked like you'd been…like you do now."
"Can we just go, please?" I wasn't going to get in to this with him.
Edward reached out his arms, cradling me around the shoulders, as he drew me closer. He held me tight against his body, his face nuzzled my hair then finally came to rest on my head. It felt safe to be held so tight, so close, and I was reminded of other times I'd felt that way, in Jake's arms.
Damn it! Jake was right.
I stayed in Edward's arms for a few minutes then I took a deep breath and gently pushed my way out of his hold. If I'd stayed there any longer I would have become a crying mess. "Let's go." I said quietly, more a question then a statement.
Edward pulled open the door to this new, different car, then ran around back to the driver's side and slid in beside me. I asked about the new car again, trying to make conversation as I directed him toward LaPush. Apparently, the other car belonged to his client, his reason for being in town. This was his car, not new, just newly cleaned and detailed. I couldn't argue. I'd never had a car cleaned and detailed so I didn't know if that made a car smell brand new again. Maybe I should try that with the truck.
"So, Mr. Mason, what exactly do you do for your clients?" I asked, trying to forget everything else that had happened today.
Edward sighed an amused huff, "why?"
"Well, they let you borrow that car for one. Are you a hit man or something? Cause I should probably be aware of something like that?" He laughed again and I smiled. He was so cute when he looked happy. The tension built up inside me had eased off and I wanted to know more about Edward Mason.
"No, not a hit man." He laughed again. "I'm in real estate. My clients have asked me to appraise their home. Do any renovations I see fit and prepare the house for sale."
"A full service real estate agent?" That seemed a little odd but I didn't care. The important part was, "that sounds like you might be here a while." I tried to play it cool though inside I was very eager to hear his response, especially if it agreed with my conclusion.
"Sounds that way doesn't it?" He answered coolly.
"Where are you from?"
"Boston."
"Who's your client?"
"It's confidential." He smiled at me, his teeth nipping at his bottom lip just a little. "Now it's my turn."
"Ok." I took a deep breath.
Edward laughed, "it's not the Spanish inquisition."
"Sorry," I shook my head. "I don't like answering questions about myself."
"Ok, I'll make it easy. Tell me about the guy who gave you the ring?"
The smile quickly disappeared from my face, "Edward."
"Well, it's not a question directly about you." He was right but this question was worse. "And I have to admit I'm really curious. I've heard of some poorly executed proposals but this one takes the cake."
"That wasn't the proposal." I didn't want to talk about it but I had to at least set that much straight.
"No? When did he propose?" I scratched my head wondering how I got myself into these situations with him. He had to be good at selling, he knew how to turn things in his favor.
"Do you have any siblings?" I tried to change the subject.
"Yes two and it's ok, I understand."
"Understand what?" I asked.
"If you don't want to talk about the proposal, I wouldn't either if it was lame."
"It wasn't lame. It was…."
"Was what?" Edward pressed.
I turned my head and watched the landscape that passed by. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to hold my breath so Edward wouldn't hear me cry. Thinking about everything, about Jake, brought all my emotions to the surface and I couldn't hide them anymore. I reached up to my face to wipe the tears away. Cars lined the side of the road as we neared the beach. "We're here," I squeaked.
"Bella?"
I felt the car slow down and pull off to the side of the road. "Edward, I'm sorry. I can't do this right now."
Edward had gotten out of the car and was at my side in a second. "Please don't look at me." I begged.
"We don't need to go in if you don't want too. Is there somewhere else we can go?" I nodded. Truthfully, I wanted to go home but I wasn't ready to invite Edward into my house. He was still a stranger after all. I was pretty sure he wouldn't just drop me off and be on his way. I stood up beside him and pointed to a pathway that led past the excitement and loudness of the Fair. A section that was completely unaffected by the commotion and the crowd.
The path was fairly straight forward. Edward took my hand and led me toward the beach. As we got closer, we could hear the small waves as they gently rolled in. I had come here many times over the years, often alone, to think. The crashing waves, though seemingly violent in their quest for land, calmed me somehow, cleared my head. I loved this place.
We found a place to sit and watched the sun, as it slid underneath the water's surface. It was breathtaking. After the sun set, the rolling waves had become somber lops. An occasional burst of laughter, from the fairgrounds, floated in on the light breeze and the music from the rides could be heard faintly. My tears had subsided long ago and I simply enjoyed the nature around me. The air felt fresh against my skin and I closed my eyes for a minute to concentrate on the feeling of it.
The moonlight shimmered and shone on the water and it invited me closer. I got up and walked to the water's edge. The air was chillier now and I could feel little goose bumps forming on my arms until Edward joined me. He stood closely behind, wrapping his arms around me, sheltering me from the cool air.
"Are you ok?" He whispered into my ear. I nodded. Without letting me go, he maneuvered himself in front of me. I couldn't see his features distinctively, only his silhouette, but I sensed his intentions. I don't know if it was the mood or the timing but when he leaned into kiss me I allowed myself to get lost in the moment.
At first, his lips were just hovering near mine. I could smell his sweet breath lingering between us. The moisture of his supple lips, like morning dew, teasingly brushed mine and pulled back, again brushing briefly against my lips and pulling away. Was he waiting for permission? My tongue lashed out, licking, matching his wetness, in anticipation.
He raised his warm hand to my face and softly stroked my cheek until he found my mouth then his finger tenderly traced my bottom lip. My tongue, eager for his touch, pulled him in, gently gnawing, biting, kissing. My breathing quickened as he pulled away. He cupped my face with both his hands and pressed his lips firmly against mine. Our mouths moved in sync, softly, passionately. His tongue slipped between my lips, licking, tasting. I didn't want him to stop.
His hands slipped away from my face, down my neck, sliding around to my back. He jerked me closer, our bodies tight against one another. His hands descended steadily until they reached the waistline of my jeans. Suddenly, the impression of his lips weren't the only thing consuming my thoughts. I could feel the coolness of his palms against my skin as they climbed upward under my shirt.
I wanted to stop him, found his hands with mine but instead of saying no, I let out a titillating moan. It was so hard to deny him, to deny myself of the unknown pleasures that was sure to exceed any past experiences. His kiss, alone, had driven me from my senses into a realm I couldn't describe. To move beyond that could only be euphoric.
I felt the constriction of my bra loosen, it was going to happen. I had to find the strength to sober myself against his passion and my desire. I wedged my hands between us and pushed firmly against his chest, unlocking our lips, allowing us to breathe, separately, to realize the seriousness of what was about to happen. "I'm not ready," I uttered, unable to convince myself that I didn't want too.
Edward smirked. He knew my words were spoken from the rational part of my brain and did not convey the message my body was sending. He took a deep breath, leaned into me once more and kissed my forehead. "Do you want me refasten your bra?" He chuckled, lightly.
I laughed, rolling my eyes, "no, I think I got it, thanks." I batted his arm then fumbled with my bra hook. "You're terrible." I joshed, shaking my head. I wasn't expecting him to give up so easy and was a little disappointed he had. My body was craving his touch, his warm breath. I breathed deep trying to visualize our encounter, trying to recapture the feelings he invoked inside me.
We laughed and joked as we made our way back to the car. I was feeling much better. "Edward, do you still want to go?" I pointed to the Fair.
He circled his arms around my waist. I guess our endless moment brought about a new level of comfort. "Go all the way? Sure." He laughed.
"Nooo." I said, breaking his hold, "the Fair, you naughty boy." He raised his eyebrows in a devilish manner.
"Yeah, we can do that too."
We walked along the road to the entrance. The cars had to park along the roadside because the parking lot was used to support the heavy rides. They obviously needed solid ground to operate safely.
We bypassed the rides on our way in. Edward promised we'd come back to them but wanted to play some games first. I had to wonder if he wasn't a touch nervous at the possibility of tossing his cookies. I caught a glimpse of Charlie and Sue playing the ring toss game. They must have worked things out, they were laughing and touching, happy. I guided Edward in the opposite direction. No need to push Edward in Charlie's face after our encounter earlier today.
We played a few games unsuccessfully, "These fucking games are rigged," I laughed at Edward's annoyance. He'd spent way too much money and still hadn't won anything. He was definitely annoyed but jovial. He made me laugh. I enjoyed being with him.
His soft tender touches ignited something in my body and I was happier then I'd ever known myself to be. Small gestures like his hand at the small of my back as he guided me through the crowd, my hand in his when he was leading me and the little bumps we shared from the crowd pushing, forcing us together. I tried to fight the feelings growing inside me, the feelings that told me I'd been waiting for him my whole life. It didn't make sense, it wasn't possible. I couldn't be falling in love with him, not after only one night, one kiss, but it was hard to ignore. With him, here, tonight, I felt complete. I felt like I belonged…to him.
We were standing near the dart throw when I noticed Seth running toward us, Wolf at his side. He hugged me when he reached us, breathless. I'm no psychologist, but it made me wonder what effects losing his father, at such a young age, really had. He'd met Edward only once and already was forming a bond with him. Maybe I'm overthinking, or worse, a hypocrite, didn't I just say I'd formed a bond with Edward too. Is it possible Edward's personality was just that magnetic? It seemed unlikely given his propensity for sarcasm and arrogance.
I thought it sweet the way Edward referred to him as 'kid'. Seth wasn't at all deterred by his rank and they kidded and carried on like brothers. Eventually, the three of us made our way to the stage. A large area had been roped off for people to sit and listen to the bands that were showcasing, without fear of being trampled by game players. A tent had been set up as well, serving alcohol for those of age to drink. Those wanting to drink had to wear a special arm bracelet. It made it easier for the bartenders to identify who was of age and who was not.
A new band began setting up. Angela and Eric had seen us as they walked by and decided to join us. My mind drifted away from the group occasionally just to absorb everything. Here I was enjoying the night with friends and Edward, Edward and my friends, enjoying each other. It almost seemed too perfect. This was turning into the best birthday I'd ever had and Jake's absence from it was becoming less and less noticeable.
The band was really good and really loud, covering songs from current rock bands. Everyone was enjoying it, proof being the periodic head banging we'd all break in to and then the fit of laughter as we all wondered – where did that come from? Head banging was more from Charlie's era, yet the music moved us to partake. Angela beamed as she watched Edward and me hold each other, flirting, laughing.
In the corner of my eye I saw Jessica and Mike walking in our direction. Jessica's parents were trying to handle her children, take them away. Allowing some grown up time for Jessica and Mike, I assumed. Her wild children were running and climbing, their general unruliness, the norm. Mr. and Mrs. Stanley had their aging hands full. I didn't think she saw me, hoped she hadn't seen me, notice them. I nudged Angela, "let's get some drinks." I did not wanting the Newton's joining our contented little group. Jessica would have a field day, conjuring up stories about Edward and me, to pass around town tomorrow. Angela agreed and we excused ourselves. Edward was fine with Eric and Seth, without me. He seemed very comfortable with them.
I explained to Angela about not wanting Jessica to join our group, she agreed. Angela was nice to a fault but Jessica, was by no means, her favorite person. We walked across the beach to one of the fast food kiosks, neither of us wanted alcohol, and of course, Seth was underage. As we moved along, Angela gushed about Edward and me, how we seemed so close.
"It's like you're made for each other," she commented.
"It's really strange, Ang. I've never felt so connected to anyone like this before. I don't even know him. Does that sound stupid?"
"Yes, very. But do want to hear something even more stupid?" She replied with her usual Angela honesty.
I pouted at her response. It wasn't the answer I wanted, "sure," I said, my spirits dampened.
"I totally believe it. It's like you've known each other forever." We laughed hard, like two school girls passing notes about the boy they were afraid to talk too. I was so excited she could see what I felt.
I described our kiss and she almost melted through the sand, leaning on me for support as we reached the order window. We made our selections and I made sure to get one for Seth. I wouldn't want to leave him out. On the way back, Angela asked me what we were planning over the weekend. I had no idea. I assumed, hoped, we'd be together but I couldn't guarantee it.
"Bella, Bella." Seth ran up to us, breathless. "Hurry, you gotta come."
"What is it?" I asked concerned. Wolf was beside him so I knew, whatever was so urgent, had nothing to do with my veterinarian skills. Seth couldn't say anything else, trying to catch his breath. He grabbed my hand pulling me back towards the stage. The drinks, I'd held, crashed to the sandy floor, as did Angela's, and she followed closely behind us.
Edward was rubbing his jaw when we made back to the group. Eric's hand was on his shoulder almost comforting. "What happened?" I asked.
"Nothing." Edward's voice was sharp and stern. His breaths were steady and controlled as if he were trying to calm himself.
"Bella." Seth tried again. "It was all my fault." He huffed and puffed. The run back had been moderately paced as he dragged me behind him but, in his attempt to find me, Seth must have ran around the beach full force. "I didn't know he'd been drinking."
"Who?" I immediately thought of my father, not that I'd ever seen Charlie drunk, but was it possible Charlie attacked Edward, angry that he was stealing my attention from Jake? Maybe he'd seen us together. Maybe Seth introduced them. So many possibilities swirled around in my head, in the few short seconds that passed before Seth answered me.
"Jake." Seth returned.
"What?" I asked.
"Seth called Jake over to meet Edward." Eric filled in. "To meet Bella's boyfriend." Eric used quotations and laughed. "I'm sorry, it's not funny." But he couldn't stop laughing. Seth had no idea about the events that had transpired between me and Jake over the past week. His intentions were sweet but his timing couldn't have been worse.
"I didn't know he was drinking Bella. He went after Edward as soon as I mentioned your name." Seth's breathing had returned to normal.
"I didn't know being your boyfriend was such a dangerous endeavor." Edward's sense of humor had returned, as well, thankfully. His face, knotted with anger, and possibly pain, was beginning to relax again.
"I'm so sorry." I stepped closer and gently covered his hand with mine, "does it hurt?"
"It's ok. Lover boy sucker punched me." He pouted a little, looking for my full sympathy. I looked into Edward's face, his beautiful eyes were captivating. It felt like my friends were sharing their piece of the story from far away, their words barely comprehendible, as I stared deeper and deeper into his pools of green and gold.
"It was a good thing Sam was with him. It might have gotten pretty bad. Jake was pissed and pretty drunk." Seth piped in.
I was surprised to hear that Jake was drunk. Drinking wasn't something he usually engaged in but I guess he'd had enough reason lately to throw caution to the wind.
Edward enveloped my hand that still cradled his face, with both his hands, and pulled it towards his mouth. He placed a kiss on my palm and held it to his lips for a few seconds. I knew what he was thinking, I was thinking it too.
"I think this has been enough excitement for one night. We're going to head back to Forks." Edward released me and I turned towards my friends as I spoke. Seth hugged me and apologized, once again, to us both. Angela and Eric agreed and said they were ready to leave as well. I was grateful for their company as we made our way up to the road from the beach. In the back of my mind, was the unsettling thought that Jake, and his pack of juniors, would try to ambush Edward and I. I could only imagine Jake's degree of anger, he wasn't a drinker and he wasn't a fighter, so his actions now were unpredictable. Naturally, nothing would happen if he was under Sam's supervision, but Sam would eventually have to leave. He and Emily had children that needed to be put to bed. Jake's other friends, Quil, Embry and the boys were not as mature and responsible as Sam. They were more likely to encourage Jake to fight which scared me a little.
We exited the Fairgrounds, Angela and Eric headed in one direction, Edward and I in the opposite one. We had no trouble finding the car as many patrons had already left. I kept listening for signs and sounds of others approaching but there was nothing.
"Nervous?" Edward asked.
"No," I lied as we found his car. Edward pinned me up against the door, his arms extended past me to the roof. I was caged in.
"In case I forget to tell you, you know, while I'm nursing my face," he snickered, "I had fun tonight…with you." My heart flipped inside my chest, TAKE ME NOW, it screamed, though my head would not allow those words to escape from my mouth.
"Me too." I reached for his face and drew him closer to me, barely touching his lips. I hoped it would intrigue him, give him something to think about after he left me. I think it worked as I ducked under his arms and opened the car door. He stood there for a few minutes, a sly grin stretched across his face, watching me, before he attempted to get in the car himself.
"I've been thinking." We were almost back to Forks.
"About?" He asked curiously.
"You know, that fight was awfully convenient."
"Convenient?"
"Yes. I do believe we were supposed to go back to the rides, Mr. Mason. That would have been our next stop had you not been senselessly attacked." I grinned. "One may even think you provoked him." I wasn't sure if those were the right words to say, he could have taken it completely wrong but, again, they were out before I could change my mind.
"Listen, Dr. Swan. I know what you're implying and I can assure you, I am not afraid of a few carnival rides." He kidded back and I was grateful he wasn't offended.
"Hmmm, I can't be sure."
"Have I mentioned that I'm a pilot, licensed to fly small non-commercial aircrafts. There's a thrill ride for you."
"Really?" I asked, unconvinced. Edward heard the doubt in my voice, he chuckled quietly and shook his head. I'm sure he wanted to say something else but chose not to.
He changed the subject, "so, am I your boyfriend now?" Oh my God! The blood instantly began to pool and I could feel the heat building in my face. "Is that how it works in small towns?"
Thankfully it was dark. I'm sure my face was more than red, crimson perhaps. I paid no attention to that phrase as Eric recapped Seth's intentions earlier. I hoped Edward hadn't heard it but, now, here it was staring me in the face. How was I supposed to respond to that?
I started to laugh, more a defense to cover my nervousness. "No, those are the words of a fickle hearted teenager. However," I acted coy, "I don't have anyone else in mind right now to fill that position." He glanced over at me, smiling. "I'm just saying." He nodded his head in understanding.
"Now that I've had my own altercation with this Jake character, do you think you could tell me why he hates me so much? It's the boyfriend thing right?" Edward was having fun with this.
"Yup. That's exactly why."
"And I should hate him because…," he pried.
I took a deep breath and started from the beginning. I guess I owed him the whole story, since he took a punch in the face, in my name. I explained how Billy and Charlie were close friends. How Jake and I practically grew up together, at least over summer vacations. Edward took it all in and sometimes I'd look over at him and his expression told me understood. I couldn't wait to delve into his past like this. Then I brought him up to speed on when I moved here permanently. Jake had taken our friendship to a whole new level, at least from his perspective. He always wanted more than I was willing to offer. I ended with the proposal the other night and confirmed the reason I wasn't in to work yesterday. I told him about my conversation with Charlie and then the encounter with Jake that back fired on me miserably, just before I met up with him at the clinic. I wondered out loud if I had led him on. Edward didn't say anything but I could tell he didn't like this part of my monologue, at all.
We finally reached Forks. Edward insisted on bringing me home. He said he wasn't comfortable dropping me off in a vacant parking lot leaving me defenseless on my lonely drive home. I wanted to reassure him that I was not defenseless but bit my tongue, I liked that he cared about my personal safety. "I'll pick you up in the morning and we'll go get your truck. After all, isn't that what boyfriends are supposed to do?" I think the term boyfriend would forever remain an inside joke for the both of us.
Edward pulled into my driveway and pushed the gear shift into park. I attempted to open the door but he stretched his arm across me and stopped me from pulling the door handle. "Wait here," he said, his voice deep, hushed.
He got out and rounded the car, opened my door and extended his hand to help me out. He was a gentleman when he chose to be. I imagined he was raised well but somehow developed his own personality in spite of his mother's efforts. We slowly walked to my front door in silence. He waited as I found my key and unlocked the deadbolt that Charlie insisted I have installed. I didn't want this night to end. Aside from Jake's involvement it had been perfect.
I turned to say good night. Edward stroked my cheek and I found myself leaning into his touch. He used his other hand to push my hair back over my shoulder then moved in and kissed my neck. His warm breath on the sensitive skin below my ear, sent shivers down my spine. I hadn't expected that. Everything about him was sensual and tantalizing. I wondered if he was like this with other women he'd dated or had he been saving it all up for me. I deliberately pushed those thoughts away. I knew he'd had a past, as did I, but I didn't need to think about it, especially not now.
His lips rose to my earlobe, "happy birthday, Bella," he whispered seductively. I was entranced, not coming to my senses, not moving, not opening my eyes until I heard the car door close.
I had to admit though, I was bursting on the inside, Edward was my boyfriend. The thought of it was enough to take my breath away. It took all the energy I had to keep the silly, love sick smile off my face. Oh my gosh! There was no denying it, I was in love with this man.
