Family Torn Apart
Disclaimer: Don't own anything... especially not the parts that you find familiar.
Okay, so after a serious rethinking of this story, it turns out more May and Jefferson centric than anything else. But don't worry, there will be WoodenSwan feels, too, along the way.
This chapter picks up with episode 3 in season 2.
Chapter 4: Mad May
"Hey, hey, hey…" May said as she grabbed Henry's bag as the boy ran past her. "Where is the hurry?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow. "School bus's that way."
Henry's shoulder visible slumped as he looked up at the woman.
"So, any particular reason for why you're running in the opposite way as the school is?" She regarded him with a raised eyebrow.
"No?" he tried with an innocent look.
"Good," May nodded then grabbed him on the shoulders and turned him towards the waiting bus. "Then let's go, Billy."
"Why do you keep calling me Billy?" Henry asked as he was gently pushed forward.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"I'd really like to know."
"You are too curious for your own good," May observed, knowing full well that he was most probably going to miss school because of some grand mystery. She could bet that he was working on bringing her mother and grandmother back from the Enchanted Forest. "I will tell you…" she started and smirked when Henry's head snapped into her direction, "…one day when I didn't catch you skipping school."
Henry was still pouting when May put her on the bus.
Jefferson sat by the docks, staring at a picture of himself her daughter had drawn. She was looking for him… and he was so close to finally pluck up the courage and go find her. He wanted to talk about it with May the previous evening, he wanted to ask her to go with him but, of course, events didn't go down as he'd anticipated. Far from it…
What the hell was he thinking?
Well, obviously he wasn't thinking at all.
What kind of pervert goes on and kisses the girl he'd raised?
The memories were still so vivid when she first took his hand in the woods, trusting him completely, or the nights she spent curled up in his arms and crying herself to sleep because she missed her parents so badly. He could still feel the agony of the sleepless nights when she was lying in bed sick, her dreams disturbed by fever, and he could still recall the endless struggles when he questioned his ability to be a good guardian to his temperamental little girl.
But he also remembered the night clearly when he realized that the little girl he'd found in the woods wasn't anymore and instead, he was sharing his home with a beautiful young woman. It was a rainy night and May had stayed out later than usual – she did that a lot then, leaving him wondering where she was spending her time… and with whom. That night, though, there was something different about her. He couldn't quite put a finger on it but as she was standing there, soaked through, chest heaving, he could see that she was… glowing. And he'd never seen a more beautiful creature before. When he snapped at her angrily for staying out so late, he was more frustrated with himself than her. He found himself attracted to her.
After that night, he realized that their relationship had irrevocably changed. He couldn't handle her like a little girl anymore but thinking of her as a woman felt wrong. It took him a long time and conscious efforts but finally he was able to think of her as a friend. Only after that he could accept that change, did their relationship calmed down and solidified into a strong bond that even the last year couldn't break.
Then he went out and screwed up everything with that kiss.
"Jefferson, right?" he was snapped out of his thoughts by a voice and not long after that a boy sat down next to him. Billy… Henry… whoever… He sighed annoyed, looking up from the paper in his hand. "The Mad Hatter? I need your help."
Of course.
"Look, I've already told your grandfather, I can't do anything," he tried to make it abundantly clear that the family should really just leave him alone.
"I know. But there must be something we can do."
"I'm the wrong person to talk to, kid," he tried to dismiss him. And anyway, what did everybody expect him to do? "Magic's just not my thing. Try your mother. Maybe she's got something in that vault of hers she knows would work."
"Vault?" his eyebrows jumped up to his hairline. He reminded him of May for a moment. "Her vault is here? In Storybrooke?"
"That's not my business. Talk to her."
"What's that? Your daughter's looking for you, isn't she?"
That insufferable curiosity must run in the family, Jefferson thought.
"What'd you know about it?"
"I read your story," the boy stated as if it would have been the most natural thing to read stories about someone's life. "I know how the two of you were separated. Why are you here? She's at school."
"I've got to go home, kid," he told him, standing up. He really didn't have either the time or the patience for this.
"She probably wants to see you."
"Get out of my way," he said impatiently but when Henry wouldn't give up, he repeated himself. "Get out of my way," Jefferson hissed. He should really get out of there. He was seriously at the end of his wits and he found it more and more difficult to stay sane.
"Why aren't you going to find her?" Henry was undeterred by his harshness, disregarding his desperate pleas to be left alone.
"Because I left her," he cried finally, grabbing the boy's shoulders. "She'd hate me." And she'd be every right to do so. He abandoned her and for what?
"How do you know that?" Henry pressed on. Yeah, stubborness was another family trait.
"I was on my way," he admitted reluctantly, suddenly feeling so very tired. He almost believed that there was still hope for him. He was at a place in his life where everything seemed possible. The curse was broken. May was back in his life. Maybe Grace would find it in herself to forgive him. But now… "But fate reminded me that I shouldn't." He was the worst kind of man. How could he trust himself to be a good father to his daughter after what he had done with May?
"You should," Henry pressed on. "I've been left, too. Anything's better than nothing. She will spend her whole life wondering why you left her. Not knowing… is the worst."
Not knowing… Maybe that was the best.
"May," Grannie called to the redhead. "Stop flirting with the man and start working," she told her with a no-nonsene expression, pushing up the glasses on her nose and turning back to doing the books.
May rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh before turning back to the stubby man in a Hawaiian T-shirt. "Sorry, Louie, the lady spoke." And with that she grabbed a plate and walked past the table Grannie was occupying with a frown.
"You do realize that the guy was an orangutan back in our land," Ruby pointed out amused when May returned behind the counter.
"Well, that certainly explains the smell," she laughed then, forgetting about her annoyance, as she turned to start washing up the dirty dishes. "He is a nice guy," she added with a shrug.
"Yeah," Ruby made a face. "If you like the weird ones…" she stopped there with a contemplating frown. "Although I think that's a moot point with you."
"What do you mean?"
"That you have a history with weird," she supplied but when all she got from her friend was a blank look, she sighed. "Come on… Everybody knows that you have something going on with the crazy guy."
"Well, first, he is not crazy," May was quick to defend Jefferson. "And second, we have nothing going on."
"Oh, really?" Ruby put her hand on her hips, arching her eyebrows. "So you want to tell me that there is no reason why you haven't talked about him for a whole year but why you two were suddenly joint by the hips after the curse broke."
A pained expression appeared on May's face at Ruby's choice of words and it didn't go unnoticed by the other woman.
"Well," May started distractedly as she closed the tap and reached for a towel. "You don't see him here now, do you?"
"And that brings me to my second point." May groaned. "You do so have the I-kissed-the-boy look… so, come on, girl, talk to me. You liked it? You didn't like it? Or it's complicated?"
"If you really want to know…"
"I do."
"It's complicated," May sighed, "...and I don't want to talk about it," she added with a serious look.
"That is really reassuring," Grannie delivered her opinion in a flat tone as she appeared next to the two women, "because I don't recall paying you to have your girl talks while people are waiting to be served."
"Right," May almost run out from behind the counter, eager to leave the conversation with Ruby, who just turned to her grandmother with an annoyed look. Grannie only raised a challenging eyebrow before turning to return to her work.
"Hey, Mister," she stopped by the table of Louie with arms crossed on her chest and a disapproving look sitting on her face. "Stop checking out her ass, will you?" The man quickly diverted his eyes from May.
May watched with a bittersweet smile as Jefferon finally, after more than fifty years, pulled his daughter into a crushing hug. She was so happy for him, for finally having what he'd always wanted. She just wished she could be a part of it. She wanted to share in his joy, to be on his side as always. After all she was…
She frowned at the thought, missing how Jefferson lifted Grace in his arms and began to walk. What was she exactly to him? She couldn't really be called his daughter; those times had passed long ago. And anyway, she already had a father.
But it was still so clear in her mind how Jefferson used to tuck her in… how he used to tell tales and sooth her fears after a nightmare. How he always looked after her. That is what a father does. And he did just that in the last couple of days. Even if May couldn't call him a father, he considered himself just that. And May had always been grateful for that... until the previous day.
That kiss the day before clearly spoke of different feelings. It shocked her to the core and if not because of its unexpectedness then because it wasn't unwelcome.
How could she deny that the woman in her had noticed the man in him a long time ago? For the longest time she had a crush on him but that was hardly surprising with the change their relationship went through in her later teen years. Or was that change brought on by her changing feelings? She had the wild phase back then, feeling suffocated by her surroundings but at the same time understanding that there was nothing she could do to change things in her life… at least as far as Storybrooke was concerned. That was why she started, instead of sneaking into town, sneaking out of it.
She enjoyed being with real people, with real men… she became a woman out there. But every time she came home from her adventures out of town, she was faced with Jefferson and his puppy dog eyes, clearly not understanding what was happening to her. She started avoiding him simply because the sight of him stirred something in her that made her uncomfortable.
Things calmed down in her early twenties but May could feel that their relationship changed. There was a distinct shift in their behavior that May had attributed to him accepting her as an independent human being. They became friends. It may have changed their dynamic but their relationship remained solid.
But was that all it was?
As Jefferson disappeared from her sight, she realized that she was in love with the man… she'd been in love with him for the longest time. That was why she ran from him, why she was content with the fleeting feeling of love in other men's arms. It was exciting and liberating. They were strangers without a past with her… they weren't Jefferson.
She never truly faced her feelings towards him and so they'd never really got a proper name - romantic love.
She rubbed her hands together as she could feel a familiar tingling in her fingers. Giving name to those feeling that she'd been running from for years overwhelmed her. She supposed that deep down she always knew that whatever she was feeling, she wasn't supposed to feel.
But she did have those feelings. She closed her eyes, feeling an ache in her heart. She had to deal with them she knew that much because ignoring them would only destroy her relationship with Jefferson. And she knew that she couldn't live with that.
She rubbed her hands against her jeans, willing the nerves to calm down.
She had to get out of there, she decided, then grabbed for her helmet and got on her bike.
May had a favorite spot in the forest, her thinking spot, she liked to call it. That was where she were headed to escape her troubled thoughts. Not the best place to do that, she realized it only about two seconds later that she'd arrived there. She was calling it her thinking spot for a reason after all.
Maybe she should have gone to the Rabbit Hole, throw back a couple of beers, she contemplated as she walked up to the edge of the trail that was pressed between a crag from where she had a clear view of the town and a gently ascending hillside at the bottom of which a funny looking tree was standing, its L shaped trunk giving her a comfortable place to spend many a hour just thinking.
Looking down at the town, she took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind and letting the sound of the forest calm her.
"Trying to escape the madness?" May almost jumped out of her skin at the unexpected voice.
"Jesus Christ," she clapped her hand over her racing heart as she turned around. "Trying to give me a heart attack?"
"Sorry. I guess I just melt into my surroundings," the figure stated with a bitter edge to his voice as he looked up at the woman from his position perched against the trunk of a tree. He shifted a little and that was when May's eyes went wide open. He was made of wood – of course, she was expecting as much but seeing it with her own eyes was just plain weird. Either way, a smile formed on her lips as she stepped up to her father.
"August," she said, crouching down in front of him. "What are you doing here? Are you all right?"
"I would say that I'm fine but… I'm made of wood," he sighed.
"But you're alive," May added, trying to contain her joy over seeing her dad. Carefully, she reached out and gently touched his cheek, mindful of the tingling feeling that returned to her fingers.
"I shouldn't be. There is no magic in this land."
"Oh, but there it is," May objected as she sat down facing him and crossed her legs in front of her. "Magic is back to Storybrooke."
"How?"
"Emma broke the curse and the first thing Mr. Gold does is to bring back magic. If you ask me, he was planning this the whole time."
"He is looking for his…"
"Son, yeah, I know," May nodded.
"Who are you?" August looked at her then, puzzled.
Hope lit in May's eyes – maybe he remembered something. "Do you remember something? Do I seem familiar?"
"Should you? I'm sorry but I was only a kid in the Enchanted Forest… and not for long, either."
"Never mind," May dismissed him with a sad smile. "There is just so much going on lately."
"You always seemed somewhat out of place here," August observed.
"Why are you saying that?"
"I can't really explain it. There was just something about you that was off… but I was clearly right, seeing that you know more than most of the people in Storybrooke. Not to mention that you knew my name," he told her, referring back to their first meeting. "Who are you?" he repeated his previous question.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"You're talking to a puppet here," August pointed out.
"Soon," May smiled at him, putting her hand on his that rested on his knees. "I promise you, I'll tell you soon." And with that she stood and offered him a hand. "Come," she said. "Your father will be overjoyed to see you."
"I can't," August cast down his eyes. It was so difficult to read his expression. "I let him down. I let Emma down… I let everybody down. I'm not ready to face them."
"Then what's the plan? Staying here… forever? You seriously think that that is the solution to your problems? What the hell happened to you?" she snapped. Was her dad always such a coward? Did she remember her dad as he really was or did her memories make everything look better? "The man I know would stand up and fight. He would show that he can change."
"You don't know me," August cried frustrated. "You don't know what I did… or did not, for that matter."
"I know you better than you think I do," May's voice sounded calmer than she felt. She didn't want to pick a fight. "I remember a man who fought for what he thought right… a man who was brave, selfless and true."
"I don't know why it is so important to you but I'm not that man... I never was."
"Yes, you are," May breathed, her arms falling helplessly on her sides. "You just don't remember," she croaked.
"And you're not making any sense," August retorted obviously getting tired of the conversation. "Please, just go."
"All right," May told him after a long moment. "But I'll be back," her voice was determined and didn't leave him time to answer before squatting down again and grabbing his hands, forcing him to look her in the eyes. When he did, she continued, "Please, promise me you won't disappear. Let me be here for you."
August regarded her for a long time before, to May's relief, he spoke up, "There is an abandoned trailer further in the woods."
"Okay," she nodded with a small smile. Maybe she was getting somewhere. "Then I will be back," she squeezed his wooden hands before standing up. "Er… Do you need anything?" she asked unsure. "Food? Drink?" Does a wooden man eat or drink?
"Just your company," August answered with what May supposed was a grateful smile. She nodded in acknowledgement then turned to leave. She was stopped, though, by his voice. "Thank you."
She turned once again and looked at him. He seemed so tired and resigned, it made her heart ache. "Just hang in there," she told him before walking up to her bike and getting on it. She would find a way to turn him back to a man. She had to…
As she sped off, she felt just a little bit better.
TBC
Thanks for reading!
