She knows that things could go south if she goes over there tonight. He's been acting normal like nothing even happened in the bar a week ago and she knows that if she's alone with him she'll be tempted to ask him why that is. He invited her over, said they should catch up and grab dinner and a movie together, maybe even a beer or two. Like this was a few weeks ago, before he'd tried to confess his love and want for her a week ago.

But could she really say no? To something she found so comfortable? She always loved her time spent with him out of work and even though things might have become blurry between them because they don't know what direction they are heading in, she just cannot say no to his companionship.

She reaches his door and knocks before she decides to back out and go home, because she doesn't really know what to expect tonight. When he answers the door in his very casual sweatpants and a t-shirt and his smile lights up her mood immediately, she knows that she was right in coming tonight. It would just be like every other movie night they've had. There's no harm in sharing that with your partner, right?

He greets her warmly and it's sort of unexpected because they haven't talked on a huge personal level in anything more than their casual banter at work since the night in the bar. She greets him back in the same cheerfulness and she walks into his apartment.

"Make yourself at home" he stated, smiling at her as he headed into the kitchen. He's always been extremely comfortable with her in his home. She takes off her coat and walks into the lounge where the television is playing quietly and she knows that he's been sat in front of it since he got home from work. Her eyes flicker around his apartment and she can't help but wanting to be nosy.

She knows he's still with EJ -even though they haven't been out or seen each other in two weeks- she's curious to see if there are reminisce of her in his home. She can't seem to see anything, what does get to her though was that fact she herself was expressed more noticeably in his home. You might not notice if you didn't know they weren't his things but the few books next to his movies on the shelf were hers, a few of the movies he doesn't really like, The Sound of Music for example, on his DVD shelf are actually hers but she stores them here because she hardly ever watches movies at home, she always watches them with him.

There's a few scented candles over his fireplace on the shelf that she brought for him because she hates the smell when he's had his old college buddies over the night before to watch a game. It smells like sweaty men, fatty fried chips, alcohol and just an indefinable odor. She knows it's not him who smells, but she cannot say so much for his friends' cleanliness.

There were a few other little things that you wouldn't know were her influence unless you were him. Also the team pictures that covered the rest of the shelf above his fireplace showed just how much the team meant to him. And the fact he had more pictures of her than anyone else, made her understand she meant more than the others in a different sort of way, not that he would ever admit that. Catching her eye though was the picture from Paris, she's always loved that picture. It meant more to her the fact that it was his 'favourite picture'.

"You can sit down you know? That's what 'make yourself at home' means, being comfortable" he smiled at her as he walked into the lounge with two beers in hand. She hadn't realized she'd fallen into a dream haze until his words broke her thoughts.

"I was just thinking" she smiled back as he handed her one of the beers and they both took a set on the couch.

"I ordered us some pizza, shouldn't be too long" he stated and she nodded at him. She was glad he chose not to ask her what she had been thinking about. There was a airy silence that hung between them in that moment as he flipped through television channels, but she knew it was only because they were nervous on broaching a topic conversation that they didn't want to happen, like in the bar the other night. Things had almost been said that would have complicated things. Things were complicated enough.

When someone knocked at his door he got up and answered it, giving the pizza boy a good tip like always. He returned with the pizza box and laid it on the coffee table in front of her.

"Dinner is served" he smiled at her as he took his seat again. She reached out for the box and lifted the lid, the wonderful smell hitting her right away, she then realized she hadn't actually had anything to eat since the snack bar she had for lunch today. When she reached out and took the first piece she felt Tony shuffle closer on the couch next to her as he reached for his own piece. She didn't mind his closeness and it actually made her feel a little more comfortable and relaxed. Maybe this night wouldn't be so tense after all.

She had to hold back her laughter when Tony got at least half of the pizza slice in his mouth first go, like he'd gone without food for weeks. Sometimes his food habits disturbed her but in the end she couldn't express how much that disturbance made her laugh, he -in more than one way concerned- had a big mouth.

"Are you hungry Tony?" she asked and watched him swallow down his food.

"Yeah, starving. I haven't eaten since like eleven this morning" he replied, taking another large bite. She could relate. Their job wasn't the easiest to work a normal eating schedule around.

When he turned the movie on she couldn't help but smile, he would get so excited. It was like he had no troubles and he escaped the nightmare that was his heart, that he didn't have all these problems to deal with. She had a feeling that movies were his way to escape things, that he could be free of thoughts in the two hours the little DVD gave him of happy, exciting and sometimes unrealistic ways of life. But Hollywood has its own rules when it came to how life really is.

And he must have felt her eyes on him because he turned his head and smiled across at her. A real smile.

"So you didn't have anything to do with your night in the end then?" he asked, she was more interesting than any movie in his eyes.

"I might have" she grinned. And he knew she was lying but he played along.

"Then what are you doing here with me at my apartment watching a movie?" he grinned right back. Why was it so easy for them to fall back into an ease when so much is going on and things were complicated between them? Whatever it was she didn't want to think about, because she was happy like this, with him.

"Because you are my friend" she whispered. It gave him memories of the time they watched the pirate movie at work, he remembers what she said then. Would it be the same reply she gave him now?

"Really?" he asked. Just like last time. There was a twinkle in her eye as she smiled at him.

"Yes" she stated. She didn't lie and say her date cancelled like last time. But what he didn't expect was the next thing she said.

"You are a very good friend" she added. Sometimes he does wish that they were more than friends but that was a complicated road if they were to take it. Maybe they would one day because the things that happened last week weren't nothing, the things said and wanted to be said.

"You are too" he replied, smiling at her. She made him happy without even trying, sometimes it gave him heart palpitations because he was that light and excited on the inside when she smiled at him like that, said things like that. He'd only just realized but Ziva had shifted closer to him on the couch, she was almost touching him.

Something in her eyes softened a little more and she reached out and placed her hand in the middle of his chest, next to his heart.

"I know you'll always be there for me" she said quietly. He wasn't sure if she meant he would always be there for her as s friend or that he would always be there waiting for her when she wanted more than friendship from him. It didn't matter what one, because he would always be there for both and if she wanted either, he would give it to her. He slowly lifted his arm and placed it behind her on the couch, his fingers reaching out and playing with the ends of her curls.

"I will, always" he assured her. Her smile was heating his heart more and more and she wasn't letting go of his chest. Before he knew it Ziva was leaning into him and lying her head against his shoulder, shuffling that little bit closer so her body pressed warmly against his side. He brought his arm from the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her closer, so naturally like he'd been doing it with her for years.

She didn't say anything for the rest of the movie -which he had stopped watching a long time ago. All he did was stare down at her, playing lightly with her hair as he thought about how comfortable this was. How much he wanted this. This is what he wants with her, a comfortable intimacy, but he wants it to be more than friends. He wonders if he'll ever get that. Right now he has high hopes, she was relaxed and comfortable against him, and he could feel her muscles go slack underneath his hands. She was open and safe around him.

She trusted him.

He wondered if she was this comfortable around Ray, maybe on the outside she was but on the inside she was still cautious. He knows it takes a while for her to fully trust someone, it had taken him about six years. If Ray was treating her right Tony would be slightly happy. He wouldn't have what he wanted –her- but at least she would be treated right and happy with Ray. That's the second best thing he could get.

And just holding her like this made him realize, even though EJ was great, she just couldn't measure up to what he needed. And Ziva was right, he couldn't do this to her, string her along when it's unfair to her because he's not really happy with what they have. EJ deserved someone who would treat her right, someone who could love her. Tony was incapable of loving her, his heart already belonged to someone else and he couldn't help it.

He knows that he's going to have to see EJ tomorrow, finally let her go for once. It'll be hard because she'll be upset, maybe even him too because she had been great and he'd understood her. But he couldn't do this to his heart, his heart was too old and fragile, he shouldn't confuse it by trying to believe that he was able to love someone else when deep down he knew he wasn't.

Ziva falls asleep against him before the movie finishes and he doesn't blame her, lately their hours have been hard and long. And if she has that comfort around him to let herself fall asleep then he is happy to give her that luxury. He's comfortable -well not really his back but he'll get over that- with just sitting here with his arms around her, holding her close. It's a comfort for him because he knows she's right there and here with him. He loves her and he doesn't want to let go, but he knows he will have to.

After about an hour of her sleeping she begins to snore softly and he knows she's in a deep sleep. If any other woman snored he would find it unattractive, but with her it's adorable. There's just something different when it's the person you love.

He doesn't know when it was he followed in her lead and fell asleep too. He just couldn't keep his eyes open any longer because he was tired from the week they had too. He just hoped that when he woke she wouldn't be gone. And when he woke she wasn't gone, she was still right in his arms.

Somehow in the middle of the night they had slouched down on the couch and lay across it. She was wedged in between him and the back of the couch, her hand on his chest and her leg slipped between his ones. He could feel her breath warm against the side of his neck and by the pattern of her breathing he knew she was awake. And the fact she hadn't moved was a good thing, it meant she didn't want to move.

He moved his hand that rested on her lower back up the length of her back, letting her know he was awake –even though she probably already did- and she moved slightly against him, not making any distance between them though. Her hand brushed softly against his chest, fingers moving in little circles.

"I have to go in an hour" she said quietly. Her voice still sounding half asleep, she must not have been awake much longer than him. He didn't mean to when his arm tightened around her slightly, and he knows she noticed.

"Do you have to? You could stay, I'll cook breakfast" he tried, he really didn't what her to go. It just made him realize how hard it was for him to let her go. He felt her sigh against his neck.

"I cannot cancel on Ray, he is flying down to see me" she said softly. Was it normal for Tony's heart to tighten in pain when she said that?

"I guess your boyfriend comes first" he replied, not as nicely as it should have come out. She ignored the tone he used, he was just upset that she was going to leave. To be honest she really wanted to stay and share that breakfast with him, maybe she should think about what wanting that means. She moved and he thought she was going to climb off of him and leave, but she didn't.

He felt her soft fingers creep along his jaw until she held his cheek and she lifted her head to meet his eyes. He was looking away.

"Tony…" she said softly. He knew she wanted him to look at her, and could he really say no? He turned his face and locked his eyes on hers.

"He does not always come first. I do not wish to leave but I have not seen him in a long time and I will not have long to see him, he will be gone before the weekend is over. I see you almost everyday Tony, and next time, next time I will stay, ok?" she explained. Her thumb was softly moving across his cheek and he wondered if she touched and looked at Ray as deeply as this.

"Well can you stay a little longer? Don't leave right now" he said and his eyes pleaded with her. She realized then that when he wanted to tell her he loved her in a bar a week ago he really did mean it. Her fingertips moved and she couldn't help it when they softly ran along his lower lip.

"I wasn't planning on leaving right now" she said softly, staring down at him. Her fingers were soft on his lips and he really wanted to kiss her right now, he couldn't help it when she touched him like that.

"Don't change your mind" he whispered, she'd leant closer to him and he was leaning up to meet her. They shouldn't but they couldn't help it. Her lips pressed against his and his heart was pounding. Her lips were just as soft as they looked and he couldn't get enough, did this ever have to stop? He curled his hand around her back and pulled her closer as she kissed him a little harder, she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Just before he was going to take it a little further and let his tongue join hers, she pulled back, breathing heavily. When he opened his eyes hers were closed and she softly ran her hand into the side of his hair while she pressed her forehead against his.

"We shouldn't" she whispered, her eyes opening to look into his. His hand played at the hem of her shirt.

"I know" he whispered back. And she was right, they both had someone else and they shouldn't do this, to them. They weren't the type of people to cheat. She sighed against him and her head dropped to the crook of his neck as she lay down against him. Her fingers were in his hair and his hand slipped under the hem of her shirt, resting against the warm and soft skin of her lower back. She didn't stop him either.

They lay like that for the next hour and when she had to leave to go see Ray he didn't want to let go, honestly neither did she. But he did when she managed to loosen his grip on her. And she had to really think, if her feelings were so strong for Tony, and if that morning and last night had taught her anything, was that Tony didn't offer her any false hope, what he offered her was his heart and anything she wanted. He was there for her.