Sorry it's taken me so long, been avoiding my computer... but this chapter has been ready for a long time but it's been really long and I've thought it'd take too long to type and then my 'friend' borrowed my notebook and read it. She said she liked it a lot so I'm happy about that. Sadly I've been distracted by another story I'm writing, I'll try to focus on this one for you guys. Got any ideas on where the relationship should go? Write it in the Review, it would be REALLY appreciated, and thank all you reviewers.

The twins weren't talking to eachother that day. They had a talk that morning.

"It's all your fault," Hikaru finally accused.

"Oh really?" Kaoru snapped back.

"Yes! It is!"

Tamaki looked over and sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he sat down on the couch across the table from them.

"Kaoru got me into trouble!" Hikaru snarled.

"Why do you hate me?" Kaoru whispered.

Hikaru gazed into his eyes and Kaoru remembered something.

"Do you hate me?"

"Only in public."

"Because you're obnoxious, and now mom and dad think I'm gay!" Hikaru snapped when he figured out that Kaoru remembered.

"Well you cuddled too close!" Kaoru acted, his head hurt at the yelling.

"Because you were whining!"

"Because YOU were too close!"

"But you liked it!"

Kaoru flinched, without realizing it, Hikaru had hit him right on the nose. Did Hikaru realize Kaoru liked it?

"I did not!" Kaoru blushed.

"You know you did!" Hikaru snapped back, more aggressive than before.

"Like you'd care if I liked it! You're self centered and care nothing about my feelings!"

Hikaru growled and pulled Kaoru close, Kaoru blushed at Hikaru's rash actions. Hikaru was holding him like he would at home, kissing his forehead, lips, cheeks, and neck. They were in public in the Host Club. Everyone was staring.

"We're at school," Kaoru finally spoke up.

As if a light bulb flashed on, Hikaru pushed Kaoru and sat down. He was extremely flustered. Kaoru picked himself up off the floor and sat next to his twin. They looked like mirror images.

Hikaru, what was with that?

It was nothing.

What was that?

Nothing!

Kaoru grunted as a sign of defeat, the room was still silent from when the fight started.

"You two know how to kill and make a mood for sure," Tamaki teased, laughing.

"Kao-kun?" Hunny whined, pulling at Kaoru's shirt sleeve.

"Yes Hunny-sempai?" Kaoru responded quietly.

"Wanna come with Takashi and me and get some ice cream?"

"Sure."

Hikaru felt torn as his brother left him. He stared after him and thought about earlier.

"You two aren't allowed to be together anymore," all the staff and adults in the Hitachiin household announced.

"What?" Hikaru had objected.

Kaoru sat quiet the whole time nodding his head. Hikaru couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Now Kaoru, what was this knife incident about?" Their mother had asked Kaoru concerned.

Kaoru stood up and started walking out. "Since when have any of you people ever cared?"

The words Kaoru had said still stung Hikaru's mind as he watched Kaoru leave once again.

"I can explain," Tamaki replied in a hushed voice.

"Explain what?"

"Yesterday."

"Please do, Kaoru didn't explain too well," Hikaru responded.

"Kaoru was breaking down and he needed comfort," Tamaki paused. "He snapped as well."

"Snapped?"

"He was getting very agressive. I don't think he knows how to display his emotions. That's why he doesn't seem as rash as you."

Hikaru put his head in his hands. He fell in love with Haruhi and was losing his best friend, his life companion, his little twin brother. He couldn't imagine a life without Kaoru. Hearing Kaoru had acted this and that way upsetted Hikaru because he wasn't there. Kaoru was right.

They were disconnected.

"No..." Hikaru whispered to himself.

Why hasn't Kaoru ever told me these things? Doesn't he trust me? Doesn't he love me? Doesn't he care about me?

Haruhi walked over and sat next to Tamaki and whispered something in his ear. Tamaki tensed, and Hikaru held his breath.

"You're sure?" Tamaki asked Haruhi.

She nodded and Hikaru felt unsure. "W-what's wrong?"

"Kaoru's gone," Tamaki answered. He stood up and walked with Haruhi out of the Music Room.

"No..." Hikaru whined as everyone left. "...this isn't happening."

"It must be a dream."

Hikaru scrambled and struggled to see the face of the person who'd snuck up from behind. Their hands rested on Hikaru's shoulders.

"I've often wished that. But it's not true."

"Kaoru?" Hikaru guessed.

"I've often wished this was a dream and I'd wake up in a different life, a different world."

"Kaoru? I recognize your voice. This isn't funny, and what are you talking about?"

The grip on his shoulders tightened to the point of hurting. "In that world you didn't know me. I didn't know you. Loving you was all in the dream."

"What are you saying?"

The hands recoiled and sure enough, when Hikaru turned around he saw Kaoru standing there.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Hikaru asked softer.

"Nevermind," Kaoru looked away.

"Don't you dare think I'm an idiot for not understanding that! No one could!"

"But you do understand. That's why you're yelling."

Hikaru recoiled and thought. Kaoru was right.

Does that mean... he wishes he'd never me? Hikaru finally admitted to himself.

"Do you hate me?" Hikaru whispered.

Kaoru smiled and hid his eyes as a tear fell down his hidden face. "Not even in public."

"Kaoru..."

Kaoru scowled and walked away.

"Maybe they should never find me."

"They should never find us."

"SHUT-UP!" Kaoru snapped, still not looking at Hikaru. "I don't want to be with you!"

"You don't?"

Kaoru held his breath as he tried to lie. His mouth wouldn't open.

"Do you know what the knife was about?"

Hikaru paused. "No, not really."

Kaoru looked at him and Hikaru caught a glimpse of Kaoru's crying, alone, pale face. He never realized how alone Kaoru felt.

"I love you." Kaoru choked. "That's why."

"I don't get it."

Kaoru shook his head and stalked off and sat in a corner. The other fice Club members sat around Hikaru and then all six stared at their seventh member, Kaoru. ((They were eavesdropping FYI))

"Kaoru? Are you okay?" Haruhi finally asked.

Of course he's not.

"Yeah," Kaoru replied quietly.

"You wanna go home? I'm sure Kyouya-senpai will allow you to."

"I don't want to go home, never again."

I don't want to leave. Never again. I never want to leave you Kaoru.

"I'll stay with you!" Hikaru spoke up.

Haruhi and Kaoru tensed and Haruhi faked a smile. She gazed at Hikaru solemnly. Hikaru caught it. Everyone did.

"No you won't," Kaoru scowled. "that's what you always promised. Look at us now."

"No, Kaoru, I mean it!"

But everyone knew he didn't.

"I hate you."

The words stung Hikaru's whole being. But they cut and hurt Kaoru worse.

"What?"

"I... h-ha-"

"No!" Haruhi shouted, standing up and stormed over to Kaoru. She slapped him on the head. "We all know you don't! So what is this all about anyway?"

"We're getting seperate rooms, seperate beds, seperate desks, seperate classes..." Kaoru paused. "...seperate lives, seperate hearts."

"Says who?" Haruhi asked quieter.

"Mom and dad and the maids. They want their kids to get married. They want grandchildren."

"Don't you want to get married?"

"YOU DON'T GET IT!" Kaoru snapped again as he punched the wall. "I DO want to get married! But not to some-some... petty princess!"

Haruhi held her breath as Kaoru stood and grabbed her shoulder firmly. She'd never felt this around Kaoru before. She never felt fear around sweet and gentle Kaoru.

"I don't want to marry someone like you, either."

"Then who do you want to marry?"

"Shut-up!" Kaoru whined, still hiding his face. "Just shut-up!"

Haruhi hugged him and stroked his back. He hugged her back.

"Do you hate me, Kaoru?"

"You? Not ever. I could never hate any of you." Kaoru replied.

"Good," Haruhi giggled in relief and hugged him tighter. "any better yet?"

"No," Kaoru answered truthfully.

"I'll take care of it," Tamaki interrupted as he got up and walked over. He took Kaoru's hand after the two broke the hug. "come with me."

The two sat in a corner and the other five eavesdropped.

"What's wrong?"

"My Hikaru..." Kaoru whined in his high pitch tone as he fell and leaned on Tamaki. Tamaki wrapped his arm around him. "...my Hika-chan. They're taking him away from me!"

"Wasn't that your plan from the start? To seperate from Hikaru?"

"Yes, but..."

"What?"

"I never wanted to!"

Tamaki laughed, "You idiot."

"Shut-up."

"No, if you can't silence someone with that phrase it means they love you."

"You love me?"

"We all do," Tamaki admitted. "we're a family. Remember?"

"Family sucks."

Tamaki sighed and they sat in silence for a moment.

"So the knife incident was because you loved Hikaru?" Tamaki inquired.

"I love Hikaru, thank you, not loved."

"Sorry... because you love Hikaru?"

"Nah, Hika-chan startled me and the knife stabbed me."

"Why were you alone with a knife?"

Hikaru hushed and squirmed a bit.

"I dunno."

Tamaki sighed.

"You calm, yet?"

"...yeah."

Kaoru looked up at Tamaki and smiled. "You selfish brat."

"You arrogant idiotic twin," Tamaki laughed back.

Tamaki stared into the face again. The others only caught a glimpse. The eyes hurt and were more deathlike than yesterday, and the skin was tearwashed and too pale.

"Get some sleep before you let them see you," Tamaki suggested, staring into the dying eyes.

"Yes M'Lord," Kaoru chuckled.

"You can't take him away from me!" Kaoru overheard Hikaru.

He walked over to the living room entrance and stared in at the three. Mom and Dad sat on the couch while Hikaru sat in an arm-chair.

"Why not?" The mom asked.

"He's dying..." Hikaru whispered.

"Nonsense!" Their dad scowled. "Kaoru's a big boy now."

"He's my brother!" Hikaru sobbed.

"Not your lover!" Their parents finished.

"He's my Kaoru! He'll die!"

"You'll still se eachother!" Mom noted.

"He's already dying!"

Hikaru covered his face and he trembled as he cried.

"I'm killing him."

The parents looked at eachother.

"Maybe Kaoru should be in a psychward?"

"My baby brother," Hikaru whined. "he's dying!"

Kaoru ran in and hugged his brother. They held eachother so tightly it felt like they were bleeding.

Their parents watched solemnly. Tamaki and Haruhi stood behind the couch, they'd come when the twins parents asked them to.

"You're not really doing this, right?" Tamaki asked concerned.

"They're too close. We're afraid of what this could turn into. I don't want my children to love no one other than eachother."

"But Hikaru and I are going out," Haruhi added.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Kaoru felt himself beginning to hate that voice. Maybe he was starting to hate Haruhi.

"I don't see you as a brother, they're right," Kaoru whispered into Hikaru's ear.

Hikaru trembled at Kaoru's warm breath, maybe he didn't see Kaoru as just a brother either. Or maybe Kaoru was just a way to relieve hormones. But Kaoru was the only one who got Hikaru's hormones raging.

Right now, Hikaru's hormones were raging worse than Kaoru's anger. Kaoru was feeling the same thing.

"Damn hormones..." they both whispered.

They held eachother closer and tighter, trying to hide how close their waists were. Hikaru kissed Kaoru's neck out of their parents view. They didn't want to get in more trouble, but they needed this.

Kaoru needed Hikaru.

Hikaru needed Kaoru.

Tamaki caught on to what was happening.

"Maybe we should talk about this outside!" He suggested.

The parents agreed and walked outide with Tamaki. Haruhi stayed and watched the twins.

"Oh, thank God for the Lord," Hikaru replied in great relief. "I don't know how much longer I could stay still!"

Kaoru climbed up and sat in Hikaru's lap. His legs hung over the armrest and he layed his head on Hikaru's chest. They both blushed and Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru's waist possessively.

Kaoru licked Hikaru's neck and Hikaru trembled making Kaoru go red.

"How're your hormones now?" Kaoru mocked.

Hikaru interlocked lips with him and they kissed long and hard. Their tongues hurt too, but they still wanted more.

Haruhi closed her eyes as she realized she had feelings for Hikaru too. But she already loved Tamaki. It was like a love square instead of triangle. ((Keep in mind the question, "or does she have feelings for insert name here ?"))

"I just wanna do you right here and now," Hikaru laughed, kissing Kaoru's upper lip again.

"Get me to our room and I won't object," Kaoru replied.

Haruhi watched as Hikaru carried Kaoru up the stairs.

"There would always be problems with either guy," Haruhi realized. "Tamaki and his family and Hikaru and his twin."

Hikaru and Kaoru laid down on their bed together, cuddling up. They sighed in unision and tried to get their reactions to die down.

"You might have just ruined it with Haruhi," Kaoru pointed out, staring sideways at his twin. Hikaru was focusing on the ceiling, but he must have been paying more attention to his hand as it stroked Kaoru's arm.

"I don't care," Hikaru finally replied as he rolled over to look at his twin. "you're dying."

Kaoru turned over to avoid his twins eyes. Through their seperation Hikaru could finally see Kaoru's pain.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Kaoru closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Leave me alone.

Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru and pulled him close.

"You can tell me things," Hikaru cooed.

"Not anymore, this is the last time we'll share a room, the last night, Hikaru!" Kaoru sobbed, his body trembling.

Hikaru let go and sat up.

"Maybe it's a good thing," Hikaru thought out loud quietly. "if it would've happened just a week ago I wouldn't have gotten attached. Maybe we should just get girlfriends and forget about it.

Kaoru's throat choked and he felt like he needed to writhe at the pain in his stomach. He squeaked, "yeah."

"Don't go," Kaoru remembered Tamaki saying. He knew what that meant now.

I can't keep that promise, Kaoru finally admitted to himself as Hikaru left the room. I'm sorry, Tamaki.

"Where's Kaoru?" Everyone asked worridly as Hikaru walked in.

"Off my back," Hikaru responded a bit snottily.

Tamaki stared at Mr. and Mrs. Hitachiin and frowned.

"Poor Kaoru," he muttered.

He looked around and walked towards the stairs. He looked back at everyone and said aloud, "I'm gonna go see what Kaoru's up to."

The parents nodded in approval and then went on talking to people. Tamaki ascended the stairs and carefully walked into the twins' bedroom.

"I can't," Kaoru kept whispering over and over again. He was sprawled out on his bed. Finally he said something new as Tamaki was going to sit down on the bed. "I just can't anymore, I'm so sorry."

"You can," Tamaki replied, putting his hand on Kaoru's and squeezing it tight. "depending on what it is, of course."

Kaoru refused to look at Tamaki.

"I can't."

"Can't what?"

Kaoru sat up, embraced Tamaki, and started sobbing deeply. Tamaki just hugged him back.

"There, there."

"I can't!" Kaoru sobbed deeper.

I hate this, I'm getting close to people.

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," Tamaki sighed.

"No! It's not okay!"

"Are you okay?"

"..."

"Kaoru?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Then you'll promise me you'll stay?" Tamaki nagged a bit.

Kaoru flinched.

"I can't. I won't."

Tamaki pushed him away, held his shoulders, and gazed into Kaoru's eyes. It looked like he was searching for something. He sighed and chuckled.

"We're the Host Club. We help relationships, remember?" Tamaki laughed.

"It's done!" Kaoru snapped pushing Tamaki down on the bed. "You can't tell."

"I don't want you to go, I can't just standby and watch you die."

"You've done a good job at it so far!"

"Kaoru-"

"Tamaki."

"When did I change from 'Lord'?"

Kaoru gazed into Tamaki's eyes. One big family.

"Dad."

Tamaki took a quick breath and seemed to prod Kaoru's head for answers. Kaoru wasn't giving in, he was concerned himself.

"Make sure my son doesn't sexually abuse your sister," Tamaki tried to lighten the mood.

"She'll have worse to worry about if that happens," Kaoru whispered codly, his words bitter and sharp.

"Kaoru? Lord? What are-"

The two turned their heads to look at Hikaru in the doorway. Poor kid, must've been a disturbing scene for him. His little twin brother pinning down his Club leader who was a year older than his brother.

Kaoru glared at his brother with a gaze Hikaru used to understand. Now he couldn't. But Kaoru read Hikaru easily and perfectly. Hikaru was scared, shaken, rattled, and worst of all...

Jealous.

Something new hit Kaoru's senses, it was a new emotion. It was sick pleasure. Something about Hikaru's horrorful awe and jealousy made Kaoru smile.

"What is it, big brother?" Kaoru seemed to mock.

What's wrong with me? Kaoru wanted to scream. This isn't me. I don't want to see Hikaru hurt. I don't like Dad-Tamaki!-that way!

"How-how could you?" Hikaru finally shouted. "I came to apologize for earlier!"

"I didn't do anything wrong," Kaoru whispered returning his gaze to Tamaki. Something made him feel sick. Suddenly he wanted nothing but see these people hurt.

This isn't me.

Hikaru scowled and stormed down the stairs to see Haruhi.

Kaoru glared into Tamaki's eyes, the blood rushing through veins and the sick feelings spread with it.

"Family sucks."

"No it doesn't-"

"They all like Hikaru better. They couldn't care less about me."

"That's not true!"

"Oh? Is it?"

Tamaki cringed and flinched at Kaoru's new attitude.

"Hikaru! Haruhi!" Tamaki shouted as pure horror flashed in his eyes for a moment. Kaoru grinned.

This isn't me.

"Kaoru?" Haruhi asked walking into the room.

"Get lost, princess."

These aren't my words.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru snapped pulling Kaoru off of Tamaki. "What's with that? Don't talk like that to them!"

"You can."

"No I can't!"

"You did."

"I got slapped though!"

"What's your point?" Kaoru snarled, glaring hatefully into Hikaru's eyes. Everyone saw the hate.

No one saw the screaming of help.

"I can't believe this is what my brother's become under jealousy," Hikaru scoffed. "I'm glad we're getting seperated!"

"So am I!"

"I wish-"

"Wishing doesn't get you anything!"

"Go back to normal!" Hikaru yelled, pinning Kaoru to the bed.

"How do you know that this isn't me?" Kaoru growled.

"You wanna know what?"

"What?" Kaoru scowled.

Hikaru slapped him hard across the face and Tamaki and Haruhi ran out. "I hate you. I hope I never see your face again."

Hikaru left with the others. Kaoru walked to the window and saw everyone leaving: the maids, parents, Hikaru, and the Club. They all left Kaoru behind.

Kaoru's legs finally collapsed and he regained himself once he hit the floor. He sobbed deeply and his face and head hurt from Hikaru's slap. But his heart the worst. Now his brother hated him, he didn't even want to see Kaoru's face.

"I can't!" Kaoru screamed slamming his head against the wall. "I can't take it no longer!"

It hurts... Kaoru curled into a ball.

"It hurts..."