Chapter 4: A Date
The whole time all he wanted to do was make out, which I think he said was some kind of kissing?He also made a pun about french kissing. Pervy bastard. But whatever i dont know or care about that kinda stuff, unless it involved England. Wow kissing Arthur, what would that- oh yeah I'm with old frog face right now.
"So France, why don't you tell me about yourself and take 4 steps away from me?" "Hold that thought," he went away and came back, "For you." "R- really? For me?" it was a rose. "Yes." "I've never been given a present before?" "really?" "no." "not even once? By Britain or something?" "Not ever? Oh wow thank you I'll keep it forever!" I'd hate to admit it but ill probably keep it in a box somewhere, stash it away, and look at it from time to time like I tended to do with things that were precious to me.
But you know it was really sweet of him to give me something. No! No! He's France of course he's sweet! Remember what Lichtanshtine said! 'Big Brother Switzerland told me to be careful of France! He says he's only after one thing.' 'and what's that?' 'I don't know, he wouldn't tell me.' I'll bet it's my soul or something, no wait that's russia.
Right, well time to do what New Zealand does best, make huge profits off of tourists! "Oh France! Have you ever been to the vineyards?" "No I have not." "Come on this way! I'm sure you'll love it!" I was going to run ahead but instead I gulped nervously and took his hand. I watched some movies with the local girls and this is what you were supposed to do on a date, fake or not.
As I was guiding him I pretended it was Britain... It was glorious. I swear I could hear La vie en rose. Everything went into slow motion, sepia tone. I was smiling and Britain was too. Then I looked behind me to see his face for reals, when the sight of a happy France brought me back into reality. At this point I was thinking it would have been easier to ask Britain myself, but then again I would have kiwied out. (like chickened out... MAPLE!)
"here we are!" "Wow zis is beautiful!" I went I to get a bottle, "This our most popular bottle, people come from all around to get a drop of the stuff. I'll have Ralf over there give you the SPECIAL deal." "oh wow! Sanks!" I gave the signal to ralf in New Zealand Sign Language. Thank god France is reluctant to learn almost anything outside of French.
France went over to buy it for himself like the drunken git he is, "That'll be $10000." you see France is a man who tends to carry way too much money on him, which was always handy. "In Yen?" "Don't kid yourself. Just pay up." "10000 is just absurd!" "Absurd! Why this is but the finest wine in all of the pacific! People come from all around in hopes to taste a drop, no smell the bottle! I believe 10000 is very fair, and besides... America can afford it? But I guess I expected too much from you France, I guess I was wrong about your greatness." "Fine! I'll pay!"
You see whenever an annoying tourist showed up we had a special signal that would up the price a bit, if you were a country though it'll go up quite a bit more. We did the same trick on America last time he came, $6000 not bad. Luckily he bought a few more and got so hammered he forgot all about it, and so we got away with it.
Britain hates France so I'm sure he'll be proud when I tell him! It was getting late, "oh I guess we had better get home?" I have to say I had fun, I mean I played a trick on him, and he gave me a rose. I have to say even though it wasn't England but his mortal enemy France, I still had fun.
We were about half way home when I noticed the streets were empty, and then it started to rain. He took off his jacket and made a sort of umbrella for us as we ran through the sudden down pour laughing. I have to say I had never once been caught in this weather unprepared before and it was just funny because his coat really wasn't doing anything. "Hey hold on we can just wait for the rain to stop in that cave over there!" I called and we made a B line for it.
We sat on the cave floor trying to get the water out of our hair and clothes while they were still on. "Well wasn't that just lucky haha," I said. "Yeah at least we had my coat," he said sarcastically. "Oh hold on I think I have matches around here." "What?" "Well I used to come here as a kid, I'm sure I left random little things like that some where. Oh here!" I pulled up a little box and dusted it off then I lit one.
The first thing that caught our eyes in the darkness was my unfinished carving. I knew exactly who it was, but he, "Did you make that?" "Oh! Y- yeah a while back, I can barely remember what it was though?" "It looks like someone?" "oh really? Who?" "I can't place it but it's definitely familiar." the rain had stopped, "we has better get back." "New Zealand?" he took my hand, "Do we have to return now?" would Britain hate me for this? Probably? "Alright, we can stay here a little longer..."
